We Are Not Alone
by TickTockBANG555
Summary: Alice is a normal girl who meets an unfortunate fate. Jasper is a boy who's had a rough life that keeps getting worse. Their "psychological problems" cause their paths to cross at a mental institution. Together, they find out that they are not alone.
1. Emergency

**I'm BAAAAAA-aaaack! I could never leave you all forever :D I WUW YOU ALL TOO MUCH! Even if I don't know you yet, I WUW YOU.**

***Cough* ANYWAY, I pre-wrote 8 ½ chapters for you, my lovelies! Here's the first!**

Chapter 1: Emergency

APOV

We hurried onto the waiting subway car just before the automatic doors slid shut. I breathed a sigh of relief as my mother and I took our seats beside the doors. We both made sure that our load of shopping bags wasn't in the way of anyone who would get off before us. I was still excited about all of my new clothes. We couldn't go on a real shopping spree today, but I would take what I could get. Hopefully I could convince my mom that we have to go early next weekend for a major shopping trip. She enjoys shopping as much as I do, so there's a good chance that she'll say yes.

We both sat in a comfortable silence apart from the soft groan of the subway train chugging along the underground track. I looked around the car at the many different people surrounding me. There was a worn-out looking mother shushing the squirming and crying child in her arms, a couple about my age holding hands and whispering to each other across from me, quite a few people in suits and with briefcases getting home from work littered throughout the car, and a man with a blonde boy in the far corner to my right.

I played with my fingers and thought about what I would wear to school tomorrow to keep me busy when my vision got slightly blurry around the edges. I blinked, thinking that I having my eyes open for too long caused the blur, but they didn't sting, and the haze crept inward to cloud the rest of my sight. I didn't have much time to panic before I could slightly focus on something that came up.

I was looking at the exact same scene; the mother and child, the couple, the business people, the blonde boy, the man with him, and me and my mother. I checked my watch to read 5:12 when the subway violently jerked. At the blink of an eye, the front half of the car crumpled, crushing everything on that end. The rest of the car swiftly crashed together. The train had hit another one. That was the only explanation. Everything went black.

I snapped upright and drew in a fast, shaky breath. My mother turned her bored gaze to me and the tedium turned into worry. "Something wrong?" she asked.

"The train is going to crash," I blurted in a whisper before I could stop myself. For some reason, I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that what I just saw would actually happen if nobody prevented it. Her expression became confused as she took in my shocked face.

"That's nonsense," she chuckled incredulously, "the train is fine."

"No it's _not,_" I tried to reason in a frantic hiss. "It's going to crash, Mom! At 5:12. That's in…" I quickly checked my watch, "_two minutes_! We have to do something!"

"Honey, there's nothing to worry about!" She glanced around, probably seeing if anyone overheard our conversation. She was all about keeping up a good appearance and hiding our family's dirty little secrets, which she tried to avoid getting in the first place. When you lived in a town as small as Forks, Washington, secrets spread as fast as wildfire. My mother and father would be furious if I was the cause of ridiculous gossip.

"There is too something to worry about! The train is going to crash! It has to _stop, _I have to _stop it_!" My voice was rising, and the people sitting around us looked up at us, annoyed, confused, and worried. They _should _be worried; I was running out of time, and arguing wouldn't save anyone right now. I would have to take action.

"Stop it, Alice. The train will be fine. _We'll _be fine. Calm _down_."

"No!" I whipped my head around frantically, trying to find something that could help. I found it quickly; at the end of the car nearest the man and the blonde boy was a silver box. Emergency brake. I leaped up and ran to it, ignoring my mother's calls for me to come back. I threw the door of the box open and yanked the lever down.

The train shuddered to a halt. The people in the car complained about the unexpected stop, and my mother was at my side instantly. Of course, she was fuming at my scene.

"What are you doing?"

"I had to stop the train!"

A short, fat man in a blue uniform burst through the door at the other end of the car. His plump face was getting red as he took in the scene. I guess I'm not everyone's favorite person today…

"Who stopped the train?" he growled gruffly. He spotted me near the emergency brake and came stomping over. "Did _you_ do it?" I could only nod in response to his angry question. His face darkened into another shade of red.

"You're in _big trouble _young lady!" He grabbed my wrist and dragged me along with him back to the other end of the car. My mother scooped up our bags and followed through the door that the man came in. When the doors shut and the staring passengers couldn't hear us, he turned around and let go of me.

"What do you think you were doing? Why did you stop the train? We run on a tight schedule! You can't just go pulling emergency brakes whenever you feel like it!"

"It was going to crash, sir," I whimpered. He was starting to scare me a little.

"And how would _you _know _that_?" he asked in a sarcastic and disbelieving tone. Nobody would believe me…

"I… I-"

"You _what?_" Okay, now he was just annoying me.

"I saw it," I explained in a hard and confident tone. I would make him believe me. "I saw the train crashing at 5:12. We all would have died."

He laughed at my statement. "The train was going to crash? At 5:12? Hah! Well, it's…" he checked his watch, "5:12 now. Did the train crash?"

"Uh, no, because I stopped it in time. You're welcome."

"Don't get smart with me! You're in enough trouble as it is! And how did you "see" this happening, anyway?"

"I don't know… I just saw it… like a vision or-"

"A _vision_ of the _future! _Oh please! Ridiculous! What kids these days come up with to get out of trouble gets more absurd by the day!"

"It's true-"

"Not another word from you!"

"I'm _so_ sorry, sir," my mother chimed in, putting a hand on my shoulder behind me. "She must have fallen asleep and dreamt the whole thing. I apologize for the whole incon-"

I pulled away from her hand. "I didn't fall asleep! It's the truth!" I wailed. "Someone has to believe me! Please!" I glanced back and forth at them both, desperate for them to listen to me.

"Just hope the police believe you," he said as he pulled out a cell phone from his pocket. "Let's see what _they _have to say about your so-called "visions of the future.""

**Lurve it? Hate it? Ya wanna cry it's so awesome? You wanna eat me it's so pitiful? Review pleases. If I get a few reviews, I'll post the next chappie. I'm not doing that just to get reviews; I don't want to waste my time with something no one will read. And if you hated it, give me constructive criticism so I can make it better. Thanks.**


	2. Unwell

**OH MY GOSH PEOPLE. Do you know how awesome you are? VERY. Got some alerts, favorites, and reviews. Thanks :D Since you are all so insanely awesome, I decided that I shan't delay this chapter for too long. **

Chapter 2: Unwell

JPOV

My eyes snapped open as I shot upright in bed for the sixth time. My erratic breathing slowed after a minute of just sitting in bed and calming down. I ran a hand through my blonde curls. _It was just a dream,_ I chanted in my head. _It was just a dream… _another _dream…_

It was the students at my school this time. They were pointing and snickering at me, and I was trying to get away from their judging stares, but everywhere I went, they haunted me. The recap of my dream made me realize that today was Sunday, which meant I would have school tomorrow. Great. If they stared and laughed only in my dreams and not in reality…

I laid back down on my back and stared at the ceiling. I liked this part of my day. After the boredom, it's something that fills up the time okay. Just laying there and staring at the ceiling requires no thinking. Just staring. There's no pressure.

I did this for a few hours maybe when there was a hard knock on the door. "Jasper?"

"Yeah?" I answered.

"Get ready, we're going out." I heard him walk away, and that was that. I hopped up from bed, got some clothes to change into, and went over to the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom. After getting cleaned up quick, I changed, brushed my teeth, and combed my hair a little bit to make myself presentable. Once I was ready, I went out into the living room.

The living room was the part of the apartment that Henry did a lot with. There were leather chairs centered around a flat screen TV and the brick walls had various black and white photographs in simple frames. This is one of the better places I've been in the past eight years, and one of my favorites.

Henry was on the leather sofa in his usual attire on jeans and a flannel shirt with his worn out black work boots. He didn't need much diversity with being a carpenter and working in the shop all the time. He stood up when he saw me enter and greeted me with a smile.

"We just have to run some errands," he informed me. I nodded and followed him out, grabbing our coats as we passed the coat rack. We went down the elevator to the lobby and stepped out into the pouring rain. We didn't take his shiny red Mustang for errands; the subway wasn't a far walk from the apartment. He loved his car and how fast it went, but he only drove it on longer journeys. He was afraid it would get stolen, and there was a big chance it would. It was Seattle, after all.

We walked silently with our hoods up along the rain spattered sidewalk. Seattle usually tended to reflect my mood with its dark clouds and rainy days. I didn't like Seattle much, though. There were so many people around, shouting and hurrying along and making me nervous. But Henry thought it was good for me to get out once in awhile on little trips like these. I disagreed, but never said it out loud. I knew he was trying his best to be a good parent all by himself.

There weren't many people on the sidewalks that we had to dodge on the short walk we had to take, but there were a lot of honking horns from taxis zooming past. I really didn't mind the rain, and I guess Henry didn't either. The rain wasn't a hassle to me like it is to most people; the steady beat of it calms me down, and the water is refreshing. I would always watch thunderstorms out the window when I was younger. Right now, the rain was a convenience because it cleared the sidewalks of people. Another reason I like the rain.

After a few minutes, we went underground to the subway and sheltered ourselves from the rain. Anxiety knotted my stomach as I saw all of the busy people running around, trying to catch their trains on time. Henry and I weaved through the crowd while I mumbled words of encouragement to myself. "Almost there," I whispered. When I noticed a few people glance at me when I passed, I ducked my head.

I followed Henry onto the right subway car, and we took our seats in the far right corner of the car. Henry knew my aversion to people, and he tried to do things as conveniently for me as possible. I guess that's why we've gotten along so well for two years. He knew that I was shy and not a people person, and he respected that and tried his best to make me comfortable while I was under his care. The only thing that I didn't like was he insisted on me getting out once in awhile, around people, around noise.

We sat and waited patiently for the train to take off. In the car was many people in suits and dress clothes, a couple holding hands and whispering to each other, and a mother rocking her baby back and forth in her arms.

I checked my watch to see that there was only about three minutes until we would take off. In that amount of time, a few more business people and what appeared to be a mother and her daughter with shopping bags entered. The mother and daughter were out of breath, and the doors closed right when they took their seats by the doors.

I looked at the girl that had just gotten on. She was tiny, but her face looked much older than what her body frame made her appear. There was a hint of a smile on her lips, like someone who was happy even when they were doing nothing. The smile suited her. It seemed like a big part of her and her personality. But I wouldn't know; I didn't know her. In fact, I've never seen her in my life before. But I kept staring.

She didn't seem to notice. She played idly with her fingers, the faint smile still in place. I continued to watch her for no reason, ready to duck my head if she ever looked up to find some creepy kid staring at her. Even thought she didn't know me and I didn't know her and I would probably never see her again in my life, I didn't want her to have a bad impression of me. Like many things at the moment, I didn't know why.

She still didn't catch on to my gazing after a few minutes. I was about to bow my head to look at the floor when her expression changed. Her fingers stopped, and the smile turned into a line. Her eyes zoned out and kind of glazed over. Maybe she had thought of something that made her behave this way. I wished that she would stop thinking it. I liked the other look better.

Like she could hear my thoughts, she snapped out of her strange trance. But instead of the smile returning, she looked frantic. Her mouth opened slightly and her eyes went wide. Her mother, who was previously staring at the floor, looked up at her daughter and said something to her. She responded. Her mom got a look of surprise, then disbelief. They continued with a hushed conversation, the girl looking like she was trying to get her mother to understand while her mom was being persistent on not believing what her daughter was saying. I was confused until their argument wasn't as hushed as it was before.

"There is!" the girl hissed. "The train is going to crash! It has to _stop, _I have to _stop it_!" People started looking up and glaring at her for disturbing their peace. Some people looked anxious.

"Stop it, Alice," her mother ordered. "The train will be fine. _We'll _be fine. Calm _down_."

"No!" She looked around quickly before her eyes met with something on the wall I was sitting nearest. I would have been worried that she saw me staring if everyone else wasn't staring at her, too.

She ran over to what she saw while her mother was yelling, "Alice! Alice, get back here!" Alice, as I now knew, ignored her, and pulled on the emergency brake.

The subway train shuddered and stopped. Once the train was safely in place, Alice's mother shot out of her seat and stomped over to her. She looked absolutely infuriated.

"What are you doing?" Her mom hissed.

"I had to stop the train!"

At the other end of the car, the door flew open and a plump man with a red face and a blue uniform entered. He looked around the car with narrowed eyes and then asked, "Who stopped the train?" His stare focused on Alice, who was still standing in front of the brake.

He made his way over to her. "Did _you_ do it?" he growled. She seemed startled, just like I would have been. She nodded at his question, looking scared. "You're in _big trouble_ young lady!" His fat hand seized her wrist and dragged her back towards the door from which he came. Her mother followed, quickly grabbing the shopping bags that were on the floor as she passed. The door slammed shut behind him, and we were all left alone here.

A few people grumbled and glared at the door that the group had just disappeared through, while other just sat looking confused and wondering what to do next. I just blankly stared at the door. I was confused, but not like the other were. How had Alice known that the train was going to crash? Unless she could see the train that would collide with this one, she couldn't have possibly known. And was she okay? What would happen to her? How much trouble was she in for this? What would her explanation be?

The questions filled my head and kept my mind busy as the time passed. Henry asked me, "What _was _that?" as if the questions swirling in my brain were answered. I just shrugged and stared at the floor, still trying to sort this out.

While I was pondering, I started feeling a bit claustrophobic. I never realized how small this car was until I've been in it for so long… I tried taking deep breaths to steady the feeling of the walls closing in, but it drove my only distraction out of my head. I rested my elbows on my knees and supported my head with my hands. I tugged on my hair as a feeble attempt to ease my growing stress.

My drowsiness started to take over my mind as I sat. That feeling slowly started to push my anxiety out like the worry did before. My eyes drooped closed, but I didn't fight the sleep. I was too tired. My mind calmed down… darkness started to take over… started pulling me under… a dull relief relaxed my muscles as I drifted…

I was nine again. I could feel the dry trails of tears on my face. I stared blankly ahead of me as the police officer said things in a soothing tone. And it had worked a little. At least I had stopped crying.

He told me things that would happen. The foster care, the therapy, and how things would get better for me. I believed him. I actually thought that therapy would make me better and that I would go to a nice family who would love me as much as my parents did. I thought it would be hard at first to move on from the tragedy, but I would get through it with Rosalie and a loving family. I knew nothing would be the same, but I figured that I would make it through.

The officer told me that I was safe and that Jonathan Streck would be sent to jail for the rest of his life and that he would never be able to hurt me or Rosalie again. I believed that, too. He would be locked up. He would be far away from me and my sister. He couldn't possibly be able to cause me any more pain than he already has.

I thought that just because the officer was an adult that he knew everything. That had he had somehow predicted the future and that he was right about everything he had said to me. I would move on. He would never hurt me again. I would go to a nice family with Rose. I would be just fine. I trusted him. He thought he was right, and I thought I would be fine.

I guess we were both wrong there. About everything.

I abruptly woke. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see that Henry had shaken me awake. "You okay?" he asked me with familiar concern. I nodded. He nodded back and sat back in his seat with his ankles crossed and his arms folded.

I sat upright. Why would he think I wasn't fine? It wasn't even my worst nightmare. I've had worse when he had to roughly shake me awake with a sheen of sweat on my face and I was panting loudly. He said I was thrashing and screaming in my sleep. I couldn't have done that; my breathing had been normal, my face dry, and I was in the same position as I was when I had fallen asleep.

People were string at me with concern and curiosity. They all looked down when I caught them. I cast my eyes to the floor, too, embarrassed. I must have done something to catch their attention and make Henry ask if something was wrong. I hated it when these things happened. Attention didn't work well with me. Usually, it was people staring at me because I was weird. A lot of people don't like that kind of attention, me being among that group.

People were starting to look tired and annoyed. I guess they had things to do and places to be. Or they could just want to be at home more than here. It could be both. I didn't want to be here, either.

I noticed that the door that Alice, her mother, and the man had gone through was open. I could see all of them and a police officer standing there; Alice hung her head and nodded occasionally at what the officer in front of her was saying while her mother was at Alice's side and the man was smirking triumphantly. What, did he enjoy teenage girls getting told off for something that they thought was right? I hate the subway…

The passenger doors opened now, and a different officer came inside. "The train will continue shortly," he informed us shortly and in a bored voice. He stepped out after that brief announcement, probably not wanting to stick around longer than necessary. Some people's agitation seemed lifted at the news that they would be getting where they needed to go. I was just glad I would be getting off of this stupid train soon.

I turned my attention back to Alice and the others, but they were gone and the door was shut. What would happen to Alice?

The train began to move again. The obvious annoyance at the delay that showed on people's faces was for the most part lifted, accept for the few people that were still angry that there _was _an unexpected stop.

Henry and I got all of our errands done shortly. The places that we had to go were all close to one another, so there wasn't much walking that had to be done. A little bit of stretching did feel good after sitting for so long.

When we were ready to get back onto the subway again, there were some people checking their watches and asking one another why the train was late. Once it came, they let it go and boarded. Henry and I got back on and endured another trip underground. This trip seemed felt much shorter even when it was on time because of the delay, which was good for me. I've had enough of the public for one day.

When we got back to the apartment, I went straight to my room and changed into sweats and a T-shirt for bed. Despite the nap on the subway, I was still tired from poor sleep last night. I brushed my teeth and fell into bed. I would need all of the rest I could get for school tomorrow.

When I was lying on my back trying to get to sleep, I was afraid of what sleep would bring. Another nightmare, no doubt, but which one? Would it be a bad one, or one I could endure okay? _Get some sleep, _I told myself, _some good could come out of tomorrow…_

It was strange how I could still have hope, but there it was. I knew it was useless, but I still clung to it like a lifeline. All I really had was that one shred of hope that things would get better.

**Because some people might love seeing their names in other people's stories as much as I do:**

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	3. Conspiracy

**My official update days are now Sundays (start of the week) and Wednesdays (middle of the week), courtesy of fanpire110. **

Chapter 3: Conspiracy

APOV

I fidgeted nervously in my chair while Officer Jeffrey moved some papers and files around on his desk. He glanced at me while doing so, and that made me squirm in my seat even more. I was silently freaking out, worried that I would be in serious trouble because of my stunt on the subway, or that it would go on my permanent record. Or both. My parents would be so mad… my mom was asked to stay in a waiting area while I was asked some questions and my dad was on his way. I was expecting an interrogating room like on TV, or something like one, but it was just Officer Jeffrey's office. I guess that's better…

"So," he drawled while pulling out a paper from a manila folder, "Mary Alice Brandon… do you want to tell me what happened on the subway today?" Well, not the full-on interrogation I was expecting… I figured that I should tell the truth and hope that he would believe me.

He was waiting patiently for my story. "Um… well…" My voice was shaky, but he continued to stare at me calmly for me to continue. "I told my mom and the guy on the train, but neither of them believes me. I barely believe it myself, to tell you the truth…"

"Just tell me what you think happened, and I'll listen." I didn't miss the fact that he said he would listen, not a guarantee that he would believe me. At least he would hear me out instead of shooting the possibility of me seeing the future down.

"Okay… well, I was just sitting there, and then my vision started getting blurry. Then, I saw something. It was the same car I was in, and everyone else. I saw me checking the time and it being 5:12. Then, the train crashed into another train. Then my vision got clear and I told my mom about it, but she wouldn't listen to me. I had a feeling that this would actually happen, and I couldn't just do _nothing_, so I pulled the emergency brake to stop the train and stop the crash." My explanation came out in a rush, and I was breathing harder than before from lack of breath during my speech.

His expression seemed frozen on the patience, like he was trying hard to hold it in place. I knew he was thinking the same thing as everyone else; that I was crazy and that seeing the future was impossible, but it seemed like he was trying to understand.

It took a minute for him to speak. "Well… erm-that's interesting…" Before he could continue, another cop came into the office. He was carrying a paper, which he gave to Officer Jeffery. He skimmed it, and his eyes widened at whatever information he just read. He absently waved the other officer away, who left quickly.

"Well, Alice- you prefer Alice, right?" I nodded. "I just got back some interesting information. It looks like that whatever you saw… was actually the… future… What I'm trying to say is that we just got something back that says that the train you were on this evening and another train would, indeed, crash at exactly 5:12."

My eyes widened. It was one thing to think something and another to have it confirmed. _Now _someone would have to believe me. The evidence was right in front of them in print!

"We have to take this into serious consideration," the officer said.

"Of course," I replied nodding. This was something big that couldn't be ignored. Could I see the future again? Could it help more people? I could use this to save lives, or at least as a convenience. To me, this newly found talent was an advantage, or a gift.

The door cracked open, and the same man with the paper from before poked his head inside. "The girl's father has arrived," he stated before leaving the room.

"Alice, would you mind if I stepped out and talked to your parents for a moment?"

"No, go ahead," I replied. He rose from his chair and walked around to the door. After the soft click from the door closing, I was left alone in silence.

I wondered what Officer Jeffrey would be talking with my parents about. He'll probably tell them that the subway incident was a misunderstanding and inform them on what really happened. Before I could think further, I was interrupted by my eyes getting blurry.

It was Officer Jeffrey with my parents. His face was grave as he explained what we had just discussed. My parents' faces were masks of shock as they took in what he was saying. "We'll have to do something about it," the officer said, "get her help."

"Of course," my dad said. He looked and sounded disgusted at what he just heard. What I could do wasn't bad to him, was it? How could anyone think that someone seeing the future was bad? It could help someone! "Anything to stop whatever corrupted my daughter. What do you have in mind?"

"This seems to be in the mind, so mental help is needed, but if we let her out into society, she's bound to talk about the future. She'll most likely have to go to an asylum. Let them cure her and stop these visions." My dad nodded vigorously, but my mom hesitated. Before my hope could build up, she looked at my father and nodded, too.

"Okay," my father said. "That would work just fine."

I gasped when I came out of the vision. My parents wanted to send me away? No! I can't leave! They can't lock me up somewhere!

This conversation was probably happening right now. He didn't leave too long ago. Could I still stop them now? Well, I had to try. I shot up from my chair and yanked the door open. I sprinted down the hall while trying to navigate at the same time. I tried to remember which way everything was and where my parents and Officer Jeffrey would be.

It didn't take me long to find them speaking in hushed tones to each other. They saw me coming down the hall, breathing hard.

"Alice!" my dad yelled. "What are you doing out here? We're talking!"

"You can't send me away!" I shouted. They all stood stunned at my knowledge. "I saw it, like I did before."

"Alice, this isn't normal!" Dad protested. "You need help-"

"I don't need anything! I'm fine! Why is this so bad?"

"No one should be able to… _see _the things you do. We're going to fix it."

"NO!" I turned around and started to run for the front doors, but something snagged my waist and pulled me back. I struggled and thrashed against the snare, but it was too tight and strong. I heard my name being said to try and calm me down, but I didn't stop my fight.

The people were starting to stare at me, making my father and mother grimace, but I didn't care about what they thought right now. They wanted to send me away. I couldn't even trust my own parents anymore. They caused this, so they deserve a little embarrassment for it. I screamed louder and thrashed more. It was no use against the iron grip whoever was holding me back had.

"Get her out of here," I heard over my screams. The person holding me dragged me away, but I kept my fight up. All it did was slow him down. I was taken to Officer Jeffrey's office. He set me down on the chair, but stayed in front of me so I wouldn't escape.

"Alice, you have to _calm down,_" he said. I shook my head and tried to get past him or scoot my chair out, but he grabbed the armrests so I couldn't move.

"Alice, this is for the best," he tried to reason calmly. "This place will help you."

"I don't need _help!_" I screamed. "Why does everyone think I need help?"

"Seeing these things-"

"Could help someone," I finished. "Think about it! I could tell someone about some other train crashing and save them! Or maybe something else that could save someone!"

He seemed to consider this for a minute, but shook his head. "No. This isn't normal, Alice. This place will help you."

"No it won't!" I struggled again to get free, but like all the other times, it didn't do much.

"Alice, you're going!" My stubbornness finally broke through his calm act. He was getting frustrated now.

"I won't."

"You can't stop it. You're going, whether you like it or not."

**Shorter, but necessary. Stupid cops.** **GRRR. **

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**Got some good comments and predictions from ya. Love to hear what you think might happen, and I love doing that myself with other stories. So reviews are always lovely, and so are you people!**


	4. A Beautiful Lie

**I realized that I won't be able to post this on Wednesday, so HERE IT IS NOW! Oh, and all of my chapter titles are songs, if you want some WNAH music to go along with the chapter :D Any suggestions for songs are welcome, and sometime I'll actually put a playlist link on my profile. I'll let ya know. ON WITH IT…**

Chapter 4: A Beautiful Lie

JPOV

I groaned as my alarm clock woke me up to get ready for school. I would have to go and face the other kids at my school. Well, it didn't help me if I wasted time. Henry would make me go whether I liked it or not. He got really mad last time I skipped school, and he said he would punish me if I did it again. That was a hard thing to do; I didn't go out a whole lot, didn't watch much TV, or have anything that would really affect me if it was taken away. I still didn't want to get on his bad side; he _was _taking care of me after all. He gave up a lot for me, and behaving was the least I could do.

I got a pair of blue jeans and a T-shirt from my closet and went over to the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom. I took a quick shower and got dressed before grabbing my book bag and dumping my school books that were on my desk into it. After I grabbed my iPod and was ready to go, I went into the living room and sat on the leather couch to wait for Henry. I didn't see the point in getting a car that I was never going to drive anywhere, so I told Henry that I didn't need one, even though he was willing to buy me one. I had my license and I was a fairly decent driver, but I didn't see the point in buying a car that I would never use.

I looked around the room and saw a picture of me and my parents that was taken seven years ago; the last picture of us taken when we were all together. We were at Six Flags for mine and my twin sister Rosalie's tenth birthday. We didn't have any problems or anything to worry about then. We were together, and we were happy. Then my parents were killed. Rosalie and I had to spend three months in three different foster homes before we got split up. We tried to call each other regularly, but I guess her life was busy, and we drifted apart. I actually didn't know where my own sister was at the moment. I could only hope that she's in a nice, safe place. She deserves it for everything she's had to put up with.

"Jazz, you ready?" I heard Henry's voice from the hallway. He came out in a flannel shirt and jeans. You really didn't need to dress up to be a carpenter. Although he managed the finances, he was usually in the back working with the wood. I nodded at his question, and we grabbed our coats to go out to the parking garage.

It was a quiet ride to school. Henry saw that some time ago that I wasn't the best at keeping up a string of conversation, so I guess he just left me alone. I hoped that he didn't mind or anything.

It seemed like the time it took to get to school was a minute because of how much I didn't want to be there. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. When he drove away, I considered running to the park or something and listening to music until Henry picked me up, but he would get a phone call saying I wasn't in school and know I ditched. And, again, I needed an education. And I guess I couldn't run away from all of my problems. So, I sucked it up and walked into the building.

Most people would ignore me in the halls, but some of the jocks and guys who thought they were tough would come and beat me up a little. That forced me to blend in with the crowds so they wouldn't spot me. This was kind of hard to do because I was so tall, but I managed to go undetected while getting to my locker. Actually being _at _the locker was tricky. My plan was to be as quick as possible getting my books and getting to class.

I stayed close to a large group of people and slouched as I headed for my locker. My eyes darted around, searching for any threat to me as I hurried down the halls. Once I got to my locker, I threw my bag and books in my locker, took out the ones I would need for class, and went to my first class.

I got to my first class safely. There were only a few people in the room when I got there, so I took my seat in the back as quietly as I could so I wouldn't disturb them. I just sat and stared at the desk as I listened to the other students file in. None of them talked to me as they took their seats and got prepared for class. Some people would taunt me sometimes, but I got lucky today. Luck never lasts long here, unfortunately.

Classes went by rather quickly today. My stomach tightened when lunch came around; this seemed like the opportune moment for people to beat me up. I kept to the left wall of the hallway so I didn't get in anybody's way as I ambled to the cafeteria. When I got there, I quickened my pace out of nervous habit and went directly to a circular corner table. The food here was hardly good enough to call edible, so I skipped lunch and just ate at home after school.

I listened to music to pass the lonely hour and block out all of the voices buzzing around the room. I stared at the blue flecked tabletop as the minutes trickled by. I checked the clock frequently, but the time didn't seem to move fast enough to ease my tension. I just wanted to get back to classes, where I would be safe for the rest of the time I had to be around so many people.

Soon, there was only ten stressful minutes to endure until I could get back into the safety of my classes. I just had to lay low and not attract attention until then… easier said than done. I stared at the table and glanced at the clock in shorter intervals than before.

As I looked up at the clock again, I noticed that there was a group of guys coming my way. _Maybe they're going to talk to someone near here,_ I said to myself. But they were looking directly at me. They were coming for me. I knew that my luck would run out soon…

They were directly in front of me now. It was too late to run. They were three football players; if I did chance it and try to run, I wouldn't even get around the table before they caught me. What was worse is that it was the cafeteria today. Sometimes, they would get me when I was leaving school, but today they went with the room filled with people. It wasn't only painful, but humiliating.

The leader of their group, Terry, came around the table while the others flanked him. They were all smirking smugly. They loved taking advantage of their power, knowing that I feared them. It only added to the fun they had with torturing me. Of course I've had worse experiences…

"It's our friend Jasper," Terry said as he leaned against the table on his outstretched arm. I didn't say anything. It would only make it worse for me. I knew that from experience.

"Aw, Jasper's all alone!" Terry leaned forward so he was closer to me. I managed not to flinch back. My effort must have shown, because Terry's smug smile grew wider.

All I wanted to do was get out of there, to be anywhere but here. I wanted to close my eyes and open them again to find myself back in my bed. My bed was a safe place. The real world was much more dangerous. Some people don't see it, but I do. I see the world for what it really is. It's full of people like Terry.

"Are you scared, Jasper?" He asked. His voice had dropped to become menacing. He was trying to make this more fun and worth his while, that was obvious. And I tried not to make his little games so fun for him, but it was hard to beat back the fear. I've gotten better with practice, but I couldn't fully hide the fear from Terry good enough to give him absolutely no satisfaction.

"I asked you a question, Hale," he growled. He got a little closer to try and break me, but I resisted. If I didn't answer, he would get even angrier, but I didn't trust my voice enough to lie.

I took a chance. "No." Thankfully, my voice was steady and hard with no hint of fear. Maybe I was better at blocking my fear than I thought…

Anger at my single word reply burned in his eyes. I wasn't making the game fun for him. I knew he would try and make it entertaining. That's what Terry did; having fun at other people's expense any way he could. He would make a scene by physically hurting me, I could tell. It would make it more fun for him, more miserable for me, and make him look tough. He didn't care about getting into trouble as long as he got some fun out of causing it.

"You should be," he said dangerously. "I'm a lot stronger than you with more man power, and you're kinda pissing me off. The odds aren't in your favor." The smile that had disappeared in his anger came back with the reminder of his power.

I kept myself blank of emotion, even though I knew it wouldn't do me any good. It would probably just make everything worse for me now, but I didn't want to look weak. It was stupid, but I didn't care.

He suddenly pounded the table with the fist that was resting on it. I jumped at the loud noise, and his grin got wider with pleasure yet again. "There we go," he said. "That's more like it." I recovered from my slight shock and cleared my emotions from my mind and face again. I would prolong his satisfaction as much as I could.

His grin faltered a little bit and some of the pleasure in his eyes was replaced with annoyance. "I know you're afraid," he said. His voice started to leak his frustration.

Just to taunt him further, I smiled. "Really? You sure?" Now the grin was totally gone, and in its place was a look of pure hatred and anger. This wasn't going to be good for me… I had to think before I acted, but now it was too late for regrets.

His slammed his fist onto the table again and growled, letting his obvious frustration out. I had a strong feeling that he would continue venting that frustration by punching me in the face or something painful. He was about ready to crack and start beating me.

"You know, you're _really _pissing me off," he snarled through his clenched teeth.

"I know," I stated simply.

"That's not a smart thing to do, Hale," he said. The menace and smugness was starting to come back. I didn't really expect it to leave for long. Terry was one of those guys that you couldn't keep down for long. He would spring back and punish you for trying.

He kicked me in the stomach with so much force that my chair slid back into the wall. He walked back up to me and said, "Scared now?" I didn't answer. He took advantage of my silence and punched me in the stomach. I winced and squeezed my eyes shut. I wasn't feeling as brave as I was before…

"Answer me when I talk to you," Terry said.

He sounded so familiar. It was close to the voice eight years ago that still haunted me. It had the same cold edge to it, the same arrogance, and the same power. Terry's likeness of _him _brought back all of the painful memories I've been trying to repress for years. It was amazing how one sentence could make the past come back so vividly.

"I said answer me!"

"No!" I got up from my chair and shoved past Terry and his friends and ran as fast as I could out of the cafeteria. I ran down the hall and into the restroom. I ran into the last stall, locked the door, and got into the back corner of it. I could hear people out in the hall. Their footsteps got closer, and the door swung open.

"Jaaaaaspeeeeer," I heard Terry say. "Where'd ya run off to, Hale?"

"_Come out, come out wherever you are…"_

"You can run, but you can't hide!"

"_You can't hide from me forever!"_

It was like Terry's words were echoed with _his. _Every sentence he said made me think of the worst part of my past.

I heard the first stall burst open as someone kicked the door. "I know you're here!"

"_I know you're in here somewhere, it's only a matter of time until I find you…"_

My head started to pound with what was being said now and what had been said so long ago.

Another stall door flew open. "Getting closer! Ready to just come out?"

"_You would make everything so much easier if you just came out now…"_

The door beside my hiding place was kicked open. "Three down, one to go!"

"_I know you're in here! I've checked everywhere else!"_

The pressure in my skull kept getting worse with the chaos and memories flooding into it.

The stall door was kicked, but did not open. It was kicked again with more force, and the locked snapped, revealing my hiding place.

_The doorknob of the closet- my hiding place- turned slowly. The door opened just as slow. He was trying to build suspense, make this whole thing scarier for me than it was already. I shoved myself farther into the corner of the closet and silently prayed that he wouldn't find me. But he did. I could never escape him._

"There you are!" Terry shouted. "We've been looking everywhere!" Terry's two friends grabbed me by the arms and yanked me from the stall. I struggled violently, but they were too strong for me. The headache that I still had was steadily getting worse and turning into a full-on migraine.

"So…" Terry began while cracking his knuckles, "you thought that you would get away that easily? Well, think again." He cracked his neck loudly and started walking towards me. I grunted and thrashed, still trying to escape. I knew that it wouldn't do much for me now; if I did manage to escape the guys' grasps, Terry wouldn't let me run out again.

Terry pulled his arm back with his hand in a fist and let it spring back to punch me hard in the face. I felt blood immediately trickle in a thick, sticky stream from my nose. I clamped my mouth shut so the blood didn't flow into it. Before I could react he hit me again in the stomach and repeated once, twice, three times…

My head was unbearably painful now. I could barely feel the pain of Terry's blows from the pounding inside my brain, but each punch made the migraine worse and worse. Suddenly, it felt like my brain burst. The headache retreated in the explosion, but the full force of the pain from Terry came rushing to me. I kept my eyes closed tightly, trying to push the aching in my body away. It didn't work very well.

The hitting stopped. I opened my eyes to see Terry standing back and smirking at my crumpled form. His friends let me go, and I fell to the floor, breathing hard.

"Are you gonna run away again?" Terry asked. I was still trying to regain normal breathing, so I didn't answer him. He stepped forward and kicked me in the stomach. The breath I was trying hard to keep in whooshed out of my lungs. "Are you gonna run away again?" Terry repeated, louder and demanding. I had my eyes closed again, and I shook my head, trying again to breathe normally. "Good." His voice went back to being calm and smug. "That's what I thought."

Before any more damage could be done to me, the bell rang. "Shit," one of Terry's friends muttered, "I can't be late again. Let's get out of here."

"Fine," Terry said airily with a nod. "Let's go." His friends stepped around me and they left the bathroom, where I was still crumpled on the floor.

I kept my eyes closed and took steady, deep breaths. The parts of my body where I was hit throbbed painfully, and my stomach pricked with pain whenever I inhaled. Blood still streamed down my face. After I was pretty sure that I was steady enough to stand, I opened my eyes, about to get up, when I froze. It was him.

He looked the exact same as he did so many years ago. His sandy hair was untidy, his simple jeans and t-shirt wrinkled but clean, and his eyes were the same hard, flat brown. He was smirking down at me, enjoying my pain. My heart was beating fast in my chest. He would surely kill me this time. Had he gotten Rosalie? My heart hammered away against my chest. Would I meet the same fate as her if he did? Most likely.

I was tensed for what I thought would come instantly: the dragged out pain before my death. No such suffering came. He just stared. He didn't move. He seemed to be carved out of a lifelike stone that was turned to face me.

Slowly, hesitantly, I got up from my kneeling position on the floor, still ready for him to strike. His eyes held mine, the only part of his body that moved, and then they were as immobile as the rest of him was.

I just stood there, completely baffled. Why was he here if he was just going to stare at me? Was he psyching me out; would he get me to relax and get me while my defenses were down? Wait, _how _was he here? He should be in jail, far away from here. If he had gotten out of prison, I probably would have heard about it and he would be on the run, which means keeping a low profile. Escaped convicts on the run that are trying to keep a low profile don't waltz into a very public place like a school, especially to just stare at someone. If they were out in the open, they would be doing crime, and in this case, he would be killing one of the few people who had escaped him.

The only way I was going to get answers is to ask for them. Once I felt that I could speak clearly and coherently, I asked the simple question, "Why are you here?"

I might have been expecting his steely silence to go on just to agitate me. I might have expected him pull out some weapon and kill me, or at least start beating me. What I didn't expect was, "I'm not."

If he wanted to confuse me further instead of getting to what he came for, it worked pretty well. _'I'm not'_? What does that mean? He was standing right in front of me! He just spoke to me! Of course he was here!

"Well, it looks like you are," I retorted. All he did for a reply this time was shake his head slowly. Again, if he was trying to confuse me, it worked.

I closed my eyes and sighed. This was getting nowhere. I opened my eyes and intended to get some decent information out of him. My mouth opened, but the question I was about to ask got stuck, and my mouth closed again.

He had disappeared.

Bewildered by his sudden absence, I whirled around, halfway expecting him to be behind me, but he wasn't. I turned back around. Still wasn't there. I even checked all of the stalls. Nothing.

Had I simply imagined him? Had Terry given me head trauma? Was I in shock? I could rule the shock theory out; getting beat up was no new thing that would shake me up like this. The only plausible theory at the moment was head trauma, but I wasn't hit in the head a lot…

Well, he was gone, and I was late for class, so I might as well just forget about it and go to class. Henry will hate it if I skipped again, and I really didn't want to disappoint him. He'll probably just blame himself and say that he wasn't good enough to take care of me. I didn't want him feeling bad, especially after how much he's helped me.

I went over to the mirror and looked back at my reflection. There was blood all over my face and bruises were forming where I had been hit. I ran the cold water and splashed and rubbed my face to get all of the blood off. I dried off with a paper towel and made sure my nose had stopped bleeding. When I saw that it had, I walked out of the bathroom.

The hallways were deserted and eerily quiet. I hurried to my class, not wanting to be any later than I already was and to escape the silence of the empty halls.

Just as I thought, when I opened the door, everyone glanced in my direction and then looked back to the front of the room, lacking interest. Mr. Kirk had stopped mid-sentence to glare at me for the interruption.

"Nice of you to join us Mr. Hale," he said, obviously irritated. I kept my eyes on the floor and got to my seat. This was the only class where I sat in the front, because Mr. Kirk hated me. He slid a pink tardy slip onto my desk and continued with the lesson.

I endured the rest of the school day and left as soon as I could when the final bell rang. Even though I said that I would forget about it, seeing the man who ruined my lifewouldn't stop nagging me for long. The question that lingered on my mind was why and how he had come. I couldn't come up with the answer, no matter how hard I thought. Eventually, I gave up. I guess that it was just some mystery that I wouldn't figure out.

I waited for Henry outside for about five minutes before his car swerved around the corner. I got in the front seat and he drove us back to our apartment. I turned my head away from him and towards the window so he wouldn't see the dark patches blossoming on my skin. He either didn't notice or he didn't ask; it's not like he didn't care if it was the latter. He was used to me coming home with bruises and cuts. I always told him not to worry and that it doesn't hurt very much, so he didn't ask anymore. I preferred it that way, although I'm not sure if he did.

When we got back to the apartment, I went straight to my room after grabbing a piece of fruit out of the bowl on the counter, as always. I went to the desk in the corner and started on my homework. The only challenge with homework was math. I did the problems and checked my work, but the answers would always turn out to be wrong and I would have to redo it until I eventually got them right. I got easily frustrated with it.

Multiple times, I would glance in the mirror that hung on the wall, and I could have sworn that I saw a dark figure in the reflection. But I never got a good look, and decided that it was just stress that had me imagining things. I wasn't one hundred percent convinced, but I didn't want to think of any other option. I had a feeling that none of the other things I would come up with would be better. The denial was better than facing the truth.

I eventually gave up on the math homework and got it done without checking the answers. It was only 6:00, but I was already tired. I got ready for bed, and when I was in it, fell asleep instantly.

**Good? Bad? Stupid? Awesome? But the big question: Worth continuing? If you read the whole thing and thought, "This is CRAP in a SACK," then tell me. Seriously. I'm not gonna post something that no one likes. But don't go totally flame crazy. Let me down easy and give me some constructive criticism. Thanks.**

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	5. Misguided Ghosts

**Happy beginning of da week!**

Chapter 5: Misguided Ghosts

APOV

It was just a building standing in front of me. There was no dark cold stone, no storm clouds, nothing at all menacing like I've seen in movies and read in books. It had no scary qualities to it at all. I shouldn't be shaking or blinking back tears by just looking at the place, but I knew what was inside of it. What was inside of the building was the thing that terrified me to no end. It caused the unshed tears and the uncontrollable trembling. This is where I would be sentenced to for an unknown amount of time.

My mother and father walked on both sides of me. My dad had his hand on my back and was pushing me along towards the front door. Mom had her hands clasped together and her lips pursed, but didn't protest for my freedom. I say freedom because I wouldn't be free in this place. I would be a prisoner, a guinea pig for the people there to test.

I cried and begged and pleaded for my parents to let me stay home and go to school and lead a normal, free life, but, "This will be good for you and your health," my dad had claimed. And whatever he says, my mother just nods and goes right along with it. My dad's word is law, and my mom is just a peasant that follows along with any law and order given. I'm not even sure if she had a mind of her own anymore.

Cynthia was just as upset about this as I was. She begged along with me for me to stay at home, but apparently the sight of both of his daughters on their hands and knees sobbing didn't sway my father. He kept a straight face and said that his decision was final. I was going.

I let out a tiny whimper as we entered St. Claire's Mental Health Hospital. This must have been heard, because my dad closed his hand around my arm. He must have thought that I was thinking of making a run for it. He was right. He also knew that I was a fairly fast runner, so if I got away, it would be hard to catch me, and even harder to find me if I hid. He didn't want to take any chances.

We walked up to the half-circle desk where the female receptionist was talking on the phone. She finished her call, hung up the phone, and looked up to us. "How may I help you?" she asked pleasantly. I just stared at the floor as my dad did all the talking. I peeked over at my mother. She had the same posture as me; eyes on the floor, head hung. But she had a guilty expression on her face. Serves her right.

The sudden appearance of a 20-or-so-aged man dressed in a light blue uniform made me jump. He smiled in a way that was probably meant to comfort someone and make them feel at home. It didn't work for me. He introduced himself as Martin in a cheery way. How could someone stand to work in a place like this and still play along with that act? To see people like me every day, trapped in here, and still smile all the time? Maybe it was just with the new patients so they wouldn't freak out or anything. Only time will tell.

He took us down a hallway that led off to the patients' rooms, as I was told with a friendly smile. As we ventured towards the end of the hall, I peeked into the windows of some rooms. I could see a small single bed in each room pushed up against the wall with a trunk at the foot of it. The bed and what I could see of the rooms was white. At least they weren't padded cells like I thought they would be… but nothing was going how I thought it would be.

Martin opened the second to last door on the end of the right side of the hall. White walls, white bed covers, wooden trunk, and I also noticed that there was a small closet opposite the bed and another door to what I would have to guess the bathroom. The doors were the same shade of brown as the trunk. I frowned at the bland room. This is where I would have to stay for an unknown amount of time. Great.

"So, this is your room," Martin said. "There are some clothes already in the closet, a set for each day of the week, and laundry's picked up on Saturdays. The trunk," he gestured towards the small brown chest, "is for some personal belongings that you may want to keep with you, but there are some rules for what you can keep in them. And that's about all you have to know about your room. Let me show you around a bit more."

We left the room and went back down the hall. "The common room is right here," he said as he pointed to the open area with couches, a television, and tables surrounded by plastic chairs just across from the receptionist's desk. "And the doors right here lead to the cafeteria," he informed us as he pointed to a set of double doors that weren't too far from the common room. "Down the hall at that door is Mrs. Stevens' room; she's the therapist that you'll have private sessions with."

Oh great. A shrink. But what did I really expect, to just sit in a padded white room? I'm here because I "need help." How else would I really get help? The fact that I would be seeing a therapist was still, unfortunately, a shock to me. I had a feeling that this wasn't going to be fun.

We then went back to my room with the small bag my father got from the car. My parents were filled in about what I could bring and what wasn't allowed beforehand and my mother packed my bag for me. I moved my stuff into the chest at the end of the bed and promptly ignored my parents' talking. Mom was sugarcoating this place, saying that it wasn't so bad and that they would visit often. My dad's comments, on the other hand, cancelled out any better feelings my mom might have given me. He said things like, "It's the only way you can be normal, these people will fix you, you can come home once you're better." It made me feel like something was seriously wrong with me.

They were leaving all too soon. Dad made an excuse about having to get back to Cynthia because we had left her alone at the house, but I knew that he was well aware that a responsible thirteen-year-old could stay alone by herself for a few hours. Nevertheless, I said goodbye to them, and after a lingering moment before Mom left the room to give me a guilty glance, they were gone.

Sitting on my bed alone, I didn't know what to do. I got off of the edge of the bed and went to the open door. I peeked out and looked around for someone who could help me. Martin saw my confused face fro down the hall and walked over to me.

"Why don't you go to the commons, maybe get to know some people better?" He sounded like he was talking to a child. It annoyed me, but I bit my tongue and left the room to go to the commons. Once I was there, though, I paused. There weren't many people seated on the sofas or around the tables; just a few groups of twos and threes talking amongst themselves. They didn't seem to notice me standing there, or else they were ignoring me.

I was starting to remember teen movies about how the nervous new kid in the lunch room was uncertain of where she would be welcome to sit. The other thing that gave me chick flick flashbacks was the one kid in the back corner table of the room. She had short, mousy hair and childlike features. She didn't look much older than Cynthia, actually, but this girl was also so different. She was strikingly pale with wide blue eyes that were out of focus. She was like a ghost; she didn't seem to notice anything in the outside world, and the world didn't seem to notice her.

I drifted over to the corner table where the ghostly girl sat. She didn't seem to notice me until I slid into a chair beside her. Her eyes regained focus and then turned to look at me curiously with her big eyes.

"Hi," I said brightly. "I'm Mary Alice, but people call me Alice."

She blinked. "Hi," she said in a small voice. "I'm Rachel." Even her smile was barely there. Ghostly. She looked back down at her pale slender fingers that rested on the table and didn't say anything else.

"So… don't you get lonely, sitting here all by yourself?" I had a feeling that she was alone often.

"Not really," she replied, glancing back up at me. "It's… peaceful. I'm use to being alone. I don't really like loud noises much." Her eyes went back to her fingers.

"I understand… kinda. I'm usually around a lot of people, and it's nice when I have down time." She peeked up at me, but then back down. She seemed lost in thought, so I kept quiet to let her think. Finally, she spoke.

"Why are you talking to me?" She didn't say this rudely; I didn't think that she could say anything rudely. It was pure curiosity.

"You kinda remind me of my sister," I said. "With age, I mean. You look about her age."

"I'm thirteen," she said.

"Cynthia's thirteen," I said with a nod. I was about to say something when I took in her response. "You're only thirteen and you're stuck in here?"

She frowned. "Yeah," she answered sadly. "My parents made me come."

"Mine did, too," I said. "Well, my dad did. My mom just goes along with anything he says, really. It's like she doesn't have a mind of her own anymore." She nodded sympathetically. "What really bothers me," I continued, "is that my father kept saying things to me that made me feel like a burden, like I was broken or something."

"Not broken," Rachel contradicted quietly. "Just different. Misunderstood."

I thought about her statement. It made me feel a little bit better, but I couldn't say that I agreed with her about only being "different." But yes, I was definitely misunderstood.

After that, we started talking about the hospital. Rachel filled me in on what went on here at what times, just so I could be prepared. I would have to start therapy tomorrow, which I was dreading. On Wednesdays, there was group therapy, which sounded even worse because then I would have to tell people about what I could do.

We had to go back to our rooms at 8:00. I said goodbye to Rachel and went down the hall to my plain room. I really did like Rachel and truly wanted to talk to her again tomorrow. She wasn't much for talking, but she was a great listener and I would never have guessed that this girl was only thirteen by the advice she gave me.

Since I wasn't tired enough to go to bed yet, I got out a book to read to pass the time. Reading always took me away from my problems when it was a really good book. It worked; for an hour I all but forgot where I was and about my parents. But once I was ready to get to bed, I was launched back into the real world. I grabbed my toiletries and pajamas, got ready for bed, and crawled into bed. Finally, after a long day, I was able to just cry it all out before I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

**Gooooooood? Love how some people were outraged when I asked if the last chapter was bad. Thanks, guys :D**

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	6. Psycho

**Hello my lovelies. I give you *dramatic pause* Chapter 6. I've noticed that JPOVs aren't the most exciting thing ever, but don't worry, they'll pick up soon :D**

Chapter 6: Psycho

JPOV

With such a normal morning, I figured that the day would be the same as any other. I would go through my classes with as little trouble as possible, and get out as soon as I could to go home, the only safe place there is for me. But life had another surprise planned for me.

I managed to get to my locker for my books and then to my first class without incident. I breathed the normal sigh of relief once I got to my seat. Once the bell rang, the teacher quickly took attendance and started the lesson. This would all happen any other day. Nothing unexpected popped up in class.

I made it through first period and moved on to second. Unfortunately, I had Math second period. I'm usually not in the mood to solve equations while I'm just fully waking up. It didn't help my Math grade much, either, but I tried my best.

That wasn't good enough this morning. We were going over so many confusing problems at a time that I got frustrated. I tugged at my hair as I wrote as fast as I could while still making my handwriting legible. I felt like I was about to snap…

And that's when he came back.

The man who murdered my parents was standing in the corner of the room, staring at me. My hand froze over my careful notes and my eyes locked on the dark figure. He was still wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and he was still smirking at me.

He couldn't have really been there in the room. Someone would have noticed him just standing there. He wouldn't have even come here anyway. I was just stressed. I wasn't getting enough sleep. Or maybe…

No. Nothing was wrong with me. Just stress and lack of sleep. Going home and getting as much sleep as possible in between the nightmares would do me good, and he would go away. Simple as that.

When class was over, he stayed in his corner while students filed out of the room. He was right by the door, so I would have to go right past him in order to leave. I gathered up my books and held my breath as I walked out the door. The only part of him that moved was his menacing eyes.

Throughout the rest of the day, I saw him whenever I got frustrated or angry. I was left alone by Terry at Lunch, as well as Jonathan, but the peace didn't last long. I got stressed out, and Jonathan returned.

By the time Henry picked me up from school, I was exhausted. Henry didn't ask about it, but I was pretty sure that he noticed. We headed home in silence.

I knew that I should tell Henry about seeing Jonathan. Maybe it would make me feel better and help me deal with it. I was about to tell him, but I stopped before I could say anything. I was reluctant to tell him because I was afraid that he would think something was wrong with me, but then again I knew Henry, and he would never do that. He would try to understand. I argued both of these points and options back and forth in my head for the whole ride back.

I went straight to my room once we got back to the apartment. I was going to tell him then, but I had retreated to the confines of my room like a coward before I could make myself say anything. I sighed and started on my homework.

I couldn't concentrate on the work in front of me. The battle of whether to tell Henry or not about my dilemma raged on in my head so it drowned out my other thoughts. I managed to finish my homework, and then I moved over to my bed. I just laid there and stared up at the ceiling, thinking. Jonathan probably wouldn't go away any time soon. I would have to face that fact. Now that I knew that bit of information, I had to come up with a way to fix it.

The problem with fixing it is that, well, I didn't know how. You didn't learn this sort of thing in school, and Henry couldn't tell me what to do without me telling him about it. I guess the only thing to do was tell him, no matter how much I dreaded it. I would rather not let anyone know, but if there's a chance I could get this fixed, then it was a sacrifice I had to make.

My biggest fear was that he would judge me. I've been down that road before, and I didn't like it at all. No one did. But I trusted Henry. He was considerate and he was the kind of guy that would hear you out before springing into action. He's a good guy, and I just had to trust in him that he could help me out.

I got up from my bed and walked out of my room. I found Henry sitting on the couch watching TV. He seemed surprised to see me out of my room, but he didn't say anything. "Uh, can I talk to you?" This seemed to surprise him even more, but he grabbed the remote to turn off the TV and patted the black leather, inviting me to sit with him.

I stared down at the floor as I thought of how to approach this. When I found a good way to start, I said, "I kind of have a… problem, and I don't know what to do." I looked up, and he looked at me expectantly as if to tell me to go on and that he was listening. "Well, I don't really know how to explain it, but when I get frustrated or mad, I see… Jonathan. Jonathan Streck."

Shock flew across his face. Before Henry took me in, a social worker told him all about Jonathan Streck and what he did to me and my family. He looked down at the floor and was silent as he thought about what I had said. After a moment of intense thought, he nodded and simply said, "I see," without looking up at me.

"So what do I do?"

He straightened up from his former slouch and thought for another moment. "I don't know," he finally answered. "I'll try to think of something. Just try not to worry about it too much."

He finally looked me in the eye. His eyes were thoughtful, but they also looked worried. I was glad to see no judgment or accusations. He stood up and gripped my shoulder reassuringly. "I'm glad you told me, Jasper," he said before letting go and walking slowly back to his room. In his absence, I decided to retreat to my own room.

I laid back on my bed again. He told me not to worry about it, but was it all really that easy? How many times would I see Jonathan again? How many times could I _stand _seeing him? It was hard repeatedly seeing the man who ripped your entire family apart.

It seemed like he only showed up when I was mad or frustrated. Well, I would just have to stay calm, and he would leave me alone. I knew that this was another thing that would be harder than it sounded. Keeping my temper in check wasn't one of my strong points, if I even _have _a strong point. It was strange that I didn't even know most of my strengths and weaknesses. I guess people need some actual life experience to know much about themselves.

Of course I had_ some _life experiences and I knew _some _things about myself, but a lot of self knowledge came from being a part of the world. I felt like I was detached somewhat, as if I lived in my own separate world. My world was in a constant moonless night; dark, cold, lonely, and still. There was no comforting, warm embrace of the sun to chase away the darkness and the chill, no one there to keep me company. I wasn't entirely sure that, if someone wanted to reach out to me and try to free me from the place I've condemned myself to, that I would be able to let them in. I would have to know that I could trust this person.

Since it was a reasonable time to go to bed and I had nothing else to do, I brushed my teeth and changed into sweats and a T-shirt and crawled into bed. My worries about my problem spun around in my head and prolonged my sleep, but eventually I was tired enough to drift into yet another uneasy sleep.

**Likies? People, I'm actually proofreading these. I NEVER do that. I'm proud of myself :D**

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	7. Pressure

**Why hello. Oh, just something I wanna throw out there: I'm having a hard time getting the right songs for some chapter titles, so maybe you could send some band/song suggestions my way? I know you don't really know what's gonna happen next, but just tell me some stuff ya like and I'll see if it fits. Thank ya, lovelies. **

Chapter 7: Pressure

APOV

I fidgeted on the black leather sofa as Mrs. Stevens sat across from me on a matching chair. All she did was watch me in a patient, still silence. An awkward silence for me, but it didn't seem like she was feeling the same. She looked cool and businesslike, with a crisp white dress shirt under a suit jacket and pencil skirt; her reddish brown hair was also pulled back into a neat bun. An official-looking notepad was perched on her knee.

"Alice," she said softly and motherly, "I know that you don't want to be here, but it would be best for you if you would talk. Let your feelings out. I'm listening."

I kept my mouth firmly shut. It's been almost a half hour into my therapy session, and I had yet to utter a word to Mrs. Stevens. I was surprised that I held on for this long; I would talk all the time to anyone who would listen and try to get people's attention if they weren't. I guess the difference was that I _wanted _to talk to them. I made an effort with them. I didn't want to make an effort or talk to the unnaturally tolerant woman in front of me. I bet she didn't even care about what I had to say; she would act like she wanted to help me, but really she was just probably in it for the money.

My stubborn silence continued. Her patience didn't seem to waver in the slightest. It must have been lots of practice that made her so good at keeping calm like that. I would be amazed if she didn't get a little frustrated in the remaining half hour we had left to endure.

Ten more minutes past, and I still didn't speak. In a smooth voice free of any hidden exasperation, she said, "We're not going to make any progress if you don't speak to me." I kept my arms firmly crossed over my chest and my mouth closed. "If I can't help you, then you will probably have to stay here even longer."

That got me. I didn't want to crack, but was the stubborn silence worth the lengthened time I might have to stay? I thought it over and weighed the outcomes in my head. If I talked, then I could get out of here. The sooner the better. But what if talking did absolutely nothing to help me? I didn't really see how it would if I didn't even want to talk to her.

I still didn't think that I needed help, but apparently my opinion in the matter meant nothing. This whole thing was about me and my "problem," but I had no say in it; it wasn't fair.

I might as well get out of here as soon as possible. I thought of something to say, but it never came out. I tried again and again, but my reluctance stopped me every time.

I knew what the problem was. I didn't trust her. My parents' betrayal took away a lot of trust for people that I had. If my own parents would do something like that, then why would I trust a stranger with my thoughts and secrets?

I wouldn't. My silence explained that. She probably knew that, too. She was probably told all about what's happened, just in case I wouldn't talk. They were one step ahead of me.

Only ten minutes were left in the session now. Ten more minutes to hang on.

Mrs. Stevens picked up her pen and scribbled something onto the paper. My curiosity instantly flared. It had to be about me. What was she writing about me on that notepad? I had to ask her. What trust would I have to put into that? It was a harmless question.

"What are you writing about me?" Even though I tried not to, the question came out a little rudely.

She looked up from her notes to look at me and smile. I just stared at her and waited for an answer. "I'm writing about you're reluctance to speak." I sat back again when I knew that she wouldn't say anything else about it.

"Well, it looks like our session is over. You can go now." I looked up at the clock to see only another few minutes have passed, but I guess she saw that this wasn't going anywhere and let me out early. I leapt up from the leather couch and left the room.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked down the hall and away from Mrs. Stevens' room. Well THAT was awkward… but I was free at last. Well, as free as I could get.

I peeked into the common room and saw Rachel sitting by herself at the same table as yesterday. I crossed the room to her and sat down. She noticed me this time without me speaking and she smiled one of her tiny ghost smiles.

"Hey!" I greeted her cheerfully. It was nice to actually talk because I wanted to. She said a quiet "hello" back. I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "I had my first therapy session today."

She gave me a sympathetic look. "How was it?" I used that line to get me launched into a detailed retelling of the hour with Mrs. Stevens. Rachel nodded at appropriate intervals throughout my rant.

Once I was clearly done, Rachel said, "I know how you feel. I didn't talk to her in my first sessions, so I have another therapist now. I guess he's supposed to be better. I talk a little with him, but I still don't think it helps."

"I know. Who are these people, thinking that they know _everything _about _everyone _just because they have some fancy college degree?" Rachel smiled at that. "But… what Mrs. Stevens said made me think, about how talking will help get me out of here faster. I know that's all I want, but I guess I don't…"

"Trust her," Rachel finished for me. It wasn't a question, but a direct answer to my hanging statement. I could tell by her face that she understood completely and felt the same way. "Why would anyone trust a stranger?"

I chuckled dryly. "I remember that whole "stranger danger" speech my parents had given me, but now they leave me alone in a place full of them. I could say that they think I'm mature enough to handle it, but sometimes they treat me like a kid too much for me to think of that as the reason."

"I guess they decided that sending you here with strangers was a better choice than facing it themselves." She said this so quietly that I almost didn't hear it. I could tell that's what she thought her parents did to her from her voice. They probably did, too… but I wouldn't know, really. I haven't seen her do anything that would be blaringly obvious as to why she's here. I was curious about it, but it could be something that she didn't want to talk about, so I didn't want to force it out of her.

"I think that the only people who can help other with their "problems" are people who've been through it themselves," I said. Rachel smiled sadly and nodded.

"Well, they could have, I guess," I thought out loud. "Maybe that's why they chose this job in the first place; to help people like themselves… I don't know. I could be thinking into it too much…" Rachel smiled at my theories.

"The only way to find that out is to ask," she said. Something on the other side of the room caught her attention. I followed her gaze to see a smiling woman in a staff uniform. "I have to go," she sighed. "I'll see you later."

"Bye!" Rachel crossed the room and turned the corner. Once she was gone, I took notice of my loneliness. I decided to go back to my room, seeing as there wasn't anything else I could really do. The TV didn't hold my interest and I didn't really feel up to getting to know any new people. Usually, that wasn't the case, but considering where I am…

I got out of my chair and left the now vacated table to walk down the hallway towards my room. I avoided direct eye contact with anyone else in the hall as I ducked into my bland and plain room. It wasn't the place I would want to be to get away from stress, but it was all that I had. That thought made my throat tight and I found myself blinking back tears.

I jumped onto my bed and tried to pull myself together. There was no use dwelling on what couldn't be undone. The decision was made, and all I could do was live with it. Although, I did have my alternative: Get the help I "needed" and get out.

But was I willing?

I really didn't want to break down and admit that I needed help from Mrs. Stevens. I still didn't think that what I could do needed some kind of treatment like it was a disease. I REALLY didn't think that it was something that I needed sent away for. But if I played along and talked in therapy a little, then I could get out of here, be reunited with my family, and live a normal life again.

My decision was made. I would have to swallow my pride and opinions and do what I had to do to get out.

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**Remember people: Send in some bands or songs if you feel like it. Hopefully it will help me with some chapter titles. Might as well not suggest Paramore, because I looked at all of their songs already :D Ta ta, my loves.**


	8. How to Save a Life

**Thanks for the band suggestions. Chapter Nine was bothering me title-wise, but I got one, and some other bands to look at for the future.**

Chapter 8: How to Save a Life

JPOV

The first thing I did when I woke up was groan and slap my alarm clock. My body ached and throbbed, instantly reminding me of the previous disaster. Now I would have to go back there. The only time Tuesdays are the worst day of the week is when you screw up Monday.

Groaning again, I swung my legs over the bed with a wince and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. Another bad night. I stood up and stumbled to my closet to get some clothes. After getting jeans and a T-shirt, I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower, got dressed, combed my hair, and brushed my teeth.

I jumped a little when I left the bathroom and saw the door open. Henry was standing there with his head poked in, probably looking for me. He didn't look much different from last night, if not more worried. He was wearing his usual attire of a flannel shirt, jeans, and work boots.

"I'm almost ready to go," I said, pulling out my black tennis shoes.

"You're not going to school today." I stared at him curiously, but he cast his eyes to the floor. I started getting anxious.

"Then where are we going then?" He finally looked up at me. He seemed guilty…

"Just follow me." I was reluctant because of how he was acting, but I trusted him nevertheless. We grabbed our coats and went to the parking garage. He started the car, but instead of the usual smile crossing his face as he sped onto the road way over the speed limit, his mouth stayed at a grim line and he kept at a reasonable speed. My earlier suspicions were confirmed: Something's wrong.

We took an entirely different route than going to school or his work. All of the buildings were unfamiliar as they flew by the window. They gave no clues as to where I was going, and that aggravated me. My curiosity grew stronger as the silent time stretched on.

Traffic became thinner as we went on, even though people would be going to work at this time. Again, not a helpful clue. All I could do was stare out the window and wait for us to get to whatever location we were headed for. Actually, I could use a nap. I slumped down in my seat and closed my eyes to try and get some rest.

The next thing I knew, I was being shaken awake by Henry. I jerked and opened my eyes. He looked even more worried now. I peered curiously out the windshield thinking my questions would be answered, but it was the back wall to a large building. No help there. I unbuckled and opened the car door. The sooner I got inside, the sooner I would know what was going on.

Even though I was in a hurry, my feet dragged against the pavement. I was tired and wishing for more sleep. Henry was tense and rather close beside me, often peering sideways. I had a bad feeling that his strange behavior was about what I had told him last night. Was that why we were here? What would this place have to do with what I had told him?

I wanted to ask him where we were and why we were here, but I had a feeling that he wouldn't answer me. My stomach got tight. I also had a feeling that I wouldn't like what I would find inside.

We were at the door. Henry opened it for me. I hesitated outside and tried to make eye contact with him, try and get some answers, but he averted his eyes to anywhere but mine. I fought back a sigh and stepped inside the mysterious building.

Henry walked behind me into an open area. There was a reception desk that formed a half circle against a wall, and people in light and dark blue uniforms were walking around, doing different things. It looked like a hospital, but why would we be in a hospital?

And then it clicked. Henry _was _guilty, like I thought. He was acting strange and grim. This is no ordinary hospital.

I had stopped walking when the realization on it hit me. Henry was beside me now. "Jasper?" I looked at him. The guilt was plain on his face and in his eyes.

I shook my head. "Henry, why are we here?" I knew the answer, but there was still a glimmer of hope that he would say something other than what I was expecting. But he didn't.

"Jasper, I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't know what to do. When you told me, I panicked. I wasn't prepared for this! I knew in the beginning, but I didn't know that it was this bad! Please, try to understand why-"

"No…" I shook my head some more. "No! I can't be here! You can't leave me here!"

"Jasper, what else was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know!" Several people looked my way as my voice rose from the quiet tones I was using before. "I don't know what, but not this! I want to leave." I turned around to the door, but Henry caught me by the arm.

"Jasper, you can't leave. This will help you, trust me."

"I _did _trust you! I told you something, hoping that you would try to understand, try to help me, but not like this!" I wrenched my arm from his grip and stormed toward the door, but he stood in my way and held me back. I tried to get around him, but he matched my step. I tried blowing past him, but he grabbed me again.

"Let go of me!"

"This'll be the best thing for you! Please, just trust me on this!"

"NO! I can't!" Suddenly, I was being pulled back and away from Henry. Two men in light blue had grabbed each of my arms. I thrashed around to try and escape, but their hold on me was too strong. Henry rubbed a hand over his face, a habit of his when he's stressed.

Unexpected anger flared up in me. Why would he let me be carried away? Why would he stand there and do nothing? Why would he take me here in the first place? I never got angry at Henry, but I felt so betrayed that it took control.

They continued to pull me away as I struggled to break free. My rage made me stronger, and I managed to escape their grips. I stumbled, though, and they grabbed me again.

There was a sudden stinging in my neck. My vision started getting blurry, and I was tired. My struggling ceased as the fatigue crept through me. The men easily pulled me out of the main area and into a hallway. The shocked and curious faces of bystanders and the figures and shapes of where I was blurred in and out of focus as I was dragged away.

The last thing that I managed to see was Jonathan Streck, grinning triumphantly, like my weaknesses were victories for him. I could hear his distant, haunting laugh as I blacked out.

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**Hey, any of you people watch So You Think You Can Dance? A guy on there went to my school. That's BIG, because I live in a village. Too small to be a town, so it's a village. I thought I would say that, because it excites my soul. So yeah. Bye now.**


	9. Something to Believe In

… **Hi. Not much to say pre-chapter… hmm… I COULD shut up, but yeah, it's me. Anyone read ****The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner****? I've read about the first half, and it's pretty good so far. So yeah, somethin' to check out, if ya need a new book. Here's something to read in the mean time.**

Chapter 9: Something to Believe In

APOV

I laid on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. I just wasn't in the mood to read, and I had nothing else to do. The round clock high up on the white wall said that the time was about 7:45 in the morning. I would be heading to school right now, if I were still free. I tried to enjoy nothing to do, relish in the downtime that was always rare for me, but I found myself missing the familiar buzz of the school hallways that always greets me in the mornings.

It was silent in my room. Usually I couldn't deal with silence; I was always somewhere with noise and sound and action, back when everything was fine and normal in my life. The silence that I was wrapped in now was peaceful. Just zoning out and staring at the plain ceiling helped me forget where I was and what had happened to get me here.

The peaceful silence was pierced with a muffled voice well outside my door. Someone was yelling. Curiosity got the best of me as I hopped off of my bed and slowly opened the door to poke my head out.

With my room branching off of the reception area, I had a good view of what was going on in the lobby. There were two men that stuck out because of their dark street clothes that sharply contrasted the varying shades of white of the building. One of the men, a tall blonde with his back to me, was shouting and trying to push past the one with brown hair while the brunette spoke calmer words to him. Whatever he was saying didn't work, because the man only shouted some more in reply.

Two of the men who worked here, one I remember being Martin, grabbed the tall blonde by the arms and pulled him away from the other man and tried to take him away. He tried kicking and struggling to get away from the men holding him back, but their combined strength was no match for him.

The man with brown hair rubbed a hand over his face. He looked stressed and sorry. I couldn't help but to think of my father's stern face as he left me here and ignored my pleas to stay at home. At least this man looked truly sorry for what he was doing.

The orderly who was helping Martin pulled something out of his pocket and stabbed the man in the neck with it. He pulled the object, a syringe, out again and put it back into his pocket. The man they were restraining jerked weakly and sagged.

Martin and the other man turned the blonde and started to lead him away. I could see the man's face, only to see that he was more of a boy than a man. Something about him struck me as familiar. I looked back at his stressed companion, who I guessed was his father now, seeing that there was a distinct age difference. Then I remembered where I had seen both of them; on the subway the day I pulled the emergency brake.

The blonde looked perfectly normal when I had seen him last. On the other hand, did I look like there was something wrong with me? I hoped not. More curiosity was sparked. Why was he here?

After the boy was taken away, his dad shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. The receptionist came up to him from behind her desk and said something to him. He straightened up, hesitated at what she had said, and nodded. She went back to her seat and he stood in front of the desk, probably to fill out some kind of paperwork.

I felt bad for the kid who just came here. He would go through the same thing I was. He would be the next victim to these people here who would try to break him down. No one deserved that. The therapists can say that they're trying to help, but sometimes I'm not so sure.

I glanced at the clock before wandering out of my room. I only had five minutes until my therapy session at eight. I cautiously made my way down the hall, even though I didn't think that there would be any more drama in the middle of the lobby today. Hey, you never know.

Once I was in front of the door, it opened up to let another patient out. A boy with dyed black hair that got into his hard eyes and an angry expression walked away and down the hall. Mrs. Stevens smiled at me and waved me inside. I didn't smile back as I entered the room and sat down where I was last time I was here. She didn't look phased by my cold response as she took her seat.

She picked up her paper and pen. "So, Alice," she began, "have you thought about what I said in our last session?"

"Yeah," I replied somewhat cautiously. Just because I was talking didn't mean that I wanted to.

"Are you going to be a little more cooperative this time around?"

"Yes," I said curtly. I was getting a little irritated at her now; I couldn't help but get the feeling that she was secretly enjoying her little victory.

"You don't sound too happy about doing so," she mused. I resisted the urge to sarcastically say "Very good!" She continued; "Do you want to tell me why that is?"

_No, but I will anyway, because I guess I have to. _"I usually don't trust strangers, especially with dumping my feelings on them. Might sound crazy, but it's true," I added sarcastically. She didn't clarify that I had to be nice about it, either; she just wanted me to talk. I knew that it was really rude and kind of unfair, but I see her as in my way of my freedom and my normal life. I couldn't help it but to be a little bitter about that.

"Alice, I know this must be hard for you. Would it help if you knew me a little bit better?"

_Not really. _I shrugged.

"I'll take that as a yes. I'm thirty-two years old, and I went to Brown, where I met my husband Rick. We have three children: a sixteen-year-old boy named Jack and fourteen-year-old twin girls, Tristan and Christy. Any questions so far?"

I thought of the theory I had earlier that I had thought over with Rachel. "Was there any special reason that you wanted to become a therapist?"

She thought for a second. "Well, I like kids, and I've been told that I am good at reading people. I did think about teaching, but I didn't think that I could handle the responsibilities of teaching."

"That's it?"

"Did you expect more?"

_Uh, YEAH, I expected a little more than that. _I just shrugged again. I was expecting that maybe she had gone through something emotionally stressful and wanted to help people like herself, or maybe that she had a sibling or friend like that and found her "calling" helping them. At least _something_ like that would have been better than simply "liking kids" and being "good at reading people." That didn't help me relate to her at all. Not that I hate kids or anything- I absolutely LOVED little kids and getting them to smile those cute little kid smiles- but it didn't really tie any emotional bonds with this woman enough for me to spill my guts to her.

"If you're still not completely comfortable, Alice, we can start small. How did you feel when your parents brought you here?"

I didn't really count that as a small start, but I knew that we would come to that eventually. "Betrayed," I answered.

She scribbled a quick note on the paper pad in front of her. "Why do you feel this way?"

_Well DUH, isn't that obvious? I thought you were good at reading people. _"My dad made me come here, even after I begged him not to make me go. My mom just went along with whatever he decided on the whole thing. That's how it always is; Dad calls the shots while Mom tags along."

"And you think that your mother would have argued with him if she had the courage to?"

"I would hope so. She looked guilty, but she might say that I needed what's best for me." I didn't add that sending me here wouldn't have been the best thing, but Mrs. Stevens probably knew my obvious opinion on the matter.

She made more notes on her paper with the pen flying across the page. I found myself wondering how she felt about her job. Maybe why she really wanted to be a therapist was the thrill of cracking some kind of little mystery. Maybe she didn't even give a crap about the kids and their problems and just did it because she was supposedly good at it and wanted the money. _Or maybe, just MAYBE, she was telling the truth about wanting to help kids and you're trying so desperately to find something wrong with her. Calm down with the crazy theories, Alice._

"How do you think your father feels about sending you here?" Mrs. Stevens asked after finishing her note writing. "That it was for your own good?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "He didn't look at all guilty and barely blinked when me and my sister begged for me to stay. He was always strict and demanded discipline, but I never thought that he would resort to this…"

More notes were added to her paper. "I see," she said. "Are you sure that he didn't regret his decision, deep inside?" I shrugged again, this time in all honesty instead of refusing to explain my actual thoughts.

"Do you want to explain to me about that day on the subway?"

I knew that this question would come. Actually, I expected it to be the first one to be asked. I also knew that my explanation of what had happened couldn't be avoided in any way.

I took a deep, beginning breath. "Okay, so I was just sitting there, when suddenly my sight got all blurry. Then I saw the train being crushed, and I knew that the only way for this to happen was to be hit by another train. In the little vision thing, I checked my watch, and it said that the train crashed at 5:12. When I got my sight back, I told my mom about what I had seen, but she just told me to calm down. We had two minutes left, and I couldn't do nothing, because I had a really bad feeling from what I saw. So, I pulled the emergency brake to stop us. Later at the police station -the stupid fat guy running the train didn't believe me and called them- said that the train _was _going to crash. And then my dad sent me here."

She wrote some more stuff down on the paper pad. "It's pretty clear about how your father feels about your vision. So, how do _you _feel about it? Do you think that you shouldn't have them and that you should try to get rid of them?"

"Well, the last one saved people's lives," I explained, "so they couldn't possibly be that bad. I haven't even had another one since. I think that it may just be a one-time thing."

She nodded as she jotted down more notes to show that she was listening. "That could be a possibility…"

"So why do I have to stay in here?" I sounded slightly whiney, but I didn't care. I just wanted out.

"Truthfully, Alice, you just brought that theory to light. Although that might be the case, it also might not be. We'll have to see if these visions continue." She glanced above my head. "But for now, your session is over. Thank you, Alice."

I looked at the clock as I got off of the leather couch. Sure enough, the hour was up. I was only two steps towards the door when Mrs. Stevens called my name. "Alice, there's something else before you leave."

A little nervous knot formed in my stomach as I turned back around. She didn't look angry or anything, so that made the knot loosen a little. "Every Wednesday, there is a mandatory group session at ten in the room to the right of mine."

Great. I had JUST gotten to talk to Mrs. Stevens, and now I had to go and talk to a room full of MORE strangers. "Why do I have to go?"

"It tends to help kids open up about their problems with people that have similar situations. It also gives you a chance to make some friends and confide in them for their opinions."

I sighed, but nodded. "Fine," I groaned, "I'll be there."

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	10. The Truth

**Haii. Here's an update for you lovelies. **

Chapter 10: The Truth

JPOV

The first thing I was conscious of was the pounding in my head. I groaned and rolled over in my bed. The next thing I was aware of was my bed. It didn't feel like it should; it was flatter than I remembered, and the blankets felt different. I opened my eyes.

I wasn't looking at my bedroom at Henry's. The walls were plain white, and the rest of the room was just as simple. Two wooden doors were on the wall that I was facing, and there was a window on the left that didn't look like it opened. Where was I?

I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The light filtering in through the window was soft, and I looked to see that the sky was just becoming the soft pinks and oranges of dawn. There was a clock on the wall that told me it was about 6:35. Well, at least I knew the time. The next thing I had to find out was the place.

I struggled through the fog of my headache and tried to remember what had happened. The day had started like any other. I got ready for school and Henry… was different. He didn't take me to school. He took me to an unfamiliar place.

There was yelling. _I _was yelling. Henry was trying to calm me down. Why was I so mad at him? I was never mad at Henry. He was a good guy, and always tried his best taking care of me. He did a good job of that, too.

It was this new place. There was a lobby… a reception desk, and there were people, dressed in blue… a hospital. A _mental _hospital.

I had yelled at him. I had felt betrayed. For what? He was trying to do what he thought was best. He couldn't help me on his own; he tried to explain that. I had refused to understand before and now that it was clear, he was gone, and probably feeling awful. He would have felt bad even if I hadn't yelled, but now he probably felt absolutely horrible because of my poor reaction.

I laid back on my bed and ran a hand through my hair. They had to sedate me, I now remembered. I had acted horribly. I had acted horribly, and Henry would blame himself for it. He would think that he was a bad guardian, when it was me that was the bad one. He'd given up his time and space for me, and tried to help me, and I lashed out at him. _You're so stupid, Jasper._

Something else sprang back into my memory. I had seen Jonathan again. I could tell that he was mocking me and loving my weakness and rage. I hated myself even more for giving him the satisfaction of my suffering. And then I remembered that Iwasn't giving _him _satisfaction; I was giving the figment of my _imagination _what it wanted. I couldn't ignore the truth now; I was crazy. My mind was damaged because of a past that I couldn't seem to let go. Now it was _really _haunting me.

I sat up again. Well, I had figured everything out and put all of the missing pieces together. Now what do I do? Do I just sit here and wait for someone to come to help, or do I leave and look for someone? I was completely lost in this new place.

My question was answered when the door opened. A man walked into the room with a smile. "Good to see you awake and calm," he said. "Scared us a bit with your stunt yesterday. Better now?"

"I guess so," I replied quietly. I was calmer, yes, but nothing was better.

"That's good to hear," he said cheerfully. "I'm Martin, by the way. Do you think that you can sleep any longer?"

"No, I'm fine," I said honestly. There were no dreams last night, and I was plenty rested, probably from the drugs. It made the whole ordeal lighten a little.

"Okay, then you'll want some breakfast. Follow me to the cafeteria." I got up and out of the bed. There was a pair of plain white shoes lying on the floor. I quickly tugged them on and followed Martin out the door.

We walked down a hallway and into the lobby. Several people looked my way, but then went back to what they were doing. I was grateful that their stares didn't linger for too long just to see if I was going to go insane in the lobby again.

We went down another hallway that branched off from the lobby. At the end was a set of double doors, which we stopped at. "Down the hall," Martin pointed to the right, "is where your therapist is. He has an opening at seven, so you'll have to go and see him then." I nodded to show my understanding. He opened one of the double doors and waved me into the cafeteria.

There were only a few occupants scattered around the big room. It was basic, and looked like the cafeteria at school, but plainer in color. There was a counter with breakfast food sitting on it against the left wall, and long white tables were spread across the room.

"Do you know the way back to your room?" I nodded at Martin. "Great. Well, I'll leave you alone then and attend to some other things. Remember: seven o'clock, down the hall." I gave him one last nod before he went out the door again.

I went over to the food counter and picked up an apple from the bowl of fruit at the end of the counter. I went to a vacated table in the corner where my usual lunch table at school would have been and sat to eat.

I bit and chewed thoughtfully and slowly to drag the time out. I still felt bad about how I treated Henry the other day; maybe they would let me call him or he would visit and I could tell him that I was sorry for how poorly I took in the situation. It was unacceptable. I would have to ask someone about that, preferably Martin. He seemed nice and friendly, but also understanding of people. I'm sure that he would show a little sympathy for me.

I took a quick glance at the time from the clock on the wall that was identical to the one in my room. I was about to lapse back into my thoughts- seeing as I have plenty of time until seven- when I noticed that two people sitting at a table under the clock had quickly looked away from me when I had checked the time.

Did they know about what I had done yesterday? Did they _see _what had went on yesterday? I kept my head low to hide my face. As if my guilt wasn't enough; now people were staring. I _really _didn't need this, but I guess I made that unavoidable. I felt really stupid now for the outburst that could have been avoided if I would have listened to Henry and talked it out with him.

I couldn't help but feel like I had let myself down. It was always a goal for me to make Henry see that he was a good guardian and let him feel good about what he was doing. He had told me that that's why he had wanted to be a foster parent: to feel like he was helping someone. I had let him and myself down, and I felt horrible now.

I didn't look up as I finished my breakfast except for quick checks at the clock. Because I really didn't know where else to go, I just sat alone at my table and waited for seven o'clock to roll around. At 6:55, I got up and walked out of the cafeteria with my head down. I thought it was better to not know if there were stares than to meet them.

There were a few doors on each side of the long hallway, and I didn't know which one was the right place. The doors were marked, but I didn't know how many therapists were down this hall and which one was the one I would be seeing.

A door opened to my left down the hall three doors down. Someone who looked a little bit younger than me by about a year or two walked past me quickly, not looking up from the ground. A man was standing outside the door, and he looked both ways. "Jasper Hale?" I hesitated for a second before nodding. He nodded back with a smile and waved me over.

I walked over to where he was standing at the door labeled "Dr. Jason Hetzer." He had black, square-framed glasses and neatly spiked brown hair. He looked like he was in the early thirties at the most. "Hello, Jasper," he said pleasantly. "I'm Jason." He waved me into his office.

I stepped in and looked at it for a quick moment. This room was much more comforting than the rest of the hospital. The walls were moss green, and a brown leather sofa was in the middle of the room with a matching chair across from it. The entire room had a warm, earthy feeling to it.

Dr. Hetzer sat down on the chair and motioned for me to sit on the couch. I did so and waited. "So, Jasper," he said while pulling a notebook and pen out, "how are you feeling today?" He had asked the question with such ease, like I was an old friend of his that he was catching up with. He also had an easy posture; leaned back in his chair, notebook propped on the arm of it, and a natural, unforced smile on his face.

"Um, fine, I guess," I mumbled. I could never be as easygoing as him without even knowing him.

"That's nice to hear," he said, like it actually _was _nice to hear and not just the polite thing to say. "I just wanted to make sure you were feeling better." I couldn't help but groan and run a hand through my hair. Of course he knew what happened yesterday, too. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I'm just angry with myself for acting like that yesterday. It was uncalled for."

"No, I understand," Dr. Hetzer said. "I talked with Henry; he said that he should have told you beforehand that you were coming here so you could talk about it. He really didn't want to send you here, you know."

"I know. He's by himself on taking care of me and he didn't know what to do. He really did think that this would be good for me, and he did what he could for me. I know that he's worried about me."

"You sound like you have a lot of respect for him."

"He's a respectable man. I should have shown him that when he first brought me here, but I didn't hear him out…" I realized how much I was talking. Dr. Hetzer didn't put any pressure on me to speak, and asked questions that kept up the flow of conversation. He also hasn't written anything on the paper still on the armrest; if he wrote things down constantly, it would have probably made me nervous about what he thought about me and my "mental health."

"I bet he would like to hear that. He said that he planned on visiting this weekend, if you were up to it."

"Yeah, of course. I want to apologize to him about the other day."

"That makes two of you. I'm sure he'll appreciate your apology and understanding." He smiled again, but I couldn't bring myself to return it. He didn't look phased.

"There's something I want to ask… Henry said that you endured some trauma regarding your childhood. I didn't ask him anything more about it because I wanted to hear it from you."

I couldn't answer. The only person I told the entire story of what happened to was the police officer, and I barely got it out of me then, right when the pain was fresh.

"I don't want to pressure you, Jasper," Dr. Hetzer added hastily. "Just tell me when you don't feel comfortable talking about something, and we'll move on. You have to understand, though, that I'll have to hear some information sometime."

I nodded. "Thanks."

He grinned. "There is something that I have to ask you to do today. There's a group therapy session today at ten. Do you think that you would be up to going to that?"

I sat and thought in silence for a minute. A whole group of people?

"I notice that you're very shy. I think that if you go, you could meet some people, maybe make some friends."

I haven't had friends in a long time… and it's not like these are random people; these people would have their own problems, so they might not be so judgmental of me.

"I think it would be good for you," Dr. Hetzer said. He didn't say it like he was pushing it on me. He just put his opinion out there and sounded like he cared about my well-being.

"Okay," I said. "I think I'll go."

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	11. We Are Broken

**Ladies and lads, without further ado, I give you the moment you've all been waiting for!**

Chapter 11: We Are Broken

APOV

I stayed slumped down in my cushioned folding chair and tried to make myself as small as possible as I looked around at the other people. The chairs identical to mine were placed in a circle in the middle of the room, and there were twelve chairs that made up the circle. Two people seated were obviously the therapists here; two smiling women in neat black suits. The other eight people were either talking to their neighbors or sitting in silence. I recognized the guy with the dyed black hair sitting on the other side of the circle slouched in his seat with his arms crossed sitting next to one of the therapists. There were three other guys to his left, but none of them were talking to each other. To my left was an empty seat, another boy, and a cluster of three chatting girls.

The gray carpet was the least bit interesting, but I stared at it anyway. I didn't want to make awkward eye contact with any of the people in the room, especially the guy with the dyed hair. He scared me, not gonna lie. So, I would keep my eyes glued to the floor until we started.

I was still mad at Mrs. Stevens. I tried to remind myself that this was mandatory, but that still didn't help her seem any better to me. She's just trying to help. She's doing what she thinks is best. She's trying to be a good person by helping me out.

Nope, still didn't like her.

The clock on the wall said that it was almost ten. Why didn't we start already? The door opened, and a voice said something. After a pause, the voice spoke again, and I could hear the person the voice belonged to walking away. The tall blonde boy from yesterday shuffled into the room. He looked nervous. I really couldn't blame him.

"Looks like that's everybody!" One of the therapists said. "Have a seat and we'll get started!" He sat down beside me in the only empty chair left. The therapist had a huge smile on her face, like this was the best place to be in the world.

"Okay, guys, we have two new kids today!" She gestured towards me and the blonde to the left. Her smile only got bigger. "Stand up, you two!"

I glanced sideways at the other newbie. He did the same thing to me. The poor guy looked absolutely terrified. I noticed that he had bruises and small shallow cuts on his face. "Come on, come on!" she urged. I hesitantly stood up, and the guy next to me followed my lead. I gave a shy wave.

"Well go on, introduce yourselves!"

It was obvious that the blonde guy wasn't going first. "Uh, I'm Alice Brandon." I sat. The boy, still standing, stared down at me and seemed to plead for me to stand up again and accompany him.

"And you? What's your name?"

"Jasper Hale," he replied so quietly that I barely heard him.

"Sorry?"

"Jasper," he said louder. He also sounded more annoyed. Again, I couldn't blame him for that. I've been told that I was too perky, but I had nothing on this woman's optimism level.

"Hi! Welcome to our little group! I'm Jenny, and this is Margaret." The other woman in a suit gave a little wave of recognition to us. I waved back, but Jasper stayed still. "Why don't the rest of you," Jenny continued enthusiastically, "introduce yourselves? Jarrett, let's start with you."

"They already know my name," the boy with the dyed hair said, "because you just said it."

"Well, say it again," Jenny persisted sweetly.

Jarrett rolled his eyes. "I'm Jarrett. Welcome to hell." He grinned evilly.

"Jarrett, we've talked about this…"

"I'm not being rude, I'm being honest. And I told them that they were welcome, didn't I?" Jenny pursed her lips, but turned to the guy sitting beside Jarrett. He had brown hair with a hint of red, and he was staring off into space. Jarrett slapped his arm hard, and he zoned back in to glare at him. Jarrett grinned. "Introduce yourself," Jarrett said sarcastically.

The boy looked around and blinked. It must have clicked that Jasper and I were the new people that he was supposed to introduce himself to. "Tyler," he mumbled, "Tyler Murr."

The others stated their names. Will and Mark sat to my right, and Steve, Erin, Michelle, and Nikki were on my left. None of them seemed as ecstatic as Jenny by our arrival, but her bubbliness seemed hard to live up to, even for me.

"Okay, looks like we know everyone! Here's what we're going to do today: Margaret and I will split you into groups to get to know your neighbor better." Jenny said something quick to Margaret and pointed at some people, and Margaret nodded.

"Alright then!" She stood up and pointed out groups. It was just the person next to you that was your partner. I was with Jasper. Once we were paired up, Jenny sat back down beside Margaret and left us alone.

I turned toward Jasper. He did the same. Awkward silence.

I decided that I would have to make the first attempt at conversation, but while I was thinking of something to say, he spoke first. "I've seen you before, haven't I?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, "on the subway. Uh, sorry if I made you late or something…"

"Oh, no, it was fine." I couldn't tell if he was lying to be polite or not. He seemed like the kind of guy that would do that to spare someone's feelings. "But, if you don't mind me asking… what happened that day?"

He looked patient. He also looked like he was very understanding, but that could have just been me. I bit my lip. "Will you judge me?"

"Not if you don't judge me." He paused and looked down. Then he met my eyes to say, "I'll tell you if you tell me."

I smiled. I just hoped that he was telling the truth. "Well… I kinda _saw _something, like a vision. It was the train crashing. Like, it totally got crushed, and I don't think anyone would have survived that. I had a bad feeling that it was actually going to happen, but either way, I wanted to be safe and stop the train. I told my mom about what I saw, but she wouldn't listen to me. From my vision, I knew that I had two minutes, so I had to act fast. So I pulled the emergency brake."

He didn't look like he was holding back judgments, so I continued. "I had to go to the police station then. I told the cop what happened, but I could tell that he didn't believe me. But then this other cop with a paper came in, and the paper said that the train _would have _crashed."

Jasper was looking down with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "That's a good thing. You were right, and you saved lives. Why would they send you here?"

"I've been wondering the same thing. I mean, how could a talent that would save lives be seen as something bad? But my dad had me brought here, and my mom didn't try to stop him."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. It's like he controls her now, even if he doesn't do it directly, ya know what I mean? She just knows to go along with whatever he says and doesn't even try to put her opinion in anymore." There was silence between us. The others were talking and some were even laughing occasionally. "So what about you?"

He met my eyes for a moment, but then looked away from direct eye contact. "Well… where do I begin?" he muttered. "I don't think that I could just tell you why I was here without telling you everything, but…"

"You can just give me the big parts, if that's better for you," I suggested. "I won't force you to completely spill your guts."

He almost smiled, but I could see pain in his eyes. "Okay." He took a deep breath. "When I was nine, my parents… were killed." His voice broke on the last word, but he cleared his throat and continued. "I've been through a few foster homes, and I'm living with Henry right now. He's a great guy, and he tries his best to be a good guardian."

"But you don't get along?" I remembered the other day and how he reacted with who must have been Henry.

"No, that's not it at all. We got along just fine, and he took good care of me. I told him about my… problem, and he sent me here. He tried reasoning with me, telling me that he thought this would be best for me and that he couldn't do this on his own. I was… unreasonable when he brought me here. It was this morning when I understood what he was trying to do for me."

"So…" I didn't want to push him just in case he skipped over it on purpose, but I really wanted to know. "Why are you here?"

He took another breath. "Will you judge me?" he repeated my earlier words. He almost smiled again, but not quite.

"You didn't judge me, and I'll try my best to extend that kindness to you. I'll try, but I can't really make any promises, you know?"

"I understand. I'm here because I… _see_ my parents' killer."

I gasped quietly, but he heard. I didn't want him getting the wrong idea of my reaction, so I hastily said, "That must be horrible, like… reliving the whole thing. I'm sorry." He just nodded.

"I think that I only see him when I get mad or frustrated… at least that's how it's been going so far. It's just that I don't know why it started. One minute I was being hit-"

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" I cut in. He did that almost smiling thing, but it was closer to an actual smile. I wanted to see a full blown smile on this kid.

"Yeah, it's no big deal. I'm use to it; just something guys do at school." I didn't like it. Beating people up shouldn't be "just something guys do," and it didn't seem like it was no big deal. "Anyway, one minute I was being hit, and the next, he was just… there. He just stood there, watching me."

We lapsed into another thoughtful silence. I wasn't exactly an awkward one; it was like a silence with a friend. No words were needed for every empty space. It was weird that the comfortable silence was with a guy I barely knew, but weird in a good way.

"I'm seeing him this weekend, I think," Jasper said. "He's probably blaming himself for everything. I hate it when he does that…" He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He didn't say anything else, and neither did I.

In the silence, I looked around the room. There wasn't one person who didn't look completely broken as they spoke except for Jarrett. He was sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed and listening to Tyler. His eyes were like blue sheets of ice that portrayed no emotion besides anger and coldness. I was curious about what had happened to him for him to be here, and whether the ice cracked when he told his story or if it just got colder.

I could barely look at the others; they were either talking and looking completely broken or they were listening and feeling their pain. I thought my situation was bad, but I didn't think that I looked as hurt as any of these people. I wanted to help them all somehow, take away some of the pain written in their eyes and etched in their faces.

I looked back at Jasper to find that he was staring at me. This, like the silence, wasn't exactly awkward or embarrassing. He looked away and towards the other people in the room. He must have been seeing what I had seen.

"So where are you from?" I asked. He brought his attention back to me.

"Houston, Texas, originally," he replied. "Moved around quite a bit, and now I'm here. What about you?"

"Forks, which is just about the smallest town on the planet. It's a _very_ exciting place." I rolled my eyes and smiled sarcastically. He grinned a little at my joke. It wasn't quite an actual smile yet, but I was getting closer.

We talked about simple life things for the rest of the hour. I did most of the talking, and he was a good listener who asked questions about what I said and took real interest in what I was saying. I got a few more smiles out of him, and even though they were small and didn't quite touch his eyes, I still felt good about seeing them. He had admitted that he didn't smile much, and I wanted to change that.

"Okay, everyone," Jenny had broke in, "the hour's over! Have a great week!"

Everyone got out of their seats and left the room. Jasper and I stood to go with them. We walked out of the room together and down the hall. He turned to head one way while I went for the common room.

"See ya later?"

"Yeah. Bye, Alice."

I waved to him. He waved back and walked down the hall and away. I turned and made my way to the common room. Rachel was sitting at the round table in the back of the room. I went over and sat beside her. She smiled in greeting, and I grinned back at her.

"How was group therapy?"

"Not that bad, actually," I said. "I got paired up with a nice guy, and we talked."

"That's good," Rachel said.

"So what have you been doing?"

"Just got back from therapy." She didn't look too happy about that, but she didn't say anything else on the subject of her session. We ended up talking about different random things for awhile. When she decided to go back to her room for awhile, I chose to do the same.

When I got back to my room, I found myself staring up at the ceiling again. The gears in my mind were turning with different topics: My parents, Cynthia, my friends, school. My old life. The only thing that I thought about that was here was Jasper.

I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It must be torture to see your parents' killer, to relive the painful experience. My "illness" seemed so minor compared to his. The gears shifted to all of the others in group therapy today. They looked so broken and unhappy. I'm sure that their parents had the same thoughts as mine when it came to their mentality. It made me think that no one was whole. We are all broken.

My sight blurred around the edges. I blinked, but the haze crept in. I closed my eyes and braced myself for a vision that was probably long overdue.

"_Where is she?" a familiar voice asked. "We haven't seen her for days. Whenever any of us call, your mom or dad picks up and says that she's sick and won't be at school for a long time."_

"_We know that's bullshit," a male voice cut in, "and we wanna see her."_

_Cynthia was sitting on her bed with teary eyes. "My parents told me not to tell."_

"_Well your parents-"_

"_Cynthia," a calmer feminine voice broke him off, "we're her best friends. We just want to know if she's okay and we want to see her. What's wrong?"_

_Cynthia sniffed. "They said that she's sick in her head. They sent her away to get better. I didn't want her to go…" she was sobbing. A blonde girl sat on the bed and hugged her as she cried. _

"_Can you tell us where they sent her?" she asked gently as she smoothed Cynthia's hair._

"_A- an asylum," she choked out, "in Seattle. They won't take me to see her this weekend. I just want her home!" Her voice dissolved in her tears again as the blonde girl rocked her back and forth. She exchanged glances with the others there._

I was back in my white room. I gasped and sat up.

My best friends were in that vision. They wanted to know where I was. No one told them? Of course not. The whole thing would be hushed up by my parents. They said something about me being sick. If someone were to visit, they could just say that I was too sick for visitors and that my illness was contagious or something.

Cynthia told them where I was. She would probably tell them the whole story when she could, and my friends would think I was crazy. I don't think I could take it if they left me, too.

I laid back down on the bed, crawled under the covers, and started to cry. I couldn't be alone for this. I couldn't do this by myself. What if my parents would never come to see me? What if it would be weeks, or months, until I saw them and my little sister again? I was starting to feel more broken than before. Maybe I would change like all of those other people. Maybe no one would be there to fix me.

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	12. Paper Cut

Chapter 12: Paper Cut

JPOV

The rest of the week past, and I found myself falling into a routine by Saturday. This morning at eleven, Henry would come to visit. This would be my chance to apologize and make everything right with him.

I would still have to go to to therapy at eight. At 7:30, I got ready for the day and headed down to Mr. Hetzer's room when I only had five minutes to go until I had to be there.

I didn't think that I would like talking to a therapist, but Dr. Hetzer seemed too calm and natural to be a therapist. Him being calm made me calm, and it made me comfortable enough to talk freely and answer any questions he asked.

The door to his room was closed when I got there. I knocked softly twice, heard him tell me to come in, and opened the door. He was sitting in his chair with a notepad. He finished what he was writing and looked up. "Hey, Jasper," he said while flipping the notebook pages. "Just finished some stuff up." He gestured towards the leather sofa across from him. I went farther into the room and sat down.

"So, you're seeing Henry today," he said.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Are you still feeling guilty? Because it's not your fault, you know."

"I know, but I can't help it. I guess that I hate it when Henry takes all of the blame, so I end up blaming myself."

He nodded slowly and thought about what I said. "That makes sense." He was quiet for another moment that I didn't want to break. He looked like he was deep in thought, and I didn't want to disturb that. "Did you ever consider that it might be no one's fault?"

It was my turn to become silent with thoughts for a minute. It just seemed to me that someone had to take blame for something happening. Things happened because of what people do. I said that out loud to him.

"You're a very interesting person, Jasper," Dr. Hetzer mused, "and I've met quite a few interesting people. Your thoughts on life are different than what I've heard from others."

I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Was my outlook on some things crazy? "Is that… good?"

"Yes, I would say so," he said. "It makes me rethink things. It's better that you're unique more than the same as everyone else."

"I wouldn't say that," I muttered.

"Why not?"

"Well, sometimes "different" and "unique" aren't exactly accepted by some people."

"Then maybe you don't know the right people." He smiled. I smiled back a little. "So how have you been feeling? Have you been hallucinating any more at all?" I had told him about me hallucinating Jonathan and what he did before, but I didn't go into detail. I had decided to just give him the basics to work with. I had also told him my theory of how I saw him: within frustration and anger.

"I'm fine," I said. "I haven't really been mad or frustrated, so he hasn't been back. Only the first day here."

"That's good to hear," he said. "I know it must be hard to see him, especially when you're stressed and angry." I nodded. People say that they know it must be hard for me, but they don't _really _know because they never experienced it themselves. They could try to imagine it, but they couldn't like I did. I didn't want them to know how it feels. I didn't want them to try. No one deserved to feel anything that I've felt.

"Do you think that you can tell me more about the first time you saw him?" I had said that I saw him for the first time in the restroom, then I thought I saw him that night, and then he kept popping up in school the next day. I didn't elaborate further than that. "How did you react?"

"I was surprised and scared," I said, "because I thought that he was real. I was confused as to how he got out of prison. I thought he was going to kill me. I worried for my sister, Rosalie. I don't know where she is right now. We've lost touch over the years." I sighed and dug into my memory more. "He did nothing but stare at me. I asked him why he was there with me, and he said that he wasn't there. That confused me. Then I closed my eyes, opened them, and he was gone."

Dr. Hetzer nodded. "And what about the other times that day?"

"I was in my room struggling with some homework," I recalled. "I only saw him in the mirror for a second. I thought it was a trick of the light, or stress, or lack of sleep. The next day, I tried to ignore him, but he just kept showing up. I told Henry about it that night, because I knew that he wouldn't go away if I just kept ignoring him." Dr. Hetzer nodded in agreement. "Henry did the right thing by sending me here. I can't get rid of him by myself."

"It's good that you're open to getting help. Some kids your age don't embrace help when they come here, and it takes longer to get through to them." He glanced at the clock. "Well, we're done for today. Good luck with Henry, and I'll see ya later."

He got up with me and went with me to the door. I walked down the hall as he smiled in departure. I still had a couple hours to spare, so I decided to get some breakfast and then maybe go back to my room.

When I got to the cafeteria, I got an apple and went over to the back table. I bit and chewed slowly to take up time. I was about to zone out when the chair next to me moved. I refocused to see Alice sitting beside me.

"You looked lonely," she said. "I thought I'd sit by you, if you want."

"Uh…" No one has offered to sit beside me before just because I looked lonely. "Yeah. Sure."

She peeled back the peel on her banana. "So are you doing anything special today?"

"I'm seeing Henry at eleven. What about you?"

Her face fell. "No. I don't think my parents are coming today." I felt bad for her and stupid for making her so sad. "Maybe they'll come next weekend," she said optimistically and tried to smile. I think she knew that it wasn't very convincing.

"Are they that mad about what you can do?"

"They didn't even tell my best friends what really happened." She paused, like she was debating on telling me something. "I had another vision."

"When?"

"Wednesday, after the group meeting."

She looked upset, so I didn't want to push her into saying anything she wasn't ready to say. "Are you okay?"

She was silent. "I don't know," she answered, shaking her head and blinking back tears. "In the vision, my friends were talking to my sister."

"Cynthia," I recalled. She nodded and tried to smile again, maybe a little pleased that I remembered. She had only mentioned the name once, so I was surprised that I remembered myself.

"Yeah, Cynthia. My friends were wondering where I was. They said that they called my house, but my parents answered the phone and said that I was sick. They didn't want the truth out. They wouldn't even tell my best friends what was going on. So they went to Cynthia and asked what was really going on. She said that I was here, and probably told them everything. They probably think I'm a freak now." She blinked more rapidly to stop the tears. "I don't want to lose my friends, too."

"How can you be sure about how they'll react?" I asked. "Aren't they understanding?"

"Yeah, they are," Alice said, "but I just can't help it. I'm afraid that they won't be able to understand this time. I'm afraid that they'll act like my parents did. I don't think I could take it."

"I think that they'll understand. If they're good friends, they'll stick by you." I hoped that I was right for her sake. She didn't look like she would be able to handle anyone else abandoning her.

"I hope you're right," she said. She took a bite of her banana. We both ate in silence for awhile. It looked like she was thinking because there was a crease between her eyebrows as she ate with care.

"You never did talk about friends Wednesday," Alice said suddenly.

"No," I replied. "Because I really don't have any. You can say that I'm socially awkward."

She laughed. "You seem shy, but not quite awkward," she disagreed. "If people reached out, I think you could make some friends."

"Well, that's the problem. No one reached out."

"That's awful," Alice said. "Why not?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully, "but I'm fine with it."

"Really?" It looked like she was trying to imagine not having any friends. It was almost funny watching her think about it.

"Yeah, really."

"Don't you get lonely?"

"Sometimes."

"I don't think I could stand it," she said, shaking her head. "I'm around people all the time, and it would be a weird change for me."

"I guess I've learned to live with it," I said with a shrug.

"No one should have to do that," she murmured. I took another bite of my apple, and we took that opportunity to eat some more in silence. She stole some glances at me when she thought I wasn't looking. Maybe she was regretting talking to me at all because she thought I was some outcast. Maybe she was sitting with me out of pity.

"You don't have to be here if you don't want to," I mumbled. She looked up at me and swallowed.

"What made you think that I didn't want to be here?" I shrugged. "I do want to be here. Really. You're… easy to talk to, I guess. You seem like a good guy."

"Thanks," I said. I hoped that she was telling the truth and not just saying that to make me feel better.

"I mean that, you know," Alice said. "About you being a good guy and all."

I nodded. "Yeah." I didn't know that my doubt was so easy to read on my face.

"You're a good listener, too," Alice continued. I didn't know why she was complimenting me so much. I also didn't know that I was a good listener. That was a nice thing to know about myself, I guess.

We lapsed into silence again. Alice finished her banana and folded the peel up on the table. I watched her play around with it as I ate my apple. I glanced at the clock to see that I had plenty of time left.

"Have somewhere to be before you see Henry?" Alice asked.

"No," I said. "You?"

"Had my therapy this morning," she said while rolling her eyes.

"Who do you talk to?"

"Mrs. Stevens. Do you have her?"

"No, I have Dr. Hetzer. Is Mrs. Stevens bad?"

She sighed. "It's probably just me." She shrugged. "I was curious about what got her started with being a therapist. She said it was because she liked kids and she didn't want to be a teacher. I would just think that she would have went through something that would have made her want to do it, like she knew someone that needed therapy or something. I'm probably just being stupid, though."

"What you're thinking makes sense," I said. "I would expect them to go through something, too. It makes me wonder if Dr. Hetzer went through something or wanted to be a therapist for the same reason yours did." I might ask him next time I go, because I was truly curious, now that Alice mentioned it. "You're not being stupid."

She smiled. "Thanks," she said. "It's nice to talk to someone who gets this stuff, ya know?"

"Yeah," I answered. "Although it's nice to talk to someone in general. Good change for me."

She frowned. "I wish it wasn't a change," she said.

"Don't worry about it so much," I urged.

"Sorry," she said with a little laugh. "I'll try not to. I guess it's getting a little annoying, huh?"

"No, it's not really annoying. I just don't want to make you think on it too much."

"Okay." She turned enough in her chair to look at the clock. "You only have ten minutes, and I don't want to make Henry wait for you."

I looked at the clock. She was right. "Okay. Thanks for sitting with me."

"You're welcome," she said with a smile. I went over to the trash can, threw away what remained of my apple, and left the cafeteria to head for the common room.

When I got there, I had to look for Henry amongst all of the other visitors and patients. I spotted him at a table in the center back of the room. He didn't see me yet; he was staring at the table. He looked nervous. I weaved my way through the tables and took a seat beside him once I got to his table.

He finally noticed me and looked up from the table. "Dr. Hetzer said that you weren't mad at me," Henry stated. He tried to be nonchalant about it, but I could tell that he was desperate for the therapist's word to be true.

"I'm not," I said calmly in an effort to ease his nerves. "Really, I'm fine. When I woke up the next day, I completely understood what you were doing for me. I'm only angry with myself for acting that way and not hearing you out. I'm truly sorry."

He stared at me for a moment. "You seem much older than just seventeen with the way you're handling this," Henry said. "With the way you handle most things, actually. You're strong, Jasper."

"_He's wrong. You're weak."_

I stiffened. Jonathan was standing behind Henry's chair, leering at me. I looked away from him and focused on Henry. "Thanks," I managed to say coolly enough to satisfy Henry.

"You know you're weak, too," Jonathan said. "You know that he's wrong."

I tried to tune him out. "So how's it goin' here?" Henry asked.

"Pretty good," I answered. "My therapist is nice. He doesn't push me to do anything or say anything I'm not ready for." Even if it was actually bad here, I would have probably lied or left out the bad qualities so Henry wouldn't feel guilty for sending me to a place I don't like.

"That's good," he said. "Meet any new people?"

"Yeah. I talked to this one girl. She's nice."

"That's good." He looked down at the table and then back at me. "So… do you think you're… getting better? Or that you will?"

"I think it's too early to tell, but I haven't seen him since the time I told you about it," I lied.

Laughter erupted from Jonathan. "Trying not to make him worry? Trying to spare his feelings? That didn't happen when he brought you here without even _telling _you. He went behind your back to put you away! He didn't want to deal with you!"

I knew what he was trying to do; he was trying to get me mad and to yell at him and plant thoughts into my head about Henry that weren't true to get me mad at Henry, too. I wanted to tell him that, and that it wouldn't work, but I couldn't while in public. I would have to wait until Henry left to go back to my room and deal with him. I wouldn't ignore him forever. I couldn't.

I asked about the shop, and he told me about a new project he was working on. I listened and nodded along while trying my best to block Jonathan out. It wasn't easy hearing Henry with Jonathan cutting in, but I managed to get through a conversation with him.

Soon, we ran out of things to say, and Henry was going to go. He wasn't sure if he should, but I assured him that it was fine. He asked if he could come back tomorrow around noon, and I said that would be alright. He gave me an awkward one-armed hug and left.

When he was gone, I left the common room and hurried to my room. "Running away?" Jonathan taunted. "Surprising." I walked faster.

Once I was in my room, I slammed the door and spun around. I didn't wait for him to come in after me, but I knew that he would be behind me anyway. Now that I was facing him, I didn't know how I was going to go about this. I decided to bring up what he said about me earlier.

"I am not weak," I said sternly. I would try my best to be the strongest as long as I could.

"And what makes you say that?"

"I'm talking to you instead of running from you."

"That doesn't show strength, stupid boy."

"How would _you _know about strength?"

"I was strong enough to kill your parents, now wasn't I?"

"That doesn't prove anything." I was getting angrier, but I tried to keep calm and not give into him. He wouldn't win this one.

"I think you're wrong there, kid," he said with a smug smile. My anger must have been showing.

"Well, that's what you think."

"Yeah, it is. You know nothing about strength. You're just a kid who thinks life is so unfair, like all the rest. None of you are different. You're all just stupid kids."

"I'm not stupid," I growled. His arrogant grin grew wider. He knew that he was getting to me.

"You are," he said. He started to pace in a close circle around me, always close to my face to seem intimidating. I tried to show him that it didn't bother me, but my lie probably wasn't very convincing on my face. "You're dumb and weak. You weren't smart or strong enough to save them."

"I was just a kid-"

"Like you are now! You can't fool me. I'm in your head. I know you."

"You know nothing about me!"

"I know what happened after I killed your pathetic parents. You moved from place to place, with no one to love you. So tragic. You always though your sister would be there for you, but where is she now?" He stopped his pacing and stood in front of me. "You don't know. And now you're alone."

"Shut up!" I lunged at him, but met empty air. He had disappeared yet again. I stood still and waited for any sound. Nothing could be heard but my slightly labored breaths and the pounding in my ears.

I went over and collapsed onto my bed. I couldn't close my eyes for fear that he would show up again. I would probably just stay in my room for the rest of the day and do nothing so Jonathan wouldn't have a reason to come back.

His words were a whirlwind in my head. _You're dumb and weak. You weren't smart or strong enough to save them. _He couldn't blame me for that! I was just a scared little kid! _Like you are now. _No. What he did matured me beyond my age. I wasn't just a kid anymore.

I hated to admit it to myself, but he was right about one thing: I was alone.

**INTENSEEEEE. And a lil' bit longer, which pleases me, and hopefully you. Speaking of you people…**

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	13. Straightjacket Feeling

**I got my laptop taken away, but my mom let me use it for an hour today :D **

Chapter 13: Straightjacket Feeling

APOV

After Jasper left the cafeteria, I just sat at the table for a few minutes. I still couldn't get over the fact that he never had any friends! He just seemed so nice and caring! The people he knew were jerks for not talking to him or making some kind of an effort. Didn't they think that he wanted a friend?

I sighed and got up with my banana peel. He told me not to worry about it, so I won't. I'll just put it out of my mind and go do something else to keep it out.

Easier said than done.

What else was there to do here? Maybe Rachel was in the common room and I could talk to her. I threw my banana peel in the trash can and left the cafeteria.

There was nothing to distract me on the walk down the hallway. _Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it._ At least Jasper had Henry to count on… at least Henry would visit him, and he wasn't even his biological father. My parents wouldn't even make time to see their own blood daughter. It was a Saturday, I knew they could squeeze some time in to see me. No doubt my dad made up some work excuse if Mom asked to come. Then, she wouldn't go because she sensed his disapproval of visiting and would just sigh and do some house work or something to let out her frustration with him.

My thoughts had made me walk slower, so I cleared my head and picked up my pace. I peeked into the common room. It was filled with patients and family and friends. Rachel wasn't there. I sighed and was about to move on when I saw Henry in the back give Jasper a hug. It made a knot twist in my throat that my own parents weren't here, telling me how much they missed me and how they hoped that I would get better soon so I can come home to them.

I swallowed the knot and looked away. I turned around to head to my room and maybe come back later to see if Rachel was there later. Feeling more reassured with a plan, but not better, I headed back to my room.

My mind quickly went back to my main issue. Would they ever come? Would they pretend that they didn't have another daughter until I was better? Wouldn't they even come for Cynthia to see me? Speaking of Cynthia, how did my friends take the news about me?

I was halfway down the hall back to my room when I heard a light pounding. I listened closer to figure out that it was growing louder and louder.

"MARY ALICE BRANDOOOOOOON!"

Suddenly, I was spinning through the air. Something was tight around my waist that kept me up. I laughed and squealed. I wasn't worried that some freaky psycho stalker was trying to choke me to death. I recognized the person who called my name and had me in the air immediately.

"Emmett, put me down!"

He laughed and did as I asked, but turned me around and crushed me against him in the death hold he called a hug.

"!"

"I missed you too, Emmett," I giggled. He was such a girl sometimes. "Now let me go so I can get some air." He laughed again and loosened his hold on me. Emmett looked behind him at Bella, Edward, Rosalie, and Cynthia, who were laughing and coming down the hall towards us.

"Come _oooooon,_" Emmett yelled. "You're so _slooooow._"

The approaching group laughed and quickened their pace. Once they got to us, they took turns hugging me and saying how much they missed me.

"How did you guys find me?"

"Cynthia told us the name of this place, and we looked it up," Rosalie said. "She told us everything. I'm so sorry, honey."

"I'm just glad you're here," I replied. "I thought you guys might think I was some kind of freak."

"Are you kidding?" Emmett said. "You can see the freaking future! That's AWESOME, kid! It just sucks that you're in this place. And your parents? No offence, but they MAJORLY pissed me off."

"I just can't believe that they didn't tell my _best friends_ what was going on," I said while crossing my arms. "They just made up some stupid excuse."

"How did you know that they didn't tell us?" Edward asked. "Cynthia said that they haven't had any contact with you for a week."

"Oh, yeah, uh… I kinda s_aw _it, or whatever."

"That's _awesome,_" Emmett repeated. "What number am I thinking of right now?"

"I can see the future, not read minds."

"Twenty-two," Edward answered him smoothly.

Emmett's eyes widened as he slowly turned to him. "How did you KNOW?"

"Because you always pick the number twenty-two." Edward smiled while Emmett said "oh…" and squinted to try and remember the times he had asked anyone to guess the number he was thinking of.

While he was doing that, Bella asked, "Did you really think we would abandon you because of what you can do?"

"My own parents did," I pointed out, "so I really didn't know what to think."

"True," she said, "but just know that we'll always stick with you." I gave her a grateful smile and she grinned in return.

"Yeah, we got your back, girl," Rosalie chimed in. She wrapped an arm around Emmett's waist and leaned into him. He slung an arm around her shoulders and kissed her head.

"Excuse me," a sassy voice said. I turned to the voice and faced a girl wearing a dark blue uniform and an annoyed expression. "You all," she indicated at us with a French manicured finger, "have to go into the common room." She pointed over her shoulder.

Rosalie stood up straight and crossed her arms. She didn't usually take crap from anyone, especially someone like this chick who was full of herself because she had a little power. "Why can't we be out here?"

"Uh, because that's the visiting room," she sneered as she made another gesture towards it, "and _visitors _can't just be all out in the hall when they feel like it. It's against the rules."

"What kinda-"

"Babe," Emmett cut in, "it's fine." Rosalie glared at him, but he returned it evenly. Rosalie was stubborn, but Emmett always knew when to make her see reason. With that, their intense passion, and their similar personalities and senses of humor in all the right places, they made a great couple. "Let's go then."

Rosalie glared at the worker as we passed her to get to the common room. She gave us all a snide look before turning down another hallway. We took up two couches as we sat down. They all filled me in on who broke up with who, and who asked someone out, and other drama that arises at the ever exciting Forks High School while Cynthia talked about the middle school siblings of the high school kids we hate and how they act like them.

Lots of people glared at us when we laughed and talked too loud, but I didn't care, and I didn't think my friends and sister did, either. I was truly happy here, which I thought would never happen. But here we are, laughing and talking like nothing was wrong, just like we would have a week ago.

I realized while I was having such a great time with my friends that I didn't need any kind of approval from my parents as long as my friends and little sister were here to get me through. Maybe that's why Dad didn't want Cynthia to visit or for my friends to know; he wanted me to feel like something was wrong with me to motivate myself to fix it.

I didn't care anymore. If the people that mattered and would stay with me were okay with it, so was I. I was accepted somewhere important, and that's what really mattered to me. My father couldn't steal my life away. I wouldn't let him. I would live my own life from now on.

But the question is, how do I get out of here to live that life?

**I hoped you liked that, because it made me happy :D**

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**I'm SO excited for the next chapter, hint hint :D The next one is the last one that I have prewritten, so I'm gonna try and write as much as I can. Later.**


	14. Seawhatweseas

**Hello world. So I am going to completely screw up my order and make this another APOV, because it would work much better that way, AND BECAUSE I CAN. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! **

Chapter 14: Seawhatweseas

APOV

Cynthia, Edward, Bella, Emmett, and Rosalie all said that they would come again Sunday at noon, which made me overly excited and giddy. I was pretty hyper for the rest of the day Saturday. The only thing that ruined it was that I would have to wait a few hours after therapy to see them, so I would have to have a stupid session and then find something to do until twelve.

I got up at seven to get a shower, do my hair and makeup, and get ready for the day. I got done a little after seven-thirty. With a half hour to spare, I decided to see if Rachel or maybe Jasper was in the common room.

Rachel was at the back table. I went over and sat beside her. "Hey!"

"Hi," she replied.

"So what's up?"

"Nothing much with me," she said. "What about you?"

"My friends came to visit yesterday," I chirped. "I didn't think they would."

"Because of what you can do?"

"Yeah… I had a vision that my sister would tell them everything, because my parents didn't. They didn't even tell my _best friends, _they were so ashamed! I thought they would freak out, but nope, they came to see me and they're okay with it."

"That's great," Rachel said. "It sounds like you have nice friends."

"Yeah. They're coming again today, and Cynthia. Maybe you could meet her!"

"I don't know…" She looked a little scared.

"I think she'll like you," I urged. "She's kinda shy around new people, too. I think you would get along. Can you try? For me?" I folded my hands and pouted, begging for her to give Cynthia a chance. I just know that Cynthia would like her, and I hoped the same for Rachel.

She laughed a little. "Fine," she gave in.

"Yay!" I clapped. "But really, I think she'll like you."

"I hope so," she murmured.

I glanced at the clock. "Crap, I should go. I have therapy. Will you still be here in an hour? Maybe you can have breakfast with me."

"Uh, yeah, sure," she said. "I don't have therapy until ten."

"Oh, Cynthia and my friends are coming at noon," I told her. She nodded. I got up, waved goodbye, and went down the hall to Mrs. Stevens' room. My happiness faded by a fraction as I stood outside the open door. _It's just an hour, _I told myself, _and then you'll see your friends and sister. Just an hour of this. You're fine._

Mrs. Stevens saw me standing in the doorway and waved me in. I entered and sat on the couch. She went over to her desk in the corner and picked up her notepad and pen. It always made me nervous when she wrote something down on it right after I said something.

"Hello again, Alice," she said pleasantly. "To start, is there anything you would like to share?"

I had never told her about my vision. I wasn't sure if it would be best to keep that to myself or to tell her. Did she already know? "Uh, my friends and sister visited yesterday and are coming again today."

"That's good," she said. She wrote something down, which made me nervous as well as a bit annoyed. "Have your parents visited?"

"No," I grumbled. "They won't even come for Cynthia to visit me. It's not fair."

"Why do you think they won't visit?"

"I don't know," I answered bitterly. "If they were here, I could ask them."

"But they're not here," Mrs. Stevens pointed out. _NOOOOO WAAAAAY. Really? Hardly noticed. _"So what do you think?"

"I don't know," I repeated, "maybe they don't want Cynthia around a crazy person. Maybe they thought I was a problem and they would ignore me until I get better."

She scribbled on the paper again. "Okay," she said simply. Okay? What did that mean? Okay, I think you're insane? Okay, let's move on? Something else? "Maybe they'll come to visit, once they're ready."

"Once _they're _ready?" I asked incredulously. "They're the ones who betrayed me and shut me in here. _I _should be the one who needs time."

She had been writing stuff down while I had been talking. She was nodding along, but it still made me think that she wasn't listening. "Would you let up on the writing?" I snapped. "It's annoying and kind of rude."

"Why do you think that?" she asked while putting her pen down.

"Well, because it's like you're not listening to me. I thought the whole point of this was for you to listen and fix me, or whatever it is I need."

"I'm just taking some notes on how I think you're getting along and what you're saying so I can evaluate more thoroughly," she explained.

"Well, could you… I don't know, do it less?"

"I'll try."

"Okay."

"Alright then. Now, it's been a week since your first vision. Have you had any more since then?"

I was out of time to think about this. Truth or lie? If I tell the truth, that might help her help me somehow. If I don't, maybe they'll think that it was just a one-time thing and let me go. Could they somehow find out that I had a vision? And what if I had one in the middle of a session? There would be no way to cover that up.

"Alice?"

The truth will set you free, right? "I actually had another vision," I said slowly.

"When did you have this vision?"

"Wednesday."

"And you're telling me this now?" She didn't sound angry, like when my mother asked that question. It was simply a question, with nothing implied.

"I forgot about it until now," I lied. The vision had been in the back of my mind every session. It would be better if she didn't know that I didn't 'fess up right after I had it. She didn't really have to know, anyway. No harm done, just a little delay. "You reminded me of it when you asked."

"Okay," she said. "What did you see in your vision?"

"Cynthia was telling my friends about where I was. My parents never told them about it."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Mad."

"Do you ever think that you'll forgive your parents for sending you here?"

"I don't know," I grumbled. "Probably sometime." I was tired of talking already, and it had only been ten minutes into the session. I sighed at the clock.

"I'm curious," Mrs. Stevens said, ignoring my sigh. "How do the visions work?"

"Well, I guess my vision gets blurry. Gradually and around the edges at first, but then it travels in. Then it forms a picture, well, more like a video playing. If I'm in it, I'm looking at it and not through myself. The vision plays out, and then my eyes are clear again."

"Interesting," she said after my explanation. She wrote something down, but it was short and quick as to not irritate me. She promptly set the pen down afterward and directed her full attention to me. "Can you tell me any more about the recent vision? Where the setting was, who was all there, what was all said?"

"Well, Cynthia and my friends Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, and Edward were all in her bedroom. My friends said that they called the house and my parents said I was sick and couldn't be visited, but they saw through that. They asked Cynthia where I really was. She told them that my parents said that I was "sick in the head" or something, and that she wasn't supposed to say anything about it. But they said they were worried about me, so she told them that I was at an asylum. The vision ended then, but I could tell that she would tell them the whole story."

She nodded to say that she was listening and that she understood. "Did your parents approve of your friends and sister visiting?"

"I actually don't know," I answered. "They didn't say and I didn't ask. I'll make sure to ask them today. They might have snuck Cynthia out or said that they were taking her somewhere and came here. Maybe they just didn't say that my parents didn't approve. Yeah, I'll have to ask."

It would be like Emmett or Rosalie to suggest something like that, and then getting the others to go with the plan. Cynthia would have been for it without persuasion, and Edward and Bella probably wouldn't have been too hesitant. I was honestly curious now if they told my parents the truth or not.

If they did inform them, my dad would never allow it if he could. He would probably call here and demand that they don't let them in. My stomach squeezed with panic. Then, I would talk to him somehow and maybe try to guilt him into letting them come. And that's just if they _did _tell. They were all capable of fibbing to my dad for a good reason except for Bella, but they could have just kept her quiet while the others- probably Rosalie and Edward mostly, since Mom and Dad kinda didn't like Emmett just because of his intimidating look and sense of humor- did most of the talking. I think they thought of what I just did, about my dad not letting them in, so they probably went with the safer Plan B. It was the better bet, even though Dad wouldn't like it at all if he found out about the deception.

Mrs. Stevens asked me about my life at home before I was sent here. She asked about how I got along with my family, and about school and my social life. I didn't see why she would need all of that information, but I gave her some anyway. Soon, it was time for me to go.

I hurried out of her room and down the hall towards the common room. Rachel was still there at the back table. She caught my eye, and I waved her over to where I was standing. She got up and moved her way around the other tables.

"Still up for breakfast?"

"Yeah." She smiled her smile that wasn't quite all there. We walked back to the cafeteria. I got a bowl and spoon, a carton of milk, and a mini box of cereal from the counter while she just grabbed a small bottle of orange juice.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.

"Not really," she replied. I shrugged and let her lead us to a table. She chose one in the back, like I figured she would, and I followed her to it. We sat down and ate our breakfasts. She asked about Cynthia, and I told her some basics about her. I threw in that my parents probably didn't know that she was coming. She asked why that was, and I went into that, too, including the vision I had. She seemed interested in my vision.

"I wish that I could see the future," she said. "That would be cool."

"I can't seem to look past the awful stuff about it, so I can't really tell," I said. "I guess it is kinda cool, in a way."

We carried on with other random conversation. I noticed that she barely drank any of her juice. I asked about it, but she just shrugged it off.

When it was five minutes until ten, Rachel had to go. I walked out with her but kept walking when she turned to go. I waved goodbye and then went to my room.

Two hours of time was hard to fill up, I realized, once I got to my room. I couldn't figure out what I should do to pass the time. I spent only fifteen minutes reading because I finished the last book I had. Thinking about what to do next took five minutes because I gave up on trying to think of what to do. One hour and forty minutes to go.

I finally decided to take a nap. I never really got any extra sleep with my life, so might as well try and get some now that I had time to. I burrowed under the covers, curled up, and closed my eyes.

_Aaaaaaliiiiiice. Aaaaaaliiiiiice. Wake up, Alice. ALICE!_

I shot up and nearly fell off the bed. Two big hands braced my shoulders to keep me from falling to the floor. I scooted back on my bed.

Rosalie, Edward, Bella, and Cynthia were chuckling. Emmett was completely laughing at me. "I hate you," I said with a mock glare.

"Do not," Emmett shot back childishly. I laughed and got off of the bed while combing my hair with my fingers. It didn't feel too unruly, so I was okay with it once I felt that it was flat.

"Let's get out of here," I said as I walked towards the door. They followed me to the common room and went with me to the same empty couches as yesterday. Rosalie curled up against Emmett's side, and I sat next to them. On the other couch, Edward and Bella were on the far end holding hands while Cynthia sat nearest me. Things almost felt normal when we were all here together.

They all talked about things that they didn't cover yesterday, and things that they had forgotten when the topic was up. Again, we laughed and talked and acted like immature and carefree teenagers. Once, the girl that had yelled at us for being in the hallway came over and told us to keep it down. When we said we would, she called us immature. While she was walking off, Emmett put his hands up to his mouth and made a loud, obnoxious noise. We all dissolved into laughter as she turned to glare at us. We didn't really see the point in fighting about the immaturity comment after that.

We kept up normal (but not any quieter) conversation. I was having fun and thinking that it was good to feel normal. Then my vision got blurry, and I sank into a surprise vision.

_Rosalie and I turned the corner to walk back into the common room, but we accidentally ran into someone. I fell down while the person we walked into stumbled over my legs and fell with me. Rosalie backed out of the way in time to not get hit._

_ "Are you guys okay?" Rosalie asked. I couldn't hold it back; I burst into hysterical giggles on the floor. Rosalie started laughing at me while I just laid on the floor and laughed. _

_ "Hey Jasper," I managed to say._

_ "Uh, hey, Alice… are you okay?" Jasper was sitting on the floor now instead of being sprawled across it._

_ "Yeah, I'm good." My giggles died down. "You?"_

_ "I'm fine." He stood up and held out a hand to me. I took it and pulled myself up. He glanced at Rosalie. "I'm sorry," he said, but then his slightly embarrassed and apologetic face turned into something like surprise. Rose looked confused, but then something spread across her face, too. Then it clicked for me._

My vision cleared. I blinked a couple of times, and looked back at the room in front of me. All of my friends and my sister were staring at me in confusion and worry.

"Are you okay?" Cynthia asked.

I nodded. "Yeah…"

"Wait," Emmett said. "Did you just… see the future?" He waved his open hands around in the air at the "see the future" part of his question to make it seem more dramatic.

I ignored his question, though. I thought back to the vision and what happened on it. "OH MY GOSH!"

"What?" several of my friends asked. I ignored them, too. I sprung up from the couch and dragged Rosalie up.

"Come on," I ordered.

"Where are we going?" she asked, bewildered by my sudden urgency.

"Uh, the bathroom. Come _on._"

Cynthia got up. "Do you want me and Bella to come?"

"No!" Everyone looked shocked, even some people that I didn't know that had heard my outburst. Cynthia looked hurt. "Trust me on this." She probably saw the mischievous glint in my eye that she said came across sometimes, because she nodded curiously and sat down. "Thanks." I yanked on Rosalie's arm again, and she almost had to run to keep up with me as I dragged her away.

"Alice, what's going on?"

"You'll see, just come on."

I kept glancing behind me as I went along. Rose was getting fed up with my secret, I could tell, but I wanted the whole thing to be a surprise.

At another glance, I did a double take. Henry was half turned in the hallway. He waved at someone, and then turned to go down the hall in the opposite direction of Rosalie and I. This had to be the time that Jasper would turn the corner, and we weren't there.

I made a sharp turn and pulled Rose with me. "Alice, what the hell are you doing?"

"Erm, I don't have to pee anymore. Come on, come on!"

"What's the hurry?" I didn't answer. Jasper hasn't showed up yet. What if we were too early? What if we were too late?

We were at the corner. Crap, what if this all went wrong somehow? Before my panic attack peaked, I ran smack into him. Hard. I slipped and fell, closing my eyes for the impact of the floor. I felt him trip over my legs and fall to the side. When everything was still, I opened my eyes.

Jasper was staring at me in horror and unsaid apologies choked him. "Oh- I- are-"

"Are you guys okay?" Rosalie asked. She was staring down at us, slightly shocked and concerned.

I burst out laughing. This whole thing was just somehow funny. I mean, I was just here, on the floor after I just tripped some guy. Rosalie looked confused, as did Jasper. Then, Rose started laughing along with me, or maybe at me. I didn't really care which; I just kept giggling.

"Hey, Jasper," I said in between the chuckles that had become my laughing fit.

"Uh, hey, Alice…" He said as he sat up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. You?"

"I'm fine." He stood up, and then held out a hand to me politely. I took it and hauled myself up with his help. He turned to Rosalie then. "I'm sorry." His mouth stayed open, but then he seemed to really look at her, and the words got stuck.

Rose looked confused for a moment, but then it was swept away with a twinge of anger. She must have taken the gawking the wrong way; it wasn't exactly rare that she was stared at by guys. She got pretty annoyed with it now.

Right on cue, Emmett came swooping in, about to tell him off for staring at his girlfriend. "Is there a problem?"

Jasper noticed him standing there and immediately looked terrified. "I-I, uh," was all he could get out. Rosalie was just watching with her arms crossed and stared at Jasper's scared face, but then her arms came loose and she blinked. She glanced at the floor where he just was and seemed to remember something. "Jasper?" she said.

He looked at her, still frightened. She looked straight at his eyes, which I noticed were the very same shade of deep blue as hers. Her eyes swept over his curly, honey blonde hair, which was only a shade or two darker than her own. I noticed that he was tall, too, just like her. That could have been nothing, but with the hair, eyes, and name, you could put the puzzle together.

"Jasper," she gasped. Her hands flew to her mouth and her eyes were wide.

"Rose," Jasper said. "Rosalie."

Emmett looked confused. "What…?"

Rosalie launched herself at Jasper and threw her arms around his neck in a hug. He looked shocked, but put his arms loosely around her. She was sobbing, so he patted her back comfortingly.

Emmett still looked confused. "Emmett," I said, "that's Jasper."

"Yeah, she said that, but…" the confusion faded as the realization came to him. "Oh, that's JASPER Jasper! Well, shit, why didn't somebody say somethin'?"

I laughed. I was there when Rosalie told Emmett about Jasper, her twin brother. She didn't really know where he was, or how he had changed over the years. It was crazy how they would finally meet again here of all places. I guess craziness brought people together sometimes.

_Or pushes them away. _I banished the thoughts before they could overtake me. There were more important things to think about now, like how JASPER AND ROSALIE MET AGAIN AND IT WAS ALL THANKS TO ME! Not to brag, but I practically made this whole wonderful fairy-tale thing happen!

Edward, Bella, and Cynthia were over with us now, curious as to what all of the commotion was all about. "It's Jasper!" I squealed. Edward and Bella's curious expressions cleared up into a shocked happiness, but Cynthia was still in the dark.

"Jasper?" she asked.

"Rosalie's twin brother," I explained. "They haven't seen each other or talked for years. But it looks like I brought them together!"

Rose pulled away from Jasper and wiped her streaming eyes. "You tripped," she said. "How did you do all this by tripping?"

I tapped my head. "Same reason why I'm here," I said.

"Holy crap!" Emmett exclaimed. "Is that what you… _saw_?" He held his spread hands up and moved them in circles to make the moment more dramatic again.

"Yup," I chirped.

"That is so COOL!"

Rosalie chuckled, but it turned into a scowl. "Oh, your shirt…" she swiped at the smeared makeup on Jasper's right shoulder that her tears had left.

"It's fine, really." He grinned, like, _really _grinned. His ocean blue eyes had been murky and dark in the depths, but that was gone, with brightness and light replacing it. "I'm just glad you're here, little sister."

"Ten minutes! I'm your little sister by _ten minutes._ You can't brag about that."

He laughed, light and carefree to match his brightening smile. "I'm older, so I say that I can."

"Not fair!" This earned another laugh from Jasper. It made me smile to see him so happy, after all that he had gone through.

We all sat down in our former positions, while Jasper pulled up a chair from an empty table. Everyone got introduced, and we all talked just like we had before Jasper came. All of the seriousness that he had was banished by the radiating happiness that took its place. He fit right into the group.

The happy buzz lasted for the rest of my day. Another vision had done some good. My parents loved Rosalie, so maybe if I told them what had happened, they would soften up on the whole "visions are bad" thought that they had pounded into their heads.

Maybe there was some hope for me and my family after all.

**So my friend (my darling Sebastian Silverhand) found a good beginning of a story, so I read it, and I agree :D The story Blue Rose has only one chapter, but I think that it'll go far. Obsidian Sparkle, the lovely author, is pretty new, and the story is good, so CHECK IT OUUUT!**

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**MORE author's note: I couldn't find the song to put on my playlist, so I guess if you wanna listen to it, go on Youtube. It's by Never Shout Never. **


	15. Breakdown

Chapter 15: Breakdown

JPOV

If I've ever said, "This is the happiest day of my life" in the past, then I would have to get a time machine and tell my younger self to just wait for this day and see what I had to say then, because this- seeing my sister, happy and surrounded by friends, after so long- was definitely the happiest day of my life.

I recognized Rosalie almost immediately after looking at her. It was the eyes that made me positive that this was my baby sister. We had the exact same ocean blue eyes that we got from our mother. Of course she looked different, but then again she never changed. Even when she was nine, she had a graceful air to her. She was never a little clumsy kid. She was tall and strong and beautiful. Sometimes I had felt inadequate standing next to her, what with her being able to stand strong and proud while I was awkward and gangly, but never did I feel that when my parents were there. When they looked at us both, I could see the pride shining in their eyes that never dimmed when they went from her to me.

At first, seeing her again, I was scared for her. Her eyes were guarded and unfriendly when she had looked at me. I was afraid that she had walked down the same path as I had; never truly getting over the death of our parents and just barely making it through a life of permanent unhappiness and depression.

A friend of Rosalie's came over. He was huge, even bigger than the football players that I knew from school. "Is there a problem here?" he asked in an intimidating and deep voice. I knew that he might have backed off immediately if I had said something, told him what was going on, but I could only sputter.

I was disappointed that she hadn't recognized me like I had her. Had she almost totally forgotten me? But then she seemed to really look at me. She blinked, and the shield on her eyes went away. "Jasper?"

My heart had jumped then. She looked me over thoroughly. I wanted to nod, but I was frozen where I stood. She gasped my name again, this time not in question, and her hands went up to her mouth and her eyes widened in surprise.

I had found my voice by then. "Rose. Rosalie."

The next thing I knew, she was hugging me and crying. I was caught off guard at first, but I wrapped my arms around her and tried to make up for all of the times I could never comfort her like I was doing then into that one hug. I think she understood.

"I missed you," she whispered into my shoulder. I patted her back. I wasn't sure if she still knew what I said through my gestures like when we were little, but I hoped that our link didn't break. There was too much between us that had been lost.

She kept sobbing. Her friend looked confused at what was going on. Maybe Rosalie hadn't told anyone about me. Maybe she was ashamed.

Alice, who was beaming, got his attention. "Emmett, that's Jasper."

"Yeah, she said that, but…" he seemed to realize something. "Oh, that's JASPER Jasper! Well, shit, why didn't somebody say somethin'?"

Alice laughed, light and carefree, as I felt a sense of relief. So she wasn't ashamed of me, and she didn't forget me. She was with me now. I got to have a little piece of my fractured family back.

Three other people came over to us. One of them stood out; she was shorter and younger-looking. Her hair was long and black, and she basically looked like a miniature Alice. So if that was Cynthia, who were the other two?

"It's Jasper!" Alice squealed excitedly. The older two that came along, who looked about my age, had looked confused, but then they looked surprised and happy.

Cynthia's confusion stayed in place. "Jasper?" she asked, staring at me in confusion.

"Rosalie's twin brother," Alice clarified. "They haven't seen each other or talked for years. But it looks like I brought them together!"

I figured that what she meant by bringing us together was simply being here. Rosalie let me go and wiped the tears off of her face. "You tripped. How did you do this by tripping?"

Alice tapped her head with her index finger. "Same reason why I'm here," she said with a sly smile.

"Holy crap!" Emmett shouted. "Is that what you… _saw?_" He waved his hands around in the air.

"Yup," Alice replied.

"That is so COOL!" Emmett yelled.

Rosalie's friends all smiled. She did too, but it turned into a frown. "Oh, your shirt," she said before I could ask why she was frowning. There was smeared makeup on the shoulder she had cried on.

She cared about the littlest things sometimes. I, however, could care less about the stupid, plain white shirt I was forced to wear. I never thought I would care about my clothes until I wasn't wearing what I wanted. I couldn't help but think that her makeup gave me a little revenge against the dumb shirt.

"It's fine, really." I felt the corners of my mouth go up into a smile. It had been so long since I've smiled like that. I couldn't remember the last time I had actually smiled instead of faking one for other people's benefit. "I'm just glad you're here, little sister."

I knew that the comment would annoy her. "Ten minutes!" she shouted. "I'm your little sister by _ten minutes._ You can't brag about that."

I laughed. It was so strange to laugh, even stranger than smiling had been. It felt good, though, like looking at a pretty color after not seeing it for so long. "I'm older, so I say that I can."

"Not fair!" she pouted. I laughed again, and it felt just as good as the first time had. I noticed that Alice was smiling and her eyes were lit up. She had been upset about me not having friends, and it must have made her feel great to see me reunited with my sister again. I had to admit, this really _was _all because of her.

We all decided to sit down. They all sat on two couches while I pulled up a chair from an empty table to sit at. I was introduced to Emmett, Bella, Edward, and Cynthia. After that, it was easy enough to laugh and talk with my sister's friends. They were nice people, and I was glad that Rosalie had such great friends that really seemed to care about her.

I was also happy for Alice. She had been worried about her friends leaving her all alone, but it seemed like that was the farthest thing from their minds. They didn't treat her any differently from what I could tell. It seemed like everyone was happy.

I guess I should have seen Jonathan coming to ruin it.

He appeared beside me suddenly. I managed not to jump in surprise and alert anyone. I kept my eyes on the others and tried to ignore Jonathan.

"Don't get too comfortable," he said. "They won't stay for long. How long do you think you can hide? You already told the girl. It's only a matter of time before she knows that something's wrong with you. Her little friends accepted her, but you certainly don't think that they'll do the same for you, a stranger."

I had a million things to say to him. _You don't know them. They're not like that. I'm not hiding, because like you said, I already told Alice. I'm not afraid. It's my sister and her friends, they'll understand. They won't abandon me. You can't break me down. _

Of course, I could say none of these things while people were around. I also saw the flaws in my retorts and the points I couldn't argue in what he said. I _was_ a stranger to them. I didn't really know them, either. They might try to understand because I was their friend's brother, but they might not be able to. Alice seemed to be okay with it when I told her about hallucinating, but she doesn't know how I react when he's there at the moment. She might not be able to take all of the problems I have.

"You know that I'm right," Jonathan sneered. "I'm always right. You can deny it all you want, but I know you. I know them. Teenagers are all alike."

_You don't know anything. _I knew that he could see my doubts and that he _was _right in some places. He was inside my head. He knew my weaknesses. There was no hiding.

"Jasper," Rosalie said suddenly. "Jasper, are you okay?"

I snapped back to attention. The others were staring at me in concern. I hadn't noticed that my hands were balled into tight fists that made my fingers ache. I loosened them and stretched them out. Jonathan was gone again.

"Uh, yeah," I said. "Sorry. Must have zoned out." Rosalie nodded, and everyone got back into the flow of conversation. All except for Alice. She was still staring at me in concern, but there seemed to also be some kind of knowledge in her eyes.

Maybe she simply thought that something was on my mind. Maybe she knew that I was hallucinating. Maybe I was imagining the knowing look I thought she had. I could make up "maybe" scenarios for a lot of things, but they wouldn't get me anywhere.

Alice looked away. "Oh, hey, I wanna ask you guys something."

"Sure, what is it?" Edward asked as everyone's attention shifted.

"So, did you guys tell my parents that you were coming?"

"Naw," Emmett said with a mischievous grin. "We said that we were goin' to the park today. Yesterday we just said we were goin' out. It was all secretive and devious." He chuckled and rubbed his hands together.

"Did you want us to tell them?" Bella asked. "We thought you might not want them to know…"

"It's fine," Alice assured them. "I don't really know if I think they should know or not. They might make you guys stop coming is what I'm afraid of." She paused thoughtfully. "I don't wanna risk it. Just keep it a secret." The others nodded at her request.

"She looks a little young to be here," Cynthia said abruptly. "She doesn't look any older than me." The others turned to see a little girl, who did look about Cynthia's age, in the hall.

"Rachel!" Alice called. The girl jumped, looking alarmed. She saw Alice, though, and she calmed down. Alice was waving her over to us. Rachel hesitated, but then came.

"Guys, this is my friend Rachel," Alice said when Rachel was standing nervously at her side. "Rachel, this is Emmett, Rosalie, Cynthia, Edward, Bella, and Jasper." As she pointed us out, we all said "hi" or waved. Rachel gave a meek little wave, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"You can sit down," Alice said. Edward and Bella moved over to the end of the couch more to leave a gap for Rachel to sit beside Cynthia. She went and sat down shyly.

"Hi," Cynthia said with a hint of shyness.

"Hi," Rachel muttered.

We got back into easy conversation again. Rachel just sat and listened, but eventually she was laughing with us a little bit. Alice noticed, and it made her smile.

After awhile, Rosalie and her friends had to go. They said that they told Alice's parents that they wouldn't keep Cynthia for too long.

"Give me a hug, big brother," Rosalie said as she got up. I gave her a quick but strong hug to try and tell her that I would miss her through it. "I'll be back soon," she assured me. "Think you can hold on?"

"I'll try," I replied with a smile. She smiled before leaving with the others.

"That's the last you'll see of them."

Looks like Jonathan was just taking a break.

Alice and Rachel were still sitting, and I didn't just want to leave them suddenly, especially not when Alice had given me that look earlier. "I have to go," I said as I got up and replaced the chair I was sitting on to the empty table.

"What for?" Alice asked.

"Uh, I'm just tired," I lied.

"Lying?" Jonathan taunted. "That's not very nice."

I glared at him for a quick second, hoping that Alice didn't see. My hopes were wasted; she was looking at me in concern now.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked quietly as she got up.

"Nothing, really," I said. Hopefully I sounded convincing enough for her to drop it.

"You can tell me."

"There's nothing to tell," I pressed on. "Really." I hated lying to her, but I didn't want her to be caught up in my problems.

"Well aren't you the selfless one?" Jonathan asked sarcastically. "Lying to help others." He laughed, as if the thought of that was a joke. To him, it probably was. In his mind, lying wasn't meant for kindness, but for deception and harm. It was meant as a tool to break people down.

As if reading my thoughts, he said, "Trying to figure me out? Good luck trying to get into my head. It's not as easy as it seems to be."

"I have to go," I repeated. Alice looked like she wanted to ask more, but she sat back down and let me go. I hurried out of the room and walked briskly down the hall.

"You can't run from your problems forever! Or haven't you learned?"

"Shut up," I growled lowly so no one else would overhear. The halls were pretty much empty, but I really didn't want to risk it.

"Oh, _now _you're taking action?" I made it to my room and slammed the door. I turned, and he was there. "I guess you think you're a big man now, talking up to your elders."

"You're not my elder," I said while trying to mask my annoyance. "And you think that you're the man here? You come, taunt me, and then leave. You say that I run away? You're no better than me."

"That's where you're wrong, Jasper," he said in a low voice. "I'm stronger than you, stronger in every way possible. Physically, obviously; emotionally, because I feel no pity or regret for what I do to people who deserve it; and with my arguments. Some things you say back to me aren't true, and you know it."

"Strength alone doesn't make a person better," I replied.

"That's where you're wrong. Strength is key. Without it, you could do anything else, be anyone else, take on anything else, but you'll crumble eventually. Like you did."

"Shut up, just _shut up._" That was all I could think of to say, because he had me cornered. He smiled smugly. He knew that he had won. Again.

"Why do you even _try _to argue? You know that you can't win against me, because _I'm stronger._ If you would listen to me, you might smarten up."

"So you're calling me weak _and _stupid?"

"You would know if you had listened, wouldn't you?"

I turned and hit the wall with my forearms. "Shut UP."

He was quiet. I turned back around to find that he was gone. He got what he wanted. He won, and then he left, because there was no reason to stay afterwards.

I fell onto my bed on my back and rubbed my aching arms. Hitting the wall wasn't the smartest thing to do, but people usually figure that out when they had already done it. Learning from their mistakes.

How long would this go on? How many days would he come into my life, make me drop everything just so he can win, and then disappear so I could sulk?

I feared that the answer was until I was completely broken. Until I completely crumbled.

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	16. Move Along

**I couldn't get to this until about seven where I live, and it wasn't done yet, so I'm MAKING myself get it done so I can upload it tonight.**

Chapter 16: Move Along

APOV

Monday morning, back in therapy. Great.

It's been a week in the asylum, and I still hated it. I did find some bright points, like visits from my friends, making two new friends, and Jasper and Rosalie's reunion, but the bliss that that had given me over the weekend had faded when I got up this morning. I was still happy for all that the weekend had brought, but it didn't take away any hatred I had for the place. It was like there was two meters: one for positivity, and one for negativity. The weekend had added to positivity, but negativity still towered over it.

Mrs. Stevens sat at her chair with her notepad and pen. It was out of the way some, but still there. At least she was trying to do what I asked and not take so many annoying notes. They just added pressure, and I couldn't concentrate.

"To start," she began, "is there anything that you would like to say?"

"I had another vision," I declared proudly. This was an awesome vision, so I would tell her this one right away, no "forgetting."

"What was it about?" She stayed neutral instead of the curious excitement I thought she might have been triggered by my reaction, like my mom and friends did. Sure, my therapist had to be a little more professional than them, but maybe a little hint of excitement?

"Well, it was of me and Rosalie. We were walking back into the common room when I ran into Jasper. Rose and Jasper saw each other, and they realized that they were brother and sister." I was beaming with pride at the end. She _had _to see my side in this at least a little bit after telling her that.

"They realized it?" Mrs. Stevens asked. She still didn't really react how I thought she would to what I said.

"Well, they got separated in foster care and all that, and they lost touch, but I brought them back together, basically."

"Don't you think that they would have found each other eventually, with or without a vision?"

"Well, I'm also here, and Rosalie was visiting me, so I still had a part in it, I guess."

"Oh. Okay then." She wrote a short note on her paper. What, was she disappointed or something? Did she want to think that I did nothing to help them? Did she think that my visions were bad, too, like my dad did?

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. I tried not to sound sassy or bratty, because I really didn't want to come off that way.

She blinked. "Do you think that I was implying something?" She seemed stunned that I would think such a thing, like that she would never have a bad thought about anyone. Maybe I _was _overreacting. Was I that desperate to not like her?

"I don't know," I answered.

"Alice, I won't judge you," she assured me. "I'm here to hear you out, and to help you. You can trust me."

I knew that she was supposed to say stuff like that. She's listening, and that she's there for me, and that I can trust her. Because of that, I didn't know if she really meant that or if she was saying it because she was required to. It was a little confusing for me.

"You look like you don't believe me," Mrs. Stevens accused.

"I don't know," I sighed.

"Is there anything that I can do to get you to trust me? Because trust is key here, and you need to trust me so I can help you."

I thought that over. _Was _there anything she could do? Usually, I just hang out with people, and trust just naturally builds. There was nothing she could really do than be… well, trustworthy, really. "There's really nothing extra you can do."

She nodded. "Alright then. Is there anything else you want to add along with the vision?"

I thought for a minute. For my parents to know that my visions are good, they have to know about them and what they do. "Can I talk to my parents?"

"Well, I could call them and arrange time on the phone, if you would like me to," she suggested.

"No. I have to see them in person." The phone wouldn't cut it. I had to sit them down and tell them about the visions. I should also ask why they were avoiding me, while I was at it. This had to be a face-to-face thing. "Please?"

"I'll call them to come in for one of your sessions right after you leave and before my next patient," Mrs. Stevens said. "How's that?"

"That would be great, thank you." Hopefully, Mrs. Stevens would say something that would assure my dad that coming to see me would be the best thing.

"Would you like your sister to come, too?" Mrs. Stevens asked. "I could make it a family session, if you would like."

"Uh, sure," I replied. Now that I thought about it, I was a little scared at the thought of being alone with my parents and my therapist. Cynthia could keep me comfortable and give me some support. If anyone could back me up on getting out of here, Cynthia could. Besides, she would be happy to be involved with all of this and help me out. She hated being left out where she could help, like I did. "Okay, thanks."

"Happy to help," she said with a smile.

She asked me some more questions for the rest of the session, mostly about my family, and then some about my friends. When there was only ten minutes left in the session, she said that I could leave early so that she could call my dad. I thanked her and left the room.

I went to the cafeteria after that so I could get some breakfast. When I got there, I saw that I didn't have to eat alone; Jasper was at the food counter and getting an orange. He saw me come in and smiled. There was still a glimmer in his eyes from yesterday.

I skipped over to him, smiled, and looked over the food. I took an apple and a bottle of orange juice. "How's your morning been?" I asked.

"Pretty good," he answered cheerfully. "You?" We walked towards an empty table together. He motioned for me to choose, so I sat down at a table that was between the middle and the back of the room.

"Well, Mrs. Stevens said that she would call my parents and sister in for a family session."

"Is that good?" Jasper asked.

"What I'm going to try and do," I replied, "is try and convince my parents to let me leave. I think that Cynthia could help me, and I'm going to tell them about my visions. They've always liked your sister, so maybe telling them the vision about you and her reuniting will convince them."

"That's great," Jasper said. He had hesitated, though, and his voice was soft and thoughtful. "I hope it works out for you."

"What's wrong?" I asked. I hoped that he would tell me this time and wouldn't brush me off like yesterday.

He sighed. "It's stupid, really." He grinned to break the seriousness in his face. "You just worry too much, darlin'," he added, which brought out a southern accent.

I giggled at the name, but then got serious. "I'm sure it's not stupid, Jasper. You can tell me."

He looked me in the eyes and must have seen something in them that told him that I was trustworthy. "If you left… it's just…" He looked at the table and grinned nervously. "It's just that I would miss you." He looked back up at me with a hint of a smile in his eyes that was mixed with something else.

"That's not stupid," I chuckled, smiling back. He would really miss me? A warm, fuzzy feeling sat comfortably in the bottom of my stomach.

Suddenly, something in his eyes changed. His oceanic blue eyes froze over and darkened, and his shoulders seemed to go a little stiff with tension. He broke our eye contact and stared at the orange on the table. He picked it up and spun it around slowly in his hands.

He looked back up at me guiltily. Why he was guilty, I didn't know. "What's wrong?" I asked again. A crease formed in between his eyebrows and he looked down so he could think. I waited patiently as my curiosity grew. What was so hard to tell me?

After a minute, he took a deep breath. "You know how I said I hallucinated?" I nodded and waited for him to be ready to go on. "Well… he's here. I'm seeing him now."

I glanced around, like I could actually see him. I looked back at him to find that he was looking up at me again. His eyes swam with nervousness. He had already told me that he hallucinated, so why did he look so worried?

"Are you okay?" I asked. I hoped that it wasn't hurting him to see his parents' killer.

"Yeah," he answered, sounding slightly surprised. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Why do you sound surprised?"

He was hesitant again. "I was afraid that you would get freaked out or something. I know I already told you about my hallucination," he added when he saw that I was about to interject, "but hearing about it and being there when it happens can be different. I wasn't sure how you would take it."

"You thought that I would stop hanging out with you? Jasper, I would never do that." My voice was soft and reassuring. "You accepted what I can do, and I accept what you do."

"I guess it was ridiculous to think that," he said, and he hung his head in shame.

"It's perfectly normal to be scared of rejection," I said. "When I saw the vision of my friends, I thought they would think that I was a freak and shut me out. But they didn't because good friends don't do that. I want to be a good friend."

He raised his head and smiled. "Thanks, Alice." He held my gaze, and when I thought that his eyes were back to normal, they froze up again. "He's just so _annoying,_" he muttered. "I don't know how to get rid of him and I don't see how therapy will help. I trust Dr. Hetzer, though, and I'm sure that he knows what he's doing." He paused, and then went rigid again. He sighed. "Alice, it seems like the only way to get rid of him is to talk to him. I'm going to go."

"I understand," I sighed. "I hope that everything gets better for you."

"Me too, Alice," he replied while standing. "See you later. And I really do hope it goes well with you and your family."

"Thanks. Bye." He took his uneaten orange and put it back on the table with the other fruit and walked out of the cafeteria.

I sighed again and ate my breakfast. Guess I figured out why he left yesterday. It must be hard for an annoying hallucination to pop in any moment that you have to deal with.

I would help him in any way that I could. He deserved happiness, and that's what I would get him. I would help him move on and get through this.

**Not a long one, but it's got some important points. And I have time to read before So You Think You Can Dance :D**

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	17. Somewhere I Belong

**I just remembered that it was Sunday, and then I freaked out because I thought that I didn't have the chapter done. I was thinking of the next one, so no worries.**

Chapter 17: Somewhere I Belong

JPOV

On Tuesday morning, I got up and began to get ready for the day. My mind went back to yesterday with Alice. My worries about her not wanting to be my friend were pointless to think. I also told her that Jonathan was there, which I thought would be the thing to finally beat him, confiding in someone else. But it wasn't.

"Well isn't that cute?" he had taunted. "So she knows, and now you're best friends. What a fairy tale ending." Why he said ending, I didn't know, because this whole thing is far from over. "She won't stay," he continued. "She'll get sick of you and your problems. You'll see."

_How would you know? _I wanted to shout at him. But I held back and focused on Alice. She would never leave. Like she said, she wanted to be a good friend, and she would be. I could see it in her that she was determined.

We talked more while I tried to ignore Jonathan commenting on everything we said. He got worked up when I said that I trusted Dr. Hetzer. "You think that some stupid therapist can help you? He doesn't know what he's doing, he just thinks he's so smart because he has a degree!"

I told Alice that I had to go after that. I had to deal with him. She understood and let me go.

I had gotten rid of him like any other time: He won, and then left.

I would have to tell Dr. Hetzer about that. Maybe he would know how I could beat him and make him go away. At least, I hoped that he knew.

When there was only five minutes until my session, I headed down to his office. Maybe Alice would be at breakfast again when I went after my session. It was always nice to have her there, someone who understood a little bit to talk to. She really was a good friend.

I knocked on the closed door, and went in when I heard Dr. Hetzer call me in. He greeted me with a smile from behind his desk and moved over to his chair. I took my place on the sofa.

"Good morning, Jasper," he said.

"Good morning," I replied.

"Have anything to start us off?"

I sighed and thought of how to begin. "He came back yesterday, while I was talking to someone."

"Who were you talking to?" he asked curiously. The thing that I liked about him is that he seemed interested in what I had to say, and because he wanted to hear it instead of it just being his job. It made me remember what Alice had asked her therapist, about why she wanted to be a therapist. I would have to ask Dr. Hetzer later.

"Alice," I replied. I had talked about her more because of her vision on Sunday.

"Why do you think he interrupted?"

"I don't know," I replied. "I thought it was just when I was stressed or mad, but I wasn't any of those when I was talking to her. I was happy talking to her."

"Well, what were you talking about? If it's not too personal or anything," he added to the end. He never pushed me, either, which I liked.

"It's fine. She was telling me that she would try to convince her parents to let her out of here, and I told her that I would miss her if she left. That's when he came."

I watched him make some notes and think. "Maybe he comes when it's most inconvenient," he said. "When you're mad, he really does nothing to help that, and the same goes when you're stressed, and then when you're happy, he would come to ruin that."

Dread filled me. So there was a possibility that Jonathan could haunt me when it would be the best for him and the worst for me? I couldn't let that happen. "How do I make him go away?' I asked desperately. "I can't live like this forever."

"I know, Jasper, and I promise you that I'm trying my hardest to help you," he assured calmly. It wasn't so calm as to make me wonder if he actually cared, because there was truth threaded into his promise. "I'm trying to help you figure this out, but you're one of my more difficult patients. It will take some time."

"Of course," I said. "These things do. Besides, you have other people to think about, too. I'll be patient."

Dr. Hetzer smiled. "Difficult, but understanding, polite, and patient. That's hard to come by. I'm lucky; us therapists get to talking, and I've heard of some kids that just don't cooperate."

I smiled along with him. "Thank you," I said. "And I know you're trying. It means a lot." The question I remembered earlier popped into my head again. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he replied. "It's only fair, right, with all of the questions I've asked you?"

I grinned. "I guess so. Well, Alice actually said that she asked her therapist this, and it made me curious. What made you want to be a therapist?"

He looked pleasantly surprised. "I've only gotten that question once or twice before, as have the people I work with," he said, "probably because patients make their own assumptions that usually make us seem worse than we are. You said Alice asked this?"

"Yes."

"She seems like a clever girl. But, back to your question, the reason I became a therapist was because I, myself, needed therapy."

"Why?" I pressed.

He instantly became somber. "Well, it happened when I was sixteen. I had just gotten my license, and I was so excited. I was the first of my friends to get one, so we went out." His eyes began to glaze over as he retold the experience. "It was dark when I headed back to my house with them. I had called my mom, and she was worried. She told me to be careful." He smiled a sad, wistful smile. "I said, 'Don't worry so much, Mom, I'm not a little kid anymore.' I had honestly thought that I was invincible because I could legally drive a car.

"I had wanted to show off. It was a nice car, fast and new. We had the radio up loud as we zoomed down the dark road. I made a sharp turn onto my road. I was so close to home. I had only taken my eyes off of the road for a second, and my friend had hit my arm just as a semi was going to pass us. We swerved in front of it. It hit us head on."

I stayed completely silent as he paused. His eyes were still dry, but they were also vacant, as if he was simply speaking and not feeling. I preferred it that he didn't cry, though. I wouldn't know what to do if he did.

"None of us wore seatbelts," he continued softly. "Really, it's a miracle that I'm alive. I did lapse into a coma because of a head injury. When I woke up about a month later, I didn't remember anything about the accident. While he did some tests to see if there was any brain damage, the doctor asked me what the last thing I remembered was. I said that it was driving around with friends, and that I had just gotten my license. Then I asked where the guys were.

"My parents just stared at me, fear in their wide eyes. I knew something was wrong then. I asked again. It was my dad who told me that my four best friends were dead."

My eyes widened. Dr. Hetzer didn't look up from the floor, and his eyes didn't focus again. They portrayed a pang of pain this time, but stayed downcast and distant.

"He told me that two of them died on impact; Trevor in the passenger seat and Ian in the back. Lucas got hit by glass and parts of the car that came loose. One shard punctured his left lung. That, along with blood loss, killed him eventually.

"Patrick lived for another two and a half weeks. He was in a coma far deeper than mine, and he had to be put on life support. After no improvement, his parents took him off of it. They couldn't afford the hospital bill as it was.

"I was devastated," his said. His voice cracked, but no tears came. "I was the cause of the accident. I should have listened to my mom and been more careful. I was an only child, so I spent most of my time with my friends. They had become my brothers. And I killed them."

I wanted to say something to make him feel better, but my mind was void of any helpful words. There was nothing I could tell him that he probably hadn't heard already.

"We were a popular group of kids, back in high school. A lot of people liked us, liked them. They all felt pain at their loss. When I went back to school, I got a mix of things. From some I got pity, and from other I got hate. Those people who hated me blamed me for their deaths and made me feel even worse about it. I didn't think that would be possible, but they did.

"Trevor had a girlfriend at the time, but it wasn't a deep relationship. But Patrick, _he_ had a serious relationship. It was with a beautiful girl that went to our school. She was shy, and I didn't think that he would like her as much, because he was as loud and energetic as the rest of us. But they hit it off. He told me that they were in love. I didn't buy into that at first because they were just as young as I was, but then I really looked at them together. I saw it, and then I believed it.

"A few days after I came back, she talked to me alone. She told me that she visited Patrick every day in the hospital. She talked to him, even though the doctors said that his coma was too severe for him to hear any of it. She talked anyway. She also said that she and Pat talked about getting married right after they graduated college."

He swallowed. He was still staring at the floor, but his eyes were back into focus and shining with a layer of unshed tears. His voice became thick. "I thought she was telling me that to make me feel guilty. I thought she would never forgive me for what I had done. I asked her, 'Why are you doing this? I know it's my fault.' She told me that it wasn't my fault. She didn't blame me. I think that in some ways, that was worse."

He looked up suddenly and blinked. "I've gotten a little off topic, haven't I? I'm sorry."

"No," I said. "Just keep going, if you want."

"Well, I never really got better. I became depressed, and I shut everything out. I was void of all emotion, because I thought that it would be easier that way. I wouldn't feel the pain of it all. My mother and father noticed. That's when they sent me to therapy.

"I didn't like my therapist. I didn't trust him. I wouldn't open up to him. I didn't get better, and I wondered why. I thought that it was his fault, when it was entirely my own. After two months of no progress, they sent me to another therapist. At first, I treated him the same as the last. I thought it wouldn't be any different, but it was. He was patient with me, and nothing like my old therapist.

"I began to trust him. As our trust built, I got better. I opened back up to emotion, and I made peace with myself. I could never thank him enough for that, but all he said was, 'I don't do it for praise. I do it for forgiveness.' When I asked him why he would need forgiveness, he just said that he's made mistakes in his life. By helping others, he forgives himself for what he's done.

"Even though he didn't tell me what he had done in the past, it made me feel better. I had never thought of the other people and their problems that they faced. I felt like I wasn't alone. He had brought me out of a dark, lonely place. I felt like I had connected with him. I wanted to be like him. I wanted forgiveness for myself, and to be the one to help people out of their own dark places. That's why I chose to be a therapist."

I was silent after he was done. I couldn't look him in the eye after what he told me about his painful past. "So… do you feel forgiven?"

"Yes," he answered, "I have begun to forgive myself."

"I'm sorry that I made you tell me. It must have been hard telling me."

"No, it's relieving, really. I'm glad you know." He looked at the clock. "We're out of time for today. I'll see you Thursday."

I simply nodded and left. My appetite was gone, so I headed back to my room. My mind never left Dr. Hetzer's story, especially the end, with his own therapy. I had felt like a freak all of this time because of my past. I was in that dark place. But, he pulled me out and brought me to a place I belonged.

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	18. Fences

**Here's a surprise for you, my lovely little lambs.**

Chapter 18: Fences

Jarrett POV

When my eyes opened Wednesday morning, I stared at the white ceiling and waited to feel something. First, anger, because I was expecting the plain white walls instead of the poster clad walls of my own room. Next, dread flooded through my chest and mixed with the anger, because it was group therapy day. Then, sadness washed in and threatened to flood my entire body, overwhelm it, and pour out through tears. I closed my eyes again and shut the dams. This was the only time that I allowed myself to feel sadness besides when I came back here at the end of the day to sleep. I refused to feel it in between.

I opened my eyes again and got out of bed. The only evidence of the nightmare that I couldn't suppress was the sheen of sweat that made my face and back slick. I went into the bathroom and started the water in the shower. A perk in this hellhole: my own bathroom. I had to pound on the door at home and wait for one of my three younger sisters to get out.

I squashed the memory. Memories were tainted now, and I had forbidden myself from bringing them up. I would slip up often, but I've gotten better. It's harder to keep them down when I see my infuriating but wonderful little sisters every weekend. My mother would smile as they ran up to me and gave me hugs. Then I would hug her, and ask how she was doing.

Then he would come into view. He would hold his arms open for a hug, too, like it was natural. And I had to do it, because if I didn't, my mom and sisters would get suspicious. So I would give him a hug, no matter how much I was screaming inside. Then he would say, "I missed you, son."

I shook my head hard and got into the shower. The cold water felt nice against my clammy, sweaty skin. I washed the sweat off of my skin and out of my hair. Once there were no more suds in my hair from shampoo, I shut the water off and got out of the shower. I shivered as I wrapped a towel around my waist. Then I got dressed in the mandatory plain white clothes (pity, it's my most unflattering color), brushed my teeth, and left the bathroom.

I had three minutes to get to therapy. Well, it's been worse, with worse being that I slept until noon when therapy was at ten. Apparently, they tried to wake me up. Huh.

I left the room and made my way down the hall. At least I didn't nearly die of boredom from the lack of colors out here. There were splashes of blues from the staff, and sea green wallpaper stretching down the hall to match the floor tiles. I still didn't like the colors, but it was better than the monotonous white of my room.

The other people in my group therapy session stared at me when I arrived late. "Nice of you to join us, Jarrett," Jenny said in her weird sarcastic way. It was weird because her voice was still all sweet and crap. It was almost unnatural.

I just sighed in response and took the only seat left, which was between my best friend Jenny, and Will, who was much too depressing for conversation. "Anyway," she continued, "we'll be pairing you up again today, but with different partners."

The way I translated that sentence was, "Anyway, we're feeling pretty lazy today, so we'll just pair you up so we don't have to do anything. Have fun."

"Okay, the groups are…," she consulted a paper on her clipboard, "Shane and Will, Michelle and Tyler, Erin and Jasper, Steve and Mark, and Alice and Jarrett."

Okay, I'm paired with Alice. Alice, Alice… crap. Which one was Alice again? I went by the girls' nicknames: The Annoying One, The Crier, and The Small One. The Small One was newer than the others, I knew that much…

The Small One came up to me and shyly waved. I guess she had a better memory than I did. Will, who was sitting beside me when I got here, had gotten up and crossed the room to sit by Shane. The Small One, or Alice, sat down and preceded to look awkward.

"So," I said to break the awkward silence, "what's wrong with you?" Hopefully this one could take a joke.

She looked at me like I just said something offensive. Weird. "Why does something have to be _wrong _with me?"

I blinked, then looked around pointedly. "Oh, I don't know… the fact that you're in a _nuthouse_?"

She cracked a smile. "My parents may think that something's wrong with me, but I don't. I think it's a good thing."

"Would you mind elaborating? Because I don't get it."

"I can see the future."

… Interesting. "And you don't count that as crazy?"

"The first time I saw the future, I stopped two subway trains from crashing. They have proof that it would have happened if I didn't stop it."

Now it was _really _interesting. "Really? That's kinda cool, not gonna lie."

"I wish my dad thought like you," she muttered bitterly. "He thought I was evil or something. He won't even come to see me. I have to make my therapist get him here."

I didn't say anything. She made me think about my own dad. She had to make her dad come here? I couldn't make mine stay away. He was the whole reason I was in this hellhole in the first place. It was only one of the many reasons I hated him.

"I can't get my dad to leave me the hell alone."

She looked at me like I was crazy. "Why wouldn't you want him to visit? He's you're father."

"Just because he's my dad by blood doesn't mean he's my father," I snapped. "Not anymore, after what he did."

"What did he do?"

I really didn't want to go over my daddy issues. I didn't tell anyone why I was here; not my therapist Mrs. Stevens, not my group therapists, and not these other kids. I would have told a lie to them, anyway. I would never tell anyone the truth, no matter how much I wanted to. My dad would kill me.

"My therapist said that it's better to talk about it," Alice said as she saw me hesitate.

I chuckled dryly. "Who's this intelligent therapist of yours?"

"Mrs. Stevens. I saw you walking out of her room while I was going there."

Oh yeah, now I remembered. I scoffed again before I got up and turned my chair around so I could lean against the back of it. "Now, the thing about therapists is that they'll say anything to you to make you spill your guts. Did she say something about you getting out of here faster if you talk about it?"

Her eyes flashed with recognition. I had her there. She looked down at the floor and simply gave a stiff "yes."

I smiled smugly. "And how would you know if talking would make it go faster? You have nothing to compare it to." There was another flash in her eyes. Two points for Jarrett, boo-yah. Kidding, only douches say "boo-yah" after stuff like that.

"How long have _you_ been here?" she asked.

Damn.

"That's different," I retorted. She was the one smiling smugly now. Stupid Short One.

"And how would you be different?"

"Why do you want to know?" I growled. I kept my voice low so the others wouldn't hear.

"Because I'm curious, I guess." She didn't seem fazed by my outburst. "It seems like it's bothering you."

"Yeah, it is," was all I could say. What else _was_ there to say? I sure as hell wasn't telling her my story…

"So," she said after a silent minute, "are we just gonna sit here and do nothing then?"

I shrugged. I didn't know this girl, so I didn't know what else we could talk about that wouldn't make me want to kill myself. When I was paired with The Annoying One once, she just went on and on and on and on and on and on and oooon-

"Have you told anyone about why you're here?" Alice the Short One asked. You _could _just call her Alice… but where's the fun in that, really? I would have to tell her about her nickname. She seemed like the type of person who hated to be reminded that they were about half an inch too tall to be a midget. I always had fun with those people.

Oh yeah, Short One asked a question. "Nope," I said lightly. I didn't want to lure her in with my sexy mysteriousness. I had that affect on people. So I kept to the shallow waters of conversation, because I didn't want her seeing the murky depths of what is Jarrett Moore. That, and she was too short to stand anywhere that wasn't shallow.

"Not even a therapist?"

"Psh," I… pshed. Sure, pshed. It works. "I'm not telling _her _anything. That broad's just in it for the money. If anything else, she has some "thrill of the chase" obsession that she decided to make a living out of. You won't believe how pissed she is with me."

"Pissed at _you_?" she said sarcastically. "I find that hard to believe. You seem delightful."

"I know, right? Some people… by the way, I didn't miss that you said nothing about what I think of her." She thinks that she can distract me that easily? No way. The only one with that power was myself.

She didn't answer, but she did find something on the floor that was quite interesting. Ha ha, Jarrett three, Short One zero. Yeah, I was totally owning this conversation.

"How do you know that she's not just trying to help people?" she asked. I could tell that she knew her argument was weak.

"How do you know that that's what she's trying to do?" I replied. I didn't know why she was defending her anyway.

"Oh, come on, you can't answer my question with another question."

"Can't I?"

The corners of her mouth twitched. "Awwww, you're smilin'," I joked. "Look at that wittle smiiiiile." I poked the side of her mouth. She slapped my hand away.

"Stop it," she said, but she was smiling bigger now.

"You think I'm funnyyyyyy," I continued.

"I think you're annoying."

"Noooooo, you think I'm funnyyyyyy. Say it, you know you wanna. Come oooon."

"Fine, you're kinda funny."

I shot up from my chair and threw my fists up in victory. "Oh yeah," I yelled. "What now, WHAT NOW?"

"Jarrett," I heard Jenny say too sweetly, "would you mind controlling yourself?"

I turned around to see her. Ugh, her smile matched her voice. It was so sugary it was sick. Aw, what the hell, I'll keep havin' fun. "Can't control the BEAST," I shouted.

"Try to," she said, "and sit down." I sighed dramatically and plopped back down on my chair. "The right way, please," I heard he say from behind me. I sighed even louder and turned the chair around. "Thank you."

"Well, that was fun _while it lasted,_" I said, and I shouted the last part loud enough for Jenny the Ultimately Supreme Evil Fun Killer to hear. I didn't look back to see what she did in response. Personally, I can't wait until I make her explode someday. There would be blood and guts and glitter and sugar everywhere. It. Would. Be. _Awesome._

"I'm sure it was," Alice giggled. "Do you always act like that?"

"With the people who are funner to talk to," I answered. "I don't get much out of it if they have no sense of humor. Oh, by the way, we don't talk in pairs every session. Sometimes the therapists aren't super lazy and we all have to talk about our _feelings._" I grimaced. There's no funner time in the world than strangers trying to get you to talk about stuff that's well into your personal off limits. I'm the only one who hasn't completely bawled in a group session apart from the newbies. I couldn't really imagine the tall blonde one crying his eyes out, though.

"So I have a sense of humor, then?"

"I am happy to say that, yes Short One, you do have a sense of humor."

She scowled while I smiled. "Short One?"

"I didn't really pay attention to your forced introduction, so I call you Short One and the other guy's just that tall blonde dude."

"His name is Jasper," she corrected, "and thanks for that. I just _love _the reminder of my height."

"Or lack thereof," I corrected with a smirk.

"Shut up, I'm not that short."

"Sorry, do you prefer the term vertically challenged?"

"Shut up," she repeated with a laugh. "I've seen shorter people than me."

"Yeah, but they talk with a lisp and their goal is to color inside the lines."

"You're so mean." She pouted playfully with her arms crossed.

"I'm sorryyyyyyy." I held my head in my hands in mock shame. I let out a fake sob. "If only she'll forgive me." I sniffed and peeked at her through my hands. She was smiling and shaking her head.

"I forgive you," she said.

I sniffed again and raised my head. "Really? Ya mean it?"

"Yes, Jarrett, I mean it."

I hugged her. "Yay!" I squealed rather girlishly.

"Get off me," she giggled.

I petted her head. "So are we… BFFs?"

"Sure, we can be BFFs."

"Okay, everyone," Jenny called out to ruin the perfect bonding BFF moment, "that's it for today. See you next week!"

"Okay, get off me now," Alice said.

I sighed dramatically yet again. "Alright." I let go and got up from the uncomfortable chair. That flat cushion didn't do much to stop my ass from going numb. "See ya later, Alice."

"Bye."

My stomach told me that I wanted some breakfast by rumbling loudly. I headed towards the cafeteria, and my stomach growled in anticipation of the oasis of food that was waiting. Sure, it was a counter of food and not exactly an oasis, but it was food, so good enough.

When I got to the glorious counter, I grabbed a tray and topped it with a carton of milk, a small box of cereal, a bowl and spoon, a bottle of juice, and a doughnut. Then I went to a table near the back and sat down.

The bad thing about being alone is that there wasn't much to distract your thoughts from wandering into places you would rather not visit. For me, there are a _lot_ of places I didn't want my mind to visit. But there my mind went, running off to the unpleasant thoughts.

For some reason, it was my father that I thought of. Well, he _is _the reason that I was here. People were always wondering why I was here, what was wrong with me. It was my dad who made me lose my mind. My mind was the only safe place for me, and now it's corrupted.

I shook my head and tore the cereal box open. I tried to concentrate on something else – anything else – while I fixed my cereal. Alice was nice. Sure, I didn't like her at first because she tried to pry into my business, but then she let it go and turned out to be a cool person. She had a sense of humor, and she put up a fight. Girls at my old school weren't like that; they talked about mindless things all day that made me want to spork my eyes out. They also thought that acting pitiful and weak was cute. No. It was just annoying.

I wondered about the people at my old school. What was going on there? I would be so lost if I went back now. I actually liked school, because my mind could never stay still for long, and it gave me something for my brain to do. I was good at keeping my grades up. I still had to do schoolwork in the asylum, but it wasn't the same. I had friends there, too.

I swept a piece of black hair out of my face. If I went back to school now, people would call me goth for sure. They would remember the incident before I came here. They would remember me flipping out about my hair when people made harmless jokes about it. I had looked so much like my dad that I had to change something.

You look like him, but you don't have to be like him, I told myself. You can be better. You don't have anything to prove in the cruel way that he does. He always had something to prove. He proved to me that some people are horrifyingly different than what we originally thought.

I ate my breakfast quickly and went back to my room. My dull, boring room. More often than not it felt like the plain walls were closing in on me. The only thing to do in this room was sleep, so I got into bed, pulled the covers up, and drifted off into what other lucky people would call peace.

_Looks like I would be reliving the night this time. I was fifteen again, and Mom called to Dad for the third time that dinner was ready with no response. He was in his basement office again, somewhere everyone in the house but him were forbidden to go. I thought it was to concentrate on his law cases._

_She called for a fourth time with little patience. I sighed and said, "I'll go get him." I heard her protests as I went to the door, but I ignored them._

_The door moved soundlessly out of my way as I pulled it open. Why couldn't anyone come down here, anyway? Probably because then we would come down here all the time and he couldn't concentrate. That made sense._

_I thumped down the stairs so Dad wouldn't be startled by my sudden appearance. It was dark on the staircase, but I could see the soft glow of a single light bulb that would be around the corner. I also heard water running and splashing from the sink that was built in down here. Couldn't he hear Mom over that? It wasn't all that loud or anything._

_When I got to the last few steps, I shouted, "Dad, dinner's ready." I stepped onto the concrete floor and towards the sound of the water. "Dad?"_

_Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw that life-changing night. Nothing._

_The light bulb was hanging over a table in the middle of the room. The table was tilted up so the top half was off of the floor. Leather cuffs were bolted into the steel slab, with two at the top and two at the bottom. A person -a man- was shackled into the cuffs. He was covered in a dark red liquid that continued to pour out of the slashes in his tattered shirt and pants. _Blood, _I thought in horror. So much blood._

_There was a pool of glistening crimson at the bottom of the table. I managed to tear my eyes off of the dead man to see the dark stains on the cement walls and all over the floor. I was even standing in some of the dried blood._

_There was more, up against the walls. To the right there was a big freezer that I didn't want to know the contents of. There were shelves and racks of sharp and dangerous weapons against the back wall. I dared to step closer so I could stand in front of the different knives, all different lengths and blades, with a knife sharpener hanging in a leather bag from a peg on the wall. There were whips coiled like snakes on one shelf. There was even a medieval-looking spiked ball on a chain._

_More leather covers were on the wall to the left. They were long and thin. Sword covers. There were six hanging on the wall, but only five were in a case while one was gone._

"_Jarrett."_

_I spun around quickly. My dad was standing there calmly, his hands wet from the water that had been running, and the missing sword gripped in his hand. I didn't know that he knew how to wield a sword, let alone own six. But I guess I didn't know a lot of things about him._

"_What are you doing down here?" He took a step towards me, which I mirrored by taking a step back. He kept coming, but he went to the wall behind me and put the sword back with a menacing metallic slide. He turned his attention to me._

_No words came out. My eyes were wide in terror, shock, and disbelief. In the light from the one bulb, I noticed a new gleam in his eye that I'd never noticed before. It scared me to no end._

"_Jarrett?"_

"_Why?" was all I managed to choke out. He sighed and came closer. I stood rooted in place. He put a hand on my shoulder and looked down at me. I still couldn't move, or even flinch from his hand._

"_Because, Jarrett, it gives me… a new sense of power," he explained. "I've never felt so powerful in my life. I was always the little guy: in my high school, in law school, in my career. But now…" He shook his head as if it were so great it was hard to put into words. "I hold so much power in my hands. Don't you understand?"_

No, _I wanted to scream. _I don't understand. _The shouts got lodged in my throat, unable to escape, just like I was unable to escape this nightmare I was in. This _had _to be a nightmare. I would wake up to my normal, sane dad who never talked about something so horrible in that tone. He would talk with that passion about his cases._

"_I'm being careful," he added, like caution about killing made it right. "I know all the tricks because of my job. I know what to do and what not to do. I won't get caught, son, I promise."_

Son. _The word didn't sound right coming from him anymore. He was a totally different person. It was like a stranger telling me that I was his son. It sounded wrong._

_I wanted him to get caught. Rage filled my heart and pumped through my veins with each beat. My father was a lie. I was seeing the truth now, after fifteen years. This was who he really was. A murderer. A man without mercy._

_He must have seen my anger. "You can't tell anyone about this, Jarrett," he pleaded. "It would rip our family apart. You don't want that, do you? What would it do to your sisters? Your mother?"_

_He knew how to play me. My sisters and mother would be devastated. We got our major income from my dad, because Mom babysat for some of the neighborhood kids, which didn't bring in much pay. The rest of my family was still oblivious to the monster that lived inside the man that they thought they knew. I had to protect them. I had a friend at school that was messed up from his parents' divorce. I had to protect my family from that._

"_Do you swear not to tell?" he asked._

"_I swear not to tell."_

_I heard my mom calling from upstairs. "Jarrett. Jarrett? Jarrett!"_

I woke up with a start. Tyler was hovering over me and shaking my arm to wake me up.

"You were yelling in your sleep again," he said. "You alright, man?"

"Yeah, fine," I lied. "Thanks."

He simply nodded and walked out of the room. He was probably my only friend here, apart from Alice now, at least. I think that he was the only one who's seen me scared before. I was glad that he was the one to wake me up, because he didn't ask questions. The first time, he just asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no. He left. End of story.

My mind had nowhere to go than that nightmare. It wasn't even the worst one. My nightmares alternated between reliving that night, my dad killing me on that table, and his victims killing me for not turning him in to the police.

That nightmare was a replay of the beginning. That's when the nightmares started. Then I was always tired in school. Thankfully my grades didn't slip from it. I got my work done at home when I was trying not to sleep. I would lie to my teachers and say that nothing was wrong.

That's when I dyed my hair because a coworker of my dad's said that I looked just like him. I had been appalled, and I went out and got hair dye without telling my parents. My mom and teachers thought that I was going through a rebellious teenager stage.

I finally snapped one day when someone asked what was wrong. I ran downstairs, screaming about Dad being a murderer. I would show them the proof. When I went down there, it was all gone. A desk replaced the table, pictures of his family were hung on the walls, and the blood was scrubbed away. Suddenly, I was the crazy one, and not my dad. He said that I needed help. He had all of the power over me, too.

I told no one about the truth after that. I told no one about that night. My dad told the therapists that I thought he was a murderer. He fed them lies that I couldn't correct.

I laid back down on the bed and sighed. The nightmares never stopped. They put tiny cameras in every room -I saw them one day- so I couldn't lie and say that I was better. They would know that the nightmares continued. I would be moved from the teen facility to an adult one when the time came.

I would be trapped in here forever with nothing but the truth that nobody would believe.

**I'm so messed up. I did have fun writing happy Jarrett. Hope you liked the surprise, my fluffy little lambs.**

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**Yeah, that's it. Two reviews and a story alert. Usually, I get more, but I guess not this time. Sadness.**

**Review, or Jarrett will trap you with his sexy mysteriousness. If he hasn't already ;]**


	19. Fly From the Inside

**So my dearest mother took my laptop away, but she works during the weekdays, so I can steal it like the rebel I am and write stuff. Right now, I'm hurrying to get this posted before my mom gets home, so sorry if there are any mistakes.**

Chapter 19: Fly From the Inside

APOV

I sat in between Cynthia and my mom on the couch while my dad stood next to Mom. He didn't look happy. Mrs. Stevens seemed oblivious to the tension in the room, or she was hiding her uncomfortable feelings well, because she looked perfectly at ease as she flipped to a clean sheet of paper in her notepad.

"Thank you all for coming," she began smoothly. "I know you had to take time off of work and school to come, but I think that it's best that we get insight from the whole family."

"Whatever helps," Dad said. I didn't miss his sly glance at me from the corner of his eye. Mom nodded along with what he said like the good little wife she is. It made me furious.

"I've had the opportunity to talk to Alice for the past two weeks, but I don't know how you've been feeling about the situation. Cynthia, would you like to tell me how you've been feeling?"

She squirmed in her seat. "Uh, well, I really miss Alice…" She glanced over at me, and I nodded for her to continue with a small encouraging smile. "I think that it's not fair that she's here," she continued with more confidence. "She's not bad, really. Mom and Dad told me what happened, but I don't think it's bad. I want her to come home."

Mrs. Stevens nodded. "Thank you, Cynthia." I took Cynthia's hand and squeezed it in thanks. She squeezed back. "Mrs. Brandon, what do you have to say?"

Mom twisted the hem of her black pencil skirt nervously in her fingers. She glanced at my father, which is what I was hoping she wouldn't do. I wanted to know _her _opinion.

She directed her attention back to Mrs. Stevens. "Well," she said smoothly and businesslike, like she was talking to her boss at the company she worked at, "I think that whatever Alice needs to get better should be done. It's painful on the family, but it would be for the best."

It was all too rehearsed. I stole a glance at Cynthia, who told be with her expression that she was thinking along the same lines as I was. Rage bubbled up in my chest and spilled out of my mouth. "Mom, no," I said firmly.

Mom stared at me in surprise, Dad in shock and anger, Cynthia in encouragement. Mrs. Stevens gave me a level, cool stare as she addressed the situation. "What do you mean, Alice?"

"I mean I'm gonna say to you guys what I couldn't, because you never came to see me." I turned in my seat towards my parents. "Yeah, let's start with that. Were you just going to pretend that I didn't exist until I got better? Was that the plan you made?" I was talking to Dad now, because any plan made would be his.

"We didn't want to distract you from your goal of-"

"Don't say "my goal" like this was all my decision," I interrupted hotly. "It was _your _decision, all of it! You can say that you have all of us in mind, but you don't. Cynthia didn't want me here, _I _don't want to be here, and Mom… I don't even _know _what she thinks anymore."

"She said that she agrees with me on all of this," Dad argued. "And don't you dare say that I don't have you in mind. Your mother and I made this decision and hoped that you would understand."

"Mom didn't make a decision! She didn't _agree _with you, she _went along _with you. She does whatever you say because she's afraid to disobey you!"

"That's not true!" Dad snapped.

"Let's see what Mrs. Brandon has to say about it," Mrs. Stevens cut in serenely.

Mom looked from my dad to me. "Don't look at us, Mom," I said, using a tone much calmer than before.

We waited in silence while she gathered her thoughts. Dad looked rather impatient and angry, but I didn't care if I was the one to make him that way. He had to see that I was right about this.

The air was tense when mom finally spoke. "Alice, I don't want you in here, but you and your visions… they have to stop."

"But the visions aren't bad," I protested. "The first one saved the lives of a whole bunch of people, and then I had one about Rosalie and her brother."

"Rosalie and her brother?" Dad repeated. "What about them?"

"I saw that they would meet here after eight years of being apart, and they did. You can't say that's bad."

"Why was Rosalie here?" Dad asked suspiciously. "If she didn't know about her brother, then why would she be here?"

Oh crap.

Well, I guess they had to know now. "They were visiting me."

"And how did they find out that you were here?" he asked in his dangerously calm way.

I looked over at Cynthia, who was staring at the floor. She met my eyes nervously, then looked over at Dad. "I told them."

"I thought I told you that you could tell _no one _about this," he said lowly. "So you disobeyed me?"

"I had to do it," Cynthia cried. "They were really worried and they really wanted to see her and I really wanted to see her… they're her best friends, Dad! They had a right to know!"

"It was none of their business," Dad snapped. "They should have left it alone."

"No they shouldn't have," I broke in. "I was miserable here until they came. I thought you didn't care, and I guess I was right. It was nice to know that someone actually cared."

"So you disobeyed me," Dad said to Cynthia, "and what else?"

"I went with them, and I'm glad I did."

"You disobeyed me, went behind my back, and lied to me. That is-"

"You were being unreasonable! I should have been able to see my sister, and they should have been able to know what was going on and see their friend!"

"Enough!" dad shouted. Mom jumped at his outburst. "We're leaving. Now." He walked over to the door, threw it open, and disappeared.

Mom blinked and stood up. "Thank you, Mrs. Stevens." Cynthia and I stood up, too. Mom opened her arms hesitantly for a hug. I knew that she was doing this for my own good. I was a little hurt, but I know she didn't mean it. I gave her a hug.

"Do you forgive me?" she asked.

"Yeah, Mom, I forgive you."

She pulled away. "I'll see you this weekend with or without your father, okay?"

I smiled brightly. "Okay. Thank you."

She smiled and kissed my cheek. "Say goodbye, Cynthia."

Cynthia stepped up and gave me a hug. "See you this weekend," she said when she pulled away. We waved goodbye as they walked out the door.

I sat back down on the couch and sighed. "I'm sorry that didn't work out as smoothly as I planned," Mrs. Stevens said. I nodded.

"At least my mom and Cynthia are coming this weekend." A weight seemed to have been lifted off of my shoulders when I made amends with my mom. I also got my word in, which lightened my load even more.

"Given the circumstances, I think that you can leave early today."

"Thank you." I got up from the couch again and left the room.

The stressful session had worn me out. I slowly headed back to my room, burrowed under the covers, and fell asleep quickly.

**Wow, this chapter is kinda disappointing, because it's totally short. Don't hate me for it.**

**Story Alert: vicky151, Alice Everdeen, Cathlyn, Showmance**

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**Favorite Author: vicky151, Alice Everdeen**

**Author Alert: vicky151, Alice Everdeen**

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**HOLY CRAPOLA, that adds up to TWENTY EIGHT FAVORITES, ALERTS AND REVIEWS! Thanks everyone :D I'll try and make the next update better and longer and stuff of that nature. **


	20. I Own You

**My rebellious phase of technology continues as I write this slightly-longer-than-the-last-but-still-kinda-short chapter.**

Chapter 20: I Own You

JPOV

I didn't see Alice at breakfast after therapy Thursday, so I ate alone. You don't really miss someone's company until you've had it; I was never really lonely when I ate lunch at school, but now that I was kind of used to her presence, there was something to miss.

I ate quickly and left the cafeteria. Maybe Alice would be in the common room. I peeked in, but I didn't see her in there, either. The thought of going back to my plain room didn't sound all too appealing, so I took a seat on one of the couches and watched TV for awhile just for something to do.

After awhile, someone sat down on the other end of the couch. I looked over and saw that Jarrett kid with his arm slung casually across the back of the couch. I turned my attention back to the TV.

"Hey, guys," I heard after a minute. Alice sat between Jarrett and I. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. "Whatcha watchin'?"

"I actually don't know," I said. I actually looked at the TV. A teenage girl with braces was with who looked like her dad in a car dealership.

"Oh, it's a dumb show on MTV about spoiled girls using their parents' money to pay for expensive parties just because they turned sixteen," Jarrett explained. "This one wants her dad to return the Mercedes he got her and get her a big SUV instead." He chuckled at the TV.

Alice laughed a little. "_Well _then."

Jarrett just shrugged. "It's true," he muttered. He put his arm that was on the back of the couch around Alice's shoulders. "So what have you been up to?"

"Well, I talked to my family. My dad still hates me, but my mom and I made up. Then I took a nap."

I sat up straighter to get a better look at Alice's face. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said while nodding. "My dad's just stubborn. Hopefully, he'll come around. But the good news is that Cynthia and my friends don't have to sneak around to come visit us."

"I hope everything works out with your dad, and I'm glad that it did with your mom."

She smiled. "Thanks, Jazz."

Henry was the only one to call me Jazz. It sounded good coming from her, though.

Jarrett chuckled at something on the TV. "This girl is so stupid."

I pang of annoyance shot through me. I didn't know why, but I didn't like him. He just seemed… off. Why didn't I like him? He hasn't done anything to me.

"So?"

I should have known Jonathan would show up for this.

"You don't have to like everybody. I sure as hell don't."

"_Yeah, I know that much," _I replied in my head.

"I know how to deal with such people," he said as he leaned up against the wall behind the couch.

"_I'm familiar with how you deal with things, and I don't like it, so you can keep your advice to yourself."_

"Are you sure?" He kept his lazy posture, but his voice had some kind of intensity. "How do you know if you've never tried it? You don't even have to hurt him _that _bad. Just one punch is all you really need to see how good it feels."

"_I'll never go down to your level."_

He smiled. "I think it would be going up from where you're at."

"_No, it wouldn't be."_

"Jasper?"

I jumped when I felt a hand on my arm. I let out a small sigh of relief when I realized it was just Alice. She was staring at me with concern. Jarrett was leaning back so he could look at me around her. "You okay, man?"

"Uh, yeah, fine," I replied. He didn't look at all convinced. Why did I hate him for no reason? He wasn't a bad guy.

"He's probably just wondering what's wrong with you," Jonathan explained. I ignored him.

Alice looked back at Jarrett, then back at me. "Is he here?" she whispered for only me to hear. I swallowed and nodded. She sighed. "Are you okay?" I just nodded again. She didn't look convinced, either.

"You're such a horrible liar," Jonathan said. "You really need to work on that, you know."

"_I don't like lying and I don't plan on doing it often."_

"Seems like you do plan on it, actually. Soon, everything you say will be a lie. You'll be lying to the people you care about, and they'll be all hurt because they'll wonder why you can't trust them."

"_I _do _trust them, I just don't want them to worry about _you._"_

"Is that really the reason? Think about that." And then he was gone.

I breathed a sigh of relief, but the calm he left behind in his absence didn't last long. What other reason would I have? How could he know if there was another reason before I did?

"He's gone," I whispered to Alice. She smiled and rubbed my arm. It made me forget about Jonathan's question and it calmed me down.

Jarrett nudged Alice's arm. "What was that about?" he whispered to her. I didn't think that he knew I was listening, so I didn't look at him. I wanted to see where the conversation would go.

"Nothing," Alice said.

"Well, I find that hard to believe. Maybe because it's not the truth."

"It's also something that doesn't concern you. I don't think he would like me saying."

"No," I cut in, "I wouldn't."

They both looked surprised, but they recovered quickly. "I just wanted to know what's going on," Jarrett explained. "You looked like something was really bothering you."

"I'm fine," I assured him. I tried not to sound angry, but my voice was harsh.

He sighed like he was frustrated and sat back against the couch. "Fine." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Whatever."

Alice sighed, too. "I don't want you to be mad."

"I'm not," he said. He didn't take his eyes off of the TV, and he was still tense.

"Jarrett," she groaned. He just shook his head.

I already knew that he wasn't a bad guy, so why didn't I tell him? He wouldn't be mad at Alice if I did. Even as I thought through it logically, I still couldn't bring myself to explain everything and make it right between them.

"_Why do you want them to work it out?" _I heard Jonathan whisper in my mind.

"_Because they're friends," _I said back. _"They shouldn't fight if I can help it."_

"_You don't like Jarrett, so why would you help him?"_

"_Alice is my friend, so I want to help her. I'm sure _you _wouldn't understand that."_

"_She'll get over it. Let Jarrett suffer. It's his fault, anyway. He just wants to guilt you into telling him what you don't want to say. He knows that you have a weak spot for her."_

"_Wait, since when were you on my side?"_

"_When we found a common enemy."_

"_He's not your enemy, or mine. I just have a small dislike for him."_

"_You can keep telling yourself that, Jasper. I guess it's not only the people you care about you lie to, but yourself, too."_

I pulled out of my mind and back to the real problem. Alice was turned away from me and trying to coax Jarrett's tight arms away from his chest. He stared at the TV stubbornly and ignored her. "Jarrett, come on," she begged. "Please? Don't be mad at me."

Finally, she rested her head on his shoulder and pouted; her eyes were wide and pleading and her bottom lip jutted out. Jarrett made the mistake of glancing down at her. "Aww, don't do that, kid." He looked away, but then back at her. "Stop it." She didn't listen. "Cut it out, I can't be mad at you with that face."

"Then don't be," she countered. Her pout stayed in place.

He sighed in defeat. "_Fine,_" he groaned. He uncrossed his arms and pulled her into a hug. She smiled triumphantly. "I'm sorry. Are we still BFFs?" She nodded.

Another surge of anger spread in my chest. He wasn't hurting her or anything, so why did I have anything against him?

What if it was Jonathan's influence? What if he was making me feel so hateful? What if he made me more like him? The hot anger turned into icy fear in my veins. What if I hurt someone by accident because of him? I looked at Alice and Jarrett. They were laughing while watching TV. I couldn't hurt either of them. What if I did it when Rosalie and the others were here?

I had to fix this, and fast. I wouldn't let him own me and turn me into something that I feared. If I didn't trust myself, and I feared myself, than where would I be in the fight against Jonathan?

"_At the bottom," _he answered. _"You'll always be at the bottom." _

**Favorite Author: Alice-Jaspers Girl**

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**IMPORTANT NOTE (Because all of my other notes are just crap and then your lovely names): My mommy's taking off work next week. Therefore, I can't be all ninja and secretly write chapters, because if she catches me, it would scare the crapplesauce out of me, and then I would NEVER see my laptop AGAINNNNNN (maybe). So next week might not have any updates. This Sunday might, but probably not Wednesday or the Sunday after that. So updates might start again on the 28****th****. Sorry for the forced hiatus and the A/N that's about longer than the chapter, but I felt the note was needed.**


	21. Playing God

**So I got the opportunity to post this, so here it is. Oh, and I lied. Accidentally. It's next Wednesday and not the 28****th**** that I'll be posting again.**

Chapter 21: Playing God

APOV

On Friday morning, I went to Mrs. Stevens as usual. I hated having such a boring routine. Maybe I would get lucky and Mom would fight for me to get out of here. But then again, my dad wouldn't warm up to me being back home and things would still be tense between us. It seemed like there was no pleasing my father; if I was here, he would be angry with me and ignore my existence. If I were home, he would be mad for sure and still might ignore my existence. I never dreamed it would be that way with us. I guess nightmares do come true, too.

I arrived at her office just in time for the session. We said our hellos and sat in our seats like always. She had her paper and pen on the arm of her chair ready to use when necessary.

"Anything you would like to start with?" Mrs. Stevens asked.

"No, nothing in particular," I answered.

"Alright then. Now, I think we're ready to try and solve this problem with your visions. From yesterday, I can tell that they cause some trouble within your family. What you need to do is try to learn to push these visions away when they come. Hopefully, they'll go away over time if you practice this."

Whoa. That's new. Push them away? What she said about the visions going away after some time of resisting them made some sense, but the question isn't about that. Is not having visions what I wanted?

_Of course it is, _a little voice said in my head. _When they're gone, you can go home, and everything will be back to normal._

_ But the visions aren't bad, _another voice argued. _They're a convenience._

_ Say that to yourself when you're mother and sister are visiting without Dad there, _the first voice retorted.

I sighed. My family was much more important than some convenient extra talent. I couldn't tear us apart with this. "Okay. I'll try that next time I have a vision."

"So your visions just come to you? You can't really control them?"

"I haven't tried resisting them before. And yes, they just sort of pop up at random times."

"Alright," she said while she noted that on her paper. We continued the session with more about my visions and the atmosphere of when I had them; what I was feeling, what was going on, even what time of day it was. She said that anything could help in some way.

After the hour was up, I went to the cafeteria. Jasper wasn't there, but Jarrett was sitting by himself eating a big breakfast. I decided on cereal today and went over to his table with my breakfast.

"Hey," he said in greeting.

"Hey. Big enough breakfast?"

"I'm a growing boy, I need lots of food. You, on the other hand, are much too small." He poked my stomach. "Ya got no meat on ya."

I laughed. "Whatever." I poured cereal into the bowl, and Jarrett poured milk into his.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He looked up from his milk bowl. "What?"

"The cereal goes before the milk. It's, like, the natural order of the world."

He snorted. "What? Are you telling me the "natural order" of how to prepare cereal?"

"Uh, yeah, I am, because you're doing it wrong."

"Well, what if _you're_ doing it wrong?" He ripped the small box of cereal open and tore the bag inside.

"You can ask anyone and they'll tell you that the cereal goes before the milk. How are you supposed to know how much milk you need if the cereal's not in the bowl?"

He laughed and poured corn flakes into the milk-filled bowl that defied all of the laws of food. "Really, Alice? You're going to fight me on this?"

"Yeah, I am." I opened the small carton of milk and poured it onto my Lucky Charms.

He stared at my cereal box. "Aww, you look like the little leprechaun that's on the front of the box!"

I snatched the box away from his sight. "Do not! Besides, that's a guy."

"So?"

I rolled my eyes and ate my cereal. He did the same. After a few bites, he swallowed and put his spoon down in the bowl. "So, about yesterday… seriously, what was with Jasper that you can't tell me?"

I sighed to myself. I didn't want to go over this again. I _really _didn't want Jarrett to be mad at me again. I hated to see his eyes turn to ice with anger instead of swimming with humor. "If he wanted you to know, he would tell you. It's not my secret to tell. I wouldn't want him to think that he can't trust me with things."

He sighed. "I just wanna know," he mumbled. "Secrets with my friends bug me."

"You consider him a friend?"

He sighed again and stirred his corn flakes around. "He seems like a cool guy, but I don't really think he likes me too much."

"Why not? Did you say something to him?"

"No, I've never talked to him before yesterday, and I picked up some hate towards me before I kinda pissed him off." He shrugged and ate another spoonful of cereal.

That was weird; I didn't think Jasper would be the type to just hate people for no reason. I worried a little about that. What if Jasper and Jarrett didn't get along? I wouldn't like that, but I didn't want to force them together, either. Maybe Jasper just needed time to get to know him a little. Maybe it wasn't hate, but just a little lack of trust.

"Maybe he just doesn't really trust you yet," I voiced out loud. "I'm sure he'll like you once he gets to know you better."

He shrugged, put his spoon down on his tray, picked up the bowl, and drank the leftover milk out of it. I scrunched up my nose at the loud slurping. He set the bowl down, saw my expression of disgust, and smirked.

"Most girls think that's _sexy,_" he joked. He leaned back in his chair and wiped the milk off of his mouth.

"Well then most girls must have no taste when it comes to _sexy_."

"Whatever." He picked up a jelly-filled doughnut next and took a big, messy bite out of it. I rolled my eyes and went back to my cereal.

After another minute of nothing but chewing for sound (with Jarrett's being quite loud and obnoxious), he spoke again. "So, how was therapy? All rainbows and sunshine?"

"She wants me to try and push my visions away when they come."

"Do _you _want to do that?"

"Well, she says that it might help my visions go away, and then I could go home."

Some emotion shone in his eyes, but when he blinked, it was gone. "Oh."

"What does "oh" mean?"

"Well, the term "oh" is usually used to show thought or strong emotion in the English language."

I smiled at his joke, but then made myself serious again. "I mean, why did you say it?"

He sighed. "Well, I've been here awhile. I'm just a little jealous that you'll get better eventually and go home."

"But you'll get better, too," I said. "It just takes time."

He shook his head. "I'm never getting out of here, Alice. I can't tell you how I know," he added when he saw my curious look, "but I do. Once I'm too old for this place, I'll go to a regular institution. Then…" He just shrugged to end his thought.

I stirred the extra milk around in my bowl. Why _couldn't _he tell me why he would never leave? And how was he so sure? Was the whole thing just too painful for him to talk about? I would ask him, but I figured that he would be angry with my prying and he wouldn't –or I guess he _couldn't_- answer them. I didn't want him mad at me again.

Jarrett finished his breakfast while I got up to get rid of my bowl and spoon. When I sat back down, Jarrett said, "I'm sorry I can't tell you. I want to, really."

"Well, can you at least tell me why you can't tell me?"

He thought for a moment, but then shook his head. "I don't think I can say even that." He chuckled dryly. "I'm kind of a hypocrite, now, aren't I? I want to know everyone else's business, but I don't tell them mine."

"I don't understand it, but I have a feeling you have a more complicated situation."

He smiled a little. "I'm not lying when I say that it _is _more complicated."

"I believe you," I replied truthfully. I didn't think that he would lie to me so he could get out of telling me something. "But, if it's something about… loyalty to someone, like you told them you wouldn't say anything or something, I won't tell anyone."

His smile got bigger. "It's that, but that wouldn't be why I won't tell you." If that was it, what other reason would there be? He saw the question written on my face in confusion. "I think that you're the type of person that would do anything for a friend." I nodded in confirmation. "That's why I can't tell you. I don't want you involved in all of this."

"Is it dangerous?"

Something sparked in his eyes that made my stomach roll with worry and a twinge of fear. "No, it's not dangerous." He was lying, I knew that much, but why he would was what I was worried about. I also knew that he wouldn't tell me if I called him out on it. What did he get himself into? And how bad was it for him to land in here?

"Don't think about this too much," Jarrett said.

"That's what Jasper says about him," I grumbled. No one would let me worry about anything anymore. Why did guys always keep their problems to themselves and not want anyone else to care? It was a little frustrating.

He chuckled at that. "I'm done. Let's get out of here." He piled his trash onto the tray and picked up his tray. I followed him over to the trash can and where the dishes are dropped off for them to be washed. Then we left the cafeteria.

Maybe Jasper would be in the common room watching TV like yesterday. When Jarrett and I got there, my eyes went straight to the couch we occupied the other day, but it was empty. I swept the rest of the room only to be disappointed. I hadn't realized how much I wanted to see him today. I would check back here if I left before he had yet to make an appearance by that time.

Jarrett and I watched What Not to Wear on TV. I would have thought that he would complain, but he didn't. He laughed at me when I cringed at some of the bad clothes some people actually wore. I mean, seriously, how could some people stand to go out in public dressed as they are? It was nice to know that there were people out there fixing that problem. I wanted to give them a big hug.

After about an hour in the common room, Jasper still hasn't been in or even passed in the hallway to go to the cafeteria. Maybe he had eaten before his session and then went back to his room to get some more sleep or something like that.

My eyes drifted shut after awhile. Once they were closed, I realized that I was kind of tired. I tried to maybe take a quick nap, but I couldn't sleep. I was still thinking about Jasper and why I haven't seen him yet. I was on the edge of consciousness when pictures began to form behind my lids.

_"No, Linda! That's my final decision. They're _not _going there again. I think it's pushing it with you and Cynthia going!"_

_ "Think about this, please. They're her friends! She'll be devastated if they don't visit, not to mention furious with you! They have a right to go."_

_ My mom and dad were standing in the kitchen arguing, with the bar in between them. I could also see Cynthia hiding on the stairs and listening to the fight without their knowledge._

_ "Not anymore, they don't. I'm going to call the hospital and tell them that they are forbidden to see her."_

_ "What about Rosalie?" Mom asked. She sounded enraged. "She has a brother there, too. If you don't let her see Alice, they probably won't let her in at all. Did you think about that, or were you limited to thinking about yourself, as always?"_

_ Now Dad was fuming. "When I make decisions, I think about us as a whole. I can ask for access for Rosalie to see her brother and no one else."_

_ "This isn't fair to anyone and you know it!"_

_ Cynthia quickly but quietly ran up the stairs to my room. She found my cell phone on my nightstand and turned it on. She pressed some buttons and then put the phone to her ear._

_ "Rose? It's Cynthia. Oh, are the others there? Good, put it on speaker phone. Hey guys. I heard my parents talking," she rolled her eyes at the word "talking", "and Dad doesn't want you guys to visit Alice. He says that Rosalie will get some special exceptions because of Jasper, but she can't talk to Alice."_

_ A loud, angry murmur came from the phone. "I know, I know, that's what my mom thinks, too, but I really think that my dad's gonna go through with the whole banning thing. What are you guys gonna do?" There was a quiet voice on the other side; maybe Edward. "Okay. I'm sorry I can't help more." Edward said something. "Alright," Cynthia sighed. "Bye." She flipped my phone shut and sat on my bed._

My eyes flew open when the vision ended. I sat up straight on the couch and went over the whole thing again in my head. Dad was going to keep my friends away? I couldn't believe that he even _considered_ doing the same to Mom and Cynthia! Mom was right; I would be devastated, and furious, and it wasn't fair. I was glad that I got her on my side before Dad found about my friends visiting secretly.

_My side. _I wish that there were no sides. I wish that this whole thing wasn't happening. I wish that my stupid visions would go away. I should have tried to push that vision away like Mrs. Stevens told me to do.

But without the vision, then how would I have seen that Dad was plotting against me? My visions are opening up a whole new world of knowledge for me. Did I want to just give that up?

No. That answer was obvious, now that I thought about it. It was like giving up a whole new sense. No, I wouldn't push my new sixth sense away. But what would Mrs. Stevens say about that? She wanted to help me get rid of them. But what if Dad set her up to that? What if he told her to make them go away no matter what?

There were too many questions and not enough answers. I also had to deal with the big problem at hand that all of these questions were piled on top of, and that was that my dad wanted to keep my friends away. I could _not _let that happen. I had to make him see that what he was doing was wrong. I had to make him see reason.

"Alice?" Jarrett said groggily. I guess he fell asleep, too, and I woke him up. He straightened up and blinked. "Whatcha fired up for?"

"My dad," I answered.

"What about him?"

"I had a vision, and he said that he would keep my friends away from here. I have to talk to him."

Jarrett looked at the clock over by the TV. "Shit," he muttered, "I'm gonna be late." He stood up and rubbed his eyes. "Come on."

"What?"

"I have therapy. You should come and ask to use her phone."

"You don't mind me taking your therapy time?"

He laughed. "Honey, I _prefer_ you take the time. Now come on."

I shot up and followed him out of the common room. I tried to keep his slow pace and not go running for Mrs. Stevens' office like I wanted to do. Finally, we made it.

The door was shut, but Jarrett just opened the door and let himself in. I went in after him after a shrug and shut the door behind me.

Mrs. Stevens was behind her desk writing on some paper. "You're late, Jarrett," she said without looking up. She sounded a little harsh and not like that woman I spoke to. She probably lost her patience with him long ago.

When she looked up, she blinked in surprise at the sight of me. "Alice, I didn't expect you here," she said. She sounded much nicer when she spoke to me.

"Well, I was wondering if I could use your phone." Jarrett laid out on the couch and closed his eyes.

"I have a session right now. Maybe later?"

"I have to talk to my dad. It's kinda important."

"And I don't mind," Jarrett cut in without opening his eyes. "I don't think we'll have a major breakthrough today, anyway. Might as well put the time to good use."

She mulled it over after a brief scowl at Jarrett. "Okay, Alice, if it's important."

"Thank you." I went over to the corner of her desk where the phone was while Mrs. Stevens grabbed her notebook and pen and took her place on the leather chair opposite Jarrett's sleeping form.

I picked up the phone and quickly dialed the familiar number. Whenever I had to call Dad, I would make it quick because of his work. I hoped that he wouldn't hang up on me, but I couldn't get him here in person quickly enough.

The phone was in the middle of its second ring when his secretary, Becky, picked up. "Brandon and Michael's Real Estate," her polite voice answered, "this is Dennis Brandon's line, how may I help you?"

"Becky? This is Alice."

"Oh, well hi, Hon!" Her voice turned from cool to casual. "What is it you need, sweetie?"

"I have to talk to my dad. Is he busy?"

"He just got out of a ten-thirty, I'll send ya over."

"Okay, thanks, but don't tell him it's me."

"Alright," she agreed without question. "Just hold for a second and you'll be over."

"Thanks." I liked Becky; she was nice, and a fun person. We got along well, even thought I was in high school and she was fresh out of college. She wanted to open up her own fashion agency, and I loved anything to do with fashion, so we had something to talk about whenever I was visiting the office for Dad's functions.

"Dennis Brandon," Dad answered the phone.

"Dad, it's me."

He paused before his voice became crisp. "I'm at work, Alice. Why are you calling?"

"I know what you want to do, but it's not fair to keep my friends away."

"How did you know about that?" He fought to keep his business voice. "I haven't even discussed it with your mother yet. I was going to tonight." I could almost hear the pieces click together through the phone. "Did you have one of those visions of the future?"

He was getting mad. I would stay the calm one as long as I could. "Yes, and I'm glad I did. It's not your place to tell my friends if they can visit or not. It's not your right to give or take away, and even if it was, it's not fair to them."

"You don't get to decide what's fair," he snapped.

"Why do you want them to stay away? They're not doing anything wrong by being here." _It's more than what I could ask from you, _I wanted to add, but I forced the words back down my throat. I would reason with him, not argue, and I would act like an adult with strong points to back me up. That's how my dad usually worked, and that's how I would go about talking to him.

"They're distracting you from your job of getting better."

"How are they a distraction?"

"If they don't tell you that the visions have to go, then they're a distraction. You can't be stubbornly set on thinking that they are good or they'll never be gone. It's like your friends are _supporting _the visions."

"They're not supporting anything, they're just being good friends." I kept my tone level and not whiny or angry. "And what if Mom doesn't approve of what you want to do?"

"I'll reason with her."

"What if you're reason isn't her reason? She has an opinion in this, and it's different from yours."

"You wouldn't know."

"I do know. My vision was of you and Mom fighting about it. She doesn't agree with you."

"Alice, they aren't visions of the future. What you're seeing is what your mind _wants_ you to see."

"What about the subway? There's proof that what I saw would have happened if I hadn't stepped in."

He paused. I knew I had him with that. "I'm doing what's best for you, Alice."

"Wouldn't _I_ know what's best for me?" I countered.

"In this case, no. Let your mother and I handle this."

"Just promise me that you'll listen to her and not just yell. Talk about it. Think it through."

"I promise. I have to go, Allie."

"Bye." I hung up without waiting for a response from him.

"Do you want to talk about that?" Mrs. Stevens asked.

"In my next session I will." I shook Jarrett's shoulder to wake him up. He moaned unhappily. "Get up, you have therapy." He groaned again.

I sighed. "I'll see ya later." I left the office and went back to my room. I flopped onto the bed on my back.

I got a word in to my father. I had an actual conversation where at least a little bit of the problem was solved, and we didn't yell.

Maybe this is the start of some of my independence. Maybe I would finally get an opinion in and take some control in my life. I knew that my dad cared, but he was always controlling everything. Maybe I would get some control for once about this whole situation. Dad had to see that I wasn't just being a baby throwing a fit. Maybe he'll see that I'm getting older, but I'm still the same Alice as before, just with a little something extra.

A grin found its way to my lips. Maybe things would get better from here.

**I thought this was going to be another short one, but BAM! Zikare actually helped me with a review for Chapter 19 about how she could picture Alice's dad blowing up, so thanks for getting me out of that little writer's block I was going through :D**

**Favorite Story: Ain'tNoRestForTheWicked, EsmeAliceRose, Luxio Nyx**

**Story Alert: Ain'tNoRestForTheWicked**

**Reviews: Sebastian Silverhand, Marie-Ruth, Showmance, Alice Everdeen, missalexwhitlock123, Zikare (who also helped me re-discover a pencil and paper), Alice-Jaspers Girl, Ghostwriter626, Bella'Swan'22, Alice-the-irish-dancer**


	22. Breaking the Habit

**I'M BACK! And ya know what I realized? My uncle is a carpenter. His name is Bob. My uncle is Bob the Builder :D**

Chapter 22: Breaking the Habit

JPOV

I didn't know what to do after what happened with Jonathan on Thursday, so I did the only thing that I could think of. I hid in my room.

I got hell from him for doing that, so I instantly regretted the decision. I tried to work out how to get rid of Jonathan in my head, but he always cut in and made me lose my train of thought. My mind went around in hopeless circles that he laughed at.

What I needed to do was talk to Dr. Hetzer. Maybe he figured something out that could help me. Hopefully, he thought about my situation some. I didn't know how long I could stand sharing my mind.

Jonathan didn't go away like he usually did. He decided to stay and watch my internal struggle. He had never done this before, and it worried me a little. What if he stayed permanently? I definitely needed Dr. Hetzer's help, but he was probably talking to someone else and helping them. I would have to wait for my session on Friday.

After a few hours in the confines of my room, the low grumbles of my stomach refused to be ignored. I left my room and headed towards the cafeteria.

I did and didn't want to see Alice at the same time. I did want to see her because she brightened my day and I wanted to assure her that I was fine even thought I wasn't. I didn't want to see her because then she would surely ask the questions that I wasn't ready to answer.

I finally decided that it would be best to not see her for now. I didn't know how Jonathan would act, and I definitely didn't want to take chances around her. I knew that he couldn't make me do anything to hurt anyone, but being overly cautious was better than being under cautious.

There weren't many people in the common room when I passed it. Out the windows, the sky was darkening. I wasn't sure what the curfew was, so I had to eat something quick just in case.

The cafeteria was nearly empty, too. From the dinner choices, I got a bowl of spaghetti and sat in the back of the room. When I was halfway done with my food, a voice over the intercom announced, "It is ten minutes until eleven. Please return to your rooms in that time." I finished the spaghetti quickly and put the bowl and fork in the wash bin.

The common room was empty the next time I passed it. When I got to my room, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and then I got under the covers of my bed and fell asleep.

The nightmares were far worse that night.

It started out pretty normal when it comes to my nightmares; I walked into the living room, and my parents were dead. Blood was splattered everywhere. Usually, Jonathan was standing over them with a bloody knife, but he was nowhere in sight. I figured he was going to jump out from behind me, so I turned away from the gruesome scene. He wasn't there, either.

I was confused. Where was he at? He had to be here. What was he doing? I spun again and waited. He didn't come.

While I waited, I glanced down at the floor to see if he left any other traces of him being there besides the splatters of blood. Then I saw something in my hand.

A knife was clenched in my fist. It was coated in dark crimson. The liquid stained my hands. Shock and horror punched through my chest and made me stagger backwards. The blood-drenched knife fell from my shaking hand and stained the carpet when it fell.

Laughter rang out with the choked sounds that escaped my throat. I looked around the room for the source, but I could see none. I realized that the laughter was inside my head. It was Jonathan's triumphant laughter that only I could hear.

I woke up with a jolt. I realized that there was a hand on my arm and someone was saying my name. I rolled over, and Martin took his hand off of my arm.

"You have therapy," Martin said.

I glanced at the clock. I was ten minutes late for my session. "Crap," I muttered.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "I could tell Jason that you're not feeling well."

I shot out of bed. "No, I'm fine," I said as I moved towards my closet for clean clothes.

"Okay, I'll tell him you'll be there in a minute." Martin left the room and shut the door behind him.

The picture of me with my parents' blood on my hands wouldn't go away. My hands shook as I thought about it and my stomach rolled, but I would go to therapy and tell Dr. Hetzer about the nightmare and about Jonathan's violent turn. I also had to know if he had anything new that could help me.

I hurried down the hallway once I had dressed and brushed my teeth. The door to Dr. Hetzer's office was open when I got to it, so I just walked into the room. He was already at his chair with a notebook. He greeted me with a friendly smile. "Hey, Jasper. Oversleep?"

"Yeah, sorry," I replied as I sat down.

"It's fine," he assured me. "Is there anything you want to start with?"

I sighed. Where to begin? "I think I'm getting worse."

Dr. Hetzer's relaxed posture instantly changed as he leaned forward and his smile tilted into a concerned frown. "How so?"

I sighed again. "Well, on Thursday, I was in the common room with Alice and a kid named Jarrett."

He nodded. "Yes, I know him. Go on."

"I don't really like him for some reason, but I kept it to myself because he's Alice's friend and I didn't want to upset her or anything. Anyway, that's when Jonathan came. He wanted me to hurt him just because I didn't like him.

"Alice figured out that he was there, but I said I was fine. Jonathan said something about working on my lying, and I said I wouldn't do it often and I only lied in the first place was so people didn't have to worry about him. Then he asked me if that was really the reason, told me to think about that, and left."

Dr. Hetzer jotted notes down on the paper as I spoke. When I paused, he tapped his pen against his chin and read over his notes. With a slightly frustrated sigh, he mumbled, "Go on."

"Jarrett got a little mad because Alice didn't tell him what was going on with me. I felt guilty, because Alice was defending my privacy. Jonathan asked me why I wanted to help him and told me to let him suffer. It was like he was on my side instead of going against me."

He made more notes and tapped his pen against his chin again. "Hmm…" After a few more taps, he said, "Maybe it's not that he's on your side. He could want you to think that to build trust to end up going against you or to control you in some way…"

"This guy is good," Jonathan said suddenly. I jumped at his appearance beside me on the couch. He never showed up at my therapy sessions, which made me wonder. Wouldn't he comment on what Dr. Hetzer was saying and on what I said to him?

"You okay?" Dr. Hetzer asked.

"Jonathan's here," I said. "He says you're good."

"So either I'm right about him going against you or controlling you, or he's saying that to throw us off of his true intentions…"

"I like the way this guy thinks," Jonathan mused. "But he has pitiful determination, like he thinks he can help you get me out of your head…" He chuckled. It reminded me of his manic laughter in the nightmare I had last night. I shivered.

"He said that he likes the way you think, but he doesn't think that you can do anything to help me."

"I'll look forward to proving him wrong," he replied with a smug smile.

Jonathan laughed. "Cocky one."

"He says you're cocky."

Dr. Hetzer chuckled. "Sometimes, yes. But this time, I'm just confident in my determination."

Jonathan grinned. "Good luck with that." He disappeared.

"He's gone," I reported, "and he says good luck."

"I wonder why this is the first time he came to the session," Dr. Hetzer said.

"I was wondering the same thing," I replied. "I don't think that he would come here just to help."

He nodded contemplatively. "But then again he could expect us to think that." He sighed. "We're kind of stuck, aren't we?" He looked at the clock. "We have ten minutes left. Was there anything you left out?"

"I'm worried about how far Jonathan's going to go. I don't trust myself around other people with him there…"

"He can only put thoughts into your mind. I think you're strong enough to resist what he says or tries to get you to do. He probably wants you to feel unstable and to stay away from people. He wants you isolated. I think that having friends and family around will help more than hurt."

I smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

"That's what I'm here for." He glanced at the clock again. "Oh, something important before you go." He flipped his notebook closed and set it and the pen on a small table beside his chair. "There's been some schedule changes. You'll only have a weekly session from now on unless you need the extra help. There's a lot of new people coming in and we had to let someone go. Your sessions will be on Fridays at the same time as you have now along with group sessions."

"Alright. But, if I'm allowed to know, why did you have to let someone go?"

"Well, all I can really say is that Dr. Raymer wanted to… take a different direction when it came to helping the patients."

"Okay. I guess I'll go, then."

"I'll see you Friday," Dr. Hetzer said with a smile.

As I left the room, worries crept up. What if Jonathan was right, and I wasn't stronger than him? What if he gained control over me? What if the pressure just made me snap?

_You're _hallucinating, _Jasper, _I said to myself. _I think you've already snapped._

All I could really do at this point was try to stay calm and not give in to Jonathan, I finally decided. There really wasn't much I _could _do. The alternative to that plan was to hide in my room all day. Never leaving my white-walled room didn't sound too appealing.

Dr. Hetzer said that friends and family would help me. I would trust him on that and try to focus on them when Jonathan came around and tried to break me down.

Should I tell Rosalie and the others about my hallucinating? Rose probably wanted to know because she hated being left out of anything, and if she trusted her friends, then I would trust them, too.

I was worried about how Rosalie would take it. I wasn't sure how she took anything to do with what happened, and I didn't want to upset her. She would want to know either way, and she's probably wondering why I was sent to the asylum in the first place. It was only a matter of time until she asked about it.

"Jasper!"

I turned to the familiar voice that called my name behind me. Alice was jogging down the hall towards me. I walked towards her and met her halfway.

"Hey, Alice."

"Hey, Jazz," she said, slightly breathless. "Where have you been?"

"Therapy," I answered.

"That's not what I meant," she muttered. She looked down at the floor and shuffled her feet. "Are you avoiding me?"

When she looked back up at me, I could almost feel my heart crack. Her bottom lip was quivering, and her wide, hurt eyes shone with tears. I never thought that she would be so upset about me avoiding her.

_Well, you just up and disappear without telling her anything, _I scolded myself. _She's right to be upset; you're a jerk._

She wouldn't stop looking at me with that heartbreaking face. I pulled her into a hug. I sighed and said, "Yes, I was avoiding you, but-"

"I'm sorry if I was annoying," she said into my shirt. "I shouldn't have pried so much."

"No, Alice, it's not you," I said. I stroked her hair reassuringly.

She chuckled. "'It's not you, it's me'?"

I laughed with her. "Cliché, but basically. I'm sorry; I wouldn't have avoided you if I knew it would upset you so much."

She sighed. "It's okay." She tilted her head up to look at me. "I know you got a lot of crap going on."

I laughed. "Yeah, basically. I realized that it wouldn't help me to stay away from everyone. Spending time with friends was actually prescribed."

"Good." She rested her head against my chest again. "I'm hungry."

"Come on then," I said with another chuckle, "let's go get some breakfast." She nodded before pulling away and standing beside me. We walked together to the cafeteria, got something to eat, and sat down.

"So is Henry coming tomorrow?" Alice asked conversationally.

"He said that he can visit every Sunday unless something comes up," I answered. "What about Rose and the others?"

"They'll probably show up tomorrow and Sunday," she said. "I don't know what time or anything; they just kinda come whenever, I guess." She ate a spoonful of cereal. "Hey, did you get switched over to weekly sessions?"

"Yeah, Fridays, same time as I have them now."

"I have Thursdays at ten. I asked her why I had weekly sessions now, but she was all, 'It's a private matter and it's not my place to say.'" Alice rolled her eyes.

"Dr. Hetzer told me a little about it," I said. "He said something about a Dr. Raymer was fired because he wanted to "take a different direction" when it came to the patients."

Alice nodded thoughtfully. "I wonder what that direction was…" She took another break to eat. We both ate as we mulled over that. What direction did he want to take that got him _fired? _What was the general direction of the other staff members? If I knew that, maybe it would be easier to figure out what Dr. Raymer wanted to do. His idea would most likely be the exact opposition of what the others wanted.

"Maybe we can figure it out next session," Alice suggested. "You'd probably have a better chance of getting some info than I would." She sighed wistfully. "Your therapist sounds awesome. I'm stuck with Mrs. Stevens."

"Is she really that bad?"

"I don't know. But she wants me to try and get rid of my visions by pushing them away. I just don't know if I want to do that."

"Did you tell her that?"

"… No."

"Well, you might want to start with that," I said before taking a bite of cereal. She shrugged and did the same.

While we ate, something moved in my peripheral vision. Jonathan was sitting to my right. His arms were folded over his chest and his lips were in a tight line. He said nothing, but that wasn't what worried me. He was staring straight at Alice.

Should I tell her what was going on? How would Jonathan react to that? How would Alice react?

"Something wrong?" Alice asked. Do I tell her or not?

I sighed. "Just the usual," I grumbled.

"Jonathan?" she asked. I nodded. "What is he doing?"

"Just sitting beside me, staring… at you."

"That's it? Why?" I shrugged. "He's in the chair, right there?" she questioned and pointed to the chair right of me. I nodded. With that, she stuck her tongue out at him and went back to her cereal.

The corners of his mouth twitched up, and he disappeared.

That was weird, I thought to myself. I would have thought that he would have tried to pick a fight or something like that. He never just came and went like he just did.

Why would he come for no apparent reason? Or _did _he have a reason? What did he want with Alice?

I shook off the questions. Maybe that's why he did it, to make me wonder. I went back to eating. Alice and I both finished around the same time with her finishing first, so she waited for me to be done and we discarded our dishes and trash.

We both decided to head to the common room. When we got there, Alice steered us toward the couch that Jarrett was lazily occupying. I decided that I would get past my unexplainable hatred for him. He honestly seemed like a decent guy, and it wasn't fair that I didn't give him a chance.

"Hey," Alice chirped.

Jarrett looked up and grinned. "Hey."

"What's up?" Alice asked as she sat down.

"Not you," Jarrett replied.

"Shut up," Alice said as she swatted him on the arm. I sat down next to her.

"Jasper," Jarrett greeted with a curt nod.

"Jarrett," I replied with a small smile. Hopefully he got that I had nothing against him if he did see that I wasn't too friendly earlier.

We all made easy conversation. I was glad I got to know Jarrett better; he turned out to be a cool guy. He was funny, but not too arrogant. We all laughed as we talked about different things that we could all relate to.

While we were talking, Jonathan came back. He stood a distance away and had the same posture as before. All he did was look at Jarrett, then Alice, and then he rested his eyes on me. Then, he was gone again to leave me wonder.

**My darling brother fixed the internet, so I can post this. I was worried, but then he's all "I'M GREAT AND SMART AND I SHALL FIXETH THY INTERNET." And he did. On with the show.**

**Favorite Author: misssmeden**

**Favorite Story: Arrow of the Sun, Awesome-Vampire-Pixie, dancestarrforever, misssmeden**

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	23. What A Shame

**So since I got this done a little early and I skipped the last few update days, this is coming early.**

Chapter 23: What A Shame

APOV

I was almost bursting with happiness on Saturday morning. I didn't have therapy, my friends were coming to visit, my mom –and my dad, if I was _extremely _lucky- were going to come sometime this weekend with Cynthia, and Jasper wasn't avoiding me anymore.

I was afraid that by going to bed and leaving him, Jasper thought about something or Jonathan put something in his head that would make him crawl back into his shell and hide. He hadn't specifically told me why he had stayed away, just that he had stuff going on.

Jonathan was the problem. He had to go and traumatize Jasper so bad that he ended up hallucinating. I hated it. I hated him. I wanted to track him down and scream in his face. I wanted him to feel _lots _of guilt for the stupid, unfair he did so many years ago.

Rosalie had been coping with her past pretty well, but she had a family and friends now. Jasper only had Henry until he met me and Rose and the others. It was depressing to think of Jasper's life before, with no friends and his only family being his sister, who could have been dead for all he knew. I wanted to give him a hug just thinking about it.

I smiled at the clock when I realized that I had slept in for another two hours. It felt good. I got out of bed and went to take a shower and get ready for the day. Once I deemed myself presentable, I left my room and went to go find someone to spend my glorious free time with.

Jasper was on the couch in the common room. I grinned and flopped down next to him. He smiled back, which I took as a good sign. The arm that he had propped on the back of the sofa came down to rest around my shoulders.

"Did you get any extra sleep?" I asked him.

"No," he said casually enough, but something haunting was in his eyes when he said it. I decided not to press it.

"Well, I did," I said happily as I stretched my rested limbs. "It's rare that I get any extra sleep, so I decided to take advantage of it."

"That's good," Jasper said. The ghost in his eyes was back. What was haunting him?

I changed the subject. "So, Rosalie and the others will probably visit this afternoon."

Jasper smiled. "I've missed them, actually."

"They'll be happy to hear that." I grinned. "Emmett might cry."

He laughed. "I'd like to see _that_."

"Just because he's big and tough-looking doesn't mean he's not also sensitive," I defended jokingly. We continued talking and laughing until both of our stomachs were growling for attention.

"Didn't you eat yet?" I asked as we made our way to the cafeteria.

"I was waiting for some company," he replied. "I asked Jarrett to come when he walked by, but he mumbled something about an evil woman making him get up at eight in the morning."

I laughed as we got our food. "He probably went back to bed to sleep for the entire day."

We went back to a table and made conversation while we ate. It made me remember our talk yesterday, about the reason behind weekly sessions. Jasper had said someone got fired for wanting to something different from the others, or something along those lines. I couldn't imagine what he would have suggested they do to get him kicked out of the place. Something told me that I didn't want to try to imagine it.

I stopped thinking about it after a minute and went back to eating and talking about lighter things with Jasper. Seeing him laughing and smiling made me think that maybe he would stay out of his shell for good.

After we were done with breakfast, we went back to the common room. Jarrett was lounging on the couch, much to my surprise. He was spread out on the whole sofa, so I kicked his leg to make him move. He just groaned.

"If you're tired, then go back to bed," I said with another kick.

"I can't sleep," he moaned. "I didn't want to stay in my stupid room."

"Well get up," I ordered. When he answered with another groan, I tried dragging his legs off of the couch. They were heavier than I thought.

Jasper nudged me out of the way and dragged Jarrett's legs off. His eyes opened as jasper sat on the cleared space. "Is that what you look like when you turn into The Hulk, Alice? Because it's really not attractive."

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically as I took a seat in between Jasper and Jarrett. Right when I sat down, Jarrett laid back down and put his head on my lap.

"I'm not a pillow," I protested.

"You're right," Jarrett said sleepily. "You're too bony. But it'll work for now."

I rolled my eyes, but let him lay. There was probably no use in arguing, and he really did look tired. I went on talking to Jasper while Jarrett's breathing slowed and he fell asleep.

We watched TV and commented on the show now and then for a half hour maybe when Jarrett began to stir. I thought he was going to wake up, but he just did something that was in between a groan and a moan and went on sleeping. His hand, which was by his face, balled into a loose fist around my pants.

I ignored it at first, but then he whimpered some more and the fist got tighter. His legs curled up into him and he grimaced in his sleep. He honestly looked pained.

"Jazz," I said in warning without taking my eyes off of Jarrett's face. The grimace got deeper, and his moans got a little louder. I had to wake him up.

I got closer to his head. "Jarrett, wake up," I said. He just seemed to wince, and his nightmare continued. "Jarrett," I said louder and with a slap on the arm. He cringed away and buried his face.

"Jasper, what do I do?" I asked in a rushed panic. I finally looked up at him. He seemed to think for a minute, and then his hand went to the back of Jarrett's neck. Jasper pinched him with his thumb and index finger.

Jarrett jerked awake, and Jasper pulled his hand back. He sat upright, blinked, and wiped at the beads of sweat that formed on his forehead with his sleeve.

"What happened?" he slurred.

"You were having a nightmare," I explained. "Jasper woke you up."

Jarrett sighed. "Thanks," he muttered. Jazz nodded. "I shouldn't have fallen asleep," he said as he ran a hand over his face. "Why does the back of my neck hurt?" He rubbed where Jasper pinched him.

"Sorry," Jasper said. "I pinched you to wake you up."

"Oh, okay," was all Jarrett replied with.

"Are you alright?" I asked. He looked a little shaken, and a shade paler than usual.

"Yeah," he said a little louder, like he was trying to convince himself a little with his response. "Just a nightmare." Something dark lurked in his eyes, much like Jasper's had earlier. It was starting to make me curious. But what haunted Jarrett seemed entirely different than Jasper's ghosts, and I didn't have a clue as to what some of Jarrett's secrets could be.

"Hi, Worker Lady!" A familiar voice shouted. The woman that yelled at me and my friends stopped walking at the sound of Emmett's loud greeting to roll her eyes. "CAN I HAVE A HUG?" She rolled her eyes again and walked by.

"Well FINE!" Emmett ran into the common room and spotted me. "Aliiiiiice," Emmett whined. He walked over to me with his head down and shoulders slumped. "She yelled at meeee." He tried to imitate my pout and failed miserably.

"Awwww," I said as I got up. "It's okay." I gave him a hug and jumped up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "All better?"

He grinned and nodded. "Yeaaaah."

Rosalie, Edward, and Bella came into the room. I took turns giving them all hugs. Rosalie was last, and when we said our hellos, she turned to Jasper and said, "Get over here." He grinned and gave her a hug.

Emmett was the first to notice Jarrett. "Who's the dude?"

"Who's the beast?" Jarrett countered.

"Guys, this is Jarrett," I introduced. "Jarrett, this is Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, and Bella."

Everyone said their hellos, and then Jasper and Jarrett got chairs from empty tables while the rest of us spread out on two couches. Emmett and Rose had a couch to themselves while Edward, Bella and I took the second.

Emmett and Edward had an arm around their girlfriends, which I guess made Jarrett feel like he had to scoot his chair closer to Jasper's and put an arm around him. When Jasper raised an eyebrow, Jarrett just winked and said, "Hey, gorgeous." We all laughed while Jasper moved away.

"I like this guy," Emmett declared. Jarrett pumped his fists in the air triumphantly. We asked Jarrett questions about him, like where he was from and about his family. He said that he was from Bremerton, which was southwest of Seattle, and that he had five-year-old twin sisters named Ashley and Annabelle.

Bella mentioned the phone call that Cynthia made telling them about my dad's plan. Cynthia had called them back and said that I had called him and told him not to. Edward added that she said her and my mom would visit tomorrow.

We talked for another half hour or forty-five minutes. Jarrett fit right into the conversations like Jasper had on the first Sunday that they all came.

We were all laughing when more people came. "Jarrett! Jarrett!" little voices yelled. A grin instantly spread over Jarrett's face. Two little blonde girls barreled around the corner and toppled over each other. They were back up in a second and continued to run towards Jarrett.

He leaned down and opened his arms to catch the squealing girls. He lifted them up onto his lap and he kissed their heads. "How are my favorite girls in the world?"

"Good," the girls chanted. They went up and gave him kisses on the cheek.

"Your sisters are so _cute_!" Rosalie squealed. "Which one is which?"

He turned the girls around so we could see them. They both had curly blonde hair that framed their pink cheeks. They were completely identical except the girl on the left had blue eyes and the girl on the right had green eyes.

"This," Jarrett shook the blue-eyed girl a little, which made her giggle, "is Ashley, and this," he shook the green-eyed girl, "is Annabelle."

"Hi," both of the girls said with cute smiles.

"Hi," the rest of us chorused back.

"Down," Annabelle demanded.

"Down," Ashley agreed.

Jarrett obeyed his sisters and let them off of his lap. They ran over to the couch Emmett and Rose occupied and held up their arms to them. Rosalie picked up Ashley while Emmett grabbed Annabelle. Ashley ran her small fingers through Rose's hair. "You're pwetty," she said.

Annabelle ran her own hand over Rosalie's hair. "Oooh," she cooed.

Emmett pouted. "Aren't I pretty?"

Ashley reached out to him, and Emmett picked her up to set her on his lap. Ashley touched Emmett's hair. "You'w pwetty, too."

Annabelle stuck her finger through one of Emmett's curls and pulled it back out. "Boing," she said each time she did it.

Eventually, the twins went over to Bella and Edward. Edward pulled them both up onto his lap. Annabelle and Ashley played with their hair and said that they were pretty, too. Then, they crawled over Edward and Bella to come over to me. They also called me pretty.

"You're both pretty, too," I told them. They both gave me a kiss on the cheek for complimenting them, and they moved onto Jasper to sit on his lap, touch his hair, and call him pretty. Finally, they went back to Jarrett.

"You'w fwiends aw nice," Annabelle said. Ashley nodded, sending her blonde curls bouncing around her face and on her shoulders.

"And they pwetty," Ashley added. It was Annabelle's turn to nod in agreement.

"I'm still the prettiest, though, right?" Jarrett asked his sisters. They both nodded. "I think that they like you, too."

The girls looked around at us, and we all nodded. Something caught their attention. "Mama, Daddy!" Ashley yelled. They slid back off of Jarrett's lap and ran over to the man and woman over by the wall. The woman had blonde curly like her daughters, with shining blue eyes that were the exact same shade as Jarrett's. The man's hair was more of a sandy blonde color, and he had green eyes, but darker than Annabelle's were. They were both lean and good-looking.

Ashley and Annabelle pulled at their parents' legs. Each of them took a girl in their arms and joined our group. Jarrett stood to meet his parents. His mother set Ashley down and hugged him tightly.

"Hey, Mom," Jarrett said.

"I miss you," she replied.

"I miss you, too."

His mom pulled away and picked Ashley back up. His dad stepped up and put Annabelle down to open his arms for a hug.

Jarrett had gone slightly rigid suddenly, but he hugged his father. I remembered how he spoke of his father. The hug was quick. "It's good to see you," his dad said pleasantly.

"Yeah," was all Jarrett said. He scooped Annabelle off of the floor and held her almost protectively; it probably didn't seem like it if you didn't know how Jarrett talked about his dad, I guess. I probably wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't watching closely to how he reacted.

His dad didn't seem to notice, either. He smiled at his son and said, "So how are things here?"

"Fine," Jarrett bit.

His mother frowned. "Jarrett, why don't you introduce us to your friends?"

Jarrett smiled at his mother, probably grateful for the subject change. "This is Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Bella, Edward, and Jasper." As he pointed to each of us, we waved or said hello. Jarrett put an arm around his mom's shoulders "And this is my mother, Margaret," he kissed her cheek as she smiled proudly, "and Tim." His voice became tight. "My… dad."

Margaret and Tim said hello. Tim gave Jarrett a look that I couldn't decipher. Jarrett didn't look too happy about it. "We'll just go," he said, and he steered his family away from us and to an empty table in the back.

"They seem nice," Bella said. The others nodded in agreement. We got back into conversation, but I was only half listening. They did seem nice. _All _of them, even Tim. Why would Jarrett want him to stay away? His mother and sisters didn't seem to have the same discomfort around him… did he do something to upset him? One thing was for sure, I was missing something. I just couldn't tell if it was a minor thing or if it was something more.

One of these days, I'm going to piece together the puzzle that is my friend Jarrett.

**Favorite Author: missalexwhitlock123, .Buddiiee.101.x**

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**Reviews: Obsidian Sparkle, Awesome-Vampire-Pixie, Zikare, The love of hate, Ghostwriter626, Skylar87, missalexwhitlock123, xxBoyMeetsGirlxx (actually, it was for Chapter 18, but she's catching up, so it works)**


	24. Justify

Chapter 24: Justify

Jarrett POV

My family sat at a table together. I was a little grateful to get away from Alice and her friends; there was a look on her face that showed that she was catching on to too much, and I was starting to feel awkward with them and my family all together. I was also afraid that I would slip up somehow with keeping this damn secret that's not even mine. It was a haunting, constant fear.

I wasn't sure what Tim would do if the secret did somehow get out because of me. Would he hurt me to keep his name clear? No. If I said anything, it wouldn't matter. Any information I had on him wasn't accountable because Tim shut me in here. My mind was unstable. Stress made me lie. I should be in here. Yeah right.

What I needed was proof, but how would I get it? I didn't even know if he took his props out of the basement and moved the table and weapons back in. He could have moved his things to a place out of the house. I didn't know because I wasn't there to watch him.

He couldn't stay there. He couldn't be around my family if he was still murdering innocent people. What would he do if Mom found out? One of my sisters? No one would believe Tim if he said that Mom was crazy, too. Even if he made the excuse that I scared them into believing it, there was sure to be an investigation just in case. He knew that. Would he use one of his weapons against them? Would he kill them? The thought made me nauseous.

I looked at my mother, then my giggling little sisters, and finally at Tim. Annabelle was sitting on his lap like she's done hundreds of times. It had seemed harmless before, but now I couldn't help but think about what he could do to her. To Ashley. To my mother. They trusted him. They loved him. Did he really love them in return, or was it an act? Would he sacrifice them to keep his dangerous secret?

Thinking of possibilities and maybes wouldn't keep them safe from him. I had to take some kind of action. That was the only sure thing I've thought of lately.

"Jarrett," Mom said to get my attention, "your birthday is next week! We have to arrange for a pass!"

A pass was given to patients that were "stable" enough to be given some time out of the asylum for about a day, sometimes a night, too. I get a pass for my sisters' birthday, my birthday, Christmas, and Easter. Seeing my entire family –cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents- was a little awkward at first, but now they treat me like I was another normal family member and not a raving lunatic. Some can even joke about it, which I take lightly.

"I'll go do that now," Mom said excitedly. I took Ashley, and she went to the front desk. I played with Ashley's curly hair and avoided eye contact with Tim. I could feel his eyes boring into my head, but I just wrapped a blonde curl around my finger and let it spring free.

Being at the house was always a little tense for me. I made sure not to stare too long at the basement door, and I resisted the temptation to sneak down there to see if the equipment was replaced. I tried to act indifferent when Tim did normal things instead of thinking of them as weird. And I tried to sound normal calling him Dad. It was all a little painful.

I stopped playing with Ashley's hair. That was it. I would get some kind of proof when I went to the house next week. I was too busy avoiding the basement that I never thought about the truth it held. The truth through that door would set me free.

Mom came back then and took Ashley back. "It's all set," she chirped as she sat.

I suddenly remembered Tim. Did he notice that I froze? Was he suspicious? I glanced at him. "Great," he said to my mother with a smile. He looked back at me, and I held his gaze. He didn't look like he had caught on to my plan. I averted my eyes to the table in front of me. I had to act natural.

"Jarrett looks tired," Tim said as if he actually cared about how I looked. "We should let him get some rest." Yeah, you would know that I needed rest from the nightmares _you _caused. Bastard.

Mom nodded. "Say goodbye, girls."

Ashley and Annabelle slid to the floor and ran over to me. I kneeled on the floor so that they could hug me. "Bye, Bwuhdah," they both said sadly.

"Hey, I'll see you for my birthday," I told them. I tried to sound upbeat, but I was sad they were going. It was like waiting a week to see the sun for only a few minutes. "I get to stay the whole day."

"You'll be spending the night, too," Mom added. Good. If I was going to find something, I would do it at night.

The twins seemed to cheer up a bit. I hugged my mother, and then Tim opened his arms. I wanted to punch him in the face, but I hugged him, anyway, because mom would think that I hated him for putting me in here. I did, and for so many other reasons, but I didn't want her to know that and feel sad about it.

"Come on, girls," Tim said. The twins waved and followed him out. Mom stayed back.

"You know that he did this for your own good, don't you?" She always asked me this after every visit. I guess she saw my discomfort around Tim and thought it was resentment. Well, _purely_ resentment. She didn't know of the fear.

"Of course," I said. I couldn't help my bitter tone when I answered her each time she asked. I hated how she didn't understand.

She smiled, but it was tight and forced. "Alright, honey." She hugged me before she walked away and out the door.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Now that they were gone, I was tired again. Time to go back to my crappy room and get choppy, nightmare-filled sleep.

When I passed Alice and her friends, they looked up as if expecting me to join them. I didn't look at them as I passed. They let me go. I was grateful for that; I was feeling all angry and anti-social. I didn't want to deal with people right now.

I collapsed onto my plain bed once I finally got to it. The walk down the hall seemed like it took forever. I passed out before I could make myself crawl up and get under the covers.

_When I woke up, my bedroom was still dark except for a beam of moonlight that came through the window and spilled onto the floor. In the beam stood a man. The same man, I realized, that I saw shackled to the table in the basement._

_ My blood ran cold. He was still covered in wet blood that glistened. His jeans and T-shirt were badly torn; I could see angry, deep cuts and slashes in his skin._

_He had one wrist clasped in his other hand, and his head was bowed. When I sat up startled, he raised his head. He only looked about three years or so older than me, at least no more than early twenties. Even with stubble on his chin, he looked so young and innocent. So undeserving of his fate._

_After a minute of his staring, I finally spoke. "What do you want?" I asked in a gravelly voice. It might have masked how scared I was._

"_Justice," the man replied. His voice rang out clearly in the room. "And you can give it to me."_

"_N-no, I can't. I really can't." My voice shook that time. What would he do to me to get the justice he wanted?_

"_Yes," he argued, "you can. Turn him in. Let my family know what happened to me."_

_I had seen the man on the news. Michael Collins, age 21. He was a college student, just four years older than me. They showed a clip of his parents; his mother was crying, and his father had said, "Please, if anyone knows anything about our boy, if anyone out there can help us, _please _contact the police station." _

_I haven't watched the news since. I knew that I would wonder if every missing person on the screen was a victim. I would feel sick looking at the devastated families on the TV. The people who deserved justice that I could give them._

"_I'm sorry." My voice cracked._

"_You're selfish, Jarrett Moore," Michael said. He didn't sound angry. It was just a comment. "I like your shirt. Saw your mom at the store the other day. You're selfish."_

"_I want to," I told him, "but I can't."_

"_Others want justice, too," he went on. "Others will die. You're killing them as much as your father is."_

"_Please," a small voice said. A girl was standing at my headboard to the right of me. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a dark purple shirt with a military jacket over the top. Her hair was black, and the bottom part of it was dyed blue. Her black makeup streaked her bloody and scratched face. She was just as bloody and tattered as Michael, but she only looked about fourteen._

_I had caught a glimpse of her on the TV, too. She went to a high school in Port Angeles. They think that she had been kidnapped when she cut school one day. This was before I found out about Tim. I hadn't thought much of her then._

"_I'm sorry, I'm _so _sorry." I wasn't scared anymore. I was pleading for their understanding and apologizing for something I could but couldn't do. I was shaking my head and looking back and forth between them. "I can't."_

_The girl was crying silently. Her tears swam with her blood. It tore at my chest like the claws of a beast. I had a sword, but my enemy was holding it. I had something to fight this guilt with, but I couldn't use it. So many people counted on me._

_Michael was crying, too, I noticed. Both his and the girls' half-blood-half-saltwater tears began to hit the floor. With each drop to hit the hardwood floor, a painful cut was slashed into my skin. I cried out each time an invisible knife stabbed at me. Blood soaked my skin and bed._

_My mother was there, just as bloody and scarred as Tim's victims. She was crying just like the others. Her tears caused more painful cuts to appear on my chest._

_The twins were there. The emotional and physical pain was becoming too much to bear._

_Alice was there. Jasper was there, his face full of loathing, hate-filled eyes boring into mine as he cried. No one made a sound but me._

_The awful pain was too much. I thrashed to try and stop the knife I couldn't see, but I seemed to miss each time, because the blade came down and tore at my skin and clothes._

_I couldn't breathe. My attempts only made pained rasping noises. My chest was heavy, crushing my lungs, cutting off my air. They just watched. I couldn't take it…_

"WAKE _UP!_"

I took in a large gulp of air and shot up. I was on the floor next to my bed. Jasper was breathing as hard as I was next to me. My throat burned, and my face was damp with tears and sweat. My shirt clung to my slick skin.

"What…," was all I could manage. I was still taking in as much air as I could. It felt so good to breathe again.

Jasper regained his breath before I could to say anything else. "I was passing by and I heard you hit the floor… then you just kept thrashing and screaming… I tried to wake you up, but you just wouldn't…"

I brought my knees up and hugged them to me. My forehead rested on them. "Sorry…" I didn't really know what I was apologizing to him for. Maybe it was the look he gave me in the nightmare. Maybe it was for him seeing that. Sorry just seemed like the only thing to say.

"It's fine, man… I thought mine were bad."

"Your what?"

"Nightmares." He shuddered.

"Oh. Yeah." I couldn't help but shudder, too.

He paused thoughtfully. "Should I go?"

"Yeah, I'm good," I lied. He saw it too, but he got off of the floor and helped me up.

"Okay. Um… good luck, I guess."

Luck wouldn't do anything. I nodded in thanks at his effort, though. He waved and left.

I went into the bathroom and ran the water in the shower. Once I got in, I scrubbed myself clean in the freezing water. I half expected the water to be tinged red, but it went down the drain with the soap clearly.

Once I was done, I put on fresh clothes and went back to my bed. I had no intention of sleeping. The nightmare woke me up and sent thoughts swirling.

That dream was different than the others. There was never that much pain. Tim's victims always hurt me if it wasn't Tim himself. No dream was ever so horrible.

Michael was in college. The blue-haired girl was just a kid. My mother and sisters were my family and in danger. Alice and Jasper were my friends. None of them benefited from me. The victims had hope that I would give them justice and got disappointment in return. If they could have come back from the dead, they would have that hope, and would have it dashed the same way.

All of their lives were so important and promising. The living deserved safety and the dead deserved integrity. Tim had me living in fear and guilt.

This would all end. Safety and justice is what people will get from me. The truth would set me free.

**I expected this to be a crappy filler when I started, but hey, I turned it into some of the plotline. Funny how that works.**

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	25. Fake

**It might be Monday for some people when this is posted; my apologies. Better late than never?**

Chapter 25: Fake

JPOV

I was happy when Wednesday's group therapy came around, because at least that would be something to do. I've been talking to Alice, but that's about the only other thing I've been doing here besides sleeping. I needed a change sometime, and therapy looked like the only option.

Most of the others were in the room when I arrived. There was a girl that wasn't there, and Jarrett was also missing. I remembered him saying something about a pass for Wednesday, and how much I wished that I could escape for a day, too. Fresh air was something you took for granted and and absence noticed when it was too late.

At least one of us would be free for a day. Jarrett deserved to get out; I still remembered the way he looked on Saturday. It was the first time I had ever seen fear cross his eyes. He seemed so stricken from his nightmare that it made me wonder how he could hold himself together throughout the day. He needed some time out of here. He might forget about the place for awhile. It's what I wanted to do.

I sat in the empty seat beside Alice. "Hey," she greeted cheerfully.

"Hi," I replied.

She sighed longingly. "Jarrett is _so _lucky. I wanna get out of here so bad…"

"Me too," I agreed. "I don't know when we can qualify for one. He said something about them having to know that you could handle it or something."

She huffed. "Well, they'd better hurry up and decide. I'm going crazy just sitting in here."

I didn't point out that, technically, we were already crazy. Either way, I didn't think that Alice was insane or anything. She was just talented. Her visions were no illness. I, on the other hand, was crazy. I didn't except it, exactly, but I've learned to live with it and tried my best to get better.

"Good luck with that."

Jonathan was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room beside Jenny. His elbows were propped on the back of the chair, and his legs were spread in front of him casually.

The absent girl appeared through the door and quickly took her seat beside another girl. "Okay, Jarrett has a pass," Jenny said, "so looks like we're ready to begin!"

"Yay!" Jonathan cheered sarcastically.

"Let's go around the circle and tell everyone how we're doing," Jenny continued. "And be truthful, everyone. No one is here to judge."

"Not out loud, anyways," Jonathan added.

"Michelle, you can start us off."

Michelle cleared her throat and sat up straighter, like she was about to give an important speech. "Well," she began in a high-pitched voice, "I think I'm getting better, personally. I mean, like, I'm not hearing as much, so that's gotta be, like, awesome progress, right?"

"Yes, I would say that's very nice progress," Jenny said. Jonathan scoffed. Michelle tossed her hair and grinned. "Erin, let's move over to you. How do you think you're progressing?"

We went around the circle and gave a brief report on how each person thought they were progressing. I tried to ignore Jonathan's comments the best I could.

When Steve finished, there was a pause. I realized it was my turn. Jonathan sat up straighter to listen.

"Jasper, your turn," Jenny pushed.

"I know," I said a little too sharply. "Sorry," I mumbled. Jonathan was staring intently at me, waiting, and it was a bit unnerving.

"Do you need a minute?" Margaret asked softly. She hasn't said much throughout the session, but I found that she was kind and considerate of the other people here.

I gave her a small smile. "No, I'm fine, thank you."

"Seeing as we don't know your condition," Jenny said, "you'll have to fill us in."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "Shut _up,_" he muttered. "You're so _annoying._"

"Alright." I took a deep breath and let it out. Alice was staring in concern. She probably thought I was lying about being fine. I gave her a reassuring smile. She smiled back.

"I… hallucinate," I explained without making eye contact with anyone. "I don't think it's getting better. I don't know." I rested my elbows on my knees and ran my hands through my hair.

"What do you hallucinate?" Jenny asked the question I hoped wouldn't come up.

"A person." I hoped I could get away with that.

"Who is this person? What did they do?" I guess my vague response wasn't enough.

"Did you honestly think you would get away with that?" Jonathan asked with incredulous laughter. "And I'm hurt. Won't you introduce me?"

I bit my tongue to keep myself from answering him out loud.

"Jasper, what are you looking at?" Margaret asked curiously. She was more observant than I gave her credit for.

I chuckled dryly. "I'm hallucinating right now, actually. I was hoping no one would notice."

"Ah, hope," Jonathan mused. "Something I love to see squashed. Preferably when I do the squashing."

I focused on other people's reactions instead of Jonathan's comment. Some people looked around as if they could see him if they looked hard enough. Some looked surprised. Jenny and Margaret exchanged a glance.

"Who do you see?" Jenny asked again.

"A guy named Jonathan." I didn't want to go into the horrifying details with so many strangers in the room.

"And how is Jonathan significant?"

"Good luck getting out of _that _one," Jonathan said with a smirk.

I paused. "Do I have to go into that?"

"Talking always helps," Jenny replied. "I think that you should tell us-"

"No," Margaret cut in. "You don't have to tell us today." She shot Jenny a warning look. Jenny looked annoyed, but didn't press it.

Jonathan looked annoyed, too. "Damn, and I thought this was gonna be fun for me." I thought that he would leave, but he just slumped down in his chair again and regained his hung-back posture.

"Should we move on?" Margaret asked. She looked at Alice without waiting for Jenny's answer. Alice glanced at me; she looked nervous. I nodded in encouragement. She smiled faintly before looked up at the others.

"Well, I can see the future," she said simply. Her eyes swept over the others. The girls were whispering to each other, and every person in the room looked intrigued.

"Looks like your girlfriend can cause quite a stir," Jonathan noted.

"Sh-," I began, but I caught myself before I could speak to him out loud. _"She's not my girlfriend," _I finished in my head. He just scoffed.

Whoever glanced at me when I slipped now had their attention back to Alice.

I didn't notice Jenny and her skeptical expression. Her doubt was hidden, but I could see that it was there. "Can you explain that, Alice?"

"Well, my vision just gets blurry, and then I can sorta see what will happen. They just kinda come on without much warning."

Everyone was listening intently, some even leaning forward a bit so they didn't miss a word she said. When she paused, people exchanged glances. Jenny looked at Margaret like Alice was making everything up. She seemed surprised when Margaret didn't acknowledge her colleague; she was staring at Alice with a mixture of curiosity and awe.

Jenny didn't seem to like this. She put her positive listening face on and said, "How do you know that these are really things that will happen, what you see?"

Alice was starting to see the therapist's displeasure and doubt. "There's proof!" Alice replied. "In my first vision, I saw the subway train I was on crashing, and-"

"That obviously did not happen," Jenny cut in, "if you're still here without injury."

"Because I pulled the emergency brake," Alice continued. "I got in trouble for that because no one would believe me. I went to the police station, and a guy came in with a paper that said the trains would have crashed if I wouldn't have stopped it."

Everyone's eyes went to Jenny for her response. Her cheeks were getting pink, and she stayed silent for a long minute. Whispers went through the room to fill the quiet. The whispers turned into talking loud enough for me to hear.

"Do you believe it?"

"She said there's proof."

"Do you think they have that report in her file?"

"Settle down, please," Jenny said over the voices. They fell silent. "I think we should move on. Mark?"

The boy next to Alice spoke, but it wasn't about himself. "So do you believe her?" Mark asked.

All eyes were back to the therapist. "We have moved on from that discussion, Mark."

"And I'm going back to it," he shot back. His expression went from determination to chagrin, like he was afraid to get scolded for talking back to her.

"You think she's lying?" Shane accused from three seats away.

Jenny was about to deny it when Erin cried, "That's not fair!" Other people got into the argument and tried to talk over each other to be heard.

I ignored the pandemonium going on around me and the pleasure Jonathan seemed to be getting from the fighting and looked at Alice. Hurt was buried deep in her eyes under anger. She met my gaze. "Why won't anyone believe me?" Her voice portrayed the hurt.

I didn't want her to be upset. I put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed gently. "I know it's hard," I said sympathetically. "Some people just don't accept differences in other people. They deny that the differences are good."

She sighed and slid her chair closer to mine to rest her head on my shoulder. "That makes sense," she muttered, "but it's not fair. I don't know anyone who will accept it that can help me out with it. At least _someone _believes me." She looked up at me and smiled. "Thank you."

I could hear Jonathan chuckle dryly from across the room. "Not your girlfriend, huh?"

"_I can be a good friend," _I replied in my head.

"Yeah, a _really _good friend." He rolled his eyes and went back to enjoying the chaos.

Suddenly, Jenny couldn't take it anymore. "EVERYONE BE _QUIET_!"

Shock seemed to silence the others. I guess they weren't used to her yelling when she was always so positive and bubbly all the time. It was a bit unnerving.

"This discussion is _over,_" she seethed. "Time is up. We'll pick up with Mark next week. You are dismissed."

Everyone slowly and silently got up and left the room. With one last laugh in Jenny's direction, Jonathan disappeared.

I walked down the hall with Alice at my side. She seemed to cheer up a bit now that she was out of that room and away from Jenny. I was glad that I didn't have her for one-on-one therapy. At first I would have said that because of her over-positive attitude about everything, but today altered my reasoning. I had seen that her cheerfulness was so thick to cover her hidden irritation and negativity. What did she really think of the people she was treating?

"I'm just going to go to bed," Alice said as she stretched her arms over her head.

"Alright," I replied. "I guess I'll see you later."

"Yeah." We were standing where we would have to part to get to out rooms. I waved and turned to go, but she caught my arm. "Wait a sec."

I swung back around. "Yeah?"

"Thanks. I mean, thanks for… well, everything?" She smiled sheepishly. "For being my friend, and believing in me, and making me feel better."

I grinned in return. "Thanks for being _my_ friend. You make a pretty good one."

"Good. And so do you." She took her hand off of my arm and walked away. After a moment, I did the same.

When I got to my room and onto my bed, I closed my eyes and let the morning and the questions it raised play around in my head. I didn't trust Jenny at all, or respect her. She didn't deserve it. She barely even heard Alice out about her visions when she seemed to actually listen to the others there. What made her so different that she didn't deserve respect?

A loud sigh cut into my thoughts. "Thinking about her _again_?" Jonathan asked. He was sitting against the wall and staring at the ceiling.

"What do you mean by that?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed twice as loud as he did before. "Are you serious? Are you _blind_?"

"_What_?" I asked again.

He opened his mouth, but seemed to change his mind on what he was about to say. "No. I'll let you figure that one out."

"Hey, if you're going to be in my head, at least tell me something about it."

"No." I thought he would leave, but he didn't. What was he gaining from staying?

"If you're staying, you have to tell me what you're talking about."

His eyes slid down to stare at me incredulously. He stood up and walked closer to me. "Since when did _you _call the shots here?" When I didn't answer, a smirk found its way to his lips. "That's right, you don't. I can come when I want, stay as long as I want, and say or not say what I want." He sat back down on the floor so he was between the side of the bed and the wall. "And for forgetting that, I'll stick around to give you a reminder."

A horrible feeling formed at the pit of my stomach at his tone and leer. He had something planned, and it wasn't good.

**Ooooooh, intrigue.**

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	26. Edge of the Earth

**So I start school next Monday, which might affect my update schedule. I would probably move updates to once a week after this Sunday.**

Chapter 26: Edge of the Earth

Jarrett POV

"Eat some more, honey, you look so thin!"

"Really, I can't eat anymore." I had already eaten past my fill. If I try and stuff anything else down my throat, I would puke. It did feel good to have my mother's warm home cooking in my stomach.

The twins were now running around the table, giggling and shrieking. "Shouldn't have let them have so much ice cream," Mom muttered.

When they came around to my side of the table, I grabbed them and set them on my lap. "What do you wanna do?" I asked them.

They both thought. "Movie," Ashley said. Annabelle nodded in agreement. With that, I stood up with them both in my arms and carried them over to the living room.

"Go and pick one," I told them. They both ran over to the shelf with the movies and looked through them. While they were choosing, I went back to the kitchen, where Mom and Tim were cleaning up the dishes. "What do you need me to do?" I asked Mom.

"Go back in there and relax," she said with a shove towards the living room. "You're visiting for your birthday; you're not doing any chores."

"Then you're not, either. Can't you leave them for tonight?"

She sighed and glanced at the sink. "Let me just rinse them and I'll be right in," she negotiated.

"I got them," Tim said as he took the last load of dishes from the table.

"Oh, thanks," Mom replied. Tim stopped to kiss her cheek before heading to the sink with the dishes. I didn't miss the look he gave me before doing so, and he probably didn't miss my wince.

"Let's go," Mom said. I shook it off and tried my best at acting natural. She didn't seem suspicious or anything.

The girls ran up to us when we entered, Annabelle holding The Little Mermaid. "_Dis _one," Ashley declared. I took the movie from Annabelle and popped it into the VCR.

Tim came into the room. He sat on the couch, and Mom took the seat beside him. I sat beside her. Tim and Mom each lifted a girl onto their laps.

I couldn't pay attention to the movie long. My mind went back to what I had to do tonight. I didn't want to put finding anything off any longer. Hopefully, there would be something _to _find.

I would go around three or four in the morning, when it would be most likely that everyone would be deep asleep. Sometimes at around two in the morning, I could hear someone – my guess was Tim – walking past my room and a door shutting at the end of the hall, where Mom and Tim's bedroom was. I heard nothing between that time and seven, when Tim got up for work. I figured it would be the best time to go in between, but not too early.

An old book bag from past school years was sitting in my room that contained a flashlight and a camera.If I found something that was good evidence, only then would I take it; I didn't want Tim to notice that anything was missing, but some things might nail him on the spot in the courtroom. I wouldn't just pass those things up.

The final part of my plan was getting back upstairs and hiding the bag. When I came to the house and I had the time alone, I went straight to my closet. Two floorboards were loose enough to pry up and stash stuff under them. The things that I had hidden there were untouched. I packed some of those things in the small bag I had brought from the asylum and made sure that the other items left enough room for the bag. That's where I would stash it until I left in the morning.

A cold fist of worry clenched in my stomach. What if there was nothing to find, no leads to go on? Would I ever know if Tim had stopped? What if he caught me sneaking around?

The last question I could answer somewhat. He would be even more careful. But what would he do to me?

I was starting to get a headache from the questions knocking around in my mind. I needed a clear head for the plan to run more smoothly. I knew that I should get some sleep because I was wore out, but I wasn't about to fall asleep in the living room. I wouldn't let my mother and sisters see how affected I was by what had happened.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed," I said.

"Okay, hon," Mom replied. "Good night."

"Good night."

"Bye, bwuhdah!

"Bye!"

"Good night, Jarrett." I flinched at the last one as I went up the stairs to my room. I sat on the bed and grabbed the cell phone I never used from the drawer in the nightstand. I set an alarm so it would vibrate at three in the morning and slid it under my pillow.

I checked to see that the bag was at the foot of my bed still, just in case. No one had moved it. I laid back down on the bed and instantly fell asleep.

A nightmare of Tim catching me in the basement and torturing me woke me up. When I controlled my breathing a little, I noticed my vibrating pillow. I took the phone out from under my pillow and dismissed the alarm. It was 3:14. Time to move.

I padded to the end of my bed after slipping my phone into my pocket and slung one of the straps of the bag onto my shoulder. Not bothering to put shoes on, I crept out the door in my socks, jeans, and T-shirt because I was too lazy to put pajamas on earlier.

The door moved soundlessly when pulled out of the way. I didn't shut it all the way to avoid the noise it would make clicking into place. Before going downstairs, I put my ear to my mom's bedroom door. Tim's light snores could be heard.

I snuck down the hall as quietly as possible. Luckily, the wooden floors weren't too old, so they didn't creak as I made it to the stairs. Heading down the staircase was done just as silently.

As I crossed the living room, I was as cautious as before even though the sounds of my footsteps were impossible to detect from upstairs. Then I was in the kitchen where the dining table was. It was also where the basement door was located.

I took a deep breath. _You _have _to do this no matter what, _I said to myself. _Suck it up, because it's not just for your freedom. You have a family to protect. You had other families that had to know what happened to their loved ones._

My hand found the cool knob. _You can do this. _The knob turned. _Almost there. _The door opened soundlessly. _Go. _I went.

My socked feet gave off no echoes as I slowly descended on the cement steps. As I did, I took the flashlight from my bag. I didn't want to turn the light on for fear of it shining under the door. The air got colder as I went down. It seemed like forever when I finally stepped onto the level floor. I shivered, but only half of the chill was from the cold basement. I rounded the corner.

A small sigh of relief escaped my lips. It was the desk that I saw instead of the table. More lights were put into the ceiling. No weapons. No blood. It was like what I had seen three years ago was a dream.

The camera wouldn't be any help now. So what useful proof would he keep here? _Would _he keep anything here?

The thought of leaving empty-handed brought the feeling of failing myself and the people who counted on tonight's success. I at least had to _try_ to find something.

After I put the bag down, I went to the desk and rifled through the drawers. Just papers and other lawyer crap. The top of the desk had a stapler, a pencil holder, and a framed family photo. That was taken maybe a month before I came down here when I was fifteen. I resisted the urge to flip it over or be overly-dramatic and smash it against the wall. That might cause some noise.

Desperate, I checked the bookshelf. Just books. Maybe there was a secret compartment? I pulled each book out a little, but nothing happened except I realized that I watched too many movies.

There was nowhere else to look. That feeling of failure started to creep up again. No. I had to keep looking.

_Maybe there's a secret safe behind a picture frame, _my inner movie nerd offered. I chucked the idea at first, but then I thought about the possibility being real and I would have missed it because it sounded stupid.

So I started taking picture frames off of the walls. The first one was of Grandma and Grandpa on the far left wall. I was relieved when I found nothing behind that one. Who would want to find a safe full of psycho killer crap behind their grandparents' picture? I moved on to Annabelle's baby picture, then Ashley and Annabelle together, then Ashley's baby picture. Nothing.

The photo of Mom and Tim holding them as newborns had only smooth cement behind it. Same went with the single shot of me as a newborn and Mom holding me. Then I was at the back wall, where the pictures became more recent. Those were the fancy pictures where it had you standing by a tree or sitting on a log or something.

I looked behind Mom and Tim sitting on a rock by a river. When I found nothing, I moved to a picture frame with three photos; one for each twin, and then them sitting together. Nothing was there, either.

The family portrait and the nothingness behind it had me getting frustrated. This was a waste of time. What if Tim caught me because I didn't take the chance to leave now? Still, I kept on moving pictures out of the way.

Two pictures were left on the back wall. Only cement was behind the one of me with my arms around the girls. Then it was me leaning against a tree. I seemed to have a glow in the picture. Maybe it was the light. Maybe it was my blonde hair instead of the black I had now. Maybe it was my natural handsomeness. I was leaning towards the latter.

My thoughts of how hot I was stopped when I saw the safe behind it. First came the joy of finding it, which made the inner nerd push his glasses back up his nose and tie a cape around his neck. Then I realized it was _my_ picture it was behind. Hatred flushed some of the joy out of my system. _Asshole. _Then dread washed it all away; there was the lock to consider. I had no idea what the three-number combination was.

_Shit, shit, shit. _Now what? First I set the picture on the floor. Then I shined the beam of light on the lock and stared blankly at it. Not much got accomplished there.

Remembering my time limit, I racked my brain frantically. What could the damn combo be? I tried all of our birth dates, but none of them worked. Tim was way too smart for that amateur stuff. It would be something significant in his life somehow, but something no one would think of just in case someone did discover his secret safe.

He had such an advantage with this whole thing against me. He wasn't trapped, and he worked with criminals enough to be an unstoppable one. I had nothing on that.

Wait… what if that's where he got his ideas from? The people he put away? I'm sure tons of those people had tri-digit codes for their safes where they kept secret criminal stuff. Looks like his advantages would turn against him in my hands.

I hurried back to the desk and tugged all of the drawers open: three on the right and one long one that was at the very top, which had some paper clips and shit that would do nothing to help. I started at the top right, which didn't have anything of use. The second one had one with a safe code, but it was of his girlfriend's birth date.

I hit nothing in the last drawer. Despair punched at my chest. I was so close, yet so far away. It would kill me to leave here in the morning with that "Get Out of Asylum Free" card sitting right there, safely locked away.

Standing from the chair, I raised a hand to close the top drawer, but something caught my eye; a small, black leather book. I probably wouldn't have noticed anything significant about it if his pocket calendar wasn't on the other end of the drawer from it. I didn't know what this other book was or what it contained. Maybe he had written the combination in a corner of a page.

I picked up the book and flipped through the pages. Dates were scrawled on the pages with paragraphs of his neat handwriting below them. A journal.

Maybe an entry would lead to a clue of some sort. One of these dates could bring a specific memory that he would want to use for the lock combo, or maybe he wrote the code in one of his entries. If not, I guess I would have to wait until the next time I came here to do something about the safe. Where could one find a stethoscope?

I started at the beginning, dated March 5th, 2002. Did he keep any journals before this? They were probably in his room if he did. I flipped ahead and saw that the entry continued on the back and some of the next page. I was going to just skim the first entry, but when I started reading it, I couldn't stop.

_His name was Jonathan Streck. His trial was yesterday, and what an interesting trial it was. He immediately pleaded guilty, which wasn't much of a feat except that it made the process of prosecution easier, but it was the way he said it that threw me. It was usually a plead uttered with shame, but he said it without remorse or regret with his head held high._

_ I went on with the questioning, being the opposing lawyer, and I asked for a motive. A light seemed to come into his eyes at my question, and he went on about how he did it for the power it brings and the extra rewards that come with it. _

_The way he spoke of killing disgusted some, but it made so much sense to me. He put power into a whole new light for me. He took the people who thought of others as rungs on the social ladder and put them in their place. He made a loud and clear statement._

_All I could think about was how many people I knew that had to be put in their place. How many people did I see every day that were on such high pedestals that never thought about being pushed off? _

_The trial possessed my mind that night and the next day. I was in the city that night walking to the bus stop; my car was being serviced and I had no other car. I was passing an alley when someone called out to me._

_A stranger emerged from the alley. He was a thug that strutted like he was better than everyone else. He acted like he was better than me, even though he was just a teenager. He wanted my money, but I didn't give it to him. He shoved me into the alley and was going to take it by force._

_He pulled a knife, but I managed to take it from his loose grasp. He lunged, and instinct took over as I plunged the knife into his stomach._

_I didn't make the same sloppy mistakes as the many people I put away. I only got blood on the sleeve of my suit jacket, which I washed out the best I could before disposing of it. I emptied the trash from a trash bag in the Dumpster in the alley and put his body in it. I cleaned the blood from the ground thoroughly and buried the body in a wooded area that was closed off. I would have burned the body, but it would have taken too much time._

_I had felt the power that Jonathan had spoken of only the day before. That ignorant teenager had been pushed off of his pedestal and suffered the fall._

_I know what I must do now._

My hands shook by the end of the entry. I put the journal back down on the desk and sat, suddenly lightheaded. I put my head in my hands and breathed in and out slowly.

2002 was when he had started this sick fetish. He had been fooling us all for so long. He had covered his tracks like a pro and never got caught. If I hadn't stumbled upon his secret, it would still _be _a secret.

He respected this Jonathan guy, this criminal, this _murderer. _One man got him hooked on _killing. _It was worse than being addicted to some drug and relishing in the high without thinking about what it did you yourself and others. This hurt others in a different way. A worse way.

I pushed the sickness away and focused. I was on a mission. Spy mode switched on in my brain. Think; what could the combination be?

Focusing was hard when you find out that your dad was a psycho all over again. I couldn't even think of him as my father anymore. I wanted nothing to do with him. I wanted this all to go away.

Why did this Jon dude have to be such a freak and get Tim hooked on something terrible? I wanted to kill him. No, not _kill _him kill him, but just beat the crap out of him so he can live to regret what he's done. Tim's respect for him made me sick.

That stupid trial changed everything in the shittiest way possible. It made my dad into a psychotic stranger and me into a lunatic.

Wait. Wait one freaking minute. _That was it. _The date of the trial was the combination!

I shot up and jogged over to the wall safe. The entry said that the trial was the day before. I spun to the three clockwise and then went counter-clockwise to the four. A fist clenched my heart as I spun the lock to the two. I closed my eyes and pulled.

The door came with my hand instead of staying stubbornly closed. I almost laughed with the happiness and relief that overcame me. Before looking at the safe's contents, I pulled the phone out of my pocket to check the time. It was almost four; I should get moving.

Inside the safe was a big black binder. I took it out and flipped the cover back. A picture accompanied what looked like a report on the person. I skimmed the first page quickly without lingering on the picture to see "Kill Date" with a month, day and year beside it. There was also a burial site listed.

I would have to take the whole thing with me; partially for lots of solid evidence and another part for how unprofessional crumpled papers would look. I went back to the desk and took the journal, too. I stuffed them both into the book bag sitting on the floor before going back to the wall safe.

I shut the safe door and replaced my portrait. _Fuck you, _I thought to Tim. I let the beam sweep the room to make sure that everything looked untouched. Satisfied, I slunk back upstairs while turning the flashlight off and sliding it into the pocket of my jeans.

Another sigh of relief was breathed when I made it back to my bedroom. I actually fucking did it. I permitted myself hushed laughter for my effort. Now that I was safe, I looked back on the whole thing and how super-secret-agent-spy I felt.

But I still wasn't done. The bag had to be stashed away. Then I could go to bed and maybe dream peacefully.

I grabbed the bag and carried it over to the closet. When I bent down to move the boards, I heard a tearing of fabric. The first thing I thought was, "Well, that's embarrassing." Then I realized that my pants were still intact, but the bag wasn't. A hole must have caught on the dresser knob or something and tore it open.

Well, the bag _was _from around fourth grade. I took the binder and journal out of the ripped bag, chucked it into my closet, and searched for a new one that would hold.

No bags were in my closet. I got up from my kneeling position, tripped over my damn shoes after taking a step, and fell back down with a loud _thump. _

_SHIT. _I stayed still, barely even breathing. I didn't hear anything from outside the room. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was doing that a lot lately; hopefully the last one would be when Tim is safely behind bars. Maybe he can meet up with his friend Jon and they can just have the greatest time together. Let's see how Tim likes being locked up while I walked free.

I put on the shoes that I tripped over to prevent it from happening again and went to my dresser for a bag. Didn't find one there, either. Next I looked under the bed, where I found a black duffel bag. This would work. I put the binder and journal in the bottom and zipped it shut.

The door opening made me jump. Tim walked into the room and shut the door behind him. _Think to knock, asshole? _Why the hell didn't I lock the door?

"Is everything alright?" Tim asked as he came into the room further. "I heard a noise."

_Fuck. _"Yeah, just fell off the bed." My voice was even enough; it was a good thing he couldn't hear my frantically beating heart, or he would know something was up. Let's see if I could con the con artist.

His eyes went to the bag on the bed. "What are you doing?"

"Just getting a bigger bag. I'm taking a few things with me from home." I took the bag I brought from the asylum and unzipped it. That's all the farther I went; I didn't want to risk him catching a glimpse of what I stole.

He stayed silent as he stared at the black duffel bag. "It's a little early to be packing," he said slowly. "Why don't you get some rest?"

Did the corner of his mouth twitch when he said that? Fucking bastard.

"Can't sleep lately," I bit angrily. "'Lately' being about three years."

He grinned. I mentally punched him in the face. "Ah, yes. But that wasn't my fault, now was it? I do remember telling you that the basement was forbidden, but you didn't listen."

I was pissed beyond belief. So now this was all _my _fault? I'm scarred for life and all of the blame sits on _my _shoulders? I couldn't _wait _to put him in prison.

"You didn't answer Mom when she called you up for dinner," I said through my teeth. "I was coming to get you so you could come eat with your family. Apparently, there was something more important you had to do."

"I already told you that night why I-"

"Yeah, you told me why you slaughter innocent people. Was that crap you said supposed to make any moral _sense_?"

"You don't understand-"

"I understand _plenty_."

He took a deep breath as I stared him down. He didn't meet my eyes. "You're just a child," he finally said lowly. "You can't understand."

"If I remember correctly," I argued in the same dangerous tone, "yesterday was my eighteenth birthday. I'm not a child anymore."

He chuckled dryly. "Age doesn't make a man, Jarrett."

"Like blood doesn't make you my father?" I unzipped the duffel bag roughly, but was careful that I angled it so he couldn't see his possessions inside. I tipped the other bag so the contents of it fell over the binder and book and re-zipped both of the bags.

Tim sighed. "Is there anything I can do to make this right?"

I gaped at him. He was _not _asking that _now._ "Don't you think that question is a little late? The phrase "better late than never" doesn't apply to everything."

"I know." He left the room without another word or glance. He had said those last two words as a simple fact. There was no regret in his voice when he had said it. I didn't even know why he had asked for peace between us if it would end up with me sitting by while he killed people.

That wasn't gonna happen. I was calling the shots now.

I stashed my bag under my bed and left my bedroom. I was still tired, but I knew that I couldn't sleep. The dreams I wished for would probably twist into nightmares until I was completely at peace with the situation.

A shower would keep me alert, and I felt grimy, so a shower I would get. After a towel was around my waist, I brushed my teeth and checked my hair. My roots weren't blonde yet, but I would probably have to reapply the dye in about a week to cover my natural color.

I went back to my room with my toothbrush and put on a fresh pair of jeans, socks and shoes. My eyes started to drift closed again, so I cranked the window open and stuck my head out into the early morning September breeze. It woke me up a bit and felt refreshing on my face and bare chest.

I stuffed the toothbrush into my bag that was still under the bed. Then, grabbed a T-shirt from my closet and was about to put it on when my door opened slowly. Tim's head appeared, and then the rest of his body followed. His eyes locked with mine, and I saw the danger lurking in them. "I believe you have something of mine. You're more clever than I gave you credit for."

The breeze coming from the open window intensified the chill that ran down my spine. I could feel cold, nervous sweat beads forming between my shoulder blades. I'm sure my face went pale.

"What would that be?" I sounded just as calm as I felt. I was done fooling him.

"No more games, Jarrett." He took a step closer. I would have taken a step back if I could have made my legs move. "Give them back to me. You don't want to take those."

Was he trying to control my mind or something? Was he trying to rationalize, make me see things his way? I was done fooling him, and he was done fooling everyone.

"I think you're the one playing games here," I replied.

His eyes moved from me to the bed and back as quickly as a lightening flash. He was looking for the bag. If I waited, he would eventually find it. I had to escape.

Tim was standing half a foot in front of the door. I would never be able to grab the bag, shove past him, and get out of the house.

Another freezing wind blew in through the window. With it came my only option. I would have to jump out the window.

I began calculating the leap in my head. A tree's branch was two feet out the window, but it wasn't sturdy or thick. I would have to get past the thin twigs and hang on to the thicker ones, but would those twigs keep me from reaching safer branches? It was either getting to the tree or a straight fall. I had fallen out of my window once trying to jump to that tree, and I ended up breaking my arm. I couldn't afford that mistake now.

Tim was inching closer, his eyes darting around for the bag. His eyes lingered a second longer on the dresser than they probably should have. I would have to work my newly-found conning skills to pull this off.

I let my eyes widen by only a fraction, but I think his eagle eyes caught it and confirmed his suspicions. My eyes stayed on him, but twitched to the dresser.

He lunged for the drawer a split second after I faked. He wrenched the top drawer open, found nothing of use, and went to the second. Now was my chance.

I snatched the duffel bag from under the bed and jumped up onto the window ledge. _Now or never, Jarrett. _Tim dove for me, but I leaped from the ledge like a cat, and he grabbed at empty air.

The bag was clenched in my fist, so I would have to cling to a stable branch with one hand. Shit. I should have taken the time to sling the bag onto my arm.

Instinct had me shove at a branch that had twigs blocking my shot with the fist that held the bag. My arm wrapped around a tree limb that only bent slightly under my weight. The branch I shoved out of my way sprang back in place as I let it go to get a better hold on what was keeping me from the ground.

I slid the bag onto my arm before looking back at the window. Tim was staring out at me, shocked that I had gone to the extreme and escaped with his darkest secret. Then he was gone. Shit, he would come after me.

Hell, I wasn't going to jump from here, I was still at least twenty feet up. So I put one hand in front of the others as I climbed down the branch. When my feet hit a thicker one, I used the first for support and walked along the second to the base of the tree.

I held onto the trunk and sat on the thicker branch to step down onto another one. I did that another time before jumping the rest of the way. I landed on my feet, but rolled to the ground to ease the impact.

The front door burst open, and Tim ran out of the house fuming. Yeah, I could outrun him. Then he went into the garage. I was fairly certain I would not be able to outrun a fucking car, and I wouldn't get rid of the possibility that he would run me over to get the journal and binder back.

I ran like hell without further hesitation down the street. I could hear the garage door opening over the pounding in my ears. Tires squealed behind me.

By the end of the street, I could tell the I was out of shape. You never did get much exercise in the asylum. My muscles were pretty much gone, and my throat was burning.

I had to find a place to hide. I turned the corner and then cut through people's yards, which took me back in the direction I had come. Hopefully, he didn't anticipate that move. Tim's car zoomed down the street just as I ducked behind a bush.

When the sound of the car disappeared, I let out a loud breath and collapsed onto the ground. I hugged the bag to my side with one arm and sucked in cool breaths to calm the fire in my throat. I was about to fall asleep when I heard voices from inside the house that I was behind.

"Dude, is someone in your yard?" I heard someone ask sleepily.

"Well, shit, there is," another voice said. "Who the hell went and passed out on my fucking lawn? If I had a damn gun, I swear, I'd put a bullet in the dumbass."

Okay, that was a little rude. And familiar.

"That's not very nice, Austin," I called out.

A screen door opened and slammed shut. Footsteps stomped their way over to where I was spread out. A shoe nudged my side.

"Well if it isn't my gay stalker," Austin joked. "Come on, get up."

"No," I groaned. "I'm tired."

"Well what the fuck do you think I am? It's fucking six in the morning! Hey, ya know who the hell was speeding down the road?"

I opened my eyes. His sandy blonde hair got in his face, which he pushed away impatiently. He looked pissed, as always.

I lifted my arm. "Help me up."

Austin sighed and grasped my forearm. He yanked, and I came up off the ground. "What's in the bag? And where the hell is your shirt?"

"I guess I'll explain in there," I said. "Who's all here?"

"Carter and Sam spent the night," he replied as we walked into the house. "Hey," Austin yelled, "get your asses in here!" I slumped down at his table.

Sam groaned as he came into the kitchen. His brown hair was messy, which didn't get better when he ran a hand through it. "I thought you were in jail, man," he said groggily when he saw me.

"Not Jarrett," Austin said. "He went completely batshit, remember?"

"Did you say Jarrett?" I heard Carter ask from the other room. When he came in, he went over to me and messed up my hair. "What did you do, man, break out of the loony bin?"

"It's a long story that involved me jumping out of a window and into a tree," was all I answered with.

"Explains why your leg is bleeding," Sam said.

I looked down and saw a blood stain around the hole in my knee. "Damn," I muttered.

"So what's in the bag?" Austin asked again.

"Some of my shit and how I'm staying out of the asylum." I unzipped the bag and took the journal out. "I guess I can show you; everyone will know soon enough. First entry."

Austin opened the journal, and Sam and Carter read over his shoulders. Their eyes widened and they swore in surprise every now and then. When they were done, Austin threw the book on the table. "Your dad is a fucking psycho!"

"I know."

"So you found this out… three years ago?"

"Yeah, but I found that last night," I said as I put the journal back in the bag. "Tim's out there trying to find me right now so I don't turn him in."

"This is messed up," Carter said. "What are you gonna do?"

"_You_ are gonna give me a ride to the police station, and I'm gonna have a chat with the police. Then I'll be a free man."

**Longest chapter yet, ladies and gents. Let me know whatcha think.**

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	27. Alibi

**Huh, this story is getting pretty long… it makes me happy. But I'll remind you people that I might change my posting schedule because of my school starting Monday. We'll see how it goes down.**

Chapter 27: Alibi

APOV

At nine on Thursday, I hopped in the shower and got ready for my therapy session. I was ready to go ten minutes before ten, so I started my slow walk to Mrs. Stevens' room.

There were a few people scattered around the common room when I walked by. The local morning news was playing on the TV; the weather forecast called for light rain, I could hear from across the room.

I was about to walk right on by when the reporter announced "Breaking News." But that wasn't why I stopped.

"Breaking news from Bremerton," the reporter said crisply, "a local teen uncovers a mass murderer, who is also the boy's father."

Jarrett's picture was on the screen.

I skidded to a halt. It was Jarrett all right; his hair wasn't dyed in the picture. Accompanying it was a shot of Tim.

I went to an empty table up by the TV and sat down to hear the rest of the report. It was showing a different camera's shot on the screen: another reporter was standing in front of a nice house.

"I'm standing in front of the seemingly normal house of Timothy and Margaret Moore. Three years ago, their son, Jarrett Moore, was put into St. Claire's Mental Health Hospital for saying that his father has tortured and killed people in the basement of their home. At the time, there was no evidence of this being true, but just this morning he had went to the police station with proof of his earlier claim.

"There is footage of the filmed interrogation that the police have agreed to allow us show."

Jarrett was on the screen again. "I was home for the night because of my birthday. I decided that I had to do something, because I mean, my _family _lived with him. I have sisters that are only _five years old._ So I went into the basement and looked around, and I found a safe in the wall behind a picture on the wall. I also found a journal he kept the helped me figure out the combination."

"Do you know where your father is now?" Someone off-camera asked.

"If I did, I would have told you already. As far as I know, he's out there looking for me."

"So he knows that you have evidence of his crimes?"

"Yeah. I actually ended up jumping out of my window with it because he was trying to get it back, but now there's nothing he can do." Jarrett smiled at the thought.

The reporter came back onto the screen. "The police are out searching for Timothy Moore and have alerted neighboring communities to be on the lookout. Meanwhile, the evidence is being looked through, and among it is a list of who has been killed and where they are buried. There is a count of two-hundred and six murders in the past nine years, with victims all around Washington."

The desk reporter came back on screen. "Many victims have been reported missing, and families are being contacted now." She warned people to look out for Tim and gave a description of his car. Then they moved on with another story.

_Whoa. _It was all making sense now: Jarrett's bitterness towards his father, how he _couldn't_ talk about it, not _wouldn't. _I was trying to figure it out, but I never would have guessed _that. _

I was late for my therapy session. After a deep breath, I got up and left the common room. The door was open when I got to Mrs. Stevens office. I knocked twice before stepping inside the room.

"Sorry I'm late," I said as I sat down. Then I realized she was on the phone with someone. I covered my mouth apologetically.

"I have to go," she said into the phone, "I'm with a patient. We'll talk later." The person on the other end of the line said something. "Yes," Mrs. Stevens replied. "Goodbye," she said before hanging up.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly. "Didn't see you were on the phone."

"It's fine," she replied with a wave of her hand. She got up from behind her desk and came over to her leather chair to sit. "So, how has your week been?"

"Well, my mom's gonna start bringing my homework in," I reported. On Sunday, she came in with my school bag full of books and a folder of worksheets. She and Dad had wanted me to get comfortable in the asylum before making me keep up with my schooling. Now I had a pile of work to make up.

"That's good. School is important. Have you tried doing what I suggested about your visions?"

"Well, I only had one, and I kinda forgot about it then, but I'll keep trying." If only I could bring the visions to me somehow, then I could practice pushing them away. I laid in bed and concentrated, but nothing came. I even tried sitting in a meditation pose and going "Ommmmm," but it made me feel too stupid to focus, so I just laid back down again and tried.

"Alright," she said. Wasn't she the talker? She always just kinda said "Alright," and "Okay," but sometimes it didn't feel like she was really caring. Well, what did I expect her to do, ask twelve more questions in response to one? She didn't have to give lengthy replies to everything I said.

I mentioned the news report to Mrs. Stevens. She had heard about it because, being his therapist, she was told why he wouldn't be coming in. It made me wonder if he would be back at all. If not, hopefully he would visit sometime.

The hour passed by pretty quickly. I automatically went to the common room, but no one I knew was there. Now that I thought about it, I haven't seen Rachel in forever. Did she get to go home? But wouldn't she tell me if she did?

It was eleven now, and Jasper had therapy tomorrow, so he should be up by now. Did he see the news?

I decided that I would go find him. I wandered down the hall I've seen him come from and go into to get to his room. Small slots by each door held a slip of paper that had the occupant's name on it. Jasper's was about in the middle of the hall on the left.

I knocked on the door three times. "Jasper, you in there?" When I got no reply, I knocked two more times. "Jasper? It's Alice."

The pit of my stomach tingled with worry. Was he avoiding me again? No, I wouldn't let him. He had seemed fine this past week.

"I'm coming in." When that got no response, I turned the knob and opened the door.

The lights were off, and the light filtering through the small window was gray with storm clouds and the threat of rain. I was about to leave when I heard breathing.

"Jasper?" My eyes swept the room for him. I saw a flash of golden hair in the corner of the room between the wall and his bed. "Jazz?" I shut the door and slowly approached his hiding place.

He was hugging his knees to his chest. I noticed that his hands were shaking. I crept closer. His head, which had been rested on his knees, came up a little so I could see his eyes. They were rimmed with shadows. His face was pale. Jasper was a mess.

"What's wrong?" There was room for me in between him and his bed for me to squeeze into so I could sit beside him. He flinched away from me a little when I sat.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" I could hear how hurt my voice sounded. Maybe he would tell me if he knew I was upset.

His breaths were shaky and uneven. He peeked over at me from the corner of his eye. He looked scared.

"Please, you're scaring me." I could feel tears prickling in my eyes.

He hid again. "Please don't, Alice," he rasped. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Then tell me what's wrong," I begged. "_Please_."

He took in another quivering breath and lifted his head to stare at the wall we were facing. "Everything is wrong."

"You look awful," I said as I gently stroked his face. He didn't cringe away, but he closed his eyes. The corners of his mouth twitched. When he opened his eyes, though, they were dark.

"He wouldn't let me sleep," Jasper answered dismally. He winced at something only he could hear, probably.

"Jonathan."

Even thought I didn't say his name as a question, he nodded.

I hated seeing Jasper like this. He looked so afraid and worn and troubled. It made me furious to think that someone else was doing this to him, and I couldn't even help. I couldn't talk to Jonathan face-to-face and make him stop torturing Jasper. Not only did it make me mad, but it broke my heart.

"I hate him," I growled. "Why does he have to do this to you?"

"I don't know," he replied, "but I hate him, too."

"Did your therapist figure out _any _way to make him go away?" I asked hopefully.

Jasper shook his head. "Not yet. I know he's trying his best, though. It's probably not easy."

I sighed in frustration. "I just wish I could help you," I murmured. Tears stung my eyes again, and this time they flowed down my cheeks. I choked back a sob and turned my head away. Jasper had enough problems; I didn't want to add to them by crying.

I felt him move beside me, and then I felt his warm arm around me. He pulled me closer into his side, and his other arm came around to hug me. "Please don't cry," he begged. His voice cracked.

"You don't need this right now," I said through my tears. "I'm sorry." I kept my face turned away.

"Look at me," he said. "Please?"

I gave in and shifted so I was facing him. His eyes were sad and broken. They were starting to shine over with unshed tears. "It's not your fault," he whispered. His fingertips brushed against my face to wipe the tears away.

"I know, but I just hate seeing you like this and knowing that there's nothing I can do to make it stop…" I dissolved into sobs again.

He held me tighter and stroked my hair. "You're doing enough right now," he said soothingly.

"What good am I doing by crying like a baby when things are too hard?" He was probably just saying that so I would stop crying. I was too old to break down into tears at every problem.

"You're helping me by just being here. And you're not being a baby. You care." His voice broke on the last word, which made me look up at his face. Trails of tears were sliding down his face, too. It made my own tears flow thicker and faster.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm-"

"No, don't apologize," he said before I could finish. "I haven't cried since my parents' funeral," he admitted after a pause. After another thoughtful minute, he said, "It was nine years ago when they were killed."

He was going to tell me the story.

Rosalie had told me about that night once after about a year of us being friends. She said that she heard a loud crash from downstairs. Then her brother came in and told her to lock the door while he went downstairs. If anyone came to her door, even him, she would hide and leave the door shut. She didn't find out that her parents were killed until the police came.

Jasper's side of the story would have a very different chain of events, and I was going to hear it.

He continued with telling the story in a low murmur. "It was late at night, but my parents were still awake downstairs. A loud crash woke me up. We were fairly rich then, and I was worried that our house was being broken into by a thief.

"Rosalie came out of her room the same time I did. I told her to stay in her room and lock the door and not to open it for _anyone, _including me. If someone tried to get in, I told her to hide. When I heard her lock click, I went downstairs."

I stared at him with rapt attention and waited for him to continue.

"I snuck down the stairs; there was still a lot of noise going on. When I got down there, the living room had so much blood…" He gripped me tighter, as if me being there willed him to go on with the painful retelling. "He was standing over their bodies with a knife. My mother was still alive yet, looking right at me. 'Run,' I heard her say before she died.

"That made Jonathan notice that I was there. He came at me with the knife. I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom. I thought that he might leave if he couldn't find me, but then I heard him banging on Rosalie's door.

"I panicked; my parents were already dead – I didn't think I could bear it if he took out the rest of my family. I ran out of my room and threw something – I don't remember what, exactly – at him. It distracted him from Rosalie, but now _I_ had to get out.

"I ran back into my room and locked the door. He was strong, and the door wasn't holding well when he beat against it. The entrance to the attic was in my closet, and my dad hadn't fixed the hole that was in the floor. The hole was where the ceiling to my parents' closet was.

"The door gave out as I hit the floor of the closet, so he didn't hear my landing. I heard him tear things apart as he searched for me. He taunted as he went, saying things like that he was going to find me and kill me."

I flinched when he said "kill." I could never imagine someone wanting to kill him. Jasper paused to make sure I was okay. "Do you want me to go on?"

I nodded. If he was opening up to me, I wanted to hear it. I wanted him to know that he could trust me.

"He did find me, eventually, but I managed to get away. He was bigger than me, but that slowed him down. I knew that what I had to do was get to the cordless phone and call the police, but it was downstairs. I didn't think I could look at my parents. But, I thought of Rosalie and how she needed this, too. She was my little sister, and I had to protect her. So, I ran downstairs.

"He was chasing me down the stairs, so I didn't have time to stop. But I wanted to. It almost hurt to keep going while they were lying down there." He was staring off at the wall, staying emotionless. "But I kept going. I did slip once I got to the kitchen's wooden floor on their blood.

"I wanted to stay down for a second. I wanted him to kill me. I didn't know how I would go on without my parents there. But the second passed, and I got up.

"I ran to the kitchen. That fall was enough for Jonathan to catch up." Jasper rolled his shirt up to show his stomach. He pointed to a scar. A little gasp escaped my lips. "He managed to stab me in the stomach, but he let go of the knife. I didn't use it, but I just kept it from him. He probably knew that I wouldn't be able to use it," he added even more softly.

"I managed to get the phone and dial 911. He chased me outside, though, and I dropped it. I blacked out when I heard the sirens."

He was silent for another moment. He glanced down at me to see my reaction; I could feel that my eyes were wide, and I was hardly breathing. He smiled faintly before bringing his eyes back to the wall to settle blankly. "When I woke up, Jonathan was caught, Rosalie was safe, and my parents were gone."

I rested my head against his shoulder and stroked my fingertips against his hand. He smiled softly again and closed his eyes. "That feels nice," he muttered happily. When he opened his eyes again, the flicker of joy in them made my heart lift.

"I'm glad I told you," he said, his soft smile stretching. "It feels like a weight's been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm glad you know."

"And I'm glad that _you're _glad you want me to know," I replied with a grin. His happiness was contagious. He grinned down at me. Maybe my happiness was contagious, too.

He looked away suddenly to something by the door. His eyebrows twitched inward as if he was concentrating on something.

"Is it Jonathan?" I asked as I glanced towards the door. Why did he have to ruin everything? I didn't want him saying something to make Jasper push me away again.

Jasper didn't answer me. He stayed focused on Jonathan with a little crease in between his eyebrows. After a minute of silence, his face relaxed into a surprised expression. His eyes darted around the room, but he seemed to find nothing.

"What is it?" I asked curiously. A smile was forming on his face at something he did or didn't see.

"I think… I think I made him leave."

"What do you mean?"

"He just – left! I told him to go, and he was about to say something, but he disappeared!" The biggest grin I've ever seen spread across his face, and then he was laughing. "I think I've finally beat him."

**:D Oh, the next chapter will be JPOV of this with a little bit before Alice came and probably a little bit after. I feel like I should do the JPOV to clear some stuff up and explain why Jonathan went away, as far as Jazzy knows. Just thought I'd tell ya :D**

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	28. Every Day

**Yeah, this is JPOV of the last chapter with a little before and a little after Alice coming in.**

Chapter 28: Every Day

JPOV

Jonathan hadn't left me alone all night. I got no sleep, which didn't help my frayed nerves. I felt like I was on the brink of exploding.

He showed me flashbacks of that night. He judged me and tormented me with the past and his words. He described how he killed them, how he enjoyed it. He said that soon I would snap to his pressure and hurt people. I was so filled with rage and violent thoughts towards him that he played to his argument. He wouldn't stop talking and bringing me back to a past I wanted to leave behind…

I ended up huddled in a corner, hugging my knees into my chest. I knew it was pointless to try and hide from someone who was in my head, but I did it anyway. It seemed like there was nothing I could do, that Jonathan would haunt me forever; he would never tire while I got no rest; I would give in to insanity and let him win once and for all.

Shadows danced under the door. Someone knocked softly three times. "Jasper, you in there?"

Alice…

I didn't want her to see me like this, so broken and wary. I didn't answer her. Jonathan, who was lying on my bed, rolled his eyes. "You're so _pathetic_," he said with a smirk.

She knocked twice more. "Jasper? It's Alice."

"Like he didn't know that," Jonathan replied. "Seriously," he said to me, "you should have seen your face when you heard her."

I ignored him, which was easier to do when it was just his regular jibes instead of his pushing and the flashbacks. I couldn't make myself make Alice leave; I wanted to see her, but then again I didn't.

"I'm coming in," she said. She sounded worried. After a pause, the door opened. Light flooded into the room; I ducked my head and closed my eyes when it hurt my eyes. There was a minute of silence before she seemed to see me huddled in the corner.

"Jasper?" There was another second of quiet. "Jazz?" The changing light made my eyelids turn from light red to black. The door clicked shut, and slow footsteps could be heard coming closer.

I finally lifted my head so I could look at her. The lines of worry on her face deepened when she saw my face, and sorrow was in her eyes. I hated seeing her with troubles that weren't her own pushing her bright smile away.

"You're so corny, you know that?" Jonathan commented.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked. She sat in the available space between myself and the bed.

"Only a matter of time before she either gets sick of you and your problems or you hurt her…"

I flinched when she touched me. I could never hurt her, _ever. _Her warmth also made me realize how cold I was.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" So much pain and concern colored her voice that it made my chest tight. I heard my breaths come out shallower and more shaky. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye to tell her what was wrong with me, but seeing her small, innocent face made Jonathan fire off things to scare me about hurting her.

"Please," she urged in a broken whisper, "you're scaring me."

Were tears shining in her eyes? Jonathan said that I would hurt her eventually, but I was bringing her enough pain now with keeping secrets and making her afraid. I was making her _cry._

The anger at Jonathan that had built up inside was ebbing away with the onslaught of remorse and pain. It was like we shared an emotional link: when she saw me pained, she was just as hurt, and vice versa. When she was happy, my mood seemed to brighten.

I rested my head back against my knees. "Please don't, Alice, I don't want to hurt you." My voice mirrored hers.

"Then tell me what's wrong," she insisted. "_Please._"

I took in a breath to try and steady the whirlwind of feelings. When I lifted my head, I didn't look at her – I didn't think I could – and stared at the wall opposite us instead. When I tried to find the words to start with, something to reassure her, the only thing I could think of to say was, "Everything is wrong."

"You look awful." I felt her fingertips brush against my cheek. It was like sitting behind a wall with holes in it while the sun came streaming through: points of warm, comforting sunshine. I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling for a moment. Then my eyes opened, and I remembered that I had a lot to explain to her.

"He wouldn't let me sleep," I replied. My mind automatically went to the night without my permission. The memories of my parents that Jonathan brought up made me cringe.

"Jonathan." It was a statement; I didn't have to look over at her to know that it was an angry one. I nodded in confirmation.

"I hate him," she snarled furiously. "Why does he have to do this to you?"

"I don't know, but I hate him, too," I said.

"Did your therapist figure out _any _way to make him go away?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Not yet. I know he's trying his best, though," I added in his defense. "It's probably not easy."

She let out some of her frustration in a sigh. "I just wish I could help you," she muttered sadly. She began crying again, but harder than before, and she didn't try to stop the tears from falling. A sob stuck in her throat, and she turned her head away as if ashamed.

My eyes stung. She was suffering now because she couldn't help me. She cared that much. It wasn't that I would hurt her physically – I knew that I couldn't do that – but I was right about hurting her emotionally.

I put one arm around her shoulders and another around her waist to try and comfort her. "Please don't cry," I said with a wasted attempt at keeping my voice even.

She still didn't look at me as she said, "You don't need this right now. I'm sorry."

"Look at me." I wanted to see her face as I spoke to her, see if I did anything to make the pain lessen. "Please?"

She turned back to face me. Tears slid soundlessly down her face from her eyes that were so full of pain and distress. "It's not your fault," I whispered. I brushed her tears away with my hand just as gently as she had touched me earlier.

"I know," she said quickly, "but I just hate seeing you like this and knowing that there's nothing I can do to make it stop…" Her ramble was cut off with more sobs that she couldn't hold back.

I tightened my grip on her and stroked her glossy black hair. "You're doing enough right now."

"What good am I doing," she asked skeptically, "by crying like a baby when things are too hard?"

Didn't she remember what I had looked like when she first came in here? I had probably looked worse before then, too. Her just being in my arms, caring so much in ways I thought no one never would again, was like glue to put my broken heart and shattered soul back together piece by piece.

"You're helping me by just being here," I replied. "And you're not being a baby. You care." My voice broke with the last sentence, along with the dam that kept my own tears at bay. I felt a strange relief with crying; it was like my packed emotions were escaping through the action and leaving me with a lighter feeling.

Alice turned her head to look up at me. Her tears started up again. "I didn't mean to make you cry, I'm-"

"No, don't apologize," I cut in. I paused before confessing, "I haven't cried since my parents' funeral."

I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know what had happened that night. I trusted her more than anyone, I realized. She would understand, but only if I told her all I could. "It was nine years ago when they were killed," I began.

Realization dawned on her face at my opening line. She said nothing and waited in a patient silence for me to tell her. And I did. I told her everything about that night. When I asked her once if she wanted me to go on after she flinched, she just nodded and waited again for me to go on.

When I was done, Alice rested her head against my shoulder and let her fingers brush along the back of the hand that was around her waist. Her touch made me relax and close my eyes to enjoy it like before. "That feels nice," I said with a faint smile. When I opened my eyes again and gazed down at her, happiness was back in her eyes.

"I'm glad I told you," I said, letting my small smile widen. "It feels like a weight's been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm glad you know."

"And I'm glad," she replied cheerfully, "that _you're _glad you want me to know." She grinned up at me, and I returned it.

I saw something move over by the door. When I looked toward it, I was only slightly surprised that Jonathan had stayed. He was leaning up against the wall beside the door, staring at me. "Bad move," he said. "You shouldn't have told her."

"_That's not your choice," _I countered in my head. _"I'm happy that I told her."_

"She'll use it against you somehow," he argued.

"_No she won't. I trust her."_

"Is it Jonathan?" Alice asked. I didn't answer her so I could stay focused on him.

"You shouldn't trust her."

"_Again, it's not your choice."_

"But I know things, much more than you know."

"_Not about this. Alice is…" _I couldn't find a specific word to describe her. _"She's Alice. You don't know her like I do. You don't see her the way I do."_

"Love causes bad judgment."

"_Just… just leave!"_

He was about to say something, but before he could, he disappeared. Just up and vanished into thin air. I felt my face change into an expression of surprise. Was this a trick? I glanced around the room for him, but he wasn't anywhere to be found.

"What is it?" Alice asked curiously.

"I think… I think I made him leave." Happiness grew inside of my chest at the thought. Had I really beat him? He wouldn't have left in silence, or so suddenly.

"What do you mean?" she asked in confusion.

"He just – left! I told him to go, and he was about to say something, but he disappeared!" I grin spread across my face, the happiness leaking out. Laughter bubbled up and came out of my mouth. "I think I've finally beat him."

A smile turned into a grin on her face. "Really?" she said excitedly. "This could all be over?"

I let out a relieved sigh. "If not, it's a start."

Alice threw her arms around my waist. "Yes!" she squealed in delight.

I leaned my head back against the wall and let out another little laugh. My head felt lighter, as if Jonathan was something tangible in my brain that was removed. It was freeing.

My eyes slipped closed. The sleepless night crept up on me in waves of exhaustion.

"You must be tired," Alice said beside me. "I'll go so you can sleep."

"No," I replied quickly. My eyes came open again with some effort to look at her. "Don't go."

"I don't want to keep you up," she insisted. "You've been through a lot. Come on." She stood up in front of me, which made me shiver with the sudden lack of warmth. I groaned in protest.

"Get up," she commanded. The last thing I wanted to try to do is get up. I groaned again.

Alice sighed and took one of my hands in both of hers. "Come _on_." She heaved, but I stayed mostly on the floor. "You _could_ help a _little,_" she said. She yanked again, and I made just enough effort to get me to stand upright.

I swayed unsteadily on my feet. Alice led me over to the bed before she let me fall over and collapse onto my back. I made sure there was room beside me. "Sit with me?"

She complied and sat up against the low headboard. "Now get some sleep," she ordered."

"Yes ma'am." My eyes drifted shut. A sudden tickle went across my arm as Alice drew patterns onto my skin absently. A faint smile twitched at my mouth.

Before sleep pulled me under, I opened my eyes again. "Alice?"

Her eyes, which were staring at but not seeing her finger tracing things on my arm, focused and went to my face. "Yes?"

"Thank you," I slurred. "I don't think I could have done any of this without you."

She smiled. "You're welcome, Jasper."

My eyes closed again. I focused on the feeling of her light touch as I slipped away. My sleep was finally peaceful.

**Now we all know what went down. All includes me, because sometimes I don't really know what's gonna happen until I type it all up.**

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	29. Collide

**I'm such a fail. A fail who's ditching updating days for the sake of quality. Sometimes, I'm just not in the writing mood, and pushing it to meet a deadline could make it suck more. So my updates are surprises now, I guess. So, surprise.**

Chapter 29: Collide

APOV

When I woke up, the first thing I acknowledged was how warm I was. When I opened my eyes, I saw that I had curled up into Jasper's side while I was asleep. I also noticed that the only light in the room was what came through the small window, which was moonlight.

I remembered before I had laid down; I watched Jasper as he slept. I felt weird doing it at first, like some kind of stalker, but his face just looked so peaceful and young that I stopped caring after a bit. Seeing him at complete peace was something I don't see often, but it was nice.

Watching him sleep had made me tired after awhile. I thought of leaving, but I didn't want him to think that I didn't want to be around him or anything. It was a stupid thing to think; he would know that I had left to let him sleep, but I still stayed by his side. I couldn't fight the fatigue, so I laid down beside him to get a nap. I guess I sort of gravitated to the warmth while we slept.

The only movement I made was tilting my head up so I could see his face. It was still relaxed with the calming release of sleep. The corners of my lips twitched upward. He looked freed from the burden of reality that was placed on his shoulders without his control_. It feels like a weight's been lifted off of my shoulders, _Jasper had said.

Jasper's eyelids twitched, and he started to wake up. Crap, did I wake him up? He had said that he had gotten no sleep the night before, and I wanted him to catch up.

He let out a small groan and looked down at me. I was suddenly nervous about what he would think. Would he think that I was some kind of obsessed stalker or something? That could make things awkward.

To my relief, he smiled sleepily. "Hey," he said.

"Hi," I replied.

"How long have you been up?" he asked.

"Only a minute. I would have moved," I added hastily, "but I didn't want to wake you."

He nodded his head and started to prop himself onto his elbows. I sat up so he could do so. He balanced on one elbow to run his other hand through his hair. "So what now?"

As if to answer his question, my stomach growled loudly. "It's settled, then," Jasper said. He got up off of the bed and waited for me to do the same.

"Can I use the restroom before we go?" I asked. My makeup was probably smeared all over my face, and my hair couldn't look any better. He nodded and leaned up against the wall beside the bathroom door. I said my thanks and went inside.

The only thing different about Jasper's bathroom from mine was that his stuff was put away instead of all over the small countertop around the sink. I was right about how I looked: my face was streaked with black and my once-neat hair now went out in all different directions. It was far from attractive, I had to say.

I sighed and went to work. I splashed my face with water and then cleaned off all of the makeup until my skin was pale and smooth again. I flattened and brushed through my hair the best I could with my hands. I ruffled it up a bit and decided to try a messy look for now. I didn't want to be rude and keep Jasper waiting. He still might have to use the bathroom.

When I came out of the bathroom, Jasper looked up from the floor to me. I heard him chuckle a little. "Don't laugh at me!" I whined half-heartedly.

"I'm wasn't," he said.

"Yes you were!"

"Well then not for the reason you think."

"And what would that be?"

He stood up straighter to spin on his heel and walk over to the door with a mysterious smirk. I jogged to keep up with his long strides. "You didn't answer me."

"I know." He grinned at my waiting expression, but then just stared down the hall ahead of us. There were no lights on, but light that came in from the common room windows up ahead lit our way.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Not planning on it. I'll make you wonder."

"That's not fair!" My voice seemed extra loud with no one else in the halls. "Jazz," I said in a whisper, "do you think we're allowed out here now?"

"It's about two forty-five in the morning, so probably not," he answered, taking on my hushed tone.

"Well, what kind of teenagers would we be if we didn't break a rule or two?" I asked jokingly. He rolled his eyes with a smile.

When we got to the cafeteria door, we found it locked. Oh. I hadn't even thought about the security precautions they would surely take.

"Crap, should have known it was locked," I muttered. "Guess we'll have to wait until morning."

"So, what now?" Jasper asked.

"I would say go to bed, but I'm really not tired…"

He gave it a thought. "Let's just go back to my room," he decided. I nodded in agreement and walked by his side back down the hallway. I didn't start conversation, and neither did he. I didn't because I was paranoid of someone hearing us and that we would get in trouble. That's probably what lines he was thinking along, too. Maybe he just had nothing to say at the moment. Maybe both caused his silence.

We both sat on Jasper's bed when we got to it. When we were both leaned up against the headboard, we lapsed into one of the calm and thoughtful silent moments we occasionally have.

"How did you do it, Jazz?" I found myself asking softly.

"Do what?"

"Keep on going. Get over it and go on with your life."

He put his arm around my shoulder, and I felt my hair tickle my face as he played with it. I looked up at his face to make sure that I didn't upset him; his eyes were far away, lost in the land of his thoughts as he pondered my question. My head found his shoulder as he thought it over, and he alternated from stroking my hair and twirling the strands around his fingers.

Finally, he seemed to find an answer. "Over the years," he began slowly as he sorted his words out, "I've been influenced by different foster parents. The first three, Rose and I only stayed at for a month each before we got split up. I've been with Henry for about two years, and in between there's been four more foster homes. I seemed to get stuck with the people that scammed their way into the system with the role of loving and caring parents only to act cruelly when I was left with them.

"They've all influenced me in a way, or tried to. They told me their outlooks on certain aspects on life. They were all relatively the same, being such similar people. They've imprinted the idea on me to be strict when it comes to trusting people, with what they said to me and how they acted. I've seen most – if not all – of them in their fake, pleasant mode and seen all but too much of… when they weren't. They had me so easily fooled in the beginning, so I stopped trusting foster parents all together."

Jasper channeled no emotions when he told me of his past life. Maybe there were no real emotions to reach into. "Henry did change my thoughts about that. He was my one lucky break in all those years. But I've gotten a bit off of the question you asked." A little spark of light came back into his eyes as he pulled out of the recollections, but it faded as he went into another one. "I don't really know how I kept going. I've thought about - ending it - several times, but they were just thoughts – possibilities. I decided, after one of those possibilities ran through my mind, that I felt like I owed it to my parents to live. I know that they did all they could to keep us safe that night, and that they would do it again.

"As for getting over it, that's one thing that I wasn't influenced on. This thought is entirely my own." His voice dropped to a gentle tone, and his voice was colored with a slight sadness. "You don't really just get over someone's death, or something traumatizing like that. You just learn to look past it and live around what happened. It's a scar on your heart. The scar heals, the pain lessens, but when you really look at the injury, flashbacks to the pain come back to you, and the pain of the scar returns."

I absorbed Jasper's words and the reasoning behind them. It made sense, what he said. It also gave me a sense of relief that he still had a mind of his own and his own opinions instead of other people taking it over and overriding his thoughts with their own. I wouldn't know what good a person would be without at least their own identity through their thoughts and opinions.

"It stays apart of you," I added in. "Fading enough to bear, but always apart of you."

He nodded. "Exactly."

I knew what he was talking about – the emotional pain and scars it left – but I didn't _know._ I have never had a loss to bear, no real emotional trauma that I had to live around. My grandparents from my father's side both died before I had been born, and Mom's parents were younger, so they would live on for some time yet. I had never experienced the pain of a loved one's death. I was also raised happily and got everything I wanted. I was blessed with a life of perfection.

"Jazz?" I asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"Why have so many bad things happened to you and nothing bad has happened to me? Do you think karma is a real thing, and that the universe will settle the score?"

He paused. I didn't look at him this time. "I hope not," he replied quietly. "And I don't know if karma is real… I had considered it; I was a well-raised child with successful parents and I got what I wanted, up until Jonathan came. But it seemed like there was an overbalance of bad against the good after that." His hand went from twirling my hair to stroking it. "Maybe you're the good balance that was bound to come to me."

I had to look up at him then. His oceanic blue eyes had taken on some new intensity that I've never seen in anyone else's eyes before. I wanted to know what he was thinking so I could place the gaze to the strong emotion.

Our eyes stayed locked for an immeasurable amount of time. I don't know what he saw in mine, but it must have been something to keep his eyes from straying.

His warm breath tickled my chin when he exhaled, and I realized that we were fairly close. Just inches away…

Wait, from what? I didn't think of him that way, did I? No. Of course not.

…But what was stopping me from it, thinking of him that way?

He _was _handsome. It wasn't like I had just noticed the fact, but it was just now registering with my wandering thoughts. His hair made a halo of golden curls around his face. He had a strong jaw line and straight nose, with the most beautiful blue eyes. I would never have been able to miss his beauty.

He was different from anyone else I've dated in the past. I've had no serious relationships with those boys, either. They were nice enough, but none of them really… stuck. Yeah, they were nice, but they _were _teenage boys, after all. Eventually, we didn't share the same interests, or I would realize how immature he was, and I've even had to find out the hard way about one of them cheating. But Jasper… we just seemed to click. He's been through so much to make him mature and grow up too fast, but still had a sense of humor. He seemed to be able to read me and know my every emotion like we had known each other our entire lives. The intense look in his eyes told me that he was too loyal to cheat and that if he cared about someone, he would never let any harm come to them if he could help it.

We stared at each other for what felt like forever, the powerful emotion reflected in his eyes never wavering. I hoped my new thoughts weren't doing the same. What if he was just looking for a friend to confide in? He'd been through a lot, and maybe he didn't want what I did right now. But that deep look in his eyes…

A pounding on the door made us both jump. The door opened, and an annoyed-looking worker came in. "You," he barked to me, "out. It's after hours."

I scrambled up from the bed. "S-sorry," I stammered to the man. Before going, I turned back to Jasper. "Bye."

"_Out," _the man commanded. I skittered out the door before Jasper could respond, and the man came with me, shutting the door behind him with a slam that must have woken someone. I didn't really think he cared all that much.

"_Teen_agers," he muttered irritably to himself as he grabbed my upper arm. I bit back a pained, startled cry and let him drag me back to my room. He seemed to know who I was and where to go, because he threw open my door with barely a glance at the name plate beside it and shoved me in. "I don't want to see you out of your room after hours again," the man said angrily before slamming the door shut.

I sighed and laid down on my back in my bed, even though I was far from tired. I was still wondering how that guy knew I was in Jasper's room. We weren't that loud, were we?

Then I remembered something Jarrett said, something about seeing cameras in the rooms. I mean, they wouldn't just let teenagers run rampant without their knowledge, now would they? They would also need cameras for security reasons, I guess. But where were they?

Not wanting to sit still anymore, I got up from the bed to investigate. They must have some good funding to get cameras that weren't obviously seen. I looked up at the top of the walls and saw nothing.

Maybe a light would help me out on this. I flipped the light switch and searched the walls again, spinning in a slow circle to see. It was on the ceiling near the bathroom door that I saw a black speck.

I stepped closer to where the speck was. It's surface was slightly reflective, but nothing too noticeable. It was a little smaller than a quarter, if I had to guess. I smiled and waved at the camera before turning the lights back off and returning to my bed.

I hoped that the cameras were only video and not audio; I didn't want some people secretly listening to Jasper's story through a camera. He trusted _me _with it, and me only. What else could they hear in the future if they could hear into our rooms? What secrets would they know?

If they, in fact, _could_ hear, would they let our therapists see the footage? Well, at least if it would be useful to them? What did Mrs. Stevens know about me that I haven't told her? I didn't want to ask because she would probably just lie to me and I didn't know if I was supposed to know about the cameras. Maybe it was some make-them-feel-safe-and-not-totally-spied-on feel they were trying to give patients. I could understand that; I had the nagging feeling of being watched now that I knew about the cameras.

_Stop being so paranoid, _I told myself. _They're just there to make sure no one nearly dies or something like that. _The feeling still wouldn't leave me.

I burrowed under the covers and closed my eyes. The darkness helped me get to sleep. Familiar blue eyes were in my dreams.

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**Oh yeah… I found out my mom's lawyer's name is Tim o_O Seriously didn't know that until I wrote it. Now I'm AFRAID…**


	30. What You Do to Me

Chapter 30: What You Do to Me

JPOV

I couldn't sleep for an hour after Alice left. I just laid on my bed in the dark in a calm bliss that I couldn't quite describe. It was like a amalgam of how it felt to tell her, the unexplainable happiness of her waking up in my arms, and then… whatever it was that stirred inside of me before she left. _That _was really the part I couldn't explain.

I tried to sort it all out in that hour of consciousness. I've never been so confused about my emotions before that moment. Each feeling that I had could be pinpointed: happiness, sadness, anger, frustration… but what was _this_? The only thing that I could figure out was a sort of muddled elation that squirmed through my chest and stomach and clouded my head too much to make any more sense of it.

Alice's eyes held so much of something that was as much of a mystery as what I was feeling. I could usually tell what her emotions were by reading them from her face as if they were my own, or if we really _did _have some kind of empathy link.

Was that what I was feeling – what _she_ was feeling? That would be a helpful clue if I knew what the feeling _was. _

Confusion and frustration – something that was actually familiar and easy to understand, much to my relief – muddled my thoughts too much for me to think about it much more. The complicated elation melted into agitation and questions.

The thought of Jonathan prickled in my mind. I froze at the sudden turn and stopped breathing. Nothing could be heard. When I looked around, the room was still empty, with the only person occupying it myself. My breath came out in an alleviated gust.

I dared to think on it more. Jonathan would make some joke about having girl problems if he were here. He thought he knew everything about it, but he just… didn't. He knew nothing about me or the people I was friends with.

But he was in my head… he could see my thoughts and read my emotions because he was a figment of some part of my brain. He was linked into everything.

When I thought of that, the answer was so blaringly obvious that I felt so stupid for missing it. I _liked _Alice.

How could I not have come to that conclusion? I just wanted to prove Jonathan wrong about everything so much that I didn't really look at it. When I said that there was no way Alice was anything like my girlfriend, it was just so I could say that he was wrong about it. He was stating a fact, but it was covered by the taunt that made me deny it.

So what was it that I saw in Alice's eyes that she was feeling? Was my earlier theory about the empathy link correct, at least under these circumstances? If it was, that meant that she felt the same way about me as I did for her…

Okay, so I figured out _what _the feelings were, but now the question was what do I do about them? I could be wrong about her feeling the same way, after all. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship we had with the awkwardness of unreturned feelings. But I felt like I had to tell her, and not doing so would be unfair to her. One question, two possible answers for it. This was something I had to really think about; it wasn't something simple or something I could take back once it was done.

I would have to tell her how I felt eventually. Unless it was just a crush and I would get over it in a few weeks… The feeling panged in my chest with a sorrow at the thought as if telling me that this just being a crush was the wrong assumption. So, yes, I would tell her sometime. _When_ I would tell her was another matter. Time would answer that. I would get time to see how these feelings develop and to fill in the gaping blank spots only filled with question marks.

I fell asleep thinking over the possibilities and outcomes that could happen if I told her and if I waited. In my head, telling her turned out nicely.

I had a dream that night. An actual _dream, _not a nightmare. I wasn't totally surprised when Alice was in it.

I was standing in the middle of a clearing, with a ring of trees serving as a border. The moon cast a silvery light that made it all the more dream-like. I was standing at one side of the clearing, and Alice at the other. She was wearing a white dress that, accompanied with the moonlight, made her skin a lovely cream color. Her green eyes shone bright with her usual excitement and life. A slight breeze ruffled her hair.

Gravity seemed to be pulling me towards her. I took a step, and then another, without any control on my mind's part. She smiled at my approach and looked up at me through her eyelashes flirtatiously. It made my pace quicken. I stopped when I was directly in front of her, and my body, not my mind, took over again. My hand came up to brush my fingertips lightly across her rosy cheek, and the smile turned into a grin.

She stepped closer – so close that I could feel her delicious warmth. It was like the daytime sun was inside of her, sparkling through her eyes, radiating out through her into me. She closed her eyes, and I did the same to bask in the pleasant warmth she gave off. My eyes came open again after a blissful moment, and I traced my fingers down her cheek, down her neck, down her arm. When my hand reached hers, she flipped her hand so she was holding mine. Another burst of sunny warmth surged into me, bringing a smile to my face.

She stepped even closer – so close that our bodies were lightly pressed against each other. Her head tilted up to stare me straight in the eyes with the same look as before. She stood on her tip toes and leaned in. I bent down and did the same. I was about to close the gap when she giggled, took her hand back, and skipped towards the trees I had come from.

Incredulous, I spun around. The flirtatious grin was back. She brought her hand up and curled her index finger inward. _Come and get me. _Then, she darted into the trees.

The gravitational pull was stronger and made me break into a run after her. I dodged trees skillfully and chased the flutter of white up ahead. Her laughter rang out into the night ahead, and it pushed me faster.

Suddenly, the white disappeared. I skidded to a stop and turned in a confused search. "Alice?" I called. I went forward and looked around me. The night seemed eerie without Alice there. "Ali-"

My second call was cut off by a fall. Instead of meeting the forest floor, wind blew up as I fell into a dark pit. I couldn't see the hole's opening from above or what was down below. Terror gripped my insides and squeezed. Then, I slammed into the deep earth with no sound from the impact.

There was still no light to guide me. I stood up and waited for my eyes to adjust, but they stayed unseeing in the darkness. There was complete silence in the hole I had fallen into.

I took a blind step forward; it made no noise against the ground, which took me aback. Still, I kept walking in hesitant steps in the pitch black, wary of something unknown lurking within.

As I went on, something twitched in the corner of my eye. When I looked closer, there was nothing there. I kept going, but was stopped again by another peripheral glance at something. The fist of fear gave another squeeze inside of me. When I turned back to look forward, the shadows seemed to move and squirm: shadows within shadows. I froze in my place.

A shadow whipped by soundlessly. It seemed to push me back, and I stumbled. When I regained my balance, another shadowy creature lashed out and made me do a clumsy half-turn. They all began attacking when I got my footing back, making me stumble and trip over myself. I hit the ground with no thump and tried to swat the creatures away, but they blew past in confusing swarms.

I laid on the cold earth floor with my eyes closed and thought about just giving up. I wanted them to attack, hoping that they would do so and then eventually leave. They kept on with the bombardment relentlessly. The air became cold, and I shivered in the chill.

I was about to lose all hope when the cold gradually warmed to a pleasant temperature. Footsteps echoed. My eyelids were stained light red with light. I opened my eyes to see Alice standing there. The shadows were gone, chased away by the glow that came from her. Her footsteps still echoed as she came towards where I sat up on the ground. When she was in front of me, she smiled a dazzling smile that made her glow shine brighter.

She held a hand out to me. I took it and hoisted myself off of the ground with her help. She kept a hold on my hand and tugged me along with her. She seemed to know her way around the strange pit.

We were suddenly back at the clearing. I stared around in amazement, then met her eyes for some answer. She just smiled a dazzling smile.

Over the tree line in front of us, the sky began to lighten to an indigo, and the twinkling stars began to fade. Alice turned to me and walked into my chest. I put my arms around her small frame and absorbed her warmth. I closed my eyes and stood under the rising sun with Alice in my arms.

I groaned and opened my eyes. I was laying on the floor next to my bed, tangled in my sheets. I groaned again and rubbed my hand over my face up through my hair. I worked through the fog of sleep to try and remember a dream…

Nothing came to mind when I thought about it. With a sigh, I gave up for now and stood up from the floor. As I made my bed, I remembered that I had a therapy session at ten. It was nine thirty; I still had time to get a shower and get dressed on time. I finished making the bed before padding to the bathroom. I started the water, undressed, and stepped into the hot spray.

When I finished, I quickly pulled on clean clothes and glanced at the clock. I had ten minutes left yet, so I sat down on the bed and tried to remember my dream again. It nagged at the back of my mind, so close yet so far away. After five minutes of no luck, I stood up with a sigh and left the room.

The door was open to Dr. Hetzer's room when I got there. I knocked on it twice to get his attention from the papers at his desk where he sat before entering. He gave his usual greeting of a smile and moved from the seat at his desk to his leather chair. When we were both seated, he started. "So, how was your week? Have you been getting along well?"

His question made me remember Jonathan's lacking presence. "Well, I think… I think that Jonathan's gone."

Dr. Hetzer leaned forward from his casual posture. "Gone?" He grabbed his notepad and pen from the end table beside his chair. "Tell me as much as you remember."

His face held interest in my retelling while his hand flew across the page he wrote on. I told him about the sleepless night before, Alice coming in, how I told her how this all came to be, and my possible win against Jonathan.

When I was done, his hand relaxed on the notebook like it was tired – which it probably was, from all of that writing he'd done – and he leaned back again. "This is something… you figured this all out by yourself, too…"

"You helped," I assured him. "I don't think I could have beat him without your help."

"Thank you, but I don't think that's entirely true, to be honest," he protested. "You simply vented, and I listened. I'm sort of relieved, too – this really was a hard predicament…" He skimmed through his notes and pondered. "Well, I'll have to go over this with the others. Patients with enough improvement to think about leaving is gone over with other people for the final decision. What will most likely happen is that you'll have to stay for another two weeks or so to be sure that you really are cured. In that time, you would keep a journal instead of the therapy sessions, unless you request one."

I nodded along with his run-through. "Alright. When would you meet with these people?"

"We hold meetings every Sunday," he answered, "so it won't be a terribly long wait before I know for sure what will happen with you. I'll notify you as soon as that meeting's over."

"Thank you," I said. "For everything, I mean. You may not think so, but I really think that I needed your help."

He smiled, mostly for my benefit, probably, but I saw a genuine, underlying gratitude there as well. "I do appreciate that, really. Now, we have a few minutes left of this session – anything else you wanted to talk about?"

I thought of Alice. I was about to tell him all about how I felt about her, my hopes that she felt the same, but it didn't seem right. It felt a little too personal to be sharing with anyone else, even someone I trusted. "No," I answered after a pause to think over a final answer. "That's about it."

He seemed to notice the pause, but didn't mention it. "The you're free to go," he said. "I'll see you when I know what's going on with your situation."

"Thanks." I stood up from the sofa and waved in departure before heading out the door. I automatically turned to go to the common room, where Alice would probably be. My heart reacted to the thought of it by pounding faster against my chest, and my pace picked up without my brain's consent. I tried to calm myself down: _You've seen Alice how many times before this. Just act like you always do._

She was sitting on the couch in the common room when I got there. I took a deep breath as an attempt to calm myself before fully entering.

Alice smiled when she caught sight of me. "Hey!" she greeted cheerfully.

"Hey," I replied as naturally as I could as I sat beside her. When did my emotions become so unstable? Calm down…

"Get any more sleep?" Alice asked. The way she said it so indifferently made me doubt my theory. I was probably still just a friend to her. Or maybe she was just a better actress than I was? She didn't _look _any different, but did liking someone in a new way show in some obvious way? I was over thinking this whole thing, probably.

"Yeah, I got some more." She made me remember that dream I had last night. What _was _it?

"Something wrong?" she asked with a touch of concern. I realized that I had probably looked concentrated.

"No, just trying to remember something." I pushed it out of my mind for the moment. "What about you?"

"Yeah, I got a little more." Knowledge flickered behind her eyes, like she had remembered something about last night. Curiosity instantly flared up. What was she remembering? Had she already caught on to what I had felt? Was I giving too much away to fuel her thoughts of something she probably figured out? I tried to clamp down on my emotions. I would rather have her know when I decided to tell her than have her guess it and think something else of why I hadn't told her earlier.

_You're over thinking it again, _I scolded myself. I clamped down again.

I turned my attention to the TV for a subject change. "So what are we watching?"

She gasped. "Oh my gosh! I didn't tell you, did I?" I must have looked as confused as I felt, because she went on. "I was going to tell you yesterday; it's about Jarrett."

Anger flared up at his name. I didn't want to hear about Jarrett. Then I wondered why that was, and another recognition hit me, followed by stupidity at how obvious the conclusion was. I was _jealous_. Jonathan had me convinced that it was just pure, unjustified hatred that I had felt towards Jarrett. I was so stupid!

Alice went on telling me about Jarrett being on the news about his father being a murderer. When I reacted in disbelief to it, she explained to me that he had told her that he couldn't tell her why Jarrett had felt so bitter towards his father. When she was done, I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Wow," was all I could think of to say.

"I know. I wonder how he's taking it, and his family. It must have been a pretty big shock for them."

I nodded in agreement. "It did seem like they had absolutely no idea about it," I mused. "But who would suspect that about their loved ones if they didn't see it for themselves?"

We lapsed into silence. She was probably trying to imagine what Jarrett's situation would be like, but I just stared at her.

Alice. She was in my dream. My memory caught a glimpse of her in a white dress, with the light of the moon glinting off of her hair and making her look even more pale and delicate. There was more…

A small gasp caught my attention. Alice's eyes were strangely blank, void of all emotion and staring at nothing. "Alice?" She didn't answer me. "Alice," I repeated a bit louder. She still didn't respond. What was wrong with her?

A vision. That was the only thing I could think of to happen that would make her act like this. I was lost; did I try to get her out of it?

Before I could come up with an answer, she blinked a few times with focused eyes. "Oh…"

"Was that a vision?" I asked her. She nodded slowly and seemed to slowly come back to the present. When she was fully back, she started looking around the room.

"What are you looking for?"

"A girl," she said distractedly. She turned back to me, looking slightly disappointed when she found that the girl was not in the room.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked her. I gave her the option, just in case the vision involving the girl was confidential somehow. I wouldn't want to pry into the life of someone I didn't even know.

"Well, the girl I was looking for was in a therapist's office. She told her that she could have left the asylum before, but she's been having anger issues, so they can't let her out. The girl said that the therapist promised that she would get out, and she denied it, or said that those weren't her exact words, something like that. Then, the girl had a fit and started throwing stuff. Vision over."

"So you're going to tell her what you saw?"

"Yeah, I mean, it wouldn't really be fair to keep this from her, if it will help her get out of here." She shrugged and looked around the room again half-heartily, like she knew the girl she was looking for wasn't there, but searched anyway.

"I'll help you find her," my mouth said. Then my brain caught up with it. I would probably help her to the moon if she asked me to.

"You don't have to do that; there's name plates by the doors, so I'll be fine doing it by myself. Thanks, though." I nodded. "But I have to do it today, if I'm not too late already… I'll be right back, okay?" I nodded again, and with a smile, she shot off of the couch and went down the hallway.

I stared after her until she was lost from view. I sighed and leaned against the couch. _You're getting in deep, _I told myself. All I could think was that I had no regrets about it.

**Chapter 30: When things between Alice and Jasper FINALLY sorta happen. *Sigh***

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	31. The Middle

Chapter 31: The Middle

APOV

I stared at the door marked "Serena Steele" for a minute, suddenly unsure of what to say to this girl. She looked super scary in my vision: her hair was black with a blonde streak or two in her curls, wore dark eye makeup to make her eyes stand out like blue fire, and she had a piercing in her eyebrow, nose, and ears. It didn't calm me down any that her therapist spoke of Serena's anger issues and she ended up throwing a desk lamp at the wall at the end of the vision. I was afraid that she would kill me with her bare hands if I did one little thing to annoy her, like maybe talk about her personal life like I was about to do. Hopefully, she would hear me out.

Before knocking on the door, I would have to work out what I had to say. I went over the vision again in my head…

_Serena was sitting opposite of a woman in a suit, another therapist, with a dark wood desk in between them. Serena's leg was bobbing up and down, and her arms were crossed. Her expression was sour, like she would rather be anywhere else but in that room._

_ The therapist opened a manila folder that was sitting on the desk in front of her and spread the papers out. "I've read the reports from Ms. Carter from the past two weeks…"_

_ When the therapist didn't continue, Serena said, "And?" impatiently, the tempo of her bobbing leg staying steady._

_ She hesitated. Serena raised her slim black eyebrows. "I'm sorry, but they say you haven't improved enough for you to leave on the twenty-eighth like we discussed earlier."_

_ Serena's leg stopped abruptly. "_What?_" she hissed lowly. "We had a deal that I would leave in _two weeks._ And what did I do wrong?" Her voice was climbing with her increasing anger. "I've been better! I've even been doing those bullshit calming exercises-"_

_ "You haven't improved," the woman said firmer, trying to stay in control. "I'm sorry."_

_ "No you're not," Serena growled. "I've been doing everything I've been told because _you _said that I would be getting out of here-"_

_ "You've been cooperating in your anger management sessions, but you've failed to open up during our sessions and you're not resolving your anger in a healthy way."_

_ "How would you know how I've been "resolving my anger"?" Serena's arms came down to grip the arms of her chair. Her pale fingers turned bone white with the grip she had on them._

_ Her therapist didn't have an answer. She stayed silent as she simply stared at Serena._

_ "I _knew _that camera wasn't just in there for some safety reason, like _you _told me it was. You've been spying!"_

_ "If you don't tell me what I have to know to help you, then-"_

_ "I don't want any more bullshit from you!"_

_ "Serena-"_

_ Quick as lightening, Serena shot up from her chair, caught hold of the lamp sitting on the desk, and chucked it at the wall. A dent was left in the wall. With a furious growl that was half a shriek, Serena stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind her._

I didn't want her throwing anything else, especially if it wasn't another wall it was aimed at, but my head. I leaned against the wall beside her door and racked my brain for the right words: "_You probably won't believe me, or trust me, but you should at least hear me out, because I know that if you don't control your anger…" Maybe I shouldn't talk about her anger… "I don't know if you'll believe me-"_

The door cracked open, making me jump. A sliver of a pale face could be seen through the crack, and slim fingers with various silver and black bands encircling them gripped the door.

"Sorry," I said nervously. "I don't know if I'm bothering you, but I _really _have to talk to you."

The one blue eye swept me up and down as she appraised me. Other than that, her impassive face stayed still. After a pause, she spoke. "You must be the energy I was sensing."

Before I could reply to that odd statement, Serena opened the door wider and ushered me inside. When I stepped inside, Serena shut the door and spun on her heel. "I'm very pleased to meet you," Serena said with a small, mysterious smile. It calmed me down a little bit; maybe I had caught her at a good time. But what was with the whole energy thing?

Serena sat down with one leg folded under her and one hanging off of the bed and patted the space in front of her. I sat down on the bed as well and crossed my legs up on the bed.

"What is your name?" she asked.

"Alice," I answered.

"And why have you come to speak to me, Alice?" She was perfectly polite, with the corners of her mouth turned up slightly in what I had to guess to be eagerness and her eyes giving off the same notion. It made the black hair, dark makeup, and piercings seem less scary to me. As long as I didn't trigger any anger, I should be fine.

"Um… well, it's kinda hard to explain…" I bit my lip. "Will you at least hear me out?"

"Of course."

"Okay then… So, I can kind of… see the future. And I had a vision about you."

Instead of the doubt that I was sure to think would cross her face, her expression became even more intrigued. "Really?" Her voice dropped as she murmured to herself, "That explains the High Priestess in my last reading, and her magic energy…"

She looked up at my expression and read the confusion. "Tarot reading," she explained.

"Tarot reading? As in Tarot cards?"

"Yeah. I'm a witch." She said the last sentence with an air of pride. "I sensed a light magical energy, also, so I figured that someone with supernatural or psychic abilities would come here. Not a surprise, either, since those who practice magic in one way or another are often written off as insane."

She's a witch? Well, she sounded legit, talking about Tarot card readings and magical energies. But there are so many people in books and movies who decide to play around with witch stuff. I half hoped that she wasn't like that. Knowing a real witch would be really cool, not gonna lie.

"You _do_ believe me," she questioned, "don't you?"

I didn't want to lie to her, but I was afraid that she would get mad. Well, my answer wasn't an outright "no," so maybe she would understand? "Kinda. I mean, I want to, but I keep thinking about the people in movies and stuff that play around with this sort of stuff, ya know?"

I watched her face tentatively for her reaction. "Understandable," she said. "I can assure you, Alice, that I'm not simply playing around with witchcraft. I can prove it…" Serena looked up at the corner of the room. I followed her gaze to the camera on the wall, like a black eye watching us.

"Come with me," she said as she popped off of the bed. She bent down in front of her trunk at the foot of the bed, so I stood beside her and waited. She shoved past a couple spare blankets and books to get to the bottom layer. She removed small velvet bags of various colors that clanked together to get to a thick, old-looking, leather-bound book. She took the book, replaced the bags, shut the trunk, and straightened up to stand.

Without a word, she headed towards the bathroom. She threw the door open and waited for me to enter. Uh, okay… I entered the bathroom. She followed and shut the door behind her.

Serena sat on the bathroom floor, and I followed suit. The bathrooms we got were big enough for the two of us to sit comfortably on the floor. "This," she said grandly as she undid the leather straps that held the book closed, "is something that has been passed down in my family for years. A _real _spell book."

With a sly smile, she opened the book and flipped through the old worn pages. The print and pictures inside could still be clearly seen, but the words were written in a language that I didn't understand.

"It's in Latin," she clarified, "but my grandmother had me learn it. You see, she's been practicing the craft since she was sixteen, when her magic was strong enough to be sensed by her mother, who taught her. Mine could be sensed at fourteen. As for my mother…" She sighed. "She believes in facts and sciences. When she was old enough to practice, and my grandmother tried to teach her, she thought the whole thing was silly. Imagine her reaction when she came home to her mother and daughter at the kitchen table with an old spell book." She shook her head with a wistful smile.

"Anyway, my mom pitched a fit about the whole thing, saying she didn't want "foolish nonsense" to be taught to me. She didn't even ask me what _I _wanted, she just banned it from the house. But, as you can see, my grandmother taught me in the two hours my mom was at work and gave me things to study. She said that I had a gift for witchcraft." She beamed, but it quickly faded. "She found out a few months ago, though. I kept my things in the attic, and the door to that was in my room. She told me to stop, but I guess she thought I was into it so much that I was insane."

"My dad sent me here for my visions," I said bitterly, "even though there's _proof _that they're true."

Serena sighed. "As I said, magic can be written off as insanity. And speaking of your visions, you never told me what it was about." She closed the book gently and fastened the straps again with slim, gentle fingers.

My stomach clenched a little and released with a twinge of fear. Hopefully, she liked me enough to stay calm. She didn't even seem like she had anger issues, but I didn't want to risk lighting a short fuse. "Well, you were in your therapist's office."

"What did she say?" she asked eagerly. "Did she talk about me leaving?"

"Yeah, but she said… she said that you haven't improved enough to leave."

She tensed and stared down at her hands that had tightened into fists. "Oh." I heard her inhale and exhale slowly. "And why did she say this?"

"Because you didn't say enough in therapy and you're not "resolving your anger in a healthy way." And yes, those cameras _are _there for them to watch us, not just safety. I'm still wondering if the cameras have audio…"

She took in another breath and blew it out loudly. "So, if I do better in therapy and actually use that stupid stress ball, I can go sooner?"

"I don't know, but it would be a start. I just thought you should know. Oh, what day is it?"

"The seventeenth." Oh, then I had more time than I thought; I had only been keeping track of what day of the week it was and not the number.

"I guess you would still have a chance of getting out the twenty-eighth, then."

Serena stared at her hands for a second, and then nodded. "Well, I guess I'll have to try, then, because I don't want to be stuck here forever."

A pang of sadness pounded my chest. It seemed like I would never get out of here. "I hope you do get out," I tried to say without the sadness, but it still colored my tone.

"Don't worry," Serena said hopefully. "You'll leave here, too, sometime or another. You just need patience."

I managed a small smile. "Thanks."

She stood up from the floor, and I copied her. We went back into her room, where she tucked the spell book tightly back into the chest under the velvet bags and blankets. She turned back to face me and glanced at the clock. "It was a pleasure meeting you," she said with a pleasant smile, "but I have somewhere to be." Her eyes hardened as she talked about "somewhere." Probably therapy; I couldn't blame her for not wanting to go to that. She was going to have to prove herself with opening up in her sessions and staying calm. Acting like you trusted someone enough to answer your therapist's every probing question sucked.

"Okay. It was nice meeting you, too. Good luck."

We left her room together and went our separate ways with departing waves. A triumphant smile slid onto my lips. I gave her a fighting chance against this place, and it was with the reason I was here. And Mrs. Stevens and my dad wanted me to get rid of it?

If I didn't want to get rid of my visions, then why should I? Serena was only another example of why these visions were a good thing. The pros list was outweighing the cons by _a lot_ right now. It didn't look like the cons would be added to any time soon, either.

But then again, if I didn't work on getting rid of them, I _would _be stuck in here forever. I could always fake it – this wasn't something evident unless I was actually having a vision – but it was only a matter of time before someone would figure it out that I was no better. I would end up back here with only a lingering taste of the temporary freedom I had had. Plus, Mrs. Stevens wouldn't trust me much if I lied, which would make me have to try extra hard to convince her that I was better, but what if I _didn't _get better? Maybe that cons list would get longer after all…

The triumphant smile I came out with turned into a contemplative scowl by the time I got back to the common room. Some of the stress faded as I saw that Jasper was still there on the couch. At least there was someone reliable I could come to. Maybe if I told him about my dilemma, he would help me come up with an answer.

He smiled when I came into view, and I did the same reflexively. "How did it go?" he asked as I plopped down beside him.

"Great," I chirped, previous problems forgotten. I went over the whole thing with him: her being a witch, me telling her the vision, her chances of getting out. He listened with rapt attention to the whole story, which led into the previous situation I was mulling over. His attention didn't waver as I told him the details of that, too.

When I was done, he didn't say anything. He sat in a thoughtful silence, his far-away eyes cast to the floor. I just stared at him as he thought. His jaw slowly clenched and unclenched unconsciously as he pondered my problem. He leaned forward to rest his right arm on his leg and cup his chin, stroking it in thought. Finally, his eyes sparked again, and he sat up straighter.

"You could tell Mrs. Stevens that you could use them…"

"But she seems so set on me getting rid of them," I argued. "What if she doesn't listen?"

A small smile teased his lips. "I have the feeling that you're not used to taking no for an answer."

I grinned back at him. "You would be right."

"Then if she says no, don't take it. If you treat her the same as you would anyone else, more likely than not she'll take you seriously."

I bit my lip. Would that really work with her? Well, not trying would get me nowhere. "I'll try it and hope for the best…"

"No." At my curious glance, he elaborated. "'I'll try it and hope for the best' isn't good enough."

I grinned. "Come on," he urged, "you can do better than that."

I sighed dramatically and said, "I _will_ get her to listen to me."

Jasper grinned. "There ya go."

Laughing, I said, "Thanks for the confidence boost."

"Any time." Something gleamed deep in his eyes that I couldn't recognize. It was gone before I could think on it further.

We watched TV and made conversation. After awhile, a figure came down the hallway and came straight towards us. Serena plopped down onto the couch beside me and sighed heavily, crossing her arms. Jasper looked at me questioningly. He seemed to ask _Is that her? _with his eyes. I nodded.

"Hey," I said to Serena. "Uh, how'd it go?"

She leaned her head back against the back of the couch, closed her eyes, and rubbed her temples. "Holding hostility back is sooo stressful," she said. "But I think they were impressed, with Jenny beaming the whole time." She opened her eyes again to roll them. She caught sight of Jasper. "Who's that?"

"Oh, right; Serena, this is Jasper. Jasper, Serena." Jasper waved, and Serena smiled at him before she sat up straighter.

"So, do you know about Alice's gift?"

_Gift. _She was the first person to actually call it that out loud.

Jasper smiled. "Yes, I do," he said with an air of pride.

"Did she tell you about me, then?" Serena didn't sound mad or accusing, just curious.

"Yeah, she did. So you're a – witch then?"

"Yup." Jasper began asking her questions about it: what specifically she did, if it really worked, how she got into it. She answered each of them with animation. I sat back and listened with interest to each question and answer.

Serena mentioned my "energies," which made my mind wander. She said they were good, so the visions _can't _be bad, right? Sure, I wouldn't mention that a witch can back me up when I fight my case, but it did reassure me on the whole thing.

I _would _get people to listen to me and my side of things. There was no way I was going to be stuck in here. If anyone fought me on it, I would fight back just as hard. I would not give up.

**I have a problem with creating characters. Buuuut it's fuuuuuun :D**

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	32. Selfless

***Clears throat* IT'S BEEN EIIIGHTEEEN DAAAAYS, SINCE I… updated this… AND this is 18 KBs :D**

Chapter 32: Selfless

JPOV

I found myself in the comfortable trend of seeing my sister and her friends on the two couches in the common room on Sunday. Alice had said that they're only going to come Sundays from now on so her mother and sister can have some time with her.

We talked about things like their school for awhile, but the subject changed when Bella glanced at the news on TV and asked about Jarrett. Edward and Rosalie had heard it from their parents since they were at school when it aired. Alice filled them in on all of the details of it. Once they knew everything and the discussions about it were over, Rosalie asked us about Alice and I's therapy.

Alice sighed. "I don't really think I'm getting "better,"" she said with air quotes around the word better. "But I decided that I don't want to make my visions go away."

After a pause to let that sink in, Edward said, "Are you sure? Your dad won't be happy…"

"I know, but he's just going to have to deal with it. I am worried, though, because he could probably keep me in here as long as he wants."

"What made you decide this?" Bella asked. Alice told them about Serena and how she knows that the visions aren't anything bad.

"If you need it," Rosalie said, "we'll be your backup on this with your dad because one," she held up a finger, "I think you're totally right, and two," she held up a second finger, "I don't want my best friend stuck in here."

Alice smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Rose."

"Speaking of people I don't want in here, how've you been doing, Jasper?"

I grinned at Rosalie. "My therapist says that I might be getting out soon. I think I've stopped hallucinating, or at least I'm getting better."

She gasped. "Really?" I nodded. She sprang up from the couch and pulled me up from my sitting position to give me a hug. "I'm glad. I'm so glad." An emotion other than joy colored her tone; it made me wonder. I would have to ask her about it later.

We both sat back down and helped Alice out with arguments for her dad. We had some pretty good ones voiced when Dr. Hetzer came around the corner and waved me over to him.

"I'll be right back," I said as I stood up. The other noticed him there; I heard Rosalie asked Alice who was calling me over.

"Hey, Jasper," he greeted cheerfully.

"Hi. Everything okay?"

"Everything's great. I just got out of a meeting, actually."

I remembered our last session and how he said that meetings were held every Sunday for patients. "And you mentioned me?"

"I did." He grinned and picked his briefcase up off of the floor. He opened it up and pulled out a composition book with a pen hooked onto the cover by the cap. "You'll be staying for another two weeks for evaluation and writing in this instead of your sessions. Make sure you write in it every day, and write anything you think ties to the hallucinations."

I took the composition book from him. "Thank you," I said. "I appreciate it."

"No problem."

I felt a tap on my elbow. Rosalie was suddenly beside me. "You're his therapist?"

Dr. Hetzer nodded. "Yes I am. I take it you're Rosalie?"

"Yeah. Hi." She turned to me. "Do you mind if I talk to him alone for a minute?" she whispered.

"No, go ahead," I replied. She probably wanted to know about how I've been doing from the person who would know best.

I left the two alone to talk and went back to the others. "Why did Rose leave?" Emmett asked as I sat back down.

"I guess she wants to know what's been going on from my therapist," I answered.

"What's the notebook for?" Alice asked me.

"I have to stay for another two weeks for them to make sure that I'm okay to leave," I informed the group, "and I write in this instead of going to therapy sessions, unless I want one."

"So you're really getting out of here?" I could see the sadness in her eyes, but it didn't leak into her voice for the others to hear.

"Hopefully." I nudged her shoulder with mine. "Hey, don't worry; you'll get out of here, too. It'll just take some time."

She gave a faint smile, but I could tell she doubted what I said.

Rosalie came back a minute later. "I scheduled a session for us, Henry, Carlisle, and Esme." Rose had said before that Carlisle and Esme were her adoptive parents as well as Edward's. I didn't know why they were going to be here – simply to meet them? If these were the people who took care of Rosalie when I couldn't, I _did_ want to meet them and express my thanks. I appreciated that Rosalie kept my own foster father in mind; I didn't want him being left out of all of this.

"Okay, when?"

"Well, they all said that they could come Wednesday, and they'll let me take off school. Your therapist said that he could do it then. Are you fine with that?"

"Yeah. My schedule's not too tight around here," I replied with a playful grin.

She smiled back, but humor was replaced by something else in her eyes. It was gone in the next moment too quickly for me to decipher it. I could only tell that it reflected her earlier tone when she hugged me earlier. What was bothering her?

"Great!" For the rest of their visit, we all kept conversation going. Rosalie acted normally in that time. What changed between the two times?

When they went to leave, I didn't get a chance alone with her. Before I could make a decision on whether to ask her to stay for a minute or just let her go, she was gone with her friends. I would have to remember to ask her at the scheduled group therapy, then.

Alice and I stayed on the couches. She was staring at the television, but she was frowning with a sad expression in her eyes.

"You don't believe me about getting out, do you?"

She focused her attention to me and sighed. "I'm sorry. I just don't see how I can. I don't think that I can just make the visions go away all that quickly."

"You shouldn't expect to."

"But I'm starting to think that they won't go away _at all,_" she added. She scooted closer and leaned her head on my shoulder naturally. I put my arm around her in the same manner. In a way, it _did _feel natural.

"All we can really do is wait and see how it goes," I told her honestly. "If they don't go away… I guess we'll just have to think of a plan if it happens."

"I think this is beyond what you or me could do," she replied hopelessly. "Even though it's _about_ me," she grumbled.

I looked down into her sad face. "I'm sorry."

She smiled faintly. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm sorry that I can't help you."

She wrapped her arm around my waist and hugged me. "You being here is more than enough."

"I always will be here. Don't doubt that, at least."

She smiled guiltily. "I won't, Jasper." She closed her eyes and sighed. "I won't."

The promise I had made pulled at the back of my mind. _Some things you can't control, _an unsure voice said. _Some promises are broken by something else._

There was no way that I would let anything break my promise, I thought to myself. I would stop it.

_What happens when you leave her here?_

I didn't have an answer for that. I could visit her, sure, but that might just make her feel worse. Another friend of hers leaving her behind here. I would see the sadness in her eyes, and I would hate it. I would hate myself for causing it.

I had gotten my help. Now it was her turn. I wouldn't break my promise by leaving here without her. Even if I had wanted to, my heart gave me no choice. I couldn't turn back now, but I didn't regret it. I never would.

***Sigh* The actual chapter didn't even hit 1,400 words, which makes me sad. Sorry for that; the length and time of this doesn't match up well. I'll try and get the action to come soon, because there shall be some, don't you worry, my bunnies :D**

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	33. My Heart

Chapter 33: My Heart

APOV

I really appreciated that Jasper was trying to help me feel better, but I still couldn't help but feel depressed. Of course I was happy for his future freedom, but it made me crave my own that much more.

Jasper said that he would always be here for me, but wasn't he leaving? I knew that he would visit me, but just thinking about his calming presence being so much farther away made me panic.

I pushed that thought out of my mind and hugged him tighter. His own arm tightened in response around my shoulders. A pang of guilt hammered at my chest at how selfish I was being. Jasper would get to be out of here; would I really want to hold him back with his own guilt that he would probably feel? He could see through the poorly constructed wall I was trying to build to guard my feelings from him easily.

Holding back a sigh, I pulled away from Jasper's hug. "Thanks."

"No problem," he replied with a smile that made me feel better and worse at the same time. Jasper in general just made my mood brighten, but his sweet smile made a voice in my head say, "You're going to let him get sucked into your suffering?" I would rather be depressed than guilt-ridden and unfair in this situation. Besides, like I thought earlier, he would surely visit. It's not like he was leaving my life forever.

We both sat on the couch and watched TV. I kinda just stared at the colors and movements instead of paying full attention to the plot of it. My mind was still running with wordless thoughts of sadness along with different plans. If I didn't want to be in here, then I should devise a way to get out, now shouldn't I? Even if any of my plans didn't work in my head, it made me feel better that I was trying and not just giving up and sulking. I hated feeling like I was doing nothing about anything and letting life go by while I pouted in my misfortunes.

My thoughts went in the same pointless circles that they always did. I already knew that I wouldn't give in and push the visions away. I had decided to tell Mrs. Stevens about what I wanted to do. From there, I was stuck.

What more _was _there to do? I would have to wait until after I asked her to move on from there. She would most likely tell my dad about it, and then he would call me or give orders or call me _to _give orders. He probably wouldn't come to visit. Just another depressing thought to add to the growing list. This whole situation sucked. It didn't help that I felt like everyone was free except for me. I've never felt so lonely in my life.

I moved to strategic thoughts to stray away from the darker ones. So, if I asked Mrs. Stevens about keeping the visions and she said that was fine but my dad said no, what course of action would I take? Well, since it worked so well last time, I would turn to reasoning instead of whining and get him to see my side of this. Easier said than done, but it was a plan if it came to that option.

Now, what if Mrs. Stevens objected? This was trickier, since I wasn't sure if she would hear me out about it or if she would make me do what she thought was best for me. Okay then, so if she said that it would be best for me to work on stopping the visions, I would use my adult reasoning again – it worked with my own father, so maybe it was something that went over well with most adults – and explain my reasons for what I wanted to do.

None of these plans featured the fact that they might not listen to me. Well, then I would try again with pushing my visions away. If I just couldn't do it, then I would tell them that and present my case again.

I held back a proud smile so I wouldn't look like a total idiot grinning for no reason. Look at me, planning all of this stuff out all professionally and whatnot.

With some of my problems solved, I zoned back into the TV. Meh, nothing too interesting. I looked over at Jasper, who quickly looked away from me… Crap, did I proudly smile on accident and look like a total dork? He wasn't laughing at me or anything, so maybe not. Had he just been staring at me, then? I tried and failed at holding back a blush. _Could _you hold back a blush? You should be able to – it would save _a lot_ of people _a lot _of trouble.

I directed my eyes back to the TV. Was it my imagination, or did he peek at me out of the corner of his eye? Oh, crap, I hope not. He would wonder about my stupid blush.

I sighed internally. _Why _are you blushing again, Alice?

_Because someone has a crush, _a little voice sang. It sounded like Rosalie. It probably was – that was something she would say to me now. Wait, since when did I have a crush on Jasper?

_Since that night in his room, _my internal Rosalie voice answered,_ remember?_

Oh yeah, that… I felt my face get even hotter than it was before as my stupid blush deepened. Jasper didn't look at me, as far as I could tell. Hopefully he hadn't noticed, or he thought that I thought it was hot in here or something.

I sighed to myself again. Like he would come to that lame conclusion. Jeez, Alice, you're better than this. If you like him (psh, yeah, we're past the _ifs _here – _you like Jasper_), then you don't blush and giggle like some girly idiot. You act natural for the most part, but make sure you show enough interest for the guy to get the hint. Suave, but interested.

During my little relationship tutorial in my head, I kept my eye (or more like my peripheral vision) on Jasper to see if he showed any signs that he had caught on to my new crush on him or if he looked at me again. Neither of those things happened. I snuck a fuller peek at him to see that it looked like he was thinking; his eyes seemed far away and a little crease twitched in between his eyebrows in a cute way.

Did that mean he knew about me liking him? Was he uncomfortable? Was he flattered? Was he happy because his feelings were mutual? Was he thinking of a way to shoot me down politely? Maybe a way to ask me out? Oh, but where would we go if I was stuck in here? That wouldn't work out well… Maybe he would hold off on asking me then until I got out and we could actually go on a date somewhere.

Whoa, Alice. ADD much?

I hushed my inner babble and took another peripheral peek over at Jasper. He was still in thinking mode. Now I _really _wondered if he was thinking about me. But he probably did have other things on his mind…

My head started to hurt from all of the stress I felt. I took a deep but quiet breath to clear my thoughts. I would talk to my therapist and deal with the boy problems when the time came. Right now, I just needed to be calm and push the stressful things from my mind for awhile.

The headache slowly receded, but with it came the blurry vision and fading room as the vision came to me.

_A girl who looked about fourteen or fifteen took a deep breath outside one of the plain brown doors of a patient's room. A closer look at the small nameplate said that the room's occupant was Justin Taney. The girl took another breath as she raked a hand through her thick mahogany curls, bit her lip with what looked like contained excitement, and opened the door._

_Justin was lying on his bed with his eyes closed. When he heard the door open, he opened his eyes and smiled at the girl. She smiled back, still biting her lip. "Hi," she said._

_He stood up from the bed. "Hey." After a pause, Justin added, "What? No hug?" He opened his arms and waved her in with the corner of his mouth quirked up in a boyish grin._

_She smiled and walked over until she was in his arms. "There we go," he said. She relaxed into his embrace and wrapped her own arms around his waist._

"_I have good news," Justin announced. The girl, who had her head against his chest, looked up at him. _

"_What?"_

"_I'll be leaving just two days after you do."_

_The girl's face brightened like a light was suddenly turned on inside of her. "Really?" she asked excitedly._

"_Really."_

_She squealed and squeezed his middle. He laughed and hugged her back with the same exuberance. The girl pulled away to lay a big kiss right on Justin's mouth. The small conscious part of my mind told me that this was a bit private, but I couldn't pull myself out of the vision when I tried._

_Anyway, Justin looked shocked, but didn't pull away. When the girl did, her eyes were wide with shock, all happiness gone. She put her fingers to her lips. "I – uh – I'm sorry…" She looked at Justin once more before darting out of the room._

_Once he got over his own surprise, he called, "Audrey!" and ran out of the room after her._

The vision faded until I was seeing out of my own eyes into the common room again. I blinked to clear my head of the slight confusion that accompanied the vision. Jasper's concerned, blue-eyed gaze was trained on me. "Did you have a vision?"

I blinked two more times and nodded. He didn't stop looking at me, but his eyes had changed to a look of patience as he waited for me to either tell him what it was about or explain why I wouldn't tell him.

I went with the first option; I would leave the "private ending" between the boy and girl out of the explanation for their benefit. "There were two people: a boy and a girl that were a few years younger than us. The boy said that he was getting out two days after the girl… But why would I see that?" I mused the last part out loud softly. "Maybe it was just a random vision…"

Jasper shrugged with a pondering expression on his face. "Is that all they did? Talked? How did they react?"

"They were both happy about it, but they didn't just talk. I'd rather not say any more about what else they did; it's kinda private."

He nodded in understanding. "Do you know their names?"

"The girl's name was Audrey, and the boy was Justin-" Before I said his last name, someone turned to look at me from the front desk. It was Justin Taney. He was dressed in street clothes instead of the white we all had to wear, saying that he was new. His mouth was turned down in a frown. The smile looked better on him, I thought.

He must have heard me say his name. A women – his mother – tapped his shoulder to reclaim his attention, and they were joined by a worker in blue, who led them down the hall. Justin glanced at the common room again, not seeming to know it was me who had said his name. Then he disappeared down the hall.

"Justin Taney. I just saw him." Jasper looked over at the main desk. "He's gone, though."

He turned back to me. "Maybe you should try and find out more about him and Audrey. It might start to make sense if you knew them better. It might be random, but maybe not. They could need your help." He said the last sentence like I was some kind of superhero. It kind of made me feel good, but also a bit pressured.

"That's probably a good idea," I agreed. "I just don't know how. I mean, he's new, so I don't wanna hit him with a big dose of crazy on his first few days or anything. I don't even know Audrey's last name, so I don't know how I'm going to ask about her." I sighed. "I just don't know, and I don't know if I have some kind of time limit or something."

"I'm sure you'll figure something out," Jasper encouraged. "Besides, if he's getting out, then what could be so bad? Like you said, it could be random."

"Yeah… I'll figure something out. Thanks," I said with a smile.

"You're welcome," he replied. He put an arm around my shoulder and squeezed it. "It's what I'm here for."

My smile got wider. Where would I be without Jasper?

I looked over at the front desk. The only person there was that one girl who yelled at me and my friends. She was flipping through a magazine with a bored expression. Maybe she could help me. Well, it's worth a shot; the only thing she can really do is be more annoyed by me.

"I'll be right back," I said as I got up. I felt Jasper's eyes on my back as I went up to the desk. She looked up from her magazine and sneered when she saw who it was.

"Can I help you?" she asked. It didn't sound like she wanted to help me at all.

"Uh, can you tell me anything about Justin Taney?"

She looked back down at her magazine. "I'm sure Justin Taney can tell you more about Justin Taney than me," she said lazily as she flipped the page.

"I don't want to bother him."

"So you decided to bother me?"

"Why is he here?"

She looked up to give me a look like I was stupid. "I can't tell you that. It's confidential."

I sighed and went back to the couch. "Well _that _went well," I grumbled sarcastically.

"So what now?" Jasper asked.

I sighed for about the millionth time today. "I'm out of ideas at the moment. If I want answers, I'll probably have to ask Audrey and Justin, but I just don't want to stress them out." I frowned. "This is all so stressful."

"Don't worry," Jasper said as he draped his arm around me again comfortingly. "I'm sure you have some time to figure this out."

"Hopefully." I leaned my head against Jasper's shoulder and closed my eyes. I had to calm down. The vision could have been random. There might be nothing _to _do.

But the thought of taking that chance and doing nothing didn't sit right with me. I would have to do something. I wouldn't risk their freedom from this place. Justin said that they were both getting out, but what if I did nothing and then they _didn't _get out? I would figure this out, one way or another.

**So, not much action… bah.**

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ou act natural


	34. Here We Are

**Alice's POV again, just so you don't get confused if you skim over the POV thinking it's Jasper's. I'm thinking of YOU.**

Chapter 34: Here We Are

APOV

After thinking about it half the night, I decided that the only thing to do to get answers was to ask either Justin or Audrey about it. I had thought about stealing files on them when I was in my I'm-so-tired-anything's-a-plan stage of the night. One thing with that plan is that I would most likely get caught, and another thing is that would be way disrespectful of their privacy. Would I want someone to be snooping through my personal file? Heck no.

I was out of ideas, and those two might need some help. Just because this was my plan doesn't mean it's free of some major flaws. One of those flaws being that I had no idea who or where Audrey was. She might not even be at the asylum. There was also the high chance that they wouldn't believe me. Justin was so new here that he would probably write me off as just another crazy person. But this was my only shot, and I had to take it.

Once I was ready for the day, I left my room and went around the front desk to the hall parallel to mine. I walked slowly down the hall to look at all of the name plates beside the doors. Crap, I hadn't checked the time before I left; what if he was asleep? It was slim that he would believe me when he was fully conscious, but what if he was one of those guys who got angry at everything when they were tired? There were a few people in the common room when I passed, so maybe it wasn't too early in the morning.

When I got to the door marked Justin Taney, I swallowed nervously and knocked timidly on the door.

I heard a sigh from inside the door. "It's not like it's locked." He didn't say it sarcastically or harshly; he sounded too depressed for that. I guess he was tired, then. Hopefully, he had an opened mind.

"Okay then," I muttered before twisting the doorknob and letting myself in. Justin was sprawled on his bed with an arm under his head. His chocolate brown hair was a tangle on his head like he hadn't gotten up yet, but his eyes were clear as if he had been awake long enough to be alert.

His face crumpled a bit in confusion, but his dark brown eyes didn't seem to hold too much interest. "Who are you?"

I closed the door and stepped into the room further. "Uh, I'm Alice. Can I talk to you?"

He sighed again. "Why not?" He sat up on the bed and swung his legs over the side to lean over and rest his elbows on them. I think he looked thinner than in my vision. His skin was also more pale instead of fair like in the vision. But his eyes were the most different. They were dull and uncaring instead of dancing with light and happiness. Maybe I was meant to get this kid happier.

I stayed standing and quickly worked through a plan in my head. Maybe I shouldn't hit him with some crazy so early. "Do you know Audrey?"

"Audrey who?" A dim light of confusion came on in his eyes.

"I don't know, actually, but she has long, curly brownish-red hair, green eyes, some freckles, a couple inches shorter than you… Anything?"

Justin shook his head. "I haven't been here long. Why do you want to know if I know her?"

I bit my lip. "Okay… hear me out, alright? I know you probably won't believe me when I tell you this, but I can see the future."

Justin sighed yet again and ran a hand through his unruly hair. This kid sighed a _lot. _Did he sigh so much before he came here? Was he too stressed before this? "I haven't even been here one day and I'm already being mobbed by crazies. You're right, I don't believe you."

"I _am _telling the truth. There's proof of it, but I can't show it to you… I guess you would just have to ask people that I know. But it's the truth."

"The thing about the truth is that it gets lost in lies. It's happened too much to believe much of anything." He looked down at his plain shoes and frowned. I wanted to ask him about what he meant so I could understand, but that would be a bad idea.

"You don't have to believe me, but could you do something?" He looked up, but didn't answer. "Could you make an effort to get to know Audrey if you see her? It would be a good thing to do."

"Fine," he sighed. He sounded doubtful, like Audrey was a figment of my imagination and that he would never actually meet her.

"Okay. I'll leave you alone now." With an awkward wave, I turned and went quickly to the door. The door was halfway shut when I heard him say, "Alice?"

I poked my head back through the door. "Yeah?"

There was finally an emotion in his eyes: longing. For what, I didn't know. "If you are telling the truth… am I…" He looked at the floor and thought of the words. "Am I any different?" The longing burned brighter. He wanted good news, and I was happy that I could give him some. He looked like he needed it.

"You're happy."

"Happy," he echoed thoughtfully. "I hope you're right."

I smiled at him. "I hope so, too." I shut the door without another word.

Jasper was in the common room when I was there again. When he caught sight of me, he smiled and stood up from the couch. "There you are," he said when he was right in front of me. "I went to your room to see if you wanted breakfast, but you weren't there. Have you already eaten."

The talk of getting food made my stomach rumble. "No, not yet. Come on."

We walked side by side down the hall towards the cafeteria. "If you haven't eaten, then why were you over here?" He gestured to the hallway in general.

"I decided that I had to talk to Justin. He doesn't know who Audrey is yet, and he didn't believe me at first when I told him about me seeing the future, but I think he might have started to before I left."

"Have you talked to Audrey?" Jasper asked.

"I don't even know if she's here, but I'll check later." After a pause, I added, "You should have seen him, Jazz. In the vision, he was so happy and alive. He was nearly emotionless when I first got to his room today, and before I left, his eyes… they were so sad and full of some kind of need. Then he asked me how he was in the future if I was right, and I told him that he was happy. It sounded like he hadn't been happy in a long time. I hope Audrey can fix that."

"I hope so, too," Jasper murmured distractedly. I looked up at him to see that his eyes were far away. Sadness hit my heart. Was he lost in his own memories?

He noticed me staring and smiled. It didn't quite touch his eyes.

We entered the cafeteria and got our breakfasts. "So the next plan is to see if Audrey's here, I guess," I summed up as we sat down. "I can't do much more after that."

"If they're both happy because of just being introduced, then you're doing more than you think," Jasper replied. "Trust me." He stared right into my eyes. He was thinking of us, then, and our situation.

Without looking away, I said, "I think they're meant to heal each other. Like us."

He smiled. "I agree."

After we ate, we went back down the hall. "I think I'll just go walk up the hall and see if Audrey's here," I told Jasper.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.

"Hmm… sure." We were so alike Justin and Audrey that maybe her seeing us together and how happy we are will help her believe me and trust me.

We went up the hallway with me checking the left doors and Jasper checking the right. A little after halfway down the hall, Jasper called me over to a room that belonged to Audrey Winston. I knocked on the door. I heard the bed mattress move as someone got off of it, then footsteps. A girl only an inch or so taller than me with short white-blonde hair and blue eyes opened the door. "Hi," she greeted cheerfully. "Can I help you?"

"Audrey?"

"That's me," she answered.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess we have the wrong person. I'm so sorry for bothering you."

"Nah," she waved off with her hand, "it's fine. Which Audrey are ya lookin' for?"

"Well, I don't know her last name."

"Okay, well can you describe her? I might know who you're talking about."

"Alright, she's got green eyes, curly brownish-red hair that's long, some freckles, and she's about fourteen or fifteen…"

"Ooooooh…" Audrey Winston nodded. "Yeah, Audrey McAuley. I know who you're talking about." Her voice was lower and tinged with pity. "Go past the therapists' hall and down the next one you come to. Go to the right; that's the girls' hall. You'll find her there. But be careful. I haven't talked to her before, but as far as I know, her feelings could be… fragile."

I exchanged a curious glance with Jasper. "Fragile?" Jasper asked.

She leaned forward a little and whispered, "I'm friends with one of the workers here who knows just about everything, and she's quite a talker. Audrey came in a few weeks ago. My friend said that she had tried to kill herself before coming here. Where you'll find her is a safer ward." She shook her head. "It's really sad. But anyway, I wouldn't pressure her or anything, in case she—you know… snaps."

I nodded my head. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for the help."

"No prob." Audrey waved at us before shutting the door.

"Are we still going, or have you changed your mind?" Jasper asked.

I sighed and looked up at him. "I don't want to pressure her, but she just looked so happy in the vision. I have to help her, Jazz."

He smiled down at me. "I know you do. Let's go, then. I'll be with you every step of the way."

I grinned at him. "I know you will."

I knocked on the door marked Audrey McAuley. It looked the same from the outside as any other room in the building.

A groan and a rustling of blankets could be heard. After waiting a second to listen for footsteps and hearing none, I knocked again. This time, a groan preceded the sound of footsteps. Jasper and I stepped back from the door.

The Audrey from my vision answered the door, but in a way it wasn't the same girl. She, too, looked so different from her happy self. Her pretty, curly dark hair was tangled in a careless heap on her head; either she moved a lot when she slept or she hadn't brushed it in awhile. She was skinnier, too, like Justin was. Her eyes had the same dullness as Justin's had, but her eyes were green. They would have been really pretty if there was some light in them.

Not even a spark of curiosity lit her eyes as she took in Jasper and I. "Who are you?" she asked in an uncaring voice. It was like it was practiced etiquette to ask someone who they are more than she actually cared about who the people actually were.

"I'm Jasper, and she's Alice," Jasper took over for me in a soft and smooth voice when I didn't answer her question immediately. I sent him a thankful glance, which he caught quickly before continuing. "Alice would like to speak with you, if you would let her."

"Sure." Without a word or change in her eyes, she went back to her bed and sat against the headboard. Dark circles were under her eyes, I noticed.

Jasper and I entered the room and stood in front of the bed. She didn't offer us a seat. She just stared up at us with her big, blank eyes and waited.

"Okay," I began, "I have to tell you something that you may or may not believe. But will you hear me out?"

A shrug was my answer. I didn't expect much else, but it left my question unanswered.

"Alright, then. I can see the future." I waited for something – anything – to flare up in her expression, but it stayed as easy to read as a book written in invisible ink.

"In my vision," I continued, "I saw you and a guy named Justin Taney. You were both happy. Much happier than you are now. I'm telling you this so maybe you can make an effort of getting to know each other and… I don't know, getting better in some way?"

I hoped for at least a bit of anger, but her face stayed blank. "I won't get better," she said in a dead voice. "It doesn't matter if I'm happy if I'll never leave here. It doesn't even matter if I do leave here."

"But you do leave," I countered. "My vision said you do."

She shrugged. "People misinterpret things all the time. Sometimes they're tricked. Either you misinterpreted something, or your mind tricked you. It's not true no matter which way it goes." She crawled into her bed and burrowed under the covers to close the conversation. Jasper touched my arm to go, but I wasn't ready yet.

"If you see Justin Taney," I said to her white form, "will you at least listen to him if he talks to you? Make some kind of effort if he does the same for you?"

"Sure," she mumbled.

With another second of staring at her, I turned and walked out of the room with Jasper following me. "Let's hope Justin makes that effort," I muttered.

"You did good," Jasper said encouragingly. "You can't fix everything for them. You just have to give them that push so they can fix themselves."

I looked up at him. "But what if they don't want to be fixed?"

He looked back down at me and put an arm around my shoulders. "They do," he said quietly with that same wistfulness as before. "I know they do."

**Favorite Story: Arlaine139, Pixie97**

**Favorite Author: Pixie97, KevinJonas-N-MikaelaDanvers**

**Author Alert: Pixie97, KevinJonas-N-MikaelaDanvers**

**Story Alert: Pixie97**

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	35. AN

**Hey y'all.**

**So I guess this story is going on hiatus on behalf of NaNoWriMo.**

**Some People: "What the heck, Flurffee? What are you talking about?"**

**I'm glad you asked, reader! I had the same question for Sebastian Silverhand, my awesome duck friend. NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. I wanted to inform you just in case anyone was thinking of at least trying. You can Google it for more info, but the gist of it is that you write a 50,000 word novel before November 30****th****.**

**I've decided to embrace the challenge. If you do too, just mosey on over to .org and read up on it, then make an account if ya wanna.**

**I thought I would tell you about it so you would have the opportunity to do it if you want. Oh, and to tell you about the hiatus. Sorry about that, but maybe it will help me. If not, it will let me see how I can deal with the pressure and deadline of a month for 50,000 words. Don't worry, I still have the ideas, but another project is calling my name. That could give me ideas for the story, too.**

**See you in a month. **


	36. Save You

**I am back! WITH A BETA! Scars for Blood! You should read her stuff, too because it's good :D Especially Vacation to Italy. But yeah, here's your chapter.**

Chapter 35: Save You

Justin POV

The worker guy named Kevin smiled at me. "Good luck." Then, he walked away, leaving me at the door of the therapist's office for my Wednesday group session. I didn't smile back at him like I might have done if I had felt like being polite. The effort of slapping a fake smile on my face and going through the nearly forgotten motions didn't seem worth the work.

I didn't want to go in. No, that was an understatement. I really, really, _really _didn't want to go in. Being expected to act like a good boy and tell everyone my problems even though they already know that I'm depressed made me a little sick. Then they would show pity that I didn't want, but that didn't matter, because they would feel obligated to give it to me. And then, I would be expected to listen and show the same pity that no one else probably wanted.

Resisting the urge to bang my head against the wall a few times, I turned the knob and walked through the door. All of the seats but two were filled, and the occupants of the filled ones turned to look at me. Ugh, don't you just hate that? When everyone's in the room but you, and then they all turn to look? It's just awkward, being the one entering the room, just standing in the doorway with all eyes on you.

I shuffled into the room and took the seat with my back to the door. The other empty chair was across the room, right beside a smiling therapist – the only one smiling in the room. There were two therapists, but the other one seemed to know that she would look as stupid as the other one if she grinned like an idiot at a whole bunch of depressed kids that probably wanted to punch her in the face as much as I did.

"You're Justin?" the smiling therapist asked. She had that high-pitched, annoying voice that was way too optimistic, like she either thought nothing was wrong with the world, or she just popped back too many happy pills. I mean, being a therapist, she would have access to that stuff, right?

I just nodded and looked down at the carpet. It was charcoal and boring, but better than awkwardly meeting someone's eyes. "Great!" she chirped. "Now, we should get started, and maybe Audrey will show up sometime later."

Audrey. She was the one that the weird future girl told me about. Could she have been right?

I felt a small glimmer of hope shine. If she had been right about the girl, she had to have been right about me being happier. I did remember being happy, years ago, but it was like looking at someone else's memories when I thought of them.

The weird girl – Alice – said that I should talk to her. I didn't want my hopes to be this high, but I couldn't stop it from soaring, thinking that just talking to some girl could make me happy. One glimmer of hope.

"We have another new member with us today," I heard from the peppy therapist when I zoned back in. "Go on, stand up and introduce yourself."

She was staring at me expectantly. The other therapist was staring at me the same way. _Everyone _was staring at me, waiting for me to stand up. Of course, she couldn't just say my name to introduce me when she knew it, but she's making _me _do it _myself. _

I stood up awkwardly, cleared my throat, and shifted my weight from one foot to another. "Um, I'm Justin," I mumbled to the white tennis shoes that I hated.

"Hello, Justin," the therapist said. I sat back down heavily. "I'm Jenny."

"Margaret," the other therapist announced.

The others went around the circle and stated their names, but I zoned out. I didn't really care who they were, and I probably never remember them anyway. Then, Jenny asked me to tell everyone what my problem was.

I didn't want to say it, but she would probably keep asking for me to obey, or I would have to say it eventually, so I said, "I'm depressed, I guess."

"And why is that, Justin?" When I shrugged, she pushed on. "How can we help you if you won't tell us what's wrong?" I shrugged again.

The door opened, and everyone turned to look, taking the undesired attention off of me. I didn't just because I didn't want to be a hypocrite and make someone else feel awkward like I did.

"Hello, Audrey," Jenny chirped. "Nice of you to join us."

I heard sliding on the carpet, and then she came into view. She looked like the girl Alice described, but the frown on her face and the way her pale skin was stretched over prominent bones made me wonder how she was supposed to make me happier somehow. How could someone spread joy, or whatever she was supposed to do, if she wasn't joyful herself?

She trudged over to the chair across the room and plopped down into it. I would say she didn't look enthusiastic, but really, she didn't look _anything. _Her eyes – green, just like Alice had said – were blank and dull, and offset with dark circles under them. They were like the computer screen when you have a project to do in school: there should be something there, but there isn't. Just blankness, staring back at you, wanting to be filled with _something. _

"Hello, Audrey," Jenny greeted, but she didn't appear to hear it. Her blank eyes were fixed on the carpet. This must be kind of routine, because Jenny just went on with a smile on her face like nothing was wrong with the way Audrey was acting.

"Okay, everyone, let's pair up. You can choose your groups today. It looks like we have an even number again, so everyone will get a partner."

Everyone started getting up and moving around. No one moved toward Audrey, and she didn't stand. There was an empty chair beside her, and I was supposed to talk to her, so I went over and sat down.

"Audrey?" Hearing her name, she looked up from the floor and cast her stare to me, still void of any emotion. "I'm supposed to talk to you."

"You're Justin."

"How do you know?" She wasn't here when I introduced myself.

"Some girl."

"Oh. Okay." When I thought of what to say next, my mind drew a blank. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. "Talk to her" wasn't too specific. What do I talk to her _about? _"Um… what did she tell you?"

"That I would be happy, and that I would leave." When Alice had told me I was happier in the future, I felt a spark of hope, even though I hadn't wanted to, and what I wanted now was to try and make that happen. Audrey's eyes didn't change, neither with hope nor desire to try and make her life better. It was like she didn't care.

"Then what did you say?"

"That it didn't matter, because it wasn't true."

Unexplainable, irrational anger flared up in me. "So you're not at least going to _try _and get better? You're not going to hope that she's right?" My voice began to rise. "You're just going to _sit there _and do _nothing?_"

She nodded. She didn't even look at me when she did it. She just nodded to the floor, like she didn't even give a damn that I was talking to her.

"No. You're not. _You're not. _I won't let you."

She looked up at me then, as if she was startled. The dull shell of green that her eyes were seemed to crack and break. Pain was left behind, pain that I caused. Her eyes began to shine with tears. Oh God, I was going to make her cry. It was my fault that she was sad. Why was _everything _my fault?

With a swift agility that had been absent before, she jumped up from her chair and ran out of the room, her mahogany hair flying behind her. It made me freeze with shock before I growled to myself for being so stupid and walked out of the room after her, ignoring the staring pairs of eyes prodding at me.

When I was in the hall, I found it deserted. I didn't know everything in the building, but I did remember where my room was, and that there was a girl's hallway near that, so it would help to start from there. I hurried down the hall, feeling worse with every step. It was like the blank page again. I had gotten desperate, so I had just typed away without thinking, and it didn't turn out well. Now, I had to go back and fix all of the mistakes I made on the page.

When I found the right hallway, I realized that I had passed the girls' hall. I backtracked and went down the hall, looking for Audrey's name. When I found it, I knocked twice on the door. When there was no answer, I opened the door.

It took a second to spot her, because she was hunched in the corner, blocked from view at first by the door. She was crying. Her tears were like acid dripping onto my chest and making it burn. I didn't even know this girl, yet I made her cry within two minutes.

I slowly approached her. Her breaths were deep, like she was trying to pull herself back together. Her head was buried in her arms, and her knees were pulled up to her chest.

She looked up when I knelt down in front of her and placed a hand on her forearm. Her eyes were red from crying and still filled with a heartbreaking hurt. My words of apology clogged my throat and came out in sputters. "I – didn't – I'm sorry—"

She let her legs down and knelt until she was level with me. Then, she hugged me tightly. "Don't be," she said into my shoulder. Her forehead slid onto my shoulder so I could hear her words without pulling away. "No one… makes me do anything. They just kind of try to get through to me, or whatever, for a minute, but then just let me slide." She sniffed, then whispered brokenly, "I don't want to just _slide_. You know?"

I did know. I wouldn't be surprised if every depressed kid knew it. Hugging her tighter, I nodded. The weird thing was that hugging this stranger didn't feel awkward or strange. It was like we were linked by our tragedies – each unknown to the other, but linked all the same.

"No one tries to really help. They never really try. It just makes me feel unimportant, I guess. Like people don't try to help because you're not worth it."

I nodded again and laid my head on her shoulder. She was saying everything I felt, even if I hadn't been able to put those feelings into words in my own head.

We sat down after a minute, but didn't let go to each other. I asked her why she was here, what had made her so depressed, but she said, "Not yet." She asked me the same question, and I repeated her response. So, we sat in a silence that would have made me restless if I had spent it with anyone else.

In that silence, the glimmer of hope from before shined brighter. I couldn't say that I was happy. Not yet. But the future didn't look as dark and empty as it had before. The new light in Audrey's eyes kindled the fire of hope, and I had a feeling the flame could burn so much brighter with time.

**So, would it be okay if I stop putting everyone's names at the end of each chapter? Will anyone be super pissed if I stop?**

**Anyway, I read this one-shot and I MUST mention it, even though I read it awhile ago. The Angel From Hell by ZM4U is completely AWESOME. Totally blew me away, and you should check it out. She's written a lot of other great stuff, too, but I just wanted to say that The Angel from Hell is spectacular. **

**Thanks Scars for Blood for the beta-ing.**


	37. The Hero Dies in This One

**Don't take the title literally, I look at the lyrics of the songs I use for titles more than the actual titles of the songs. I don't know if anyone goes and listens to the songs, but the lyrics make sense with the chapter if the title doesn't. Thanks to my fabulous beta Scars for Blood for the song because I was too lazy to go find one that fit.**

Chapter 36: The Hero Dies in This One

JPOV

On Wednesday, I found myself back in Dr. Hetzer's office with Rosalie, Henry, Carlisle, and Esme. We had taken the time to greet each other and make sure everyone was acquainted. Carlisle and Esme seemed like nice people, people who would have taken care of Rosalie better than I could have hoped for.

We had all said our hellos so we sat and got down to business. Henry sat at the end, I was beside him, and Rose was on the other side in between Carlisle and Esme. Dr. Hetzer sat in his chair.

"Now, Jasper, the others have something to tell you."

With a confused expression, I glanced at everyone. Rosalie was biting her lip, trying to hide a smile. A grin formed on my own face. "Yeah?"

"Well…" Rosalie began slowly, but then finished quickly. "Carlisle and Esme want to adopt you!" A smile grew on her face as she spoke the last words.

I was shocked into speechlessness. All I could do was look in between everyone. "R-really?" I finally managed to say. I turned to Henry. "And you're okay with that? You really are?"

Henry nodded. "It would be best for you, I know it. That is, if you want to go. It's your choice."

"Well… well, yeah, I mean… yeah."

Rosalie squealed and half-tackled, half-hugged me. I laughed with the air that hadn't been knocked out of me. She pulled away and said, "I'm so glad you said yes." Then that look from Sunday came into her eyes. I still didn't know what it was, but now seemed like a good time to ask.

"Rosalie? What's wrong?" I didn't know what the feeling was that shone in her eyes, but I knew that something was wrong. The intuition was confirmed by the slight surprise and knowing that flitted across her face.

"Oh…" She took a breath and let it out in a nervous little laugh. "Um, well… It's just…" After another shuddering breath, she let out in a rush, "It's just that I feel guilty that I found a family so quickly and you had to suffer. The first day I saw you again, you looked so lost and broken, and I'm not, and it's not fair." She looked down at the floor.

"I… I didn't know you felt that way." I shifted my body to get her attention and to look at her straight. "But you don't have to feel guilty. Please, _don't. _I don't want you to have to feel like you had to suffer. I'm fine now. I'm happy."

She faintly smiled. "Okay. So you're really fine now?"

Alice came into my mind. "Yeah," I answered with a smile. "I am." After staring off into space for a moment, I blinked and said, "So, um, I brought this." I held up the notebook Dr. Hetzer had given me and handed it to him. "There's not much, really, but it's what I got."

"It's fine." He set the notebook aside on the small table. "So Jonathan hasn't been back?"

"No. But I haven't been too stressed or angry, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it."

He thought about it for a moment. "You did say that he would appear at random times, so hopefully not. So, in a week and a few days, you're free to go."

"In the mean time," Henry interjected, "we'll move your things – if that's okay, at least – and get the adoption worked out."

"Moving my things is fine," I replied. "And thanks," I added to everyone. "I really do appreciate everything that all of you have done for me."

They all nodded and said their welcomes. After that, we went through the session and talked about my improvements and how Rosalie did after we got separated. She said that she had went through a depression where no one could reach her until she moved to Forks and met Carlisle, Esme, and her friends. She said that Emmett and Alice had really helped, and then Rose shot me a look that I guess I was supposed to know the meaning of.

At first, Rosalie continued, she had hated Edward, and the feeling was mutual, but then Rosalie snapped one day and let her whole story loose. He was sympathetic, and they had formed a strange bond.

I was relieved that she didn't have to suffer in poor foster homes. It made me glad in a strange way that we were split up. I didn't want her to have ended up like I did, even if it meant being apart from her for so long. What mattered was that she was here now, and that I was going to leave the asylum to be with my remaining family now. I would build my life up again.

But then I thought of Alice, who, truthfully, may not leave for a long time to continue her life. I didn't want to leave just to come back and have her take a look at what she was missing. I could picture the look in her eyes and knew that I would never be able to take it. I wanted to leave so much, but it was poisoned with guilt of leaving someone so important behind. She was the reason I was better, after all.

If I was getting out, Alice was coming with me somehow. I would make sure that she would leave and be able to pick up her life where she left off.

She was here because of her dad, I thought. She was always saying that he was being unfair to her, which I agreed with. He would never listen to her, even though she's told him that her visions have helped people. All of her friends knew it and have seen it, but she couldn't get through to him.

I was still thinking it over when we all got up to leave. The adults went on ahead while Rosalie hung back to walk beside me.

"I know what you're thinking," she said, "but don't feel guilty about leaving her here. Alice is a tough girl, she'll make it through this."

"Well I want to help. I mean… I can't just do _nothing_, and I want to try something. I don't know if it will work though."

"Can I help?" she asked with a mix of curiosity and hope.

"Yeah, you should be there. Come with me." I turned back around in the hall and went back to Dr. Hetzer's room. Rosalie glanced at the adults, who were still walking down the hall and not paying attention to us. I knocked on the door and entered when he called me in.

"Sorry to bother you again, but can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Jasper, ask me anything."

"A friend got this once, and I don't know much about it, but could I have a pass out of here?"

"You're leaving in a week," he replied curiously. "I can probably get it for you, sure, but may I ask what you need it for?"

"I have to visit someone in Forks. It's something important. For a friend."


	38. You Be the Anchor, I'll Be the Wings

**My beta's cool :D**

Chapter 37: You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet On the Ground, I'll Be the Wings That Keep Your Heart in the Clouds

APOV

On Friday, I found myself back on Mrs. Steven's couch with her notebook perched on her knee and her pen in hand. She smiled at me, and I smiled politely back. I didn't totally, completely hate her or anything, but I wasn't going to act like this woman was my new best friend or anything.

"So, Alice, how have you been doing this past week?" she asked pleasantly. "Have you been trying to control your visions?"

My stomach twisted with nervousness about telling her my decision, but it's not like I can avoid it. "Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that."

Her smile didn't waver with my obvious unease. "Yes?"

"Um, well, I did try to block them out, I really did, but it made my head hurt and it was really hard and… well, I thought about it. I mean, I've had some visions in the past week, and I talked to the people that were in it to help –"

"Did you?" Mrs. Stevens interrupted. "I don't think that was wise. What if they got false hope with whatever you told them?"

"Well – wait, what do you mean by false hope? Are you saying that you don't think that my visions are true?"

She let out a laugh like I was silly for asking such a question. "Alice, you're seeing what you _want _to see. You say you are helping the subjects of your visions?"

"Well yeah, I mean, why would I keep this to myself? It's the right thing to do, right?"

"So you feel obligated to help them?"

"Yeah –"

"And how does helping them make you feel?"

I answered her through my thickening agitation. "Good, I guess, so –"

"And that is the trigger of your visions, Alice. You use the visions to help other people. It makes you feel good, important, so you search for a way to fuel the feeling."

"What, do you think that I'm making this all up for attention?" My anger was flaring up as I sat forward. I had at least thought that she had believed my visions were real. I didn't like her, but I thought a therapist was supposed to do their psycho-analyzing thing and understand their patient. Sure, I haven't been the most _cooperative_ patient, but wasn't she supposed to be prepared for reluctant teenagers?

"No, you're not making this up, I know that. At least, you're not making it up _intentionally. _The mind does strange things to twist life into our favor. Sometimes, it does what it has to for the person to get their desires."

I threw up my arms and made an exasperated face. "That's the _same thing_!"

"Alice," she continued calmly as if I hadn't spoken, "you don't want to be frustrated with me. I'm only trying to help you."

Was she _seriously _gonna use this corny therapy crap on me? "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I wanna be frustrated with you. And how is making me get rid of something good I can do helping?"

Mrs. Stevens put her notebook and pen down and folded her fingers together. "I don't think you fully understand –"

"_No,_" I argued, finally enraged enough for my anger to boil over. "_You're _the one who doesn't understand. My _dad's _the one who doesn't understand. You don't _understand _because you're all so fricking – close _minded_ that you don't even try! You just write it off as unnatural and say that something's wrong with ME! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" The anger made me shoot out of my seat and stand in front of her, panting madly from my rant.

"Alice, calm down," she said with more force but still not as much reaction as I would have thought. "Take a breath. It isn't your fault, I know that."

"Do you?" My arms flew up again in exasperation. "Well, what I wanted to tell you is that I'm not going to try and stop the visions anymore."

"Just because it's hard to do, doesn't mean you should quit."

"That's not _it_! I'm not _quitting, _I'm just _done. _Maybe you and my dad don't think this is a good thing, but I do. Other people do, too, even though some people like you and my dad – who I thought would understand – don't think so. My friends know that my visions are true, and I help them. It's not some desperate plea for attention or anything, I promise."

After that, I finally saw it: a crack in the serene mask, a frown instead of a smile, some emotion that marks her as an actual human being that's capable of more than plastic happiness. But as soon as it came, it disappeared again with a smile. "I know that people your age think that no one understands them because they're different."

I laughed without humor. "And you think I'm _not _different? And it's not like that. There's proof that this isn't just my imagination, _lots _of proof!"

"Your proof is the word of your friends."

"And people that I didn't even know believe me because I told them my vision about them that came true!"

"Alice, this is getting out of hand. If you just practice it –"

"You still don't GET IT!" I nearly shrieked. I almost stomped like a little kid. "I'm not practicing it anymore, I'm just going to do what _I _want. UNDERSTAND?" With that, I stomped to the door and left the room, slamming the door behind me.

"Hey," Jasper said as he walked up to me with a bright smile and sparkling eyes. He and Rosalie had come up to me and informed me excitedly that Jasper was getting adopted by Carlisle and Esme. I had squealed and hugged them both tightly (well, maybe my hug with Jasper was just a little longer and tighter, which Rosalie didn't miss).

Well, when Jasper stepped away to talk to Henry, Rosalie poked me in the stomach and said, "So, you're crushing on my brother? It's okay, I'm cool with it. You two are cute together."

"I don't think he feels that way, Rose."

She scoffed. "Seriously? Come on, he totally likes you."

I bit my lip and shot Jasper a look. "Ya think?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Alice," she sighed, "I think he does. But the sad thing is that he probably doesn't know it either." She sighed again, but it was colored with humor. "Crazy kids."

"Shut up," I replied lightheartedly. "Lightheartedly" seemed like an understatement; my heart was soaring and my chest was the only think keeping it from flying into the clouds. I didn't doubt Rosalie's sight when it came to anything romantic; at school she was always pointing out the chemistry between people and which couples would work out or not and why. Could she really be right about this, too? I couldn't anchor my heart down when it took off with hope at the thought.

When Rosalie and the others left, Jasper and I sat on a sofa in the common room. "So you had therapy this morning?" Jasper asked. "How did that do?"

My heart slowed from its frantic fluttering at the subject change. "It was _awful._" I told him everything that had been said between me and my therapist, ending with, "And then I completely screamed at her and stormed out like a five year old." I groaned and buried my head in my hands. "I'm _never _getting out of here."

Jasper tugged on my arm, making me move my hand away from my face. "Come on," he said, "don't do that." Guilt shone in his eyes where the happiness had been only moments before my depressing story. And Mrs. Stevens had called me a typical whiny teenager who only wanted attention. Sounds like a perfect call there. _Waaaay to go, Alice._

I sighed and sat up again. "I'm sorry," I apologized. Then, getting quicker as I talked, I added, "I know that you feel guilty because you're leaving and I'm not, but I really don't want you to feel that way because I don't like people feeling guilty, or bad, or anything like that because of me, because then _I _feel guilty – but the point is I'm sorry and please don't feel guilty."

Jasper laughed as I took a deep breath. "I'll keep that in mind, but just so you know, I'm going to do whatever I can to get you out as soon as possible." He gave me a level, deep, serious look that made my heart begin to flutter again. The look disappeared when he blinked a few times and smiled. "So…"

"So… You're getting adopted, I can't believe it!" I gasped suddenly. "Oh my gosh, that means you'll be going to our school! That's _awesome!_" I didn't add that I wouldn't be seeing him for a long time when he actually gets to our school because _I _still won't be there, but we both knew it, so there was really no good reason to go back to the depressing place of my situation.

Jasper looked suddenly nervous. "Another new school…" he muttered to himself. Then, louder, he said to me, "Are the people there… nice? I mean, will they hate me or anything?"

I laughed at the anxious look on his face. If only he knew what people were like at our school. "They'll like you just for the fact that you're a new kid," I chuckled. "New people are a rarity at our school that is practically celebrated with a parade. And don't worry about after your newbie fame wears off, because you're a good guy. People will love you."

The corner of Jasper's mouth quirked, but his eyes held something more. It was something dark and light at the same time. My guess was that his past and future was mingling in his mind to form some thoughts of hope. At least, I thought that it was hope.

"Whatcha thinkin'?" I asked.

He had been gazing down at the tiled floor absentmindedly, but looked up when I spoke to him. "Just… before. And now." He grinned at me, and I couldn't help but smile back at him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For now. For making it what it is now, and for what it will be. You made it happen." He slung an arm around my shoulders.

I couldn't help but feel good that I was the one he thought to have changed his life from the horror it once was to its current improvement. I had gotten him over his illness and going to a new home.

I closed my eyes and leaned into Jasper. He squeezed my shoulders tighter, and I sighed. With my eyes closed, there was no blurry warning I usually got when I had a vision. It was like I had suddenly fallen asleep and into a dream, but I knew that I was awake:

_Mrs. Stevens sat at her desk, looking over some papers with a frown. The, she took the papers and tapped them against the desk to straighten them into a neat, straight stack. She opened a desk drawer and took out a manila folder. There was a label on it, but I couldn't see what it read. Then, she bent down lower to reach into her purse and take out a Blackberry. She pressed some buttons – not numbers, so probably going into her contacts – and then waited while the phone rang. "_Hello?_" a man's voice said from the other end._

"_Hello, Richard," Mrs. Stevens replied. "How have you been?"_

"Well, Larissa,_" the man replied, "_I've had a lot of free time, what with the last onegoing… dormant, you could say. I take it this call is to give me something to work with?_"_

"_Yes, actually. Her name is Alice Brandon, room 42. I'll give Martin the notes and you can see what to make of them. The girl can see the future."_

"Really?_" Richard responded interestedly. "_In that case, I know just the thing. When I expect to see out new patient?_"_

"_We'll work it out," Mrs. Stevens replied, "but hopefully soon. The brat's becoming much too rebellious for my taste. I never liked her from the beginning, but now she's resisting the approved treatments. It just won't do." A cruel smile stretched across her lips. It wasn't the plastic, fake smile I was used to seeing, but this one was real and creepy._

"We'll talk later then. Goodbye._"_

"_Goodbye." Mrs. Stevens pressed the "end" button on the phone and dropped it back into her purse. She took the notes she had been looking at and slid them into the manila folder before opening a different drawer and putting it in. My last glimpse of the vision was her evil grin._

I shuddered and opened my eyes. Jasper's arm was still around my shoulders, but he was staring down at me. "I thought you fell asleep, but that would have been awful quick. Was it a vision?"

I straightened up, and he moved his arm so I could do so. The lack of warmth and the memory of the vision sent a chill through my body. "Something bad is going to happen to me," I said. My voice sounded high and scared like a little girl's. "And soon."


	39. Refuge From the Wreckage

Chapter 38: Refuge From the Wreckage

JPOV

I spent my time waiting for five-thirty with Alice. Not only did I want to spend time with Alice, but she really needed the comfort after her strange and muddled vision. Neither of us could decipher the meaning of what was said between Alice's therapist and whoever Richard was, but we easily agreed that it wasn't at all good.

Alice had told me every word said between them, and I didn't like it at all. She had said that she hadn't trusted Mrs. Stevens, but she didn't think that her therapist would say anything like she had heard. The betrayal that shone with fear in Alice's eyes almost pushed me over the edge. Five-thirty would come around soon enough. That was when I could try and do something.

But there had been other things, too. Who was "dormant"? What did Richard mean by Alice being a new patient? And Martin… the only Martin I could think of was the nice worker. What was his part in all of this?

Each thought chased another in an aggravating circle, all spinning with impatience as I repeatedly glanced at the clock. Alice caught on quick that something was bothering me, but she didn't ask. I was grateful – I didn't want to tell her the plan, just in case it didn't work out as I hoped it would.

When it was finally five o'clock, I stood up from the couch and stretched. "Where are you going?" Alice inquired. It wasn't too probing the way she asked, but she was plainly plenty curious.

"I've got something to do," I replied. I must have sounded evasive enough for Alice to get the hint that I wasn't going to tell her my plans willingly, but it was far from gone when I walked away to my room. When I got there, I got into the shower, where my thoughts ran around in my mind yet again. The only solution was to give it my best shot tonight.

I stepped out of the shower and got dressed in my street clothes – hopefully my jeans and black T-shirt wouldn't be a bad impression – and left my room. Alice had left the common room, so I was free to sit down in the common room wearing my street clothes without her questions.

A minute before five-thirty, Rosalie walked into the building, her black boots clacking against the floor. She strode in and caught sight of me on the couch. I stood and went over to her. "Hey," she greeted. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah, you just have to go up there with me." I felt a little childish, having to go up to the desk and get signed out so I could leave, but Rosalie did so without a look of the same thought as I had.

We went out the front doors, and Rose lead the way to the parking lot. She took her keys out of her purse and pressed a button. The headlights of a cherry red, incredibly fast-looking car winked as the doors unlocked.

"Wow," I managed to say.

"Yeah," she said dreamily as she stroked the glossy hood of the car as she passed to get to the driver's door. "Carlisle and Esme have a lot of money, what with Carlisle being a doctor and Esme an awesome interior decorator. I wanted to use the money Mom and Dad left us, but Carlisle and Esme insisted that it was a gift."

Mom and Dad had left us both a large sum of money in the bank. Foster parents, of course, had tried to get it, but the account information to access the money was locked away in a safety deposit box that only Rosalie and I had keys to. I wasn't sure if Rosalie had spent any of it, but I hadn't yet.

We got into the car, where I familiarized myself with the luxurious leather seat. It was the nicest car I had ever been in. And also, I learned as Rosalie zoomed out of the parking lot, the fastest. Once I got over the fear of crashing, the adrenaline kicked in, and I found myself enjoying the speed. It was a good thing Rosalie was an excellent driver and her car had good brakes.

As we got near Forks, the windows began to blur from gray and brown to the green of thick vegetation you didn't find in the city. When we got into town, she slowed down to a reasonable speed. We went through town to the other side, and then she pulled into a long driveway. At the end of it sat a robin-blue two-story house with white shutters and door. A flower bed with different colors of flower blooming ringed the house.

"Wow," I said. "So this is Alice's house?"

"Yup," Rosalie answered. She parked the car at the end of the driveway in front of one of the garage doors. She unbuckled her seatbelt. "Ready?"

"I guess so." I unbuckled my seatbelt and we both got out of the car. The late November air bit at my exposed skin, but I didn't have a coat with me when I first went to the asylum. I would have to get one when we got to Carlisle and Esme's house later.

Rosalie rang the doorbell. Footsteps could be heard on the other side, and Cynthia opened the door. "Hey, Rosalie!" She caught sight of me beside her. "Oh, hey Jasper."

"Hello."

Cynthia stepped to the side so we could enter the house. Rosalie took her coat off and hung it on a coat rack in the corner.

"Cynthia, who's at the door?" Alice's mom called from somewhere in the house.

"Rosalie and Jasper," Cynthia replied.

Alice's mother came into the small foyer area. "Oh, hello," she greeted with a smile. "What brings you two here?"

"Hi, Loraine," Rosalie said with a smile. "We'd like to talk to you and Michael, if you don't mind."

Loraine looked like she knew what this was about before we had even said anything specific on the subject. "Of course. Michael?"

Michael came into the room, taking off his red tie as he did so. When he saw Rosalie, his expression became tight. "Rosalie," he greeted curtly. "And who is this?"

"Jasper, sir," I replied, extending a hand. "Jasper Hale."

Suspiciously, he took my hand and gave it a shake. He reminded me of numerous foster dads I've had. They all seemed to respond well to good manners.

"They would like to speak to us," Loraine filled him in. He got the same knowing look as his wife did, but he nodded with a grunt. "This way," she said as she led us into the dining room. We all took a seat at the table, me and Rosalie on one side while Loraine and Michael were seated on the other.

"So," Rosalie began, "you probably already know why we're here."

"You can't change my mind," Michael said stubbornly. "She's staying until the visions are gone."

"But they're not a problem," Rosalie fought. "They make her special. They help people."

"She was special just the way she was before. What she can do –"

"Is a _gift_," Rosalie finished heatedly.

They glared each other down. After a minute, I felt that the discussion was taking a downward spiral that we couldn't afford.

"Sir," I cut in softly. He shifted his cold stare to me, but I kept my voice calm and cool as I stared him in the eye. "A few weeks ago, I was some foster kid. I didn't have a real family, and my only sister was out there somewhere. She could have been dead, for all I knew. Then I got sick and went to the hospital. I met Alice there. She was the reason I got to see my sister again, and I got better. I'm leaving the asylum in about a week because of her."

Michael's eyes lost their heat and took on calculation. "Other people were helped, too, because of Alice. What Rosalie said is true. It's a gift your daughter has, not a sickness or burden. So would you please consider letting her leave?"

I might have just been hopeful, but he could have been wavering. "Yes," Loraine answered for her husband, "he'll think about it."

"Thank you," Rosalie said before standing up. "Come on, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme are expecting us back soon."

"Alright." I stood up, too, and pushed my chair back in. "Thank you for your time."

Michael nodded distractedly, and Loraine smiled. "Of course. Thank you for coming." And she really did look happy that we came. She must have been depending on Michael as much as we were to make the decision of whether or not Alice leaves or not.

We got back into Rosalie's car. The heat blasting from the vents let me relax from the cold, but not from the fact that I had to wait to know what Alice's father would say. Alice had said something bad was going to happen, and soon. The sooner she got to leave, the better. I couldn't imagine what her therapist and that Richard had planned for her.

Rosalie found that it was safe to speed again. We got to another, longer, winding driveway in about two minutes. I would have missed it if Rose hadn't slowed and pulled into it. Going so slowly, it took a minute to get to the end.

A huge three-story house stood at the end of the driveway. It was white, with a wrap-around porch and flowers grown along each side of the sidewalk leading up to the steps. Alice's house was nice, but this one had to be the nicest I've ever seen. It reminded me of the old house, where Rosalie and my parents and I lived before everything happened. It wasn't a painful reminder. It just made the house feel more like somewhere I could imagine being home.

Rosalie sighed, unbuckled, and leaned back to stare at the house through the windshield. "Reminds you of home," she murmured wistfully, "doesn't it?"

"But not in a bad way. For me, at least."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's like… home." After staring at the house, she said, "Well, we should go inside."

"Yeah." I unbuckled, and we both got out of the car. I followed her to the front door. She opened it and walked in, calling, "We're here!"

I heard movement from upstairs and then footsteps on the stairs. Esme descended and smiled when she caught sight of us. "Hello!"

"Hey, Esme."

"There's cookies on the table." Esme went into the kitchen while Rosalie and I sat at the table. The smell of warm, fresh-baked cookies wafted throughout the whole room and made my mouth water. Esme laid two glasses of milk in front of us. 'So how did it go?"

More footsteps sounded from the stairs – two sets this time. Edward and Carlisle came into the kitchen. Carlisle planted a kiss on Esme's cheek from behind before sitting down at the end chair. Edward sat beside Rosalie, and Esme went back to get two more glasses of milk.

Rosalie sighed at Esme's question. "We think Alice's dad will think about it. Jasper did most of the talking to get him to think about it."

I shrugged, but Esme came over, set the milk down, and shot me a proud smile. A mother's smile, even though I wasn't her son. Not yet, at least. "You must have a way with words then," Carlisle praised. "Michael can be a stubborn man. It would take a strong argument to get him to even consider changing his mind once it's made up."

"Well, hopefully what I said was good enough."

Edward was looking at me with a contemplative expression that I couldn't make sense of. When he noticed my curiosity, he looked away and grabbed a cookie.

"I'm sure you got through to him," Carlisle reassured. I thanked him with a hopeful smile, and he grinned back. Almost like he would to a son, I thought. He didn't even know what I had said, yet he had total confidence that I had done a good job. It made my throat tight, so I took a drink of milk.

We talked a bit more after that, but then Esme abruptly said, "Oh, Jasper, I need you to come look at something."

Confused, I followed her upstairs. We went from the second to the third floor and stopped in front of the second door on the right. "I want your honest opinion of your room. I tried to make it like the one at Henry's, but tell me if you don't like it so I can make the right changes."

"My… my room?"

Esme smiled and opened the door. We walked onto thick brown carpet, and I looked around the room. The walls were oceanic blue and matched the blanket on the bed and the curtains that hung on the large windows. The bed was against the left wall, and the dresser was against the right wall in between two doors.

"I'll let you add personal things once you actually move in, and it's not done, of course, but do you like it so far?"

I looked at Esme. She actually seemed _worried _that I wouldn't _like it. _"Well _yeah _I like it, it's great!"

She breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you like it. Oh, there's the closet," she explained as she pointed to the farther door, "and that's your bathroom."

"_My _bathroom? Don't other people use it?"

"Nope, it's all yours."

"Whoa…" I've never had my own bathroom before.

"Your clothes are already in the closet."

"Oh, I'd better grab a coat." I opened the closet door and was as shocked as when I walked into the bedroom. The closet was a walk-in, with long shelves and rods to hang clothes. My T-shirts and jeans were folded on shelves, and my nicer clothes was hung up neatly. I didn't even think I would have enough clothes to fill even close to half of the closet.

I snapped out of my surprise and grabbed my coat. I closed the door and followed Esme back downstairs. When we got back to the kitchen, Rosalie asked, "We should probably get you back."

I sighed. "Yeah, probably." I thanked Esme for the cookies and the room before Rosalie and I left. Before we left, Esme hugged me and said, "We can't wait to have you here."

As we went back to the hospital, I stared out the window and thought of it all. In a few weeks, I would have a home again. I would go to a regular school and maybe it would work out like Alice said. And maybe she would even be there after a few weeks. I would never have imagined that this would happen. But now I would have a home. I would have a family. And hopefully, I would have Alice.

** Scars for Blood, you paranoid little beta bunny you. The editing didn't suck.**


	40. Getting Away With Murder

Chapter 39: Getting Away With Murder

Jarrett POV

I tugged at my tie. I hated dressing up for anything, and my father's court case didn't really help the knots in my stomach loosen or the burning temperature only I could feel cool down. Hopefully, I would get all of the nervousness out now and be able to act cool when Tim came out. I didn't want him to see me sweat.

Mom turned around. She was sitting beside our lawyer. I guess, being eighteen now, I could have been up there, but I really didn't want to handle it. "Stop fidgeting," Mom ordered. "And fix your tie." She didn't say it sharply; she was too tired to sound anything but, well, tired. I didn't like that she was so tired, but I guess it was better than when she found out her loving husband was actually a serial killer.

I had called her from the police station, telling her to come down. I didn't tell her why, not on the phone. I didn't want to be the one to break the news. So she came down with the girls, but of course, they were watched by a friendly woman while Mom and I sat in a room. The officer told her that Tim had been killing people for the last nine years. I had told the officer the whole story, so he was able to inform Mom that I had been right about Tim and all of the details following.

At first, she took in the story blankly, with no emotion crossing her face or eyes. Once the officer was silent, Mom seemed to snap out of the trance and let herself feel so many things from intense shock to betrayal and end with a sadness that made her shake with sobs. She had totally broken down and hid her head in her arms on the table. I didn't know whether to comfort her or keep my distance, so I went with distance. She didn't seem to mind it.

After she was all cried out, she wiped her eyes with a tissue from her coat pocket. Mom didn't ask to see the evidence that the police officer told her about briefly. I didn't think I could take seeing it, either. All of those people were slaughtered, I knew, but to put a name and face to the fact, to see just how far the sickness had gotten with Tim – it would have been even more horrifying. I didn't need Mom holding the same horror in her head, too.

Mom pulled it together to go and get the girls. They didn't ask any questions, which helped us both out. I guess they were pretty intuitive for five-year-olds. We took the silent car ride back home. "Home" had become somewhat of an empty word for me, and when we walked into the house, I could see that maybe Mom had a little of the same feeling.

Questions thickened with the tension in the air, but Mom didn't voice them. They were probably questions like _How did this happen? _Or _What went wrong? How could I have not known?_

I didn't have any answers.

The cops found Tim two days later. After a high-speed chase that didn't last long on the account of Tim's little remaining gas in the tank, they got him into a police car and off to jail where he would stay until court. The chase had been on a back road, so there wasn't publicity on that, but a chunk of the interview with me and the police officer was shown, along with some other footage. I knew that because they ran it by me what they were gonna show. I hadn't watched it.

There had finally been a scheduled court case. And there we were, in the courtroom, now staring at the door as Tim and his lawyer came in.

My cool, blank mode kicked in. I would not show this man fear. I would not show him hurt or betrayal. He deserved to think that I didn't care about his tight fate that he would never be able to wriggle out of, even though that fate would most likely be the death penalty.

But just because I didn't show it doesn't mean I didn't care.

Truthfully, the big reason I had hated him so much was to avoid those feelings of betrayal and hurt. It was better to act like I didn't care. I would also be an idiot to say that I wasn't afraid, but that was more rational and therefore okay to be leaked. But to show that I still loved my father would be unbearable. I had been hurt when he didn't stop because it was like he wouldn't give up this sick fetish for his family. The power had corrupted him, and he put it over the people he loved. Whenever I looked into his eyes that seemed full of warm feelings, I always wondered if it was real love or was part of a power buzz.

Tim made his way to the table he was assigned to sit at. He didn't look like he was regretting anything. He didn't even look _scared. _He just sat down in his nice suit and folded his hands on top of the table. Maybe he was faking it, too. Maybe he took the time in prison to think about all of the wrong he's done, all of the lives he's destroyed single-handedly, all of the people he's hurt, and maybe he felt some remorse for his actions.

Somehow, I doubted it.

We were told to rise for Judge George Stambler, and the hearing began. Tim had pleaded guilty. I think I would have lost it and started shouting at him if he had said he wasn't guilty.

I didn't pay much attention to the proceedings. I already knew how it would turn out. So, I found myself thinking about the families of Tim's victims. They had probably had hope that their family member would come home, but all they would get is a phone call, crushing those hopes. Some people might just be getting their suspicions confirmed that they were dead, but it still must hurt. Hope is something that, if you cling to it, it ends up clinging to you when you want to let it go. I had hoped that Tim might give up his unhealthy obsession and be my father again. This court case was my hope being crushed, and the claws of that hope bit into my heart.

I zoned in to hear the judge formally proclaim that Tim is sentenced to the rest of his life in prison before he gets the chair. Then, we left.

Mom waited until we were in the car again to cry. I just looked away – I couldn't stand seeing her cry – and drove us home. I parked in the garage, turned the engine off, and leaned back.

As Mom wiped her eyes, she said, "I should have never sent you away. I'm so sorry I didn't believe you."

I looked at her and shook my head. "No. You couldn't have known. The place was checked out, and having an insane son must have been easier to believe than having a murderous husband. It's his fault. He had you believe it was the right thing to do."

She looked down at her knotted hands and sniffed. "I know," she whispered. She took a deep breath before opening the car door. I followed her into the house.

A neighbor was watching Ashley and Annabelle. She was a kind old lady and turned down payment when Mom tried to give it to her.

The girls were asleep on the couch. Oh god, what were we going to tell them? They would ask why their dad wasn't there, and we couldn't just tell them that he had to go to prison because he killed people. When they were older, they could know the entire truth, but his absence needed some kind of explanation. Hopefully Mom would come up with something.

Bad sleep the night before and getting up early today made me go to bed for a nap. I still had nightmares, but not ones that were guilt-ridden. It's not like they still didn't scare the crap out of me still, but at least I didn't feel like I was killing people by keeping information to myself anymore. Too bad I was still haunted by Tim.

All of my nightmares now consisted of Tim somehow killing me slowly and painfully. It was just a bit unsettling when I woke up in cold sweat, panting for breath, but what could I really do about it?

_Confront it, _I remember my old therapist saying. _The only way to heal is to take all of the wounds and _then _heal, not take one, heal a little, and then get it cut open again by another wound. I think you can handle it and be able to move on. _Thinking back on that with everything else that's happened, I don't think I could take it all.

I stayed in bed for a while, trying to sleep, but it never came after a nightmare. Maybe my brain could only take one nightmare per session of sleep. Maybe I really was dying and my brain was damaged. Maybe I was still just crazy. Right now, I was just fricking tired.

Seeing as I would get no more sleep, I got back out of bed. I felt really lazy with it being three in the afternoon, but I didn't really care at the moment. With how my life was going right now, I deserved a little bit of afternoon sleep. It didn't mean I got it, but I still deserved to at least try.

Mom wasn't to be found downstairs, and neither were the twins. As I went to the kitchen to get something to eat, I couldn't help but stare at the door. Police had come and cleaned it out, but they couldn't do the same with the memories I had of the hellish place.

I found myself taking a step towards the door. Then another. Then I was in front of the door with my hand on the knob. I wanted this all to go away. I wanted to get rid of this baggage, these nightmares, but I couldn't bring myself to turn the knob and do it.

Eventually, I came to my senses and left the door closed. I would face my fears eventually. Just not quite yet.


	41. The Only Hope for Me Is You

Chapter 40: The Only Hope for Me Is You

APOV

It had been almost a week since I had had that vision with Mrs. Stevens. Nothing bad has happened, but each day with nothing occurring made me even more nervous than before. _It has to be coming soon, _I thought to myself, _whatever it is._

When I was with Jasper, I didn't worry nearly as much than when he wasn't there. I didn't know why, but he just had this calming aura that kept me composed.

Even sitting with Jasper on the couch on Thursday, I was still jittery by the fact that I would have to go to therapy tomorrow and face Mrs. Stevens. What if that was where she was planning on doing whatever her plan exactly was? What if that Richard guy was there? I didn't want to go "dormant" like that other kid he mentioned on the phone in the vision. Well, at least he didn't say they were dead or something, but what did "dormant" exactly mean? Would that happen to me?

Even though the session had me crazy anxious, I was momentarily distracted by the person who walked through the door.

"Jarrett! What are you doing here?"

Jarrett turned the corner with a grin on his face. After hearing my question, his smile turned from happy to sarcastic. "I came for the free food, _obviously. _Not that I have any friends to visit or anything."

Jasper and I both stood up. "Shut up," I replied playfully with a hug.

"Hey," Jasper said.

"Hey, man, what's up?" Jarrett replied with a slap on the back, because I guess that hitting each other was the only way guys could say hello.

"Not much," Jasper answered. "Doesn't change much around here."

"Uh-huh."

We all sat down with me in between Jarrett and Jasper. "So what's up with you?" I asked Jarrett.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's been rough, with… everything. Had to go to court on Sunday."

"How'd it go?" I knew it couldn't have been good.

"Prison until he gets the chair," Jarrett replied blankly.

"Are you okay?"

He sighed again. "I don't know. Part of me is happy that he's in prison, you know because everyone is safe, the truth is out, and I got to go home. But then again, he's my _dad_… He had been a good father before, and that's what I remember most about him. And then I think about my mom and sisters…"

He finished the thought by resting his head in his hands for a minute before running a hand through his hair and sighing. He hadn't looked so stressed when he had come through the door, but now he looked a lot older.

As quick as the lines etched on his face came, they smoothed out, and the pain was hidden in his eyes. "But we're getting through it," he summed up lightly. "How's it been going here?"

"Jasper's leaving in a couple days," I announced. I knew he probably wouldn't just because I was there. The worrying look he gave me proved that, but I just smiled at him to tell him it was okay.

"Awesome," Jarrett congratulated. "Wait, but – not you, Alice?"

When I shook my head, Jarrett did the same, but his action was angry. "God, Mrs. Stevens is a _bitch_. What crap did she tell you that your 'problem' is?"

"She said that my mind is making up my visions, or whatever, so I can tell the people in them and make myself _feel good. _She thinks they're all fake and just for attention." Then I told him about the vision I had about her and my worries about it.

"That doesn't sound good," he said, looking down at the couch in thought. "Do you know what it means?"

"No," I replied, "but it freaks me out. What am I going to do, just wait for something bad to happen?"

Jarrett didn't have an answer, so I remained just as clueless as before. Was that all I could do, sit and wait?

"Alice," Jasper said, "I talked to your dad last Friday."

Last Friday? That had been something Jasper had left out. "What? Why?"

"Me and Rosalie tried to convince him to let you go back home," he explained. "I think we had him considering it, but I guess he didn't give anyone a final answer. Maybe you should call him."

"Oh, okay. Thanks, Jazz."

He smiled widely. "No problem."

"But where am I going to call him at? I can't really go to Mrs. Stevens, can I?"

"Better make sure that she doesn't think something's going on with you," Jarrett advised. "It might be best to make sure she doesn't know that you found something out, so maybe you _should _go to her."

"Well, I guess it's worth a try." I glanced at the clock. "It's ten 'til eleven now; she'll probably be seeing someone now. I'll wait until the hour's up."

We talked about things other than anything to do with supposed danger around here or Jarrett's deal and made fun of some celebrity news playing on TV. When the clock struck eleven, I got up and walked briskly down the hall to Mrs. Stevens' room.

As I went down the hall, a door opened to a different therapist's room. "Hey, Alice!"

"Hey, Serena! How's it going?"

Serena walked with me towards Mrs. Stevens room. "Good, actually. My therapist says that I'll be able to leave soon, if I stay as cooperative. I didn't have the chance to thank you, by the way."

"No problem, glad to help." That made me think of what Mrs. Stevens said. I pushed it aside in my head. My visions were _not _fake or just for attention.

"So where ya going?" Serena asked.

"I have to make a phone call, so I'm going to ask my therapist if I can use her phone." Up ahead, the door opened, and a boy walked out of the room. I couldn't tell, but I think it was Mrs. Stevens' room. "I'd better hurry up and use it before someone else has to see her."

"Okay. Um, do you mind if I come with you? I don't really want to go back to my room…"

"Yeah, sure. I don't think it'll take long." We had arrived at Mrs. Stevens' door. I knocked and opened the door when she told me to come in. Serena waited outside the door, leaning against the wall with a foot propped up on it.

"Uh, hi, sorry to bother you," I said when she looked up. My stomach had clenched a little in fear when I saw her and put my earlier questions about what she was planning into motion.

"It's fine. I'm here to help." She set aside whatever she was doing and gave her full attention to me. "What do you need?"

"I was wondering if I could call my dad quickly before your next patient comes."

"If you don't mind me asking, what do you have to talk to him about?"

"Uh…" I was debating on whether or not a lie would be better, but thinking about it gave too big of a pause to make a lie work well. "I have to ask him something about what my friends asked him about."

"And what was that?" Her question had come out less caring and more forceful than the first one had.

Couldn't lie now. "It was about when I might be leaving," I replied with my chin tilted up a fraction more in confidence.

Before she could respond, a girl walked into the room. Mrs. Stevens looked relieved. "I'm sorry, I have to see someone," she replied somewhat smugly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alice."

My anger flared. She thought she won this little battle? And what was so wrong about me using the fricking phone, anyway? _Ha ha, no call for you! I have supreme power, silly child! _Ugh, get over yourself, woman.

"Okay. Buh-bye, then." I gave her a big smile and waved before leaving the room. She looked a bit confused. _Good. _

Serena looked over when I came back out into the hall. I rolled my eyes as I shut the door and said, "Ugh, I can't _stand _her. I didn't get to call my dad because someone came in, and she was all smug about it. Good win for you, Stevens."

"God, I hate that." She pushed away from the wall, and we went back down the hall towards the common room. "So where are ya gonna call your dad at?"

I sighed. "Maybe the front desk will let me use the phone. Unless it's a nasty girl that works there sometimes, she'll probably make some excuse about why I can't use it."

When we got back to the common room, Jarrett and Jasper were talking about something. Jarrett said, "Whatever, man," before turning to us. He had a mischievous look on his face, and Jasper's face was a little red. I'm not sure I wanted to know their conversation by the look on Jarrett's face.

"So what'd he say?" Jasper asked as I sat down. Serena waved Jarrett away casually, and he sat on the armrest of the sofa with a confused look. Right, he hadn't met her yet.

"Oh, that's Serena. Serena, Jarrett." Serena waved and said hi that was more out of manners than interest, and Jarrett said hello with what seemed like more than his usual interest. Interesting.

"But I didn't get to make the call," I huffed. "Someone came in for a session, but I didn't think she would have let me anyway." I looked over at the desk and groaned. "And that one girl who hates me is up there." She saw me looking at her and glared.

Jasper thought for a second. "Maybe Dr. Hetzer will let you use his phone," he suggested. "Do you want to try at noon?"

"Sure," I said, relieved that I didn't have to talk to the girl at the desk. "Thanks."

I looked away from Jarrett and Serena. It felt like they were staring.

For the next hour, we learned more about Serena for something to talk about. I didn't know how Jarrett would react to the witch thing, but he seemed impressed. She seemed to warm up to him a little. When it was five minutes until noon, I stood up. "Jazz… will you come with me?"

"Yeah," he replied with a smile as he stood up. I didn't really want to talk to Jasper's therapist without him there.

We started down the hall silently at first, but then Jasper looked over at me. "Nervous?"

I sighed. "A little. What if he says no? I mean, I know that he has before, but if you had gotten through to him and he _still _says no…"

"Hey, it'll be okay. Whatever happens, it'll be okay."

I took a calming breath and nodded. "It'll be okay," I repeated with a small smile and a nod. _It'll be okay._

We only paused for a second before someone opened Dr. Hetzer's door. A boy jumped a little at seeing us unexpectedly, but shook it off and passed us. Jasper led the way into the room.

Dr. Hetzer looked up and smiled at our arrival. "Hello Jasper, Alice. What's up?"

"Alice was wondering if she could use your phone," Jasper said. "She asked Mrs. Stevens, but she was… busy."

He nodded, kind of like he understood what Jasper was talking about when he said "busy" the way he did. It made me like Jazz's therapist a bit more. "Yeah, if it will only take a few minutes. I don't think my next patient will mind it if the session is stalled a few minutes."

"I'll try to be as quick as possible, thanks." He smiled and moved over to his leather chair with a notepad, and Jasper leaned against the front of Dr. Hetzer's desk to wait.

I dialed my dad's work number and waited while it rang. "Dennis Brandon," he answered.

"Dad?"

"Oh, hello, Alice," he said. It sounded like he had tried to sound pleasant, but was a bit nervous. That didn't exactly help my anxiety.

"Jasper said that he talked to you and asked you about me leaving," I explained cautiously. "You haven't given an answer."

"What?" His own unease was gone and replaced with one that was perplexed. "I had called your therapist to get her opinion on the matter. I was going to let you come home, but she said that that wouldn't be a good idea. I'm sorry, Alice, but I have to go with the professional on this. I'm sure she knows what's best for you. I'm sorry, Alice."

"It's fine, Dad," I answered stiffly. "Not your fault. I'll – talk to you later."

"Okay, sweetie. Goodbye."

I hung up the phone, trying to fully understand what I had just been told. "Alice?" Jasper asked worriedly. He put a hand on my arm. The touch seemed to let the anger burn out the numbness of incomprehension.

"Thank you," I shot at Dr. Hetzer as I stomped out of the room with Jasper following. I hadn't even noticed that Dr. Hetzer's next patient had been in the room.

"Alice, what's going on?" Jasper asked as he kept up with my mad stride.

"She totally _sabotaged _my chance of getting out of here," I seethed. "He was going to let me out, but then he asked for her fricking opinion. She's planning something and doesn't want me to leave for it."

I went right passed the common room, ignoring Jarrett and Serena's questioning glances, and headed up the hall to my room. "And the thing is that I'm so scared out of my mind that I don't think I can keep it together and act like I don't know what's going on when I face her tomorrow. I… just… don't – know!"

Jasper had followed me o my room and shut the door. Without really thinking, I threw my arms around him in a hug and started to sob. I was a bit embarrassed about my breakdown, but quickly didn't care when he hugged me back firmly but gently at the same time. He didn't seem weirded out by it, so I just kept on crying.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he murmured softly to comfort me. "I'll keep you safe, I promise you. We'll get through this."

I clung onto him tighter, as well as his promise. We would be okay.


	42. Chapter 42

**Alice's POV again, lovelies.**

Chapter 41: Anywhere But Here

APOV

My hands were balled into fists at my sides and my stomach was in knots that wouldn't loosen with deep breaths, but I hoped that at least my face was smooth. Being back in Mrs. Stevens' office had me riled up, but I was going to do my best to not let it show.

We went through the same weekly questions. My voice sounded calm enough to me, but I didn't know if there was something she could hear that I couldn't. I didn't tell her about the phone call to my dad yet, which made me even more ready to burst. I wanted to scream in her face that she didn't know what she was talking about and that I knew what she was planning, but I bit my tongue.

She didn't comment on my tension if it showed, but she did make her thoughts on other matters known. "I think it would be in your best interest to listen to me. I'm only trying to help you. Cooperating is the best answer." Blah blah blah. She might as well have said, "I'm right, you're wrong, I am almighty, _deal with it._"

She went on like this, telling me what I was doing wrong with my "treatment." Near the end of the hour, I couldn't take it anymore. "Why did you tell him I should stay?" I blurted.

Her expression was confused, like she just had no idea what I was talking about. "Tell who what?"

"Why," I annunciated slowly like I would a stupid person, "did you tell my dad that it would be better if I stayed?"

"Because that is how I feel," she replied coolly. "I still believe that I can help you get better."

"First of all, need I remind you that _there is nothing wrong with me. _Second, your beliefs must be different from mine, then, because I don't think you're helping me at all." I crossed my arms over my chest, my hands still in finger-aching fists. Now they were balled up because I wanted to punch her, not because of nerves. What could she really do to me, anyway? She couldn't keep me here forever if I wasn't 'getting better.'"

"Alice, the first step to getting help is admitting that you _need _it and to _accept _it. That's why it might seem that I'm not helping you. If you're not open to treatment, then you cannot be treated."

"Okay, this isn't as simple as the 'the first step is admitting you have a problem' crap like in AA. There's gotta be something more complicated than _that. _I don't know how I'm supposed to get better if you keep saying that I'm wrong and you're right all the time."

"Alice," she said, her voice obviously straining to stay calm, "I think you're forgetting who has the degree here. I _know _what I'm talking about, and you don't."

"Just because some college passed you and gave you a piece of paper doesn't mean you know everything. Just because you're an _adult _doesn't mean you know everything. It's healthy to admit you're wrong once in a while." I finished the last sentence with a smile.

Her frown tightened in anger. "I know that you're countering my help because you want attention, but"

"Whoa, whoa," I cut her off heatedly. "Really? Again with the attention thing? Seriously, that's not why I'm doing _anything. _But I guess you know me better than I do myself, huh?"

"That's not what I'm saying," she countered. "Alice, listen to me. In college, I learned about situations with people your age just like this…"

But I didn't listen to the rest of whatever she was saying. My vision started to get cloudy. I tried blinking it away, even though I knew it wouldn't work.

_Someone else was sitting on the same couch I was on now. Mrs. Stevens was behind her desk, saying, "One minute please, I have to make a call." The boy on the couch nodded lazily, and Mrs. Stevens took her cell phone from her desk. She scrolled through the contacts and clicked one. _

"Hello?" _a man's voice said from the other end of the line._

"_Hello, Richard. I just wanted to say that maybe this weekend would be a good… opportunity."_

"With the new patient? If you think so, then I'll work it out."

"_I have to go now. Goodbye."_

"Goodbye."

_Mrs. Stevens hung up her cell phone, slipped it back into a drawer, and went over to talk to her next patient._

"Alice? Alice, are you listening?" Mrs. Stevens' annoyed voice cut through my after-vision haze. I blinked back into awareness.

"Uh… are we done?" My stomach was starting to flip again. Whatever she and that guy Richard were planning, it would be this weekend.

"I guess so," she said shortly. "Goodbye."

"Bye," I replied shakily before standing. I barely restrained myself from bolting from the room, but couldn't just walk when I made it out. I almost knocked down the kid from my vision that was going in for a session, but I muttered a "sorry" and kept going. I didn't miss his startled and wary look as he entered the office, though, like he was saying, '_what happened in there?'_

The worker girl yelled at me for running through the halls, which would have made me feel like a third grader if I weren't so terrified.

Jasper was in the common room when I ran in. He had shot up from the couch so he could catch me when I nearly tackled him with a hug and tried not to bawl.

"Alice, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly while stroking my hair. It steadied my breathing, having him here, but I was still freaking out. "Alice, please."

"Not – here." I pulled away and tugged on his sleeve. We went back to my room so the public wouldn't have to see my meltdown. Mrs. Stevens would probably think I was doing it for _attention _and that thought sent me into near hysterics again.

Jasper hugged me close again. "Alice, tell me what's wrong. Please."

I couldn't hold back the tears this time. "Something's – gonna – happen – this weekend. I'm – just so – scared!" I choked out in between sobs. "What do – I do?"

I felt his chin on the top of my head, which made me feel like he was holding me together. "We'll just have to tell someone, that's all," he replied. "Maybe we can get you a new therapist?"

_Duh. _Get another therapist? That seemed way too obvious now that he said it. "That's a good idea," I said, now breathing normally.

"Do you want to go talk to my therapist?" he asked, still stroking my hair comfortingly.

I nodded into his chest. Jazz's therapist seems really nice, and Jasper didn't seem to have a problem with him. He seemed much more trustworthy than Mrs. Stevens was. Hopefully, I didn't have to fear for… what, my life? She wouldn't _kill _me, surely, but there was still a stupid worry in the back of my mind. It sounded like the dumbest thing ever, but the worry wouldn't go away.

Well, she was going to do _something, _and I didn't want to find out what. The look on her face and in her voice in my first vision scared the crap out of me. And that Richard guy? He didn't sound any better.

"Okay, we'll go once the hour's up. It'll be okay."

When the hour passed and I knew a little of what I was going to say to explain to Dr. Hetzer why I wanted to switch therapists, Jasper and I headed to his office. He greeted us with a smile from behind his desk when we entered. "What can I do for you both?"

"Um, I kinda wanted to talk to you about something. Do you have the time, or is there a better time to come back?"

"I have a free hour, actually," Dr. Hetzer replied.

We went closer to his desk, and I shifted from one foot to the other nervously. "Well, I was wondering if I could… switch therapists?"

"May I ask why?" Dr. Hetzer asked. It wasn't harsh in that you'd-better-have-a-good-reason-for-this-or-no-way voice. Just curious.

"Well, I don't think I'm really… getting anywhere with Mrs. Stevens. I don't think she likes me very much."

"I see. And was there someone in mind who you wanted to switch to?"

"Um, I don't really know any other therapists here, but I don't think I have much of a preference. Just someone… different?"

"Truthfully, Alice, it might be hard to get you someone else. There's not many times when a new therapist is requested. I'll see what I can do…" He didn't sound hopeful. My heart sank. So I was stuck with that awful woman?

"Okay, well, if I can't switch, thanks anyway."

Dr. Hetzer nodded, and we left his office. When I sighed, Jasper put an arm around my shoulders. "He'll try, darlin'," he murmured as he rubbed my arm. "If they don't move you, maybe we should tell them about the strange phone calls."

"Maybe…" I muttered. "I'm just scared, that's all. But I guess that's not new."

Jasper looked down at me protectively and offered me a sad smile. I didn't want that; I wanted his happy, shining grin, but I guess we had to get passed my problem first. Then I would get some real smiles out of him, and like he said, we'll be okay.

**Alas, I didn't come up with the obviousness of Alice switching therapists. That was Skylar87, who is cool for reviewing :D **


	43. Take This To Heart

**This took nearly two weeks when it shouldn't have. My bad for being a failure :/ **

**Scars for Blood/Mah Beta Bunny is a cool ninja. And also has some stories, hint hint, nudge nudge. Just thought I'd say… **

Chapter 42: Take This To Heart

JPOV

We stayed in Alice's room after we talked to Dr. Hetzer. There were bits of conversation, but most of the time, I just held her as we sat on her bed. Truthfully, I was glad she wanted me to stay with her; I was just as worried about her last vision as she was. I had promised her over and over again that everything would be okay, and I'll be damned if I didn't keep that promise.

I guess my own anxiety didn't show, because she stayed calm. She usually seemed more relaxed with me. At least, when I saw her, her face went from a bit tense to relaxed when she met my eyes. Hopefully I wasn't kidding myself with that thought.

During our peaceful silences where Alice would rest her head against my shoulder and close her eyes and breathe deeply, I would stroke her arm or her hair and think. Think about _her, _actually. My mind played through the conversation Jarrett and I had on Thursday when Alice had gone to call her dad.

_I watched Alice walk down the hall until Jarrett sighed. _"So," he said, "you two crazy kids together yet?"

His question had caught me off guard. "What?"

Jarrett rolled his eyes. "Don't say 'what' like you have no idea what I'm talking about. It's not a huge secret that you like her." His mouth quirked into an arrogant grin like it wasn't as obvious as he had said and he had figured out something big and difficult.

There was really no point in denying that I didn't like her in the way he implied, because I did. A lot. "You should tell her," Jarrett advised, "or I just might let it slip."

"No, please don't. She's going through a lot right now. I don't want to add this."

His face softened in sympathy and understanding for Alice. "Yeah, I got it. But you _will _tell her, right?"

"Of course I will. It wouldn't be fair to her if I didn't."

Jarrett nodded. "Right after the shit storm is cleared up?"

I was hesitant to make any promises. I didn't doubt that he would tell her if I didn't. "I don't know when," I answered honestly.

He sighed again, this time with a little frustration. "She's my friend, you know."

"Your friend?" I snapped a bit too crossly. I hadn't meant to say it, especially with it sounding like I had meant, "_Just _your friend?" Because I really didn't think he liked her that way… most of the time. I had my doubts, even though I knew they were completely irrational.

"What, you think that I like her?"

"No, that's not—"

"It _is _what you mean, but I understand. I would think the same thing, really." Fortunately, his words sounded true and he didn't sound at all offended. I guess he's the sort of guy that wouldn't lie to spare feelings too much.

"So," Jarrett continued after a pause, "you'd better tell her before someone else comes along and steals her from ya."

I smiled a little, going along with his playful tone, but the seriousness in his eyes made me think. It's not like I'll be the only guy to see how absolutely amazing Alice is. What if someone braver doesn't wait to tell her that?

Jarrett must have seen my realization. "Exactly."

"I'll tell her, I will…"

He must have thought my voice was just as unconvincing as I did, because he closed the conversation with, "Whatever, man." I'm glad that was all he said, because that was when Alice came back into earshot with Serena. _I'll tell her, I will…_

Every once in a while Alice would look up at me and ask what I was thinking about so hard, I would always tell her it was nothing. Suspicion was in her eyes after my answer, but she didn't question it. I wondered if I would tell her if she pressed more, and if I was more relieved that she didn't then if she did. I had told her everything else, so why not this? Even thinking about it made me nervous. I had never felt this way about someone before; all the more reason to tell her before someone else does, but I could just see myself pushing this off again and again once the right time came. So I guess I was stuck.

Maybe I needed an outside opinion. The only problem with that is that "outside" was basically limited to this building. The one person that came to mind was Dr. Hetzer, but I really didn't want him to have to deal with my every little problem. But I really did need help with this… Maybe I could twist some things around so it was like I was asking about something similar. I wouldn't feel like I was bothering him so much and I would get the advice I needed.

I looked over at the clock; it was about 4:55. I didn't know when he left to go home, but it wouldn't hurt to check.

"Hey Alice, would you mind if I left for a little bit? I have to talk to Dr. Hetzer."

Alice looked up at me. "Don't wanna talk to me?" she asked with a small, playful smile, but I could see the questions and a little bit of hurt behind it.

I sighed. "I would if I could, but it's – complicated."

"Oh. Well, yeah, don't let me stop you."

"I'll be right back, I promise." I kissed her on top of her head, which earned me a grin from her. I smiled back before leaving the room.

Hopefully, this trip wouldn't take long. Alice has been worried about her recent visions too much for me to feel comfortable with her being alone. I walked quickly down the hall until I got to Dr. Hetzer's door. After knocking, I heard his voice tell me to come in.

He was sliding a folder into a black leather briefcase when I stepped in, and his coat was on. "Oh, sorry, are you leaving? I could talk to you tomorrow—"

"No, no, it's fine. I'm here to help, so help is what I will do. I really don't mind staying a few extra minutes." He smiled encouragingly. "Besides, I was going to come and look for you before I left. You'll be leaving at seven on Sunday evening."

I completely forgot about leaving this weekend. "Oh… yeah, okay, thanks."

"Now, what do you need?" He set his briefcase down on the floor and gave me his full attention.

"I'll try not to keep you for too long, but there's been something bothering me."

"Yeah?"

"Uh, the thing is that I haven't been able to tell Carlisle and Esme what… happened, and I feel like they should know." It didn't sound like a convincing story to me, but maybe the fumbling could be mistaken with nervousness.

"You should tell them that you're reluctant to tell them, but that you want them to know. They seem like they would be understanding people and would respect that. Then, you should tell me the real reason you wanted to talk to me."

I looked up from the corner of his desk that I had been staring at in surprise. He was grinning. "I've learned that some people feel like they can't tell me certain, more personal things. But you can, really, and I'll try my best to help you out."

"Well," I said, staring down at the desk corner again, "it's about Alice…"

"You like her?"

I peeked up, and then back down. "Yeah. A lot. And she's going through a lot, so I don't want to tell her how I feel right now, but I know that I'm just going to put it off when it _is _a good time… I just don't really know what to do."

He smiled to himself. "I don't know if this will help any, but I had the same problem with my wife. I kept telling myself that I would tell her that I was interested, but it never happened. I was hoping that she might say something first, but that didn't happen, either. But one night, I just… looked at her. It's hard to explain, and it probably doesn't make much sense, but what I'm saying is that I just looked at her and knew that I wanted her to know. I'm not sure if that helps, but it's the best I got."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." I waved before leaving.

Again, I hurried down the hall back to Alice's room. I wasn't sure how he just looked at his wife and decided that he could tell her that he liked her. It seemed much more complicated than that. His story sounded more like a fairy tale than real life. My own life hasn't been much of a fairy tale, so I didn't have high hopes for just looking at Alice and "knowing." But I did appreciate Dr. Hetzer staying a few extra minutes just to help me out.

Alice was lying on her bed when I came back. She opened her eyes when the door opened, and she smiled. "Hey."

"Hi." She sat up, and I put my arm back around her shoulder. She leaned into my side. "Get everything worked out?"

"Sort of," I replied. "What have you been doing while I was gone?"

"Thinking," she murmured as she played with the hem of my shirt.

"About?"

"Nothing." She didn't look up at me, so I wasn't sure if she sounded sad or just tired. I guess it was only fair for me not to know, since I've been keeping my own thoughts to myself.

I guess we both stayed wrapped up in our own thoughts for a while without speaking. Occasionally, I stared down at her until she looked up at me. I looked deep into her eyes for something to trigger some feeling other than anxiety when I thought of telling her how I felt, but none came.

Eventually, Alice's breaths became slower and more even as she fell asleep. I gazed at her calm face then, searching for something that I couldn't seem to find. Soon, my eyes started to drift closed, and I fell asleep with Alice still leaning against my side like she was supposed to be there all along.


	44. Sound of Madness

**As you will find, the last shreds of any clinging sanity are finally gone. Not sure if I miss it yet :D**

Chapter 43: Sound of Madness

APOV

"Oh, not this again," I heard someone say. I was currently in that place between sleep and consciousness. I could feel Jasper's arms in a slack embrace that made my stomach tickle. My eyelids twitched when they turned red instead of black, but I didn't want to open them to see why.

"Up and out, up and out!" a man shouted. My eyes snapped open then as I was snapped out of my dreamlike awareness. The same guy that made me leave Jasper's room before was standing beside the bed. Well, this was embarrassing.

Jasper still hadn't woken up. He just moaned in a cute way and shifted a little, his arms tightening around me. I felt myself blush.

"You've got to be _kidding _me," the worker guy muttered. He got close to Jasper's face and yelled, "Get _up_!"

Jasper jumped, and his eyes flew open. He shuddered in surprise again as he saw the worker who had just screamed in his face – quite rudely, I might add.

"Out, _now, _and I had _better _not catch you in here again. It's—after—_hours._"

Jasper let go of me and slid off of the bed. I already felt cold without him there. Worker Man took a fistful of the back of Jasper's shirt and started to drag him out of the room like he couldn't just walk out himself without being forced. I stuck my tongue out at the man childishly. Jasper saw me and chuckled, which earned him an extra shove before the worker slammed the door.

I sighed and got up to go to the bathroom. Eye makeup made black rings under my eyes that made my nose wrinkle. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before changing into something to sleep in.

It was nearly one in the morning, I saw from checking the clock on the wall. I turned off the lights since the worker guy didn't when he left and crawled under the covers.

I easily drifted back into that semiconscious state, but I couldn't fully fall asleep. Colors of half-formed dreams swam around in my vision, but then I snapped awake enough to get rid of them.

I was finally almost asleep when I felt an annoying, almost painful itch on my forearm. My hand went up to scratch it, but then something held it down. I opened my eyes weakly and saw someone standing over me, but I was fading into sleep fast. Why couldn't I wake up…?

Then I was out.

When I woke up again, I couldn't see because it was so dark. I was in a huddle on the smooth, cold floor that I didn't want to spread from because it was so chilly wherever it was I was lying. What the heck happened?

I groaned and sat up, hugging my legs to keep somewhat warm. I heard a shuffle somewhere in the room, but I was too disoriented to figure out in what general direction it came from. "Hello?"

Before I could get a response, a door opened to my right. I squinted against the sudden light. The sliver of illumination only let me see a sea-foam green linoleum tiled floor and a pair of white shoes in the corner.

My eyes quickly adjusted only to have them tear up when whoever walked in went to the center of the room and tugged a cord to turn on a bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling.

It was a man that had walked in. He was wearing what looked like a blue-gray janitor's uniform. His black hair was a mess, and there was a glint in his charcoal eyes that made the hair look like what a madman would have. I had a really bad feeling that I wasn't too far off base.

The man was smiling a twisted grin which made him look even crazier than his first impression had told. That manic smile was aimed at me. "Glad to see you're awake, Alice Brandon."

My heart jumped around frantically in my chest. How did this guy know my name? I was getting seriously creeped out here. "Who are you?" I asked shakily. I thought my heart would have taken the opportunity of my speaking to escape through my throat, but it stayed trapped.

The crazy grin widened. "Fair enough, seeing as I know who _you _are. My name is Richard Raymer."

My stomach dropped. Richard… Raymer? I recognized both of those names: Richard being who Mrs. Stevens was talking to, and Dr. Raymer. Jasper had told me what Dr. Hetzer said about this guy. He had said that Dr. Raymer had wanted to "take a different direction" with patient treatments and got fired for it. I had had no idea what that had meant when I heard it, and I sure didn't want to find out.

"What are you going to do to me?" I whimpered. I was on the verge of crying in fright, but I bit it back.

Manic laughter bubbled from his crazy grin. "I'm going to make you all better."

"H-h-how?"

"Do you want to hear a story?" Richard took a wooden chair that I hadn't noticed before from the corner and sat down. I finally peeled my eyes away to see that there were some cardboard boxes up against the wall beside me and in front of me. Where was there a storage room in the building? Maybe there was a way to get out, and it would help to know where I was.

Dr. Raymer didn't wait for my answer. "I used to be the best therapist in this entire building. I knew minds just like yours inside and out. I had gone to Princeton for my education. Recently, I started to wonder. Was there a more effective method of treatment for troubled minds? So I took that question and did some research. Old methods of treatment had to have some kind of reason behind them, and I found some of them to make sense with a bit of work. So, I talked to some other members of the faculty who agreed with me on bringing back old methods of treatment with changes that would make the methods last this time, and I even shared some new methods. They thought that I was onto something.

"That was when I decided to pitch the idea to the other members of the hospital. I was thinking that I would be backed up in the meeting, but guess what?" He chuckled, and then laughed louder. "They _didn't_! They saw how the _less-educated, _narrow minded therapists were reacting, and they went along with them! _They turned against me_!" he laughed madly some more. "And then I got _fired _for my ideas!

"Of course," he continued without laughter, "some of them came crawling back with their _sincerest _apologies. One of them – your own therapist, actually, Alice – told me about the old mental institution's ruins that served as the foundation of the newer building when they remodeled it to make it more modern. She said that this basement held some of the old equipment that used to be used for my ideal treatments. It was all too _perfect._

"We had enough people on our side to pull this off. The man in security that spoke with you earlier, Alice? Dalton? He made sure that the coast was clear for me to slip in and take you away. Another worker that has access to the entire building, one who you've met before, kept tabs for me. And your darling therapist… she provided me with just the notes I needed for your treatment. And also got me this one here," he said with less crazed fervor as he jerked his chin towards the corner. "She thought she would be a good test run, with her being an orphan. Sad to say, I've lost my interest."

I peeked around a box to see who he was talking about. "Oh my God, Rachel!"

She was huddled in the corner, hugging her knees like I was. Her mousy brown hair was even thinner and a mess. Tears were pouring down her face from eyes that looked void of emotion. I haven't seen Rachel in so long that I had begun to think that she had gotten better and left. How long has she been down here?

My question was answered by Richard. "Shame; I've only had her for less than a week, and she's already broken. Maybe you'll last longer."

My fear was momentarily replaced with rage. He talked about Rachel – a _human being_ – like she was just a toy here for him to play with until he got bored or "broke" her. And she really did look broken with her empty eyes.

"What have you done to her?" my voice now shook with anger instead of terror.

"A new method I decided to try, just for this case," he replied proudly. It made me sick. "You see, she's had a nervous disorder of some sort ever since daddy shot mommy and then himself. Hearing screaming and gunfire in the pitch dark can really mess up a little girl. So what I decided to do is put her in a small, dark room with sounds of screaming and gunfire. Easy to get what I needed from movies these days. But now she won't speak. Not even a whimper. And she doesn't seem to like bright lights or quiet very much anymore." He shook his head and muttered, "Such a shame."

"You bastard," I spat at him. "She's a little girl who's gone through enough! Look at what you've done to her!" I flung an arm out towards her in my anger, but she didn't react at all. She was worse than ever because of this guy's "treatment."

"I never said that I've perfected the treatment yet," he replied innocently. "There's still work to be done, improvements to be made."

"You're _sick._"

"You may be too young to understand, Alice dear, but I'm creating the future of mental health care." He stood up and put the chair back into the corner of the room where he got it. "Once you're better, maybe you'll understand what us adults are trying to do. Don't be ungrateful." He said the last sentence harshly before tugging on the cord to bathe the room in darkness and slamming the door.

**That is absolutely amazing! You are truly done with this chapter. If you want to make it longer do so, but the ending of it is so perfect…. I mean, it's sad and a cliff hanger, but it's written really well. **


	45. Real World

Chapter 44: Real World

APOV

Maybe it was shock that did it or something, but I couldn't stay awake after Richard left. But when I woke up, I expected to feel blankets and a mattress, even though I wasn't sure how I could forget what had happened.

When the realization hit, all I could do is shake and do my best to hold back the sobs that wanted to take control. What was this guy going to do to me? What if I ended up like Rachel? Would she be okay? Would we ever get out of here?

Eventually, the shaking subsided and I could breathe normally again. He couldn't keep us here forever; my family was _going _to notice that I was gone. They would come and ask questions. And Jasper wouldn't look over my disappearance with what I told him about the visions I've been having. Jasper would figure this all out, and he would help me and Rachel out of here.

I was calm, but Richard's words, his sick grin, his evil laughter, played through my head on repeat. It all sent chills running along my spine. To try and ignore it, I focused on Rachel. I could see her with the light that was now leaking through the bottom of the door; she was staring at the dusty floor with blank, unseeing eyes. I couldn't stand to have her looking like that, so I stood up and went over to sit beside her.

"Rachel?" I wasn't sure if she would talk to me, but I could at least try. "Rachel, are you okay?"

She took in an uneven breath, and her eyes regained some life. When she looked at me, her frightened brown eyes welled up with tears. "I'm scared," she rasped in a whisper.

"I'm scared, too," I admitted. I knew that I should be trying to put on a brave face to keep her calm, but right now I just couldn't manage it. "But don't worry, my friend will find us. He'll figure out where we are and make sure we're okay."

"But what if he doesn't?" Rachel asked shakily.

"Then someone else will. We'll be fine."

"I miss my mom," she whispered. "If she were alive still, I wouldn't be here."

"It makes no sense that you're here anyway," I said, confused. "You're not crazy just because you're nervous."

"I know," she replied. "I guess I could have had regular therapy, but I guess my foster parents didn't want to deal with me, so they dumped me here." She shrugged. "I guess they're allowed doing that. But anyway, it's better than living with them."

"That's awful." She just shrugged again in reply.

We just sat then with nothing else to say and nothing to do but wait.

JPOV

Once I was awake and ready for the day, I left my room and headed towards Alice's room. I had woken up around eleven, which is later than usual, so I saw Rosalie, Emmett, Bella, and Edward in the common room before I could get to Alice's room. Wouldn't she be out here already, though?

"Hey," I greeted them.

"Hi," they all said. Then, Rose added in, "Hey, did they move Alice or something? Because we went to her room and she wasn't there, or in the cafeteria. There was still a little name plate by the door…"

A cold fist clamped around my heart and chilled my blood as she spoke and seemed to drop in temperature as she went on. "Jasper?" Rosalie asked; worry dawning on her face at my reaction. "What is it?"

"I-I'm sure they just moved her… I was in her room last night, so they probably gave her a different one, farther away… I'll just – go and ask…"

That was probably the answer. There was no reason to be so anxious. She couldn't have just disappeared over night…

I approached the desk and cleared my throat to get the attention of the vaguely familiar guy behind the desk. I was glad that it wasn't that woman who had yelled at us before; she might not be as willing to give me answers, and I didn't want attitude right now. He turned around and smiled. "How can I help you?"

"My friends said that Alice wasn't in her room, and they can't find her. Was she moved?"

"Alice who?" he asked as he sat down at a computer, ready to type in her name.

"Alice Brandon."

He tapped in her name and read what came up on the screen. "Oh, Alice, the girl from last night…"

"What do you mean?"

"I believe you were in her room last night?"

"Yes, I'm sorry about that, we fell asleep. Did you have to move her because of that? She didn't get into trouble, did she?"

"It's not _that _we're concerned with," he replied. "After you left, she found the guard that made you leave and… gave him a hard time."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she threw a tantrum and shouted at him. She was moved into a room farther back into the building and isn't allowed visitors in her present state."

She threw a tantrum? That didn't sound like her. She didn't say anything about overreacting the first time, when she was in my room and we were caught. She didn't seem like a person who would do that. "_No one _can see her? Not even for a little bit?"

"I'm sorry, no."

I sighed. "Thanks anyway… Martin." Now I knew why he was familiar; I had met him before, but his name….

Alice said Mrs. Stevens mentioned a Martin, and I thought that this was the only Martin that I knew here… But he couldn't be in on this, could he? But I wouldn't think Alice would throw a tantrum that would force her into isolation. It didn't sound right at all.

"Are you _sure _she's not allowed to see anyone?" I looked straight into his eyes to try and get something out of him. His blue eyes narrowed slightly.

"I'm sure."

"What's going on?" Rosalie said from behind me. The others were looking over at us curiously, but rose just looked like she wanted some answers and she would fight to get them.

"Nothing," I replied. "Let's go." Rosalie looked ready to protest, but after giving her a look that showed I knew what I was doing, she followed me back to the others.

"Jasper, what's going on?" Rosalie asked in a whisper. She glanced suspiciously at Martin.

I realized that Alice hadn't told them about her first vision of Mrs. Stevens when they came to visit last weekend. I filled them in on both that and my previous conversation with Martin, pausing when someone let out a cry of surprise or outrage. I finished with, "I think that that Martin guy is using this story of how Alice threw a tantrum to cover it all up and make sure we can't figure out that she's gone. Martin must not know about the visions and the fact that we already know everything."

"God," Emmett said loudly, "do these people think we're stupid or something? So what are we going to do?"

Rosalie shushed him. "Not so loud." Then, she turned to me. "Do you have any idea where she is?"

"No. Alice didn't see anything about where she and the other person were being kept. I just wish I knew _more._" I ran my hands through my hair in agitation. "I had told her," I muttered, "that I would keep her safe. I promised her that. I broke my promise to her."

"Not yet, you didn't," Bella comforted. I didn't really know her very well – she didn't talk much about her personal life or anything – so I appreciated the effort to make me feel better. "We'll help her, Jasper."

I pushed the possibility of us being too late out of my head as I nodded. "Yeah. But we need something to tip us off about where she is. Some sort of lead."

"We know that Martin and Alice's therapist are involved for sure," Edward worked out. "Who else who could tell us something about this would know something about where she is?"

I dug into my thoughts and tried to use key points to find connections. Martin didn't relate to anything else much. Mrs. Stevens was connected to Alice and Richard. But who _was _this guy, really?

Rubbing my temple with two fingers, I took a different route. Mrs. Stevens and Richard had talked like they were about to start their own asylum or something. Could they have taken Alice far out of this building? There were some warehouses around this area, so she couldn't be far if she was taken there. What could they be doing to her?

Don't think about that now. Just focus on finding her. What could they do, though, have new treatments completely different from the ones used here? I mean, they wouldn't kidnap someone if they were doing the exact same things that this hospital did.

Something sparked in my memory: _"Well, all I can really say is that Dr. Raymer wanted to… take a different direction when it came to helping the patients."_ Dr. Hetzer had said that to me a while ago when I asked about whom they had let go. Both scenarios sounded too similar not to relate to each other. If there was Mrs. Stevens and Martin working with this, could Richard be working with Dr. Raymer? He probably wasn't too happy with getting fired, so was this new asylum some kind of twisted revenge? One thing was for sure: Dr. Hetzer might know something that could take me closer to finding Alice as soon as possible.

I voiced my new theory to the others. When I was done, Edward said, "It's worth a try. Any information could help us."

"I'll talk to him." Everyone nodded and settled themselves in the common room while I headed in the opposite direction toward Dr. Hetzer's room. It was nearly noon, so if he was with a patient, I didn't have to wait long for their session to be over.

When I got to his room, I knocked on the door. There was no reply. Before I could knock again, I heard a voice behind me say, "Looking for me?"

I turned to see Dr. Hetzer smiling. "Oh, yeah, hi. Sorry to bother you again…"

"It's not a bother, I promise. I was just out for lunch before I saw someone at noon. We have time to talk, if it's not too long."

"I'll try to make it quick."

We entered his office and took our usual seats. "So what's up, Jasper?"

"I have a question for you," I said slowly, trying to word it right, "but I can't exactly tell you _why _I'm asking." I figured that a down-low approach was the best for this case.

"Alright, I won't ask, and I'll answer your question."

"Can you tell me more about Dr. Raymer and his plans?"

This question made his eyebrows raise, but like he said, he didn't ask. "Well, what he wanted to do was bring older methods into the modern age of mental treatment. I'm not sure how much you know about how it worker back then, but it was far more barbaric than today. There were things like shackles, shock treatments, lobotomies…"

"Lobotomies? Wasn't that some dangerous brain surgery that's illegal now?"

"Exactly. He wanted to perfect those practices and use them, but we all voted against it."

"Everyone?"

"Yes," he said questioningly, like he was curious about why I would ask that.

"Did he say anything about where he would do this stuff at? Any other places?"

"No… at least not in the meeting."

"What does that mean?"

Dr. Hetzer started to look a bit uncomfortable, like he was guilty of something. "Dr. Raymer was talking to Mrs. Stevens outside of the room where we had the meeting, and I overheard them saying something about a basement. I really don't know why you're interested in what Richard was doing, but I hope it's not anything bad."

"It's not… you said his name's Richard?"

"Yes. Is there something you should tell me?"

"No," I murmured, standing up. "Thanks for the help."

"Anytime."

I walked out of his office and back down the hall. The pieces that I had gained didn't start to click together in my head until I got back to the others. Richard wasn't _helping _Dr. Raymer, he _was _Dr. Raymer. He was the man who wanted to bring back barbaric experiments. He was the man who had my Alice. What if something had already happened to her?

"What's wrong?" Rosalie asked. "What did you find out?"

I sat down, no longer trusting my knees to stay locked to support my weight, and I relayed the new information to them. By the end, they looked as fearful for Alice as I was.

"Well what are we gonna do?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know," I replied. We only know what's going on. We don't have any idea where she is."

"What about the basement he mentioned?" Edward asked.

"We have no way of knowing if they were even talking about all of this. It could be nothing."

"But it could be something," he countered. "Is there a basement here?"

"I don't know. Could we ask someone?"

"It's worth a try," Bella said. "Who'll do it?"

Emmett was already on it. "'Scuse' me," he yelled to a passing worked. The worker turned questioningly. "Yeah, you." Emmett held up a hand and twitched two fingers towards himself to gesture the worker over. When he did come, Emmett asked bluntly, "Is there a basement here?"

"Uh, yeah," he replied, looking at each of us suspiciously. "Why?"

"Why not?" Emmett answered, then looked away to clearly say that he wasn't going to give a more understandable answer. The guy blinked, shook his head, and walked away. "And there's your answer."

"But where is it?"

Emmett's face screwed up in concentration for a second, then he turned and shouted again, "Hey! Come back!" to the guy he had talked to earlier. Emmett jogged over to meet him a few feet away. He was starting to look annoyed, but if he gave us some answers, I didn't care much. A moment later, Emmett jogged back. "He said it's at the end of the hall where the therapists' rooms are. He said there's nothing down there but some old stuff from when the place was remodeled or something."

"Could that be it?" Edward asked.

"I don't know, but I was with Alice late last night and she was gone this morning, so he had to have gotten her out of her room sometime in the night. Taking her to somewhere else in the building would have been the easiest thing to do, especially if the guy worked here before."

Emmett grinned. "Looks like we need a plan."

**1.) Mah beta (Scars for Blood, Scars for Blood, SCARS FOR BLOOD, CHECK HER OUT) is cool.**

**2.) Someone asked, "Why is Rachel in the asylum for a nervous disorder?" Hope that was answered good for ya.**

**3.) Someone also said that I need to stop with cliffies… oops. Sorry 'bout that :P**


	46. Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

**I'm excited for y'all to read this :D**

Chapter 45: Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back

JPOV

We had a plan all worked out for tonight. It wasn't anything elaborate, and we were very likely to get caught, but I was ready for it as long as I found Alice. We didn't even know if she was in the hospital basement, but either way, I would have to go down there and make sure that she wasn't.

I would sneak out of my room when the halls were empty of people and go down to the end of the hall where the therapists' rooms were. When I went down there earlier, I saw the unmarked door that had to be the basement. I had a flashlight that Edward had given me to use from his car before they left. Emmett and Rosalie would be waiting outside at ten thirty across the street if I did find her in the basement.

At eleven fifteen, I stuck my head out of my room and peered around. No one could be seen or heard. I slipped out of the room and down the hall with the flashlight in my hand. Alice had said once that there were cameras in the rooms, so I probably didn't have much time to do this, especially if whoever manned the cameras just saw me leave.

I went as fast as I could down the halls without running; it would make too much noise. No one came out to catch me when I made it to the basement door. I twisted the knob and opened the door a silently as I could. The small bit of light that shone on the steps and into the room below didn't seem to alert anyone, so I continued downward, leaving the door open for the light and a quicker escape.

I could only see some boxes up against a wall in the dim light. When I went farther to the left, I was forced to turn on the flashlight for the light. I kept the lit end of it in my hand and only let a little light through my fingers as I went on, still finding nothing but boxes. Then, I came across a chair and card table with some folders and papers scattered across it. Looking around once more, I went to the table and closed the folders. One had the name Rachel Sommer on it. The other said Alice Brandon.

These would only be down where they were being kept, wouldn't they be? I shuffled the papers together and looked around the space. A plastic bag with soft drinks and food was up against the leg of the table; I took those out, wincing when the bag made even the faintest noises, and put the papers into it.

Heavy footsteps echoed against the floor. I shut the flashlight off and ducked behind a stack of boxes with the bag and prayed that whoever was coming didn't notice the difference in the room.

A man emerged from a hallway I hadn't noticed. This had to be Richard Raymer. The table was in the middle of the room, but he paid no attention to it and went through a door instead. There was shuffling inside, and then a familiar voice said, "What are you going to do?"

"Give you your treatment," Richard said to Alice.

There was a scuffle. I could just imagine Alice resisting his pull. Hopefully it didn't get her hurt. "What kind of treatment?"

"An old method," Raymer replied. "Shock therapy."

My stomach dropped, and a cold sweat broke out on my clammy skin. Shock treatment was extremely dangerous. Alice could be killed.

I heard her gasp and try to pull away again. She cried out in pain. My fist tightened on the handles of the bag, making it crinkle and pop. Richard came back out with Alice in his grip and made to lead her down the hall he had come from, but then he saw the cleared table.

He pulled Alice along, making her cry out again, and went around the table to where I emptied the bag. His back was turned to me as he examined the area with confused alarm. This would probably be my only chance.

I leapt up and hit him across the back of his head with the flashlight. The bulb shattered, and the shards clinked against the floor. He went down and crashed into the card table.

"Jasper!"

"Take this," I said, shoving the bag into her hands, "and run."

"But—"

"Go!"

She looked ready to argue, but Richard was starting to get up again. She ran back to the room she came from and shouted, "Rachel, get up, come on!" She disappeared into the room and returned with a vaguely familiar, bleary-eyed girl. Rachel started to wake up as they ran up the stairs.

I had made the mistake of watching them go; the broken flashlight was suddenly wrenched from my grip. When I turned back, I had just enough time to see the flashlight coming at my face. It hit against the side of my head hard, making me fall and clutch my head against the throbbing pain.

A pair of legs stepped around me towards the door. Before Richard got too far away, I took my hand from my head – now bleeding – and tackled him to the ground. He cried out in surprise and anger. He tried to wriggle free, but I crawled up farther and pinned him down. He got up onto his knees and threw me off, but he lost his hold on the flashlight he had still been holding. I grabbed it, smashed it against his face as hard as I could, and blew past his crumpled form.

I dropped the flashlight when I tripped on the stairs, but it wasn't important anymore. I just had to get outside and jump into Emmett's Jeep. I sprinted as fast as I could down the halls, not paying any attention to the people who came out of their rooms. "Get back here!" I heard someone shout; he sounded older than any of the patients here.

When I got to the doors, Alice and Rachel were standing there. "What are you—" Then I saw Emmett on the other side, pounding on the door before the small area of the inside of the building that lead to the door Alice was beating against. The door had a keypad. Damn it! How haven't I _noticed _that before?

I shot a look back down the hall. Richard was coming fast, holding back the heavy flow of blood coming from his nose and shoving away helping workers. His face was livid. He probably didn't care about all of the people watching and would take me down.

Before I could think, I pushed the girls back and punched the keypad. It smoked and spit sparks, but when Alice shoved against the door, it moved out of the way.

We ran out of the building before any workers or Richard could catch us. Rosalie was in the driver's seat of Emmett's huge red Jeep. Emmett jumped into the passenger's side while I helped the girls up into the back. People were coming out of the building, trying to bring us back, but Emmett pulled away while the door was still open and I was barely inside the Jeep to narrowly escape.

"Are you okay?" Alice immediately turned my face towards her so she could look at the injury, and then gently brought my hand up closer to her face to inspect that wound.

"Fine." I pulled my hand away from her light hold and put my arm around her. I kissed her head and said, "I'm absolutely fine."

APOV

I dozed off against Jasper's shoulder for the entire ride. Not knowing what some crazy guy was going to do to you and then making an epic break for it took a lot out of a person. When I woke up, we were parked in the driveway of Rose's place. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, then woke Rachel up. I shouldn't complain about my situation, because she's had it _way _worsethanme_._

We all climbed out of the Jeep. Jasper helped me down, since the size of Emmett's car was ridiculous. Emmett made sure Rachel got out okay, but didn't help her. She did seem nervous around him when they first met, so that was probably the best idea.

"Carlisle and Esme are gonna be pissed," Rosalie muttered as we came around the Jeep. "I never told them how late I was staying out, just that I was going to be with Emmett for something important."

I found out that Rosalie was right when she and Emmett entered the house first. Carlisle and Esme were both waiting up. Esme stood up from the couch and said, "_Where have you been_? Do you realize how late it is?" Then Jasper, Rachel and I came in behind them. Esme immediately went from mad mother to concerned mama bear. "What happened? Jasper's hurt! How did that happen?"

Carlisle came over and began looking at Jasper's injuries. What if he had a concussion from the blow to the head? What if the burns on his hand were bad? "Feeling dizzy at all? Too much pain?"

"Not dizzy, just tired. I have a headache and my hand stings, but I'll be okay." He wouldn't make a big deal about it; what if it was worse than he made it sound? Jasper caught my look and said, "I'm fine, honestly."

I looked to Carlisle. If anything would reassure me that Jasper was okay, it would be a doctor's word. "His head looks fine," he reported. Carlisle lifted his index finger and had Jasper follow it. "Doesn't seem to have a concussion," he added in. I sighed in relief.

"Don't trust me?" Jasper teased.

"Of course I do. I'm just worried." I managed a weak smile, which he returned.

"You should all get to bed," Esme said. "I'll be expecting an explanation in the morning, though." Esme ran a hand over Rachel's head. "Come on, dear; let's find a room for you."

Rachel smiled. It looked like she was about to cry. "Thank you," she said with a smile. Esme led her upstairs, and Rosalie and Emmett followed.

"I'll get you fixed up," Carlisle said, "and then you can go to bed."

"Thank you," Jasper replied.

I made to follow them, but Jasper caught me. "You can go to bed. I'll be fine."

"But I'm not tired."

Jasper smiled. "'Course you're not. He's just going to fix me up; it won't take long."

I sighed. "I'll get a shower then, I guess. You don't mind, Carlisle, do you?"

"Of course not. Some of your spare clothes are still here, too, so you can change."

"Oh yeah, thanks." Rosalie and I decided that since I was over here so much, I might as well just keep some clothes here, including some pajamas. I went up the stairs and into the bathroom while Jasper and Carlisle went into Carlisle's study.

The hot spray felt good on my body and made me relax. The worst of this was over. We were all safe.

When I was done with my shower, I looked in the mirror. My makeup was smeared, and my hair was tangled and wet. I wiped the rest of my makeup away and dressed into purple cotton pants and a tank top to sleep in.

I was too tired now to deal with my hair, so I left the bathroom and went to look for Jasper. I didn't want to be alone tonight, so maybe I could just stay with him. Problem was, I had no idea where his room was. This house wasn't exactly small.

A door behind me opened. Jasper popped his head out of the room and smiled. A bandage was on his head where the now-clean cut was. "Looking for me?"

I grinned back and went over to him. He opened the door wider to let me in. Esme had done a great job with his room. "How's your hand?"

Jasper held up his hand, how wrapped in a white bandage. "Great." He stared at me for a second, and then let out a small laugh.

"What?"

"Nothing," he chuckled.

"Seriously, what is it?"

"No, it's nothing." He ran a finger across my face. "Nothing."

"Are you laughing at me because I have no makeup on? I don't look _that_ bad, do I?"

"No, that's not it!" When he laughed again, I huffed and stomped to go sit on his bed. I crossed my arms and faced away from him.

I heard him walking, and he sat in front of me. I glared at him, only halfway playfully. He took both of my hands in his. "It's just funny," he explained softly, "that you think you need it."

"What do you mean?" I whispered back.

He seemed to struggle with words. "Well… you're, you know, already beautiful." He looked down, and I might have been wrong because it was dark, but I think he blushed. It was just about the cutest thing I've ever seen.

I freed one of my hands and ran my fingertips over his warm cheek. He peeked up at me and smiled nervously. That small glance made my stomach flutter and my own blush creep up. Something in his own face changed, but before I could stare for too long, he leaned in and kissed me softly.

The kiss only lasted for a few seconds, but it still left me breathless. Jasper looked down, seeming to be very nervous. "I—I don't know if—it's just—"

I cut him off with another kiss. His tense lips softened against mine, and his hand went up to tangle in my hair. It wasn't some wild and crazy kiss in the making by doing so; it just brought me closer to him.

He pulled away from me just enough to look at me through his eyelashes. His hand left my hair to run down my cheek tenderly. "We should get some sleep," he said.

I sighed. "I guess," I grumbled. That made him laugh and peck my cheek before standing. I also stood so Jasper could move the covers and get into bed. I crawled in after him and snuggled into his waiting arms. "I knew you would save me," I whispered.

"I always will, darlin'." I didn't think I would fall asleep so quickly, but I drifted off minutes later with Jasper stroking my damp hair.

**You would hear my voice in the chorus of "Finally!"s that probably went up. I did note impatience in reviews, but couldn't really speed the A/J relationship up any. But there ya go, hope y'all liked it :D **


	47. I Swear This Time I Mean It

Chapter 46: I Swear This Time I Mean It

JPOV

I woke up slightly disoriented before I registered the blissfully familiar warmth pressing against my side. Alice. I opened my eyes and looked down at her. She was looking back up at me.

"How's your head?" she asked as she placed a tender touch on the bandage near my temple.

"Doesn't hurt at all."

"And your hand?"

"Great."

"Good." She propped herself up on one elbow and kissed my cheek.

"So," I asked with a smile, "do I get to kiss you any time I want to now? Like right now?"

"Of course not! I just woke up! I have to brush my teeth!" Alice shot out of bed and headed to the bathroom, leaving me chuckling behind her. Before she closed the door, she glared playfully at me and said, "Don't laugh at me."

I lay in bed and waited for her to come back out. When she did, I went into the bathroom and brushed my own teeth, then poked my head out the door. "Would you mind it if I got a shower?"

"Nope," Alice replied with a smile. I came back out to grab some clothes and was about to shut the door when she shouted, "Wait!"

"What?"

She skipped over to me with a sweet grin. "I want my kiss now."

I set my clothes down on the countertop by the sink and went back into my room. She stood on her tip toes adorably and kissed me softly. I wound my arms around her waist and leaned down so she could stand on her feet again. Her arms went around my neck as she kissed me harder. My hands slid down to her hips, and she pressed herself even closer to me.

I broke the kiss. I didn't trust myself too much at the moment, to be honest. Alice's hands slid to my chest. "You should probably get that shower now," she suggested breathlessly.

"Yeah… that's probably a good idea." I kissed her forehead before stepping away from her warm body. She waved flirtatiously before I shut the door. I sighed and leaned against the door for a minute to spin my thoughts back into some kind of control. Then, I undressed and took a shower; the warm water helped me with thinking straight. That girl was going to get me into trouble one day.

When I was dressed and running a towel through my hair, there was a knock on the door. "Jasper," I heard Esme say, "There are some men who would like to talk to you."

Her tone made me open the door. My adoptive mother-to-be's voice was edged with a nervousness that I didn't understand. "Men?"

"Well… police officers." She smiled anxiously – to try and ease the tension, I imagine. It didn't work too well, but at least she wasn't mad at me.

"Oh. Um, well okay." There was no need to be nervous, I thought to myself as I followed her downstairs. I was helping two people – maybe more – by injuring a man and destroying some of a building. Yeah. Police shot at things and caused damage all the time to catch criminals.

Two officers were sitting on the white couch, talking to Carlisle. They didn't seem like mad, low-tolerance officers that just wanted answers. I've met that kind once when I was living with an abusive stepfather. The policeman wasn't a patient man and was hard on a scared kid who was reluctant to answer because he didn't believe he was safe.

Even if they didn't seem like that, I tensed when the policemen caught sight of me. I waved politely, and they returned the gesture. "Hey, Jasper," the one on the left said. "We just want to talk to you and Alice about what happened last night."

I nodded curtly. "Yeah. Alright."

A door opened and closed. Alice and Emmett walked in. Alice had the plastic bag full of papers in her hand.

I felt myself relax when she walked in. I also saw her shoulders lower from a tense hold, and her face broke into a smile. "Emmett brought these over," she said. "I'd forgotten them in the Jeep."

"And what are those?" the cop on the right asked.

"I'm not sure," Alice said as she came over to me. "Jasper gave them to me."

"Why don't both of you," Carlisle said, "sit down and explain? I would like to know the story myself."

Rosalie joined us downstairs, and we all sat down. Rose reported that she didn't want to wake Rachel up just yet because she seemed so tired the night before. Alice went first, explaining how she woke up in the basement and what Richard Raymer had told her. She grabbed for my hand, and I held it tight in mine between us.

After she had explained, Emmett and Rosalie told the police how they had gotten to the hospital to find Alice missing. Then, I explained my conversation with both Martin and my former therapist. Emmett cut in then to tell them about what he and the worker talked about in regards to the basement.

I went on to tell them about breaking Alice and Rachel out. I also took that time to take out the papers I had thought to steal. They were files on Rachel and Alice, then another paper with a list of six names on it. Three jumped out at me: Alice Brandon, Rachel Sommer, and Jarrett Moore. Jarrett's name was crossed out, along with someone named Owen Winnicker.

I gave all of the papers to the officers. "I found that in the basement."

They looked the papers over. "Shock treatment," the one on the left said in surprise as he read a paper in Alice's file. "My God."

Alice leaned into my side, frowning. I rubbed a thumb over her knuckles as the officers looked over the papers. When they were finished, they tucked the papers into the file folders and set them aside. "We'll have to take these," the one on the right said.

"Of course," I replied.

The officers stood. "Thank you for your time and information," the one on the left said. "Would you call when Rachel is ready to answer some questions?"

"Yes, absolutely," Carlisle replied. He took a card from the officer with a contact number.

"When he have information on Mr. Raymer, we'll be sure to call." The two officers left the house. Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme all went upstairs.

"I should call home," Alice said. "My family's probably worried."

"Good idea." I followed her to the kitchen and sat down on a stool at the bar while she took the cordless phone from the holder.

Alice sat down next to me and dialed her number. She waited until a voice said something on the other side. "Cynthia?"

The voice got louder and happy. Alice smiled at the voice. "Don't worry, I'm at Rosalie's place. I probably should have called last night, I'm sorry." Alice paused and listened to Cynthia speak. "Yeah, thanks."

A different and near hysterical voice was on the line after a pause. "Mom, calm down, I'm fine. _Seriously. _I'm not hurt at all. I swear! I'm at Rosalie's. Okay."

There was another pause, and then a man's voice spoke. Alice's face became pained at whatever he was saying. "Dad, no, it's not your fault. Don't say that. She was in on it all, she tricked you. I'm okay, I'm safe, just don't blame yourself for this. Okay?" her father said something. "Okay, I'll be there soon. I love you. Bye."

Alice hung up the phone and sighed. "So I should really get home," she said. "I guess I'll ask Rosalie…" Her face suddenly lit up, and she gasped, jumped off of the stool, and squealed at a pitch I think only dogs could have heard. "No, you should take me and you can meet my parents!" She started jumping up and down excitedly.

"You want me to meet them?" I asked nervously. What if they didn't approve of me?

She stopped jumping and calmed down a little. "Well only if you want to. I don't wanna make you. But you _will _have to meet them eventually, you know. Just saying."

"Okay, then. I'll drive you home and meet them."

"Great! Oh, but do you not want to be, um, introduced as my boyfriend? Because that's okay, or whatever, I'm not sure quite what _we _are exactly…"

I stood up and kissed Alice on the cheek. "Alice," I said, smiling down at her, "do you want to be my girlfriend? Officially," I added jokingly.

"Don't make fun of me," she whined. "But yes, I do."

"Just so we're clear on that."

She slapped my chest playfully with a grin. I hugged her to me and kissed the top of her head. "Well, let's go meet your parents."

**Aww, how fluffy :D Review please?**


	48. Hallelujah

**SO sorry for the delay! When I finally got this written, I couldn't post it for maybe two weeks because of an error. But THEN I found out that it let me on my home computer, so now you have it!**

Chapter 47: Hallelujah

APOV

After getting permission from Carlisle, Jasper drove to my house in Carlisle's black Mercedes. I had that nervous excitement fluttering in my stomach. My parents had always imagined me with a doctor or lawyer's son that was going to work for them or something, but seeing as Jasper's saved my life, I don't think they'll look down on him too much. Besides, it's not like he was some gang-banger or druggie. I shouldn't be worrying too much about this.

It looked like Jasper was worried enough for the both of us. His knuckles were white against the steering wheel, his arms were tense, and his face was drawn. "It's gonna be okay, you know," I told him.

"I know," he replied tensely. He glanced at me and gave me a tight smile before returning his attention to the road.

I sighed loudly. His smile became more amused when he peeked at me. "Stop worrying," I said with a smile and a light nudge to the arm. "My parents won't eat you. Besides, you're the _hero _that saved my life." I batted my eyelashes at him and made a swooning motion with my hand on my forehead.

He laughed. I loved his laugh; it was low and warm and made me automatically smile. He seemed more relaxed now, but he was still a bit rigid as he drove.

It wasn't long until we pulled into my driveway. Jasper got out of the car quickly and was around to my side to open the door by the time I had my seatbelt off. Him opening the door like a gentleman was the cutest thing ever. "Thank you, sir," I said just to tease him.

"Hey, it's the way I was raised. Come on; I bet your family's missed you."

We walked up to my porch but didn't get the chance to enter. Cynthia was already out of the house, squealing, "You're home!" She hugged me tight, and I hugged her just the same way. I had missed my little sister. "Don't worry," she whispered to me, "you won't be going anywhere again."

"I'm planning on that." I pulled away. "So how've you been?" I asked.

"Lonely," she admitted. "Mom's let me have friends over more than usual to try and make up for it, but it's just not the same." As if the thought reminded her, Cynthia took a step back and stuck her head back through the door. "Mom, Dad!" she called. "Alice is home!"

I heard footsteps from inside. Mom came out with a smile. She looked close to tears, which made my own eyes start to sting. "Oh, Alice," she cried before crushing me with a hug. "I missed you. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I missed you, too."

When our hug ended, I saw that Mom's face was streaked with tears. "Dang it, you're gonna make me cry."

She wiped her eyes with a small, apologetic smile. "And this is Jasper?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Jasper replied shyly.

She took his hands. "Thank you for helping Alice. You have no idea how much it means to me that she's been safe because of you."

Jasper seemed to only be able to nod, he was so taken aback. Mom let go of his hands. Dad shuffled out the door next, looking very ashamed. He didn't say anything, so I started. "Hi, Daddy." I offered a small smile that hopefully told him that I wasn't in the least bit mad anymore.

Those words seemed to break the dam. He scooped me up into a hug and said brokenly, "I'm so sorry."

"I don't blame you, honestly."

"I should never have sent you away."

"I understand why you did it now. It's okay." And I meant every word I said to him. He was worried about me and didn't know what to do, so he did what he thought was right. He let me get away with a lot, but he couldn't let me get out of something that seems like the best thing to do for me.

I pulled out of my dad's hug and went to stand by Jasper. "Well, Mom, Dad, this is Jasper… my boyfriend."

Jasper's face got all red, which made me hold back a laugh. "Oh," my mom said with a little grin. Cynthia was standing in the doorway and behind my parents, so they didn't see her do a little happy dance or mouth and mime, "You, me, later, words." Dad looked Jasper up and down appraisingly, but he didn't look mad or ready to give me some talk about how boys only want one thing and stuff (which I had already gotten from Mom when I was thirteen. I didn't enjoy it much then, either.).

"Well," my mom said after a little pause, "let's get inside."

We went into the living room and sat ourselves down. Dad let me sit by Jasper, unlike past boyfriends, when he made them sit across the room in the recliner while Dad positioned himself beside me for a stare-down. I guess he trusted Jasper more. We made small talk, like where Jasper was from and where he went to school. We ended up having lunch with Jasper there. While I was helping Mom get that ready, she nudged me and said, "He seems nice, Alice. Keep this one around." She was always making fun of me and my "high expectations." Hey, was it so wrong to not want to waste my time?

When we were finished with lunch, the telephone rang. Dad answered it, then put his hand over the receiver. "Jasper," he said, "Esme's on the phone for you."

Jasper stood and walked over to the phone. "Hello?" he said. After a pause, he said, "great," then, "yeah, I'll be right over." He hung up the phone and announced, "Esme would like me to help her move the rest of my things to the house. I would hate for her to do it by herself, anyway, so I should go."

"I'll walk you out," I said as I hopped up from my own chair. Jasper said his goodbyes to everyone, and we walked back out to Carlisle's car with our hands intertwined.

"See, that wasn't so bad," I joked.

"I know, you were right," he replied with a smile.

"Get used to _that _phrase."

Jasper laughed as we got to the car. "I will, darlin'."

I swung his arm back and forth and pouted a little, trying to hint to him. "Looks like you're waiting for something," he observed.

"Maybe because I am." I kept swinging his arm until he chuckled and bent down to give me a kiss. I met his lips eagerly.

He pulled away too soon. "You should probably get back before your family thinks you've disappeared again."

I sighed. "I guess," I mumbled. He chuckled again and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I waved as he got into the car before turning away and didn't leave the porch until his car disappeared down the road. It was true, I didn't have boyfriends for long if I saw a dead-end relationship, but all I could see for Jasper and I were possibilities.

**I'll try my best to get the next one up kinda early for ya, because this was delayed for too long and too short, so Imma try my best.**


	49. Fade Away

Chapter 48: Fade Away

JPOV

"When do you want to be enrolled into Forks High School?"

The question Esme asked at my first "family" breakfast caught me slightly off guard. School had been the furthest thing from my mind, but I guess I had to go sometime. "It doesn't matter much to me when I go back. Probably soon, I guess. Don't want to be too behind."

"Okay. I talked with Alice's mother and she said that Alice will be going back to school on Wednesday. Would you want to go then?"

"Yeah, that sounds great."

"We'll have to get your school supplies today or tomorrow, then. How about I give you some money and you can go whenever you would like?"

"Uh—okay." I'd never had so much freedom with foster parents before. Maybe it was because they were adopting me, or maybe it was just because of who they were. Either way, I didn't really know what to make of it.

Rosalie finished her breakfast and went to rinse her dishes in the sink. She still had to go to school today. "Bye," she called out after she had put her dishes in the dishwasher and grabbed her bag from the couch. I waved goodbye to her as she left.

"I should be going as well," Carlisle said as he picked up his own dishes. Then he kissed Esme on the cheek before going to the garage. I heard his car start and the garage door open as he left for his shift at the hospital.

Esme and I finished our food soon after. She had to go upstairs and work on a project, so I was left to do whatever I would like. I was about to just watch some TV when the phone rang. I went over and picked it up hesitantly. "Hello?"

"Jasper?"

Alice's voice made me relax and lean against the wall. "Hey, Alice."

"Hi!" I could imagine the cute smile on her face. "So, I was just sittin' here and thinking about you, so I just kinda decided to call…"

"I'm glad you did," I replied with a smile.

"When are you going to start school?" she asked. "I'm going Wednesday so I can just hurry up and get back already. I never thought I would actually miss school, but, you know…"

"Esme said you were starting Wednesday," I answered, ignoring where she had taken the subject, "so that's when I'm going."

She gasped suddenly. I was about to ask what was wrong when she squealed, "I have _got _to go shopping with you! That would be so much fun! Are you doing anything right now?"

"Nope."

"Do ya wanna go now?" she asked slowly.

I laughed at her voice and the smile that was probably on her face. "Sure."

"Yay! I'll be over in a little bit, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Alice."

"Bye, Jasper." When I heard the line click off, I hung up and put the phone back. As I did so, I realized I hadn't asked Esme if it was alright for me to go out. Hopefully she wouldn't be too mad about already agreeing.

I went upstairs and knocked softly on the door of the room she used as an office. I wasn't sure if she didn't want me disturbing her. I hoped she wasn't mad.

My small worries were unnecessary; Esme opened the door with a smile. "Yes?"

"Um, hi, sorry to bother you, but Alice called and wondered if I could go shopping with her today. I forgot to ask you before I said yes…"

"Of course you can go," she said. "But I do appreciate the thought. Do you need money now, then? You'll need quite a bit, if you're shopping with Alice… I hope you can keep up."

"Is she that bad?" I asked.

"She treats shopping like a sport, and you need as much energy as one to keep up with Alice's pace." She said all of this with a motherly fondness. She held up a finger and went back to her desk to grab her purse that was sitting beside it. She fished out her wallet and took out a gold card. "I took it upon myself to get you a credit card," she said as she handed it to me. "Don't be shy, either. We have plenty to spare."

I stared at the card in my hand. "Thanks," I said without looking up but incorporating all of the sincerity I felt. She hardly knew me—what if I bought something bad with this? How did she know if she could trust me?

"You're welcome."

"I'll let you work, then." She gave me a smile that I returned before she shut the door again. I walked back downstairs and entered the kitchen when I heard a car horn. I plucked my jacket from the coat rack and went outside.

Alice was bouncing up and down in the seat of a glossy yellow Porsche. She got out and skipped over to me. "Look what my parents got me!" Then she went back to bouncing up and down.

"Whoa. It's nice." She stroked the hood of the car like Rosalie had with hers.

"Yeah," she said dreamily. She snapped back out of her trance. "Well, let's go!" She opened the door and hopped back into the driver's seat. I slid into the passenger's seat and buckled my seatbelt. She started the car back up and drove down the driveway.

Alice turned the radio on and turned it up loud. She looked at me to make sure I was okay with it. I nodded, honestly not bothered, and she turned her eyes back to the road. When the current song ended and another began, she sang along softly to the first verse and then sang loudly to the chorus. She started to dance in her seat without moving her arms too much so she didn't lose control of the car. It was the cutest thing I ever did see.

When the song ended and the station went to commercial, she caught me staring at her. "What?" she asked. "Do people singing in the car annoy you?"

"No," I replied, "not at all." I couldn't help the smile the crept across my face.

"What? Seriously, did it annoy you?"

"No. It was cute."

She turned away from me and back to the road, looking slightly embarrassed, but still smiling.

She sang to other songs for the rest of the ride and tried to get me to join in, but I didn't really know any of the mainstream songs that were playing, or at least any of the words.

We went to a mall in Port Angeles, where I figured out that Esme wasn't kidding in the least about how Alice shopped. She led me to store after store and held clothes up to my body, muttering to herself and either putting it back or adding it to the growing pile. After buying multiple bags of clothes for me, we went to get some actual school supplies.

We both decided to take what we already bought out to Alice's car and then go back in to eat lunch. She asked if it was alright for her to buy some clothes, and I, of course, said it was okay. I wouldn't deny her her joy.

We went to twice as many stores for her as when we did for me. I did like how I could sit and rest when she tried on clothes. She modeled some things for me, and eventually got frustrated after I didn't reject anything. She said everything couldn't have looked good on her, but it really _did. _I didn't know what I was missing.

I didn't know how much time passed, but she ended up buying twice as many bags I had gotten. We squished them in the back seats because of the already filled trunk.

Even though I didn't particularly enjoy shopping, I had a good time with Alice. She didn't sing on the way back, but she still had a smile on her face.

She drove to the Cullen's house—_my _house now, I suppose. It was starting to sprinkle when she parked the car, so we loaded our arms with my bags and jogged inside. While I made the last trip, it started to pour and lightning flashed across the sky, so I suggested that Alice stay until it cleared up; I wasn't at all comfortable with letting her go out in a storm. She happily agreed, and we sat together on the couch watching TV with her cuddled into my side.

I let Alice flip through the channels while I played with the ends of her hair. She sighed. "There's not much on," she said. "We might—"

She stopped talking suddenly, and her hand was still. My own fingers froze in her hair. "What is it?" I asked softly—and then looked up from her to the TV.

It was a warning: a woman was speaking, and Richard Raymer's picture was on the screen beside her. It was in black and white and looked like it was taken from a security camera. "We would like to make the public aware of Richard Raymer," the news broadcaster announced crisply. "He is said to be dangerous and was last seen in a 7-11 outside of southwestern Tacoma and is suspected to be heading south. If anyone…"

I zoned out for what else the woman had to say. I was staring at the grainy shot of Richard and was struck with familiarity. He seemed to be looking right at the camera like he knew it was there and didn't really care. Even though it wasn't the best quality picture, it was like his eyes were in front of me, I could see them so clearly; his eyes were piercing and completely filled with a superior madness. I had seen that exact look before.

The warning was replaced with a different commercial, but I was beyond seeing anything but those eyes. Raymer's, Jonathan's, flashing back and forth until they seemed to blend into one hateful, destructive person.

Why couldn't I escape it?

**This was originally supposed to be all fluffed out, buuut I decided to pop that ending on there. So I can guarantee some drama comin' up here.**

**AND I would like to advertise my newish story (I use the term "newish" because I took a story I posted in junior high and cleaned up the huge mess THAT was). It makes me quite sad that I only know for sure that one person likes it. Check it out? Maybe? It's with the vampire characters instead of human—just a side note there. Tell me if it sucks or not.**


	50. Lights Out

**We gonna get dramatic now.**

Chapter 49: Lights Out

JPOV

By Wednesday, I thought I would lose my mind.

It wasn't because of another new school, although that did have me worried. Alice said that the people there weren't too bad and would like me just for the fact that I was new and that was a rarity in the school, but I couldn't forget all of the other people at the other schools that hadn't seen it that way. With familiar faces there, it would be fine no matter how the others were.

I thought I would lose my mind because I couldn't sleep. The nightmares were back.

The first nightmare on Monday night wasn't too bad, compared to the past ones that have haunted me. The first one just had flashes of both Raymer and Jonathan. I think there were some bloody flashbacks of nine years ago mixed in, but I wasn't sure if I was just remembering another nightmare.

When I went back to sleep, another nightmare stormed my unconsciousness. This one was more vivid and memorable. Jonathan's hands had worn gloves of blood up to his wrists, and it splattered his shirt and face. He grabbed my wrists and whispered, "You didn't think I was leaving, did you?" Then, he threw me to the ground and pulled out a knife. He was hurling it down towards my face when I woke. I couldn't sleep after that one.

I had been hoping that the nightmares were just a random fluke in my brain and would go away by Tuesday night, but I had been wrong. The nightmares were even worse. I barely got any sleep.

After staring at the ceiling for two hours after the last nightmare, I decided to get a shower at seven. It woke me up a little, but I was still fighting my closing eyelids. I dried off, got dressed, and went downstairs.

Esme was already making breakfast, sending the scents of eggs, coffee, and ham drifting through the house. She smiled as she saw me and said, "Good morning, Jasper."

"Good morning." I sat down and laid my head on my folded arms resting on the table.

"Didn't sleep well?" I heard Esme ask.

"No." It was rude that I didn't even pick my head up to talk to her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I heard soft clattering as two plates were set onto the table. My stomach growled suddenly and my need for food temporarily cut through my fatigue. I picked up the fork Esme had already put on the table and started eating scrambled eggs.

"Are you okay, Jasper?" Esme brought two more plates over and set them down as she searched my face. The circles under my eyes weren't _that _dark, were they? I had looked and they surely didn't look that bad…

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied after I had swallowed. "Just nervous, I guess."

She offered a motherly smile. "Don't worry too much about it—Forks isn't much to be afraid of. The people here are nice enough." She started eating, so I continued as well.

Eventually Carlisle and Rosalie came downstairs for breakfast. Rosalie noticed how tired I was, too, and asked if I was okay and if I wanted to stay home today. I declined the offer and hopefully pushed away her worries about me with the same excuse I told Esme.

I should probably tell someone about the nightmares coming back, but I could think of more reasons not to speak up than to say something. It might be the more therapeutic approach to talk about it, but I didn't want to go back to the asylum or have to face the problem at all. If I ignored it, maybe it would go away. There was also the worry of people being disappointed in me. I was kind of disappointed in myself, to tell the truth. I really thought I had gotten over this.

When we were both done, Rosalie and I got into her car. Carlisle and Esme promised me a truck. I had told them that a truck seemed a bit extreme, but they waved off my comment and said that it really wasn't a problem.

Rosalie drove quickly to school, even though we had plenty of time to get there. She parked next to Emmett's Jeep and we got out of the car.

Emmett, Edward and Bella were leaning up against the Jeep opposite the side where Rosalie parked. Rosalie went over and cuddled into Emmett's side, and he slung an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, Jasper!" he said loudly.

Several people, also leaning against their cars or standing in the parking lot, turned towards him. Then they started talking and staring over here.

"Looks like the new kid's been sighted," Emmett said as he caught their peeking. "Ooh, ooh, ooh, I can just imagine all of the girls. Ohmigawd Jasperrrr," he said in an impersonation of a girl, "where are you froooom? What's it like theeere? You're so cuuuute."

We all started laughing. "The sad thing is," Edward said, "this is all completely true."

"Well not _all _girls do that," Bella said, defending some of the school's female population from the stereotype, "but a fair few."

A yellow Porsche pulled into the parking lot and parked beside Rosalie's car. Rose had come home Tuesday and cooed over Alice's car. Alice turned the car off and stepped out, then came over to us. "Hey!" she greeted. She came up to me and stood on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. I smiled down at her.

"Oh, oh, listen," Emmett stage whispered as he cocked his head to the side. "I can almost _hear _the collective sigh of teenage girl disappointment." As I looked around, I did notice that there were some crestfallen expressions as they stared over here.

Alice laughed, high and sparkling. "Did you get your schedule yet?" Alice asked.

"Oh, uh, no," I replied. "Where do I do that?"

"Come on, I'll show you." Alice led the way to one of the many scattered brick buildings. I opened the door and let her inside first, then let the door close behind me.

An older woman was behind the desk, looking at some papers. She glanced up and smiled. "Good to see you back, Alice."

"Hi," Alice replied with a smile.

"And this must be Jasper Hale," the woman said. She dug around and pulled a paper from the clutter on her desk. "Here's your schedule, dear. Good luck."

"Thanks." I took the schedule from her, and Alice and I left the building.

As we walked back out, Alice plucked the schedule from my hand. "What classes do we have together?" she asked herself. After looking my schedule over, she said, "Trig, Government, Gym, and French."

"Isn't that half the day?" I said with a smile.

"Yup!" We joined the others. Emmett snatched my schedule out of my hand and looked it over. The others looked over it and I found out that I had every class with at least one of them, which was reassuring.

When the bell rang for first period, Alice took my hand and led the way to building six where we had Government. Any History class was usually my favorite, so at least I didn't have anything hard to do first period to get me frustrate the rest of the day. In English, I sat in front of Emmett, who was in the very back—no surprise there, what with his size. Rosalie was also in that class. Third period Trig met up to my expectations of being my least favorite class early when Mr. Varner made me stand up and introduce myself, even though I was fairly sure everyone knew who I was. When I mumbled and he told me to speak up, I snapped my name at him, which didn't seem to make him happy. Alice giggled and Bella told me as I passed her that he does that with every new student.

After Gym was lunch, which was a relief. Alice and I walked to the cafeteria together. Any energy that I had gotten from breakfast had quickly faded with the morning classes, and Alice picked up on it in Gym. She had asked if I was having nightmares again with so much concern flooding her green eyes that it hurt to lie to her and say I wasn't and that I was just nervous for today. She didn't ask any more questions, but I caught her peeking over at me every now and then as we walked to lunch.

Emmett, Bella, Rosalie and Edward were already sitting at a table in front of the wide windows overlooking the school grounds. Alice and I went through the line and got some food, then joined the others. Alice got right into the conversation, but I was too tired to do the same. Food didn't give me much more energy, and I wasn't hungry anyway, so I pushed it away after a few bites of a banana.

"Jasper," Alice whispered, "really, are you okay?" She rubbed my hand with her fingertips.

I closed my eyes and smiled faintly as the light touch tickled my hand. I opened my eyes again and said, "I'm okay."

"What have I told you about lying, Jasper?"

The voice cut through everything else in the room. I went rigid all over at the sound, and I dropped my eyes so no one would see the horror showing there. I squeezed my eyes shut, gathered myself back up as much as I could, and looked up.

Jonathan was sprawled across an empty table with one leg hanging off of the edge and the other on the table so his knee was up in the air. He had a cigarette this time, which was new; he took a drag off of it and blew the smoke away. He turned his head and smiled cruelly. "Lying is a sin." He chuckled, and then he was laughing—probably at my expression. I would imagine it was somewhere between angry and horrified.

"Jasper?" Alice's voice cut through Jonathan's hysterics. Her hand wasn't on mine anymore; I hadn't noticed that she had taken it away. "Jasper, what's wrong?"

Everyone's attention—including Jonathan's—was on me. It made it seem like the temperature rose several uncomfortable degrees. It was too hot in the room. I had to leave.

I mumbled some excuse, something about air, or maybe it was that I didn't feel well. I barely heard the words, but I leapt up and walked brusquely out the door. I hadn't missed Alice's anxious stare.

It had started to rain while we were in the cafeteria. I pulled the hood of my jacket up and walked out to where Rosalie's car was parked. I didn't have the keys, so I couldn't sit inside, but I didn't have anywhere else to go in mind. When I got to the car, I leaned against it and tilted my face up to the cool droplets.

"Did you honestly think that I wouldn't follow you?" Jonathan asked, amused by how easily I was shaken up by his mere presence.

"No," I answered curtly. I really did know that he would follow, but I needed to be as alone as I could get to talk to him and not alarm the others.

"Well then, did you honestly think that I would stay gone?" His voice had gone softer, but no kinder. It was the kind of voice that you used to seep under someone's skin, low and persuasive so they saw things your way. "Did you believe that I wasn't a fixture in your mind, that I would leave you alone? Because I am permanent, Jasper, and I won't leave you alone. I have to remind you."

"Of what?" After I asked it, I wanted to take it back. I didn't want to hear his answer. I didn't want to hear anything he had to say.

"Of that night you failed. I have to remind you that you were weak then, and you're no different now. Do you think that ignoring the whole thing will make it not true? I have to remind you that you know the truth, that it's inside your head, but you _ignore it._" He spread his arms wide and smiled. "I'm here to bring that to light."

"I don't _want_—"

"It doesn't _matter _what you want!" His smile had gone manic, and the laugh that bubbled from his throat matched it. "It doesn't _matter!_"

"That's a lie!"

He calmed down, but a small smile still lingered on his lips. "Do you realize," he said in that soft voice again, "that you haven't seen your parents' graves since the funeral? People go to graves to remember their lost loved ones, but you… you forget them."

"I've never forgotten them!" I retaliated. "I remember every day. And now it _haunts _me through my nightmares and _you_."

"Just trying to help."

"You've done enough!" But he didn't hear what I said—he was gone.

I grunted and kicked the tire of Rosalie's car. He was gone for now, but he would be back. He would always be back.

**I just can't leave the boy alone. I'm an evil person…**


	51. Someone, Somewhere

**Another JPOV, because he needs some lovin's.**

Chapter 50: Someone, Somewhere

JPOV

I went to Biology II five minutes late and soaking wet.

Mr. Banner looked me up and down, gave me a strange look, shrugged, and directed me to the empty front seat. I sat and ignored the girl staring at me from the right. Everyone was probably staring.

I was just glad that I could avoid Alice for at least a period. I know that she won't believe me when I would inevitably lie and say that I was fine. I wanted to tell her so bad about what was happening, because I couldn't deal with this myself, but I didn't want her or anyone to know that Jonathan was back. What if they only spent any time with me only because they thought I would eventually be normal?

"God," Jonathan suddenly said from the corner of the room, "you're so _whiny _sometimes."

I wanted to retort and remind him that this was all _his _fault, but I couldn't just shout that in a room full of people. So he went on and on, _reminding _me, telling me that I was weak, telling me that he just wished he could have finished me off to spare the world from my presence. It got tiring after awhile.

Taking notes was hard; every time I started a sentence about biology I ended up writing down what Jonathan was saying to form strange sentences that I had to scribble out violently. I kept the notebook in my lap at an angle so the girl beside me wouldn't see my mistakes.

The hour passed painfully slow with Jonathan as background noise, but it finally ended. I was relieved for a second before I remembered that I still had one more class to endure. When I got to French, both Rosalie and Alice looked up from their conversation to stare at me. "Where were you the rest of lunch?" Rosalie asked, sounding a bit angry.

"Um, outside," I mumbled in response while looking down at the floor.

"_Why_?" she drawled out like she was talking to an idiot. I wasn't denying that I wasn't.

"I needed to think," I partially lied. I chanced a glance at Alice—it was just as easy to see her intentions as she saw through my lie. After school, we would say that we had to talk, and I wouldn't deny her. But the question was whether or not I _would _tell her.

The bell rang for class to start, and we all took our seats. I was forced to take French because there were no more seats open in Spanish. I could only pick up on some on the things Mrs. Quinn said the entire period. Finally, the period ended, and we were free to go.

While I was shoving books into my bag at my locker, Alice approached with her own bag and coat on, ready to leave. "Jasper," she said softly with wide, irresistible eyes, "will you come home with me today? I think we should talk."

I zipped my bag, shut my locker, and leaned my head against it with my eyes closed. I couldn't say no to her. "Okay."

I sounded miserable. My mood didn't lift when I heard, "You're not gonna lie _now, _are you? She should really know the truth."

I squeezed my eyes tighter and tried to will Jonathan away. There was a light touch on my arm. I opened my eyes to see Alice's hand on my bicep and her green eyes searching mine. I shouldn't worry her like this.

"Let's go," I tried to say lightly, but that didn't work well, either. I took Alice's hand as we walked to the doors that would lead to the parking lot. She looked up at me with a spark of something in her eyes, but I didn't know what it was.

We strolled out to Alice's car, taking our time now that it wasn't pouring. The nice smell of rain hung in the air; I breathed it in and exhaled some of the pressure building in my head. We got into the car, and Alice started it up silently. She didn't turn the radio on.

Either way, Alice would be worried about me. If I did tell her, she would fear for my mental health—what if she doesn't want to deal with that? If I don't tell her, she'll fear for my secrets and think that I'm holding back who know what. Either way, she won't be truly happy, and that tears at my insides like shards of freezing glass.

In my mind, I heard laughter.

"Sit," Alice demanded. I sat down on her bed stiffly, and she sat facing me, legs folded under her. She looked down at my hands and swallowed. "Jasper," she whispered, still not looking at me, "Please tell me what's wrong."

The look she gave me when she peeked up made the frozen glass in my body twist. Her eyes were filled with pure fear and concern. I was doing that to her.

I turned on the bed to face her and opened my arms. "Come here," I said. She crawled into my arms and hugged my waist. I wound my own arms around her and inhaled the scent of her lavender shampoo. When I breathed out, I saw goosebumps rise on her bare arms.

I took another breath and said, "Why does this have to happen, Alice? Why can't we both be happy? You don't deserve this."

She pulled away enough to look at me. "What are you saying?" she asked seriously, all tenderness gone for the firmness she was using. "Just tell me, _please_. I'm sorry for pushing you, but _please_."

She looked into my eyes steadily. I wonder what she saw there. When I didn't speak immediately, she said slowly, "Jasper… if you don't want to—_do this _anymore, then just tell me." As she spoke, her words had gotten faster. "I know it's hard to just say it and you don't want to hurt me, but just do it if that's what you want."

"What? What do you mean?" She was looking down at my hands again. "Look at me," I said, coaxing her chin up with my finger. She looked like she knew what I was going to say next, and that it would be something she didn't like. "You think I want to _break up_?"

She didn't answer, and she looked back down. I cupped her chin and brought her gaze back to mine. When I let go, she didn't look away, but there was still a bit of fear hiding in her green eyes. I slowly brought my face closer to hers and kissed her. Her lips were as soft as rose petals and just as sweet.

When I pulled away, I met her eyes again. The fear was gone from them. "All I want is to be with you," I rasped. "And to be normal."

"But you _are _normal, Jasper."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "The nightmares are back, Alice. _He's_ back. I don't think I can ever win."

I opened my eyes again. Alice's eyes were shining with tears. "You don't have to deal with this," I murmured. "Not if you don't want to."

Jonathan was watching. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, but I paid him little mind. All that mattered was Alice.

Suddenly, she kissed me. Her arms twined around my neck, and she said without words that she would never leave, just like I would never leave her.

Her lips were urgent on mine, and I kissed her back with just as much passion. One of my hands held the back of her neck and my other on her lower back. Her body was pressed to the curves of mine, fitting together like puzzle pieces.

Somehow, we were laying on her bed with her on top of me, still fitting to the contours of my body. Her hands explored my chest and stomach, making me shiver. The spell was broken, though, when there was a ringing.

Alice groaned against my mouth and then rolled off of me. She stood and went to the bag she dumped by her bed. She opened a side pocket and plucked the phone from it. "Hello?" she answered when she flipped it open. "Yeah?" There was a pause as she listened, then she sighed in some kind of relief. "That's great; thanks for calling me. Bye."

She flipped her phone closed and sat back down. "They caught Richard." Alice leaned against my shoulder and closed her eyes. She seemed suddenly tired. "I can finally sleep."

"You haven't been sleeping?" I turned to look at her.

She opened her eyes and smiled weakly. "Caffeine and makeup can do wonders. I know I should have told you, but I didn't want to worry you." Her smile got a little bigger. "I guess we're alike in that way."

I smiled back at her. "I guess so. Do you want to take a nap?"

Alice nodded. "Very much."

"So I guess I should go then and—"

"Nuh uh." Alice tugged on my arm. "Will you stay with me?" She gave me a cute, hopeful grin.

I chuckled. "Of course. I'll always stay."

She pecked my cheek, and we both got under the covers. She cuddled against my chest and fell asleep within five minutes. I must have fallen asleep in six.

My sleep was peaceful.


	52. What Lies Beneath

Chapter 51: What Lies Beneath

APOV

"Alice," I heard a hushed voice say. "Alice, wake up."

Someone poked my arm. I groaned and opened my eyes. I was too comfortable for this.

"_Alice,_" the voice said again. I groaned louder and rolled over. That's when I remembered Jasper; when I moved, his arms tightened around my torso. He's so cute when he's asleep.

"Mom and Dad are home."

Cynthia was standing by the bed. She glanced at the door every so often. "I figured that you won't want Dad catching you guys, no matter how cute this is." She smiled. "If one of the parentals comes up here, I'll distract them."

"Have I told you how much I love you lately?"

"Later, sister dear. I have to be bodyguard." Cynthia wiggled her fingers in a wave and skipped out of the room. I was smiling until I heard Dad's voice in the hallway.

"I wouldn't bother Alice," I heard Cynthia say. "I went in there and she threw a shoe at me."

"Is she upset?" Dad asked.

"Just tired, for all I know."

I was wasting time listening. "Jasper," I hissed, shaking his arm. "Jasper!"

His eyes fluttered open, and he looked up at me. "Hmm?"

"My dad's coming, get up." I sat up, and his arms fell off of me.

"Oh," he muttered before sliding off of the bed after me.

"Over here," I whispered. I opened my closet and pushed him gently in. Before closing the door, I kissed his cheek and held up one finger in the _in a minute _gesture.

"I think I'll just check on her," I heard my dad say. His voice sounded closer than before.

"How about I go in first," Cynthia suggested, "just in case she wants to throw something?"

The door opened, and Cynthia's head poked through. "Alice?" she said for good measure, even though I was standing in the middle of the room.

Quickly, I took off a shoe and laid it near the door. I threw a shoe at her, right? When she rolled her eyes, I just shrugged and took off my other shoe so I didn't hobble along. Then I ran back to my bed and curled up under the covers.

"I think she's asleep," Cynthia said.

"I'll talk to her later. Don't want to wake her up if she's tired." When I heard Dad's retreating footsteps, I threw the covers off of me and went to the closet.

When I opened the door, Jasper looked up from his hands and stood up straight from his leaning position on the wall beside the door. I waved him out, and he followed me to the door. I opened the door out into the hallway, where Cynthia was waiting. She held up a finger and disappeared downstairs.

A minute later, Cynthia came back and waved at us to follow. We snuck down the stairs and into the living room. I heard Mom in the kitchen where she couldn't see us, but I didn't know where Dad was, so we hurried out the sliding glass door in the living room.

When we were outside, Cynthia breathed a sigh. "Oh, that was fun," she said with a smile.

"Thanks, Cynthia," I said. "I owe you one."

"Ya sure do." She kissed her hand and waved at us. "Later, kiddies." She went back in the house through the sliding door.

"Sorry about all of that," I apologized as we went back around front to get into the garage.

"It's fine," Jasper brushed off with a smile. We got into my car, and I started it up with a twist on the keys.

"Jasper," I said softly.

"Yeah?"

"What are we going to do about Jonathan?"

Jasper sighed and leaned back in the seat. "I guess I'll wait a few days, make sure that this wasn't a one-time thing, and if it is, then nothing. If not, I think I'll call Dr. Hetzer. Maybe he'll know what to do."

"Okay." I looked up from my hands to him. "Why does this always happen to you, Jasper?"

He sighed and put an arm around my shoulders. "I don't know, Alice. I just want all of this to go away."

"Me, too. I don't want this haunting you for the rest of your life."

He kissed the top of my head. "Me neither."

JPOV

I was feeling uplifted from my visit with Alice until I found Jonathan waiting for me in my room.

"Hoping that I would leave you alone because of some touching words?" He was sitting on my bed and leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "Not likely."

I sighed, feeling suddenly drained of energy. I hadn't gotten as much sleep as I would have liked over at Alice's. "I'm tired, Jonathan, so would you like to tell me what it is you want?"

Jonathan let out an amused chuckle. "No time for fun, huh?"

"No time for you, actually."

"I don't see much of a difference."

My only response was another sigh.

"So you're tired, huh? So why don't you just go right on ahead and sleep? Try not to let the nightmares get you." His smile was sick and twisted.

Frustration welled up in my chest too thick to force down with much luck. He knew so much of what got to me that it gave me no hope of winning the fight against him.

I sat down on the bed. Jonathan was suddenly sitting on the floor leaning against the wall opposite me. "Why did you do it?" I asked softly.

"Do what?"

"Kill my parents. Why did you do it?"

The sick smile got wider. "I was bored on a Saturday night? What's it to you? They're _dead. _Will knowing why make it better? Do you want them to have been slaughtered for some greater purpose? They weren't. I killed them because I _felt like it._"

"That can't be true," I replied calmly. "No one goes out and kills someone because they feel like it. Everyone learns some kind of morals in their life, and only break or change those morals for a good reason. Unless you were raised by a killer and he told you why _he _killed, you have to have a reason."

"And you know so much about me?" Jonathan asked sarcastically. "You know nothing of what I've been through in my life."

"What have you been through?" My voice stayed soft to try and coax answers out of him. I wanted to have as much ammunition as possible against him to try and match how much he had on me.

Jonathan scoffed. "I'm not gonna share my life story with you."

"How many others were there?"

"What?"

"How many others have you killed?"

The aggravation that had pulled his mouth tight fled, and the twist in his mouth was back. "Lost count."

"What were they like?"

Jonathan leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. "They deserved everything they got. So did your parents. They deserved it all."

I almost asked why they deserved it, but I stopped to think. All of the people he's killed had to have had something in common. I couldn't think of any major faults in my parents. They've lived a nice life, haven't they? They both had successful jobs, a nice, house, a family, friends… Maybe there was something I was missing? Maybe they've done something I hadn't known?

My father was never a violent man. His father had fought in war, and I remembered how my grandfather had always seemed distant, staring at his scarred hands, and when I asked my father, he said that Grandpa was back in the war when he left like that. That was what probably shaped my father to try and find the non-violent solution to conflicts. So he and my mother wouldn't hurt anyone, and they were outwardly nice people…

There had to be some other motive. Jonathan didn't seem like the type for killing to punish for the victim's sins. Jonathan was about personal gain and power.

I looked him over. He was looking at me now, a cocky grin on his face. "Trying to figure me out?"

I stared beneath the self-confident air of him at things more trivial. His jeans were worn at the knees and the bottoms of the legs, and his T-shirt was plain. His hair wasn't cut or styled in any special way. He didn't wear a watch or anything of much expense. It was worth a try to voice the option of his motive.

"Jealousy."

His face contorted into an annoyed confusion. "What?"

"You killed the people high in society. You never had a good life, so you murdered the ones who did."

Something flashed in his eyes. He tried to cover it with a scoff. "You think you know me? You're whole little 'theory' is _wrong_."

"But I'm close. You know that I'm close."

Another flash in his dark eyes. He said nothing.

"You never had a good life; I'm right about that," I pieced together out loud for him to hear. "My parents weren't bad people. They loved me and my sister… they loved us… like no one's ever loved you." The realization came as I spoke, and when I said it, I knew that I was right from the tightening of his muscles and the clenching of his jaw and those eyes becoming hard and dangerously angry. Murderous. But he couldn't hurt me. I could only hurt him now, and it would be with nothing but the truth.

"You _were _jealous, but it was because your parents were bad to you. You were jealous of all of the loving families. You wanted to see them destroyed."

Jonathan suddenly disappeared and came back standing at the footboard of the bed. "Do you want a prize for figuring it out?" he snapped. His eyes had gone wild with rage.

"Who were the first people you killed?"

I had asked the question quietly, so it scared me when Jonathan slammed his hands against the footboard, gripped it tight, and leaned over so he was growling like a rabid dog in my face. "_I killed my own parents. _There ya go. I killed them because they didn't _love _me. They took _everything! _They took him from me!"

"Who?"

He released the footboard. I had half expected there to be indentations where his fingers had been, but the wood was smooth. He gripped his hair instead and spun away, laughing manically. Then he turned back to say, "My _brother. _They killed my brother, my only friend—that bastard beat my brother to death while my bitch of a mother was passed out _drunk. _I was too late to save him, so I got my revenge years later." The feverish hate and coiled mouth formed into the most frightening face I could ever imagine. "I beat my father and mother to death with my bare _fucking_ hands—and I _liked _every _second of it_!"

His cold, rock-hard eyes had me paralyzed. I couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't release my breath. "All of my love for anything," he said more quietly but no more calmly, "is dead. I shouldn't be the only one."

He disappeared in the still silence that followed.

**Sooo, I thought this chapter was flippin' sweet—the end, I mean. Intense to write. Intense to read?**


	53. Waiting for the End

**I thought I lost this forever and ever amen because my computer was raped—AGAIN—but my beta's AWESOME and she had it, as well as my other lost chapters :D SCARS FOR BLOOD IS THE CHEESE TO MY MACARONI. *Ahem* Let's move on, because this is quite overdue.**

Chapter 52: Waiting for the End

JPOV

For the next two days, I fought with schoolwork and paying attention in class. I suppose that paying attention affected the schoolwork, and I wasn't paying attention well because of Jonathan. He was also the reason I fought with Rosalie.

I had told the others at lunch on Thursday about Jonathan's return. I didn't share his life story, but I myself didn't know why I kept it a secret. It was disturbing, sure, but I don't think that was the only reason. I felt like I understood him better, and it made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to understand him. I didn't want anything more to do with him.

I did mention my intentions to wait and see if Jonathan would leave me alone before calling Dr. Hetzer. Everyone except for Rosalie went along with that; she said that I should do something immediately to save myself from the stress. I reasoned that I didn't want to bother him if this was short-term, but she insisted that this was too important to be polite.

On Saturday, my relief for the weekend was quickly quashed by Jonathan's presence. He had been around for the remainder of the school week, but on Saturday morning, he was there when I woke up and wouldn't leave me alone for the rest of the morning.

When Jonathan didn't let up, I decided that afternoon to give Dr. Hetzer a call. He had given Carlisle his number for me when he went back to the asylum for the things I had left. He had said that he was about to see someone, but he was free to talk Sunday at two. I told him that that was fine.

Now, on Sunday, I knocked on the door and waited for a response. When I heard Dr. Hetzer tell me to come in, I opened the door and stepped in a bit hesitantly. I liked Dr. Hetzer well enough, but I was honestly hoping to never see his room again.

Dr. Hetzer was sitting at his chair. He smiled when I came in. "Hello, Jasper," he said pleasantly. "Nice to see you again, despite the circumstances."

"Good to see you, too," I replied politely. I sat down on the couch like I've done so much in the past.

"Now," he began as he sat up straighter in his chair. "Tell me what the problem is."

I started with seeing Jonathan again, and then going back to mention that the trigger might have been seeing Richard and how they had looked so much alike. Then I went on to tell him all of the times Jonathan has been there, including when he revealed his life story to me. At that part, he stopped me for a minute to speak.

"Has anyone told you about Jonathan's past?" he asked.

"No. Not that I know of, but I think I would remember someone telling me that…"

"I ask because a hallucination is something entirely from the mind. If what he told you really did happen, then you would have had to have heard it somewhere. If it didn't happen, maybe you heard it on something like television. If you haven't heard it before, then it had to have been an invention of your imagination."

"Why would I come up with that?" I could hear the worry in my own voice; why would I think of something like that unless I was crazy?

"To answer the question of _why _is my best guess," Dr. Hetzer replied coolly. "Since no one has answered it, you've come up with something on your own."

"But why something so… horrible?"

"Because of the horrible thing he's done. Something like murder would have to have strong roots."

I nodded slowly at his reasoning. "I understand."

"In all honesty, I don't think you're going crazy," Dr. Hetzer said with a small smile. I didn't doubt him—I trusted him enough not to lie to me.

Once I had gone on and told him everything, he sighed. "I had really thought," he said sadly, "that you were better. I had hoped that you were."

"Me too."

"I do this as little as possible," Dr. Hetzer said as he stood up and went to his desk, "but I would like to try it, if you don't mind."

"Sure," I replied curiously. He returned with a small notepad. With his pen, he scribbled something on the paper, ripped it off, and handed it to me. It was a prescription.

"Risperidone," he explained. "It's supposed to help with hallucinations. We try to give it out medications as little as possible and try to cure patients of such illnesses with therapy, but every once in a while we try it out. If you and Carlisle and Esme are okay with it, then you can go and get some."

"Alright," I said. "Thank you." I wanted the problem completely gone and my brain cleared of the haunting hallucination, but if pills would work in the meantime, I was okay with that. I was too tired of Jonathan's presence to really weigh the options.

"I hope it helps," he said with true concern.

"Me too."

Esme and I walked into the house from the garage. I turned the pill bottle over and over in my hands. I hadn't opened it yet, even though I knew that I should take some.

Rosalie and Emmett were on the couch; they looked up upon our entrance. "Jasper!" Emmett called. He stood up and came over to me. "What's up, buddy? I haven't seen you in, like, _two days._" His hand came down on my shoulder, and he looked me seriously in the eye. "I missed you, man."

"I missed you too," I said as I tried to maintain seriousness and play along.

"Ah, screw it," he said. He wrapped his massive arms around me in a hug. "I am secure enough in my masculinity to give a fellow man a hug."

"I'm glad," I choked. It was hard to think of his hugs as friendly when they nearly killed a person.

Emmett released me and took a step back. "Whatcha got there?" He took the pill bottle from my hand.

"Medication," I replied nervously. I hoped that he didn't think I was popping pills or something.

"Are they gonna get you jacked up? What are the side effects? Gotta look out for ya, kid."

I pulled a paper from my pocket. "The doctor gave me a list."

Emmett handed me the pills and took the paper. "Hmmm." As he looked over the paper, I decided that I might as well take the pills now. I got a glass from the cupboard and went over to the sink to fill it with water. The doctor said that I could take two pills once a day for two or three days before going up to taking two pills two times a day. I would have to read the side effects myself sometime so I would know what to look out for the next few days.

Emmett was reading the list silently yet as I opened the orange plastic bottle and shook two pills into my hand. They were a light pink color that made me feel like I was taking candy instead of medicine. I put the pills in my mouth and took a swig of water. When the pills were down, I took another swig of water.

"BREASTMILK PRODUCTION?"

I nearly spit out my water at the sudden strange outburst. Esme and Rosalie, who had been talking, looked up, startled. "Emmett, what the hell?" Esme seemed too confused to chide Rose on her language.

"It's a side effect! Look!" He pointed to the paper and showed Rosalie. "See?"

"It's probably not for _men, _Emmett," she reasoned.

"Whatever." He walked over to me. "I'll still be watchin' out." He poked my chest. "Anything feel weird?"

I narrowed my eyes. "No."

"Just making sure." When he poked my chest again, I swatted his hand away. "_Well _then. Just trying to help."

"And I thank you for that."

For the rest of the day, I would pause occasionally and check if my head was clear and my body felt okay. Nothing really felt abnormal to me when I did these checks, so I figured that I was reacting well to the medication.

I called Alice after a few hours of being on the medication. I thought she would want to know that I went and saw Dr. Hetzer and got some medication to help me.

"So you think you'll be alright now?" she said after I told her.

"I hope so. I don't have any side effects from the medication, and I haven't seen Jonathan around, so maybe."

I heard her sigh. "Good. I'm so happy."

I could picture the small, relieved smile on her face. "Me too."

My freedom from my own head didn't last long.

At nine, I was checking over my trig homework when I heard him. "It's not that easy, Jasper."

I jumped at the sound and accidentally scribbled across the paper. This wasn't supposed to happen.

He was leaning against the doorjamb of the door to my bedroom, which was right next to my desk. I threw my pencil down and put my head in my hands. "What do you _want_?" I asked, my voice muffled.

"I want you to know that I'm not going to leave so easily," he replied. I splayed my fingers and turned my head to look at him. His posture was so lazy and careless, but his mere presence was so destructive. It didn't make sense.

"You weren't here before," I said.

"Do you want me here all the time?" he replied with a raised eyebrow and slight smirk.

"You _couldn't _come back earlier," I worked out. "The medication wouldn't let you, and it just wore off. If I take more, you'll leave."

I stood up and went to my dresser, where the bottle of pills sat. I took it, pressed and twisted the cap, and shook two pills into my hand. The paper with the symptoms on it said that they could be taken with or without water, so I popped them into my mouth and swallowed.

Jonathan said nothing, but I saw something in his eyes—some kind of smugness. He would come back any chance he got. Hopefully my dose times didn't leave too many gaps for him to come through.

He leaned casually and unconcerned against the doorjamb and didn't say anything. I knew the medication wouldn't work right away, but I still willed it to hurry up. I didn't know how long it would take for Jonathan to disappear, so I decided that I might as well get ready to go to bed early. I packed up my school things and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and splash my face with cold water. Afterwards, I went back to my room and changed into pajamas.

When I got into bed, Jonathan wasn't anywhere in my room. I let out a relieved breath and closed my eyes, suddenly exhausted. I thought that I would get to sleep quickly because of the sudden fatigue, but sleep wouldn't take hold of me. I tossed and turned in search of a comfortable position, but shifting did no good.

Finally, a little after three, I fell into an uneasy sleep that didn't last long. My new medication didn't seem to have any effect on my nightmares. I was lucky to get half hour intervals between bad dreams.

When it was time to get up for school Monday, I felt less rested than I did when I went to bed. Knowing that staying in bed a few extra minutes would be pointless, I got up and went to the bathroom for a shower. I didn't turn on the hot water because it would probably make me even more tired than the lack of sleep already had me; the cold shock woke me up enough to function.

Rosalie noticed how tired I was on the ride to school. "How much sleep did you get?"

"Not a lot," I admitted. "I'll be fine," I added when she shot me a worried look. Sleepless nights weren't new to me.

Alice picked up immediately on how tired I must have looked. She touched tenderly at the circles under my eyes. "Didn't you sleep well?"

"No." I took her hand in mine. "But it's nothing to worry about."

She didn't look convinced of my immediate brush-off, but she moved on. "How are the pills working?"

"Good so far." I didn't think it was necessary to mention Jonathan's appearance, since the medication simply wore off. I had taken two more pills after breakfast, and they were in the side pocket of my book bag.

"Good." The bell for first period rang, and Alice gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Ready for Government?"

"Yeah." Ten minutes into the class, I realized that the answer to Alice's question was really "no." Tiredness overwhelmed me once facts were being thrown around. I couldn't keep up with what teachers said as classes went on, and I was relieved when lunch came.

The mental break didn't last long. When I sat down with Alice, I noticed movement from the corner of my vision. I turned to see Jonathan again, grinning at me with a gleam in his eyes.

Could the medication have worn off already? I stood up, and Alice looked up at me in question. "Bathroom," I lied. She nodded and went back to her lunch, and I headed out to the strip of lockers. When I was there, I went to mine and dug into the side pocket of my bag and fished out my pills. I quickly popped the cap off and put two into my mouth before replacing the bottle and hurrying back to the cafeteria.

I didn't want Alice to know that the pills hadn't lasted as long as they probably should, because then she could bring up the possibility that they weren't working at all, and I didn't want to consider that at all. The solution to my problems was supposed to be inside those light pink capsules; I couldn't have my only hope for the end taken away.

I finished my lunch while trying to stay in the conversation. The first part of that was simple enough, but the second seemed impossible. My mind couldn't stay attached to one thing for long. Maybe I was in that state where I was so tired that I felt awake and everything in my head was muddled.

When the bell rang to move on with the day, I went to Biology with Edward and Bella. Again, I couldn't follow what was being said with my thoughts jumping from place to place, and in the middle of class, I started to get sudden chills that seemed to numb my thought process.

French was even worse; I had taken Spanish before, but all of the seats were full there, so I was automatically put into French. They were similar languages, but I couldn't even focus on English, let alone a foreign language. The heat must have been cranked up in that room and down in Bio, because I was sweating and hot in French when I was shaking with chills just a period before.

School finally ended, and I went out to the car. I was still sweating even though a December breeze blew blasts of freezing air. Christmas would be coming up soon, I noted. I would have to get Alice a present. Break was on the way, too. I could use the time off of school. Yeah, I've only been going for about a week, but it's been stressful.

I waited beside the car for Rosalie. What was taking her so long? I was still hot, so I slid off my coat. She was in the same class as I was, and _I _was already out here.

Finally, Rosalie came out with Emmett. I wanted to shout at them to hurry, because it was freezing outside. I slid my coat back on and shivered.

Rose unlocked the car door and kissed Emmett before getting into the car. I slid into the passenger's seat beside her and put my bag on the floor. Once the car was on, I turned the heat up as much as it would go and hunched down in my seat to try and keep some body heat in.

Rosalie drove a bit slower than she usually did on account of the threat of ice, but it still made me feel dizzy looking out the window. I usually didn't get dizzy from that, but I found myself closing my eyes and taking in slow breaths to try and stop the world from spinning too fast.

When the car was stopped in the garage, I stumbled out of the car and into the house. "Jasper?" I heard Rosalie call. Her voice sounded like she was at the end of the tunnel, or like I was in a well. I gripped the kitchen counter and tried to blink the colorful stars away, but they swarmed up in my vision.

"Jasper, you forgot your bag," I barely heard. "Are you okay?"

"I… I need… sit down…" I slid along the counter and tried to make it to the living room couch, but I stumbled and nearly fell. Not trusting myself to walk, I held onto the counter with both hands.

I was vaguely aware of hands on my arm and a buzz that was Rose's voice. She tugged my along, and I realized after a beat that she was going to help me sit down somewhere. I released the countertop and let her guide me to the couch. Once I sat down, I immediately fell over, and the colorful starbursts turned to darkness.

_Jasper._

I heard the voice, but I had no desire to listen. I was still tired.

_Jasper, wake up._

No. I don't want to wake up. I want to sleep.

_Jasper._

"Hmm?" I still didn't open my eyes. Maybe the voice would leave me alone.

_Are you feeling okay?_

I realized that the voice was Carlisle. My head started to clear from sleep, and I was able to open my eyes.

I was lying on the couch on my side. Carlisle was squatting down and staring at me. When I was able to look around, I noticed that Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and Alice were all here, too. Alice kneeled beside Carlisle. "Are you alright? God, you scared me."

"Hi." I hadn't realized it earlier because I was so tired, but Alice looked really pretty today. She was wearing a green shirt that brought out her sparkling eyes. But her eyes were worried, and I didn't like that. I wanted to see her smile. "What's wrong?"

"Jasper, you _passed out._ I'm worried about you."

Oh yeah. "Oh yeah. Sorry."

She smiled, but it was small and not what I wanted. I wanted a happy smile. "It's not your fault, Jasper."

"It's probably from your medication," Carlisle interjected. "It can have some nasty side effects."

Emmett sighed loudly. "Well, it could be worse."

I looked up at him. "How could it be worse?"

He stared at me with all seriousness. "Breast milk production."


	54. The Only Exception

Chapter 53: The Only Exception

APOV

Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme must have sensed that I wanted time alone with Jasper, so they all left the room saying that they would let Jasper rest. I probably should have let him rest, too, but we had to talk.

When Rosalie called me and told me that Jasper had passed out for some reason, I freaked out like nothing else. I dropped everything but my car keys and was back out the door to get over here. I was lucky that there were no police around to catch me majorly breaking the speed limit.

Getting here and actually seeing Jasper didn't help at all with calming down. He was pale and unconscious on the couch with Carlisle's fingers on Jasper's wrist while he stared at his watch to check how fast his pulse was going. Jasper was out for another fifteen minutes before he started to groan and move a little. I wanted to talk to him (more like scream about how worried he made me), but Carlisle said that he shouldn't be overwhelmed so soon after waking up.

Jasper's blue eyes were a relief to see when he did finally wake up, but I was still worried. He had seemed okay when he woke up, and I had to admit he was cute when he did, but when everyone else was gone, I jumped on the opportunity to find out what was going on with him. I knew that he was keeping some things from me because he didn't want to "stress me out," but him _not _telling me was much worse.

"Jasper," I said softly, "what's going on? And everything this time. I know that you're holding back to… I don't know, spare me? But don't. I want to know."

His eyes were sad when they looked up at me. He lifted his hand and caressed my cheek softly with his fingertips. That small touch calmed any frazzled nerve in my body. It usually took days for me to fully calm down when my emotions were up in any way, but that one touch did it in a second.

Jasper pulled his hand away and used it to start to sit up. "No, you can lay down," I protested while trying to push him back down. "You need to rest."

When he was fully up, he pulled at my hand that was on his shoulder until I was sitting cuddled into his side. I kicked off my shoes, brought my knees up, and rested my head on his shoulder. He stroked my hair and whispered in my ear, "I'm so sorry."

The words sounded so heartbreakingly sad that tears flooded up. I blinked them back and whispered back, "It's not your fault. I understand why you don't want to tell me."

He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. "I know you do," he sighed with a small smile. "I don't know how, but you do." He opened his eyes again and said, "I got sick because I took more medication than I probably should have."

"Why did you do that?" I asked, trying to make my voice even. I was scared to know the answer to my question.

"Because he came back too soon," Jasper replied. "I just want him to stay away, but…" He shook his head. "But I don't think he ever will. I've tried everything, and he won't leave me alone."

Again, Jasper's eyes were so painfully depressed and hopeless that I wanted to cry. "Maybe you just have to get used to the medication," I said hopefully, even though we both knew that it wasn't the least bit true. "Maybe after some time, you'll get better."

He shook his head again. "That's not it. I know it's not."

I sighed, trying hard not to let tears fall. "I know it, too. I just want you to finally be happy."

Jasper smiled somehow. How could he smile? "I'm not _completely _miserable, you know." He kissed me soft and sweet. "This all lead me to you, you know."

I managed to pull the happiness of that statement into a smile. "You're right. We managed something good through all of this crap."

He laughed, which made my grin get bigger and more enthusiastic. Then he seemed to study my face, and he said, "There's the happy Alice I know and love."

"You love me?" I meant to ask that a little more lightly, but I could hear the real weight of it underneath. No guy had ever said that they loved me before besides my dad and friends, but that was _completely _different on so many levels.

The real meaning didn't escape Jasper's notice, either. His hand came up and brushed my hair away from my face that I hadn't noticed. "I love you, Alice."

The pure look of love in his eyes made it hard for me to breathe right. He said it. He said it, and he meant it. Now how did _I_ feel? Was it too soon to say that I loved him?

I tried it out in my head. _I love you. _I imagined myself saying the words to him. When I did, the knot that had formed in my stomach clenched like I was on a roller coaster, then relaxed, and my heart beat faster. It felt right to say. I loved Jasper. I've never felt like this about anyone. It's never come this far with any other guy. If a past boyfriend was going through this, I probably would have broken up with him, as bad as that sounds. I wouldn't have been able to deal with it, but I think Jasper has made me stronger. And I love him. I love him, I love him, I love him. If it seems too soon for other people, I don't even care. Let them think what they want.

"I love you, too." My stomach did the roller coaster flip again, and my smile couldn't be held back. I tilted my head up and kissed him softly, telling him just how much I loved him without using words. I felt his love through the simple kiss, too.

I wound my arms around Jasper's neck, and his arms went around my waist. Since I was practically on his lap anyway, I sat up on my knees without breaking the kiss and moved so I was straddling his legs. He pulled me even closer, and my fingers played with his soft hair. We kissed like that for a good minute before we both needed some air. Breathing heavily, I just stared at his face, working to memorizing everything about it: the way his hair curls on his forehead, his strong jaw and cheekbones, his straight nose, and those eyes that were staring back at me in the same way. "Whatever happens," he said, "everything will be okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise." He sealed it with a kiss.

**Yeahh, not much going on. Jasper needs to have his realization. "What realization?" Well, made-up studio audience, I'm not going to tell you just yet ;) **


	55. Never Give In

Chapter 54: Never Give In

JPOV

Days became more than simple days for me. Most teenagers just went to school in the morning and then went home thinking that they had a bad day, so they spend time with friends or do things to unwind. For me, school was a battle more than just an inconvenience, and unwinding from that was taking pills. I didn't like over-exaggerating and thinking that my life was worse than others, but I think that I had some room to complain about this.

I made sure that my pill-taking didn't get out of hand again, but they just didn't work as well as I needed sometimes. Jonathan always came back too soon in between dosages. I could handle that if I wasn't in school when he made his appearances and demanded just as much of my attention as the schoolwork did. Alice was supportive and would always help me with homework after school, when I could actually focus and write down something that made sense. She was the reason that I wasn't completely failing my classes.

Two weeks after passing out, Christmas break started, which meant two more weeks off of school. I thought that it would feel good to sleep in tomorrow, but that was ruined with my nightmare.

In the nightmare, I had a dream that I woke up in the middle of the night. I was going to go back to "sleep" when I saw my parents standing at the end of my bed.

I sat up quickly, startled. They were covered in blood, and their clothes were torn where the knife had stabbed them over and over. Their hands were linked together tightly, and their eyes were sad. My mother was crying, washing the blood from her face.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't even think. All I could do was stare in horror and breathe heavily. I had really thought that I had woken up, and that my parents were actually here. Finally, I could choke out, "Oh my God."

That made my mother cry harder. The sight of her, bloody and sobbing and pale, made my own eyes water. "Oh my God, I—I'm so sorry."

My voice cracked in so many different places that I didn't know if they could understand me, but my father said, "We know. It's not your fault, Jasper."

I couldn't hold it back. I hid my face in my hands and cried. Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder. It made me jump and pull my hands away. My father was standing over me. He bent down to whisper, "Don't forget, Jasper. Don't forget."

That was when I woke up panting, with tears wet on my face and a sheen of sweat. When I realized that it was all a dream, I let out a heavy breath and tried to regulate my breathing. I wanted to stay in bed and cry, but I knew that that wouldn't help me, so I got up to get a shower.

_Don't forget. _It was almost like what Jonathan's been telling me, I thought as I tried to relax under the hot water. Jonathan had said that he was haunting me because he had to remind me of that night. He said that I forgot my parents and was ignoring everything that's happened. So they were both saying the same thing? Why would they send me the same message?

I finished my shower and got dressed, trying to make sense of that. My father telling me not to forget, I understand, but the man who killed him? It almost sounded like he was trying to help me, but that didn't make sense, either.

I went downstairs once I was ready. Maybe some food would help me think more clearly and get some answers from it. Esme had waffles, butter, syrup, and juice already on the table, and she and Rosalie were already eating. Carlisle must have gone to work already.

As I sat down where there was a plate and fork laid out, Esme said, "Good morning, Jasper."

"Good morning," I answered with a smile I tried to make convincing. The nightmare still had me shaken up.

As we all ate, I thought through the dream and how it all fit together with everything else that's been going on. Why would my dad and Jonathan want to tell me the same thing? Why did they both think that I had forgotten them?

_Do you realize that you haven't seen your parents' graves since the funeral? People go to graves to remember their lost loved ones, but _you_… you forget them._

Jonathan couldn't have been right about that… could he?

When I was finished with my breakfast, I went back up to my room. I only had one solution to this, and I didn't even know if it would work, but I would try it. So at dinner that night, when Carlisle and Esme were both there, I asked, "Would it be okay if I went down to Texas?"

Carlisle and Esme exchanged glances of slight surprise. "I would be back by Christmas," I added in, "and I have money in a bank account to pay for it."

"Are you planning on going alone?" Esme asked anxiously. "I'm fine with you going as long as Carlisle is and you have someone with you."

"Rose, did you want to go with me?" I asked.

She put her fork down and stared at the table. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I don't think I'm ready yet. But I want you to be able to go. I think it's what you need."

"It's okay. May I be excused to make a phone call?"

When Carlisle nodded, I left the table and went to the phone. If there was one other person I wanted with me for this, it was Alice. I dialed her cell phone number and waited while it rang. "Hi, Jasper," she answered happily.

I smiled at the sound of her voice. "Hi, Alice."

"What's up?"

"Well, um, I was thinking about going somewhere, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me."

"Yeah! So where were you thinking about going?"

"Uh… Texas?"

"Texas? Wow."

"I think it'll… help me. Going back. Rose doesn't want to go back just yet, and it would help having you there. I plan on being back by Christmas." Which reminded me that I still needed to get her something, and that I had no idea what that would be.

"I'll ask my parents. When would we leave?"

"If we have to be back by Sunday, I was thinking tomorrow."

"Okay. Can I call you back?"

"Yeah, sure. Bye. I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied sweetly before she hung up.

I went back to the table to finish eating before she called back. "She's asking her parents now."

I took a bite of food before noticing Rosalie was staring at me. Staring and smiling. I shot her a questioning look, because I honestly had no idea what it meant. Rose glanced over at Carlisle and Esme, who were busy talking about something to themselves. Satisfied, she put up a hand to shield her mouth from them and mouthed, "You love her?"

Oh. I went back to eating and didn't answer her, but I was sure that I was blushing. I glanced up to see her smiling at her own food. I was glad that she hadn't asked that out loud in front of Carlisle and Esme.

I finished my food and got up to rinse my plate and glass when the phone rang again. I set my dishes in the sink for the time being and went to the phone, answering it before the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hi," Alice said excitedly. "My parents said that I could go!"

"That's great. I'll make sure to let you know about when we'll leave."

"Okay. Well if we're planning on leaving tomorrow then I gotta pack. Love you! Bye!"

"Bye," I said through a laugh before hanging up the phone.

"Jasper, I'll go and arrange for plane tickets," Esme said. "For tomorrow you said?"

"Yeah, if it's no trouble…"

Esme waved my comment off. "None at all." She rinsed her plate and started up the stairs. "Make sure you pack and are ready for tomorrow!"

I went upstairs myself and took my black duffel bag from under my bed. I threw a week's worth of clothes in and made sure I had my credit card and pills on my dresser where I could see them, taking two pills before leaving the room.

Shortly after I was finished loading the dishwasher, Esme came downstairs. "Your flight is set for eleven," she said.

"Thanks, Esme, really."

"Not a problem."

"I can tell Alice when the flight leaves," Rosalie said as she headed upstairs. "I have to call her anyway." The smile she directed pointedly at me made me think that she would ask Alice about our relationship. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that.

"Are you packed for tomorrow?" Esme asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Oh, that reminds me." Esme went around into the kitchen and pulled a box from a white bag sitting on the counter. The box was black and had a cell phone on the front. She handed it to me and said, "Carlisle and I thought you should have this. We wouldn't want you to get stranded somewhere without a way to reach you."

"Thank you," I said.

I heard the front door open and close, and Emmett walked in. "Hey, people," he greeted. "Ooh, you fancy, huh?" Emmett took the box from my hand and opened it. "Pretty. So is munchkin here then?"

"Alice is packing and talking to Rosalie on the phone, I think," I answered. "She's going with me to Texas."

"Sweet! Dude, get me a hat."

"A hat?"

"A cowboy hat! _Duuuh_!" He gave me back the phone and the box it came in. "So Rose is here? You think she'll be done on the phone soon?"

After he asked that, there was a loud excited squeal from Rosalie upstairs. I smiled. "Not likely."

**So I don't know when I can post next, because I, um *cough* cracked the screen on my laptop. Oops. So either I'll do a ton of chores and tell my mom it's broken or find an alternative method.**

**Oh, and this might be the second-to-last chapter, not counting the Epilogue. It depends on how much I have to do and if I'll split it into two more chapters or not. I'M SO SAD IT'S ALMOST OVER! I won't know what to do with myself…**

**Reviews are as phenomenal as seeing a double rainbow. Let me see those rainbows, people.**


	56. Your Guardian Angel

Chapter 55: Your Guardian Angel

JPOV

"Jasper, look, we're landing. Isn't it pretty?"

Alice nudged my arm and pointed out the window. Texas laid sprawled underneath us miles below. I found myself wondering what my life would have been like if my parents were never killed. There were plenty of good things that could have come from it, but then again, I wouldn't have met Alice or any of the friends I have now. If I focused on the good things that have come out of it all, everything would be fine. I would get through this trip if I held onto the good things.

Alice bounced in her seat as we landed. "I already like it here," she said.

I laughed at her enthusiasm and stared out the window with her. I've been to the George Bush Intercontinental a few times when I was younger for vacations; I tried to rememorize what had once been my home as the plane came to a stop. Alice looked at me, and I met her eyes. "Are you still okay with this?" she asked sincerely.

I offered her a smile. "Yeah. I'm just afraid that it won't work. After this, I'm out of ideas."

She leaned over and kissed my cheek. "We'll get through this. No matter what happens."

When we were off the plane and had our bags, we found the car rental and loaded our bags inside before heading to the Four Seasons hotel. Esme had already taken care of the hotel arrangements beforehand, so all we had to do was pick up our key cards at the front desk.

We found our room and went inside. It was decorated in different shades of brown, tan, and cream colors. Alice let out an excited squeal and started running around the suite: she bounced up and down on the loveseat, then went to the bathroom, then threw open French frosted doors and leaped face-first onto the bed. She rolled back over and said, "There's _two _TVs in this place! Esme gets a big hug when we get home." Alice closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm so glad I got to come."

"You made it sound like there was a fight over it," I replied as I sat on the bed.

"Because there was." Alice opened her eyes, which were filled with guilt. "They didn't want me to come at all, so I made them feel guilty about me going to the asylum. We were just getting back to normal about all of that, too. Mom finally gave in, but Dad still didn't want me going. And this is with them thinking that the rest of your family went along, too." She groaned and covered her eyes with her hands. "I suck."

"Don't say that." I put my hand on her arm to try and coax it away from her face. "You did what anyone our age would have done. You probably acted better, even. I could imagine several of our classmates rolling around on the floor crying because they couldn't go."

That got me a giggle, and Alice took her hands from her face. "The sad thing is that that's completely true."

"And it's not like we're coming here just to fool around."

Alice pulled a face of mock disappointment and sat up until she was kneeling. She planted her hands on her hips and said, "Are you kidding me? That's _totally _the only reason I came!" I laughed, but then she became suddenly serious. "So what are you gonna do first?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I was going to visit my parents' graves tomorrow," I said quietly.

Alice played with the hem of my shirt. "Do you mind if I come, or is this something you have to do by yourself?"

I pulled her into my side and kissed the top of her head. "I would love it if you came."

She smiled up at me and leaned up to kiss my jaw. "And then what?"

"My parents had a storage unit. Rose and I each have a key, so I'm going to go there, too. Just to check it out." I rubbed a lock of her hair in between my fingers. "I think I'll do that on my own, but I don't want to leave you by yourself."

"No, it's okay," she said with a hint of excitement. "I have some shopping to do. I still have to get your present. Is there anywhere else you have to go?"

I swallowed hard. I was leaving the worst for last. "Prison."

The next day, we left in the morning for Glenwood Cemetery. The sun felt nice with the breeze blowing, and Alice's hand as warm in mine as we walked the paths to find where my parents were buried. My throat seemed to get tighter with each step until I thought that I would suffocate, but then we got to the graves. I let out the breath I've been holding.

Alice's thumb rubbed over my hand for much needed reassurance as we stopped in front of the gravestone. The stone was granite and bordered with a carving of roses around the names of my parents. I could only read it once before my eyes got blurry with tears. The guilt of waiting all these years to see the grave pressed on my chest, making it hard to breathe again.

My knees went weak, so I sat on the plush grass before I could fall. Alice came to sit with me, and I hugged her close. She let out a soft sob into my chest. With being here and hearing her cry, I couldn't hold anything back any longer. I cried with her as loud as I wanted for a long time. Years of pain and regret leaked from my eyes and came out in sobs that I couldn't have held back if I had wanted to.

Both of us calmed down after awhile. I didn't know how long we just sat there and cried, but I felt better for it. "Why did I wait so long?" I whispered into Alice's hair. My voice cracked in a dozen places, so I cleared my throat.

"Because it hurts," she answered. "I would have waited, too, if it were me."

I kissed the top of her head. "I'm glad you came with me. I don't think I could have done this alone."

She looked up into my eyes with nothing but love that I probably mirrored in my stare. "You'll never be alone again."

I went to the storage unit after dropping Alice off at the mall. I had promised her that I wouldn't be long, so she said that I should go there, do what I had to, and then come meet her there.

I found unit 106 and fit the key into the lock. I was almost afraid that it wouldn't work, like I had waited too long and it wouldn't let me in because of it. It was irrational, but it's what went through my mind a second before it opened.

I let the door slide open, and light poured over neatly stacked boxes in the back. There weren't a whole lot because Rosalie and I had agreed to let a lot of things be sold. The things that weren't sold were in the boxes.

The boxes weren't labeled at all, so I started at random. The first box contained Rosalie's childhood things like clothes and toys. The next box was the same, only my things. I didn't linger long in either box, but the next one had two jewelry boxes inside. I carefully took them out of the box and looked at what was inside.

My mother never wore a lot of different jewelry, but when people didn't know what to get a woman for whatever event a gift is necessary, jewelry is usually what they ended up choosing. This called for a jewelry box of what she wore and one holding the pieces that she never bothered returning just in case someone asked about it. I sifted through the box of extras and realized quickly why she never wore some of them. I didn't know a lot about jewelry, but I knew that some weren't the best gifts.

Next came the other box. This one was just a box instead of a box with different drawers like the other one was. I opened it and took more care looking through them, because these were of more value to my mother than the other box.

Every necklace and pair of earrings were in a small, clear plastic bag so they didn't get lost or tangled with the rest. There was a diamond pendant and what I guessed to be a matching set of earrings, a gold chain, and another necklace in the shape of a pink jewel heart. My eyes sting when I remembered that the heart was a gift for mother's day when Rose and I were six. There was also a heart-shaped locket that held a picture of me and Rosalie on one side and one of my father and mother on the other.

I replaced each bag carefully and moved to the corner of the box where there were rings. In a bag was Mom and Dad's wedding bands and Mom's engagement ring. I guess someone thought that one of us might want them, so they kept them instead of burying them with our parents. I placed the bag carefully aside and picked up another bag for close examination to find both of their class rings.

The final ring in the box was one I remembered well. Mom had lost it once and was desperate to find it for days. I was the one to find it behind the trash can in the bathroom. Mom hadn't been home, so I brought it to Dad and asked him why it was so special to her. With a smile, he had said, "I gave this to her as a birthday gift, the same day I told her that I loved her for the first time. She said that any time she looked at it, it reminded her of how much I love her."

The ring itself was a silver band of a design of what looked like leaves and diamonds that split and let to a blue topaz gem. The stone seemed to be the exact color of Alice's eyes and just as beautiful.

I put the ring back in the box and closed it. Then, I packed up the other jewelry box and left the smaller one out and off to the side. After looking through the other two boxes (both filled with picture albums of people I didn't know at places I've never been taken before I was born) and taking only a picture of my mom and dad before what looked like their prom, I left the storage unit with the jewelry box under my arm.

I found Alice sitting in the food court where she said she would be when I called her from the car. She was nearly turned completely away from me and looking down at her lap, so she didn't see me come up behind her. I would my arms around her and kissed her cheek. "Hey."

She jumped at the contact and looked up from her phone. "Jasper!" She turned so she could give me a sweet kiss on the lips.

I sat down beside her, having to move one of the many bags to do so. "Shopping go well?"

"Yes," she answered with a smile. "I officially love it here."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, darlin'."

We got some food and sat back down to eat. I hadn't realized that I was so hungry until I started eating. After we were both done, we carried the bags to the car. I made sure before I left the warehouse to hide the jewelry box under the blanket in the trunk. On the ride back to the hotel, Alice asked how it went at the storage unit. I told her everything apart from the jewelry box.

We moved on to the topic of my next task, which didn't come as easier conversation. "They already know that I'm coming tomorrow," I informed her. "I thought it would be harder to get in, but they didn't seem to have a problem. I don't know how long I'll be, either, but I don't plan on lingering in there long."

Alice chewed her lip. "What are you going to say to him?"

I sighed. "I guess I'll… just ask him if he… regrets what he's done. Or why." Then I told her about the hallucination of him telling me his life story and what Dr. Hetzer said about it. "Then we'll see where the conversation goes from there, I suppose."

She looked at me with wide eyes and her lip still caught in between her teeth. "What if it doesn't help?"

I parked the rental car at the hotel and shut it off. Running my hands through my hair, I said, "We'll worry about that if it comes down to it."


	57. I Wanna Be Free

**So I lied when I said that there would be an epilogue. Sorry. I had planned it, then thought about it and realized I had only thought of one little part for it. So this is it. **

Chapter 56: I Wanna Be Free

JPOV

Two prison guards were with me as we went down the hall. My stomach was twisted in knots that seemed to get tighter with each step. I knew that Jonathan couldn't hurt me, but I was more afraid of how he would try to push my emotions too far. I would only have one chance at this, and if it didn't work, I would be trapped by my own mind for the rest of my life.

I was lead to a plain room with a steel table and a chair on each side, facing each other. I sat on the edge of the one closest to me and waited. The guards would be outside the door watching our conversation, ready to step in at any sign of danger. I didn't know what Jonathan could physically do to me, since they also told me that he would be restrained. It was what he would say that I was most afraid of.

I didn't have to wait long before I heard a large door slam and multiple sets of footsteps growing louder. I glanced at the door to the right of me. It was the only door, so he would have to come in through the same one I had minutes before.

The door started to open, and I forced my face to be blank. I didn't want Jonathan to have the upper hand so soon. I leaned back in my chair and had my arms crossed over my chest when Jonathan and two more guards entered.

I had expected the real Jonathan to be exactly like the Jonathan of my hallucinations, but that wasn't the case. His hair was a mess and had gotten longer so it fell in his eyes like he didn't care about it at all; a few days' stubble had grown along his jaw; he looked bigger and even more menacing than before. Even with all of those differences, he still stood straight and proud, like years of prison hadn't worn him down with guilt and loneliness. But then again, his eyes, which were always alight with a malignant glow when I saw him, were dark twin voids that held no emotion. They did flash with surprise, or maybe it was confusion—would he recognize me after I've grown?—but then they went back to being blank.

The guards at his sides guided him to the chair across the table, and he was put in restraints. I hadn't noticed the shackles that were around his wrists when he came in until he was being tethered to the chair he was sitting on. When he was secure, the guards left the room and disappeared down the hall.

There was a pause where I stared at him and he stared back with seemingly little interest. I kept my facial features hard so the most I could look was angry and the least I could look was disinterested. I thought I would have to start the conversation, but then he said in a voice scratchy with disuse, "You're the boy, aren't you? The last one."

I inclined my head once in a curt nod.

"And the girl didn't come with you?" A glimmer of curiosity might have flared up in his eyes, but I couldn't be sure.

"She has nothing to say to you." My tone, surprisingly, was level and hinted with only the slightest bit of controlled anger. Maybe I could do this.

"And you do?" He was definitely curious now. There couldn't have been much to catch his interest in prison after so long.

"You've been giving me a bit of trouble lately." I looked down at my hand and picked at a nail for an air of little concern on the matter. I didn't know if he bought it or not, but I didn't look up to try and figure that out. "Maybe I can clear that up today."

At his raspy chuckle, I looked back up. "Hopefully," he said. "I'm all about helping people. But I'm sure you knew that." His eyes were back to what they were in my hallucinations: taunting, calculating how I could be hurt next, sorting out what he was dealing with and how he could use it.

"Of course," I replied just as sarcastically. Then, sobering, I continued. "I also know that you like to share."

His mouth twisted slightly into a sort of smile. "Do I? And why do you say that… Jasper Hale? That _is _your name, if I hadn't forgotten."

"You haven't. I'm flattered." Hopefully what I knew about his past could catch him off guard. That's probably where the self-confidence to talk to this man on the same level came from. He had always been above me, but now we could be leveled out.

I stared at him and waited until he spoke again. "Were you planning on enlightening me as to how I "like to share," as you put it?"

"I know about your family," I explained softly. "Your brother, what your parents did to him. And then what you did to them."

His mouth straightened from its smile, and his eyes were piercing, like he was trying to hurt me with his stare alone. After a moment of fury, his face relaxed. "Who told you? Cops? Or was it on TV or somethin'?"

I shrugged. "I don't know where I heard it first." Now that I knew that the whole story wasn't something of my imagination, I would have had to have heard it somewhere before. I had probably blocked it out or wasn't listening too closely when I heard, because I didn't know who had told me now.

"Don't lie to me," Jonathan snapped.

"You want the truth?" I asked with a bitter smile. He probably wouldn't believe what I told him.

"Yes."

"You told me." Before he could protest, I added, "That trouble I mentioned earlier? Hallucinations. Of you. I don't remember where I heard the story first because I had to have heard it before, but you told me again."

For a minute he just stared. Then his eyes narrowed. "So you're crazy?"

I paused for a second, than answered with, "I suppose so, yes. I am."

He smiled and shrugged a shoulder. "Can't help you there. Get meds or somethin'."

"I did. They haven't been working too well."

"Again," he said with a slightly bigger smile, "not my problem. What did you hope to do by coming here?"

It was my turn to shrug. "I don't know."

"Then you're wasting my time with this. My time's valuable now, you know. They're gonna stick me with the needle in a few days." Jonathan looked over at the door like he was going to call for the guards to come take him away.

Panic made me continue the conversation in any way. I still didn't think I was better. "What's so important that you have to be doing right now instead of talking to me?"

He let out a dry laugh. "Praying?"

"It's a little too late for that," I pointed out with slightly raised eyebrows.

His mouth quirked up again. "So I'm going to hell?" he didn't seem concerned about this, or like he needed me to answer the question. He had thought this over a long time ago.

I shrugged again. "Who am I to say?"

Jonathan surprised me by hitting me with a level and almost patient stare. "Say what you came here to say," he demanded.

"So you killed people to make others feel as alone as you felt?"

"I did it because it wasn't fair to me. What right did God have to make only me suffer?" He shrugged one shoulder again and brought his hands up to the table, his shackles rattling. He tapped his fingers against the shiny surface and said, "So I had a damn good time playing God for awhile," like it was fact and not the bitter statement I expected the words to be.

"And what right did _you _have picking and choosing who suffers along with you?"

He looked up from his hands. "Like you said, I like to share."

"I think it's also a way to make people as haunted as you are."

"And you know so much about being haunted?" He scoffed. "I think I've had it _far_ worse than you. It wasn't your own family hurting you. Not giving a shit about you. I've been alone for my entire life." He didn't let any vulnerability seep into the words; he kept his emotions safe from being used as weapons against him.

"I know about being haunted. _You've_ been the one haunting me." And suddenly, a burst of recognition came to me. What I recognized was the truth. That realization formed all of the words that I couldn't have before. "And you're right about my family not hurting me. I've been cared for. But it's your own fault that you've been alone for all your life. I could have pushed people away after what happened. Hell, I _did _for years. But then I took the risk of getting close to people, and it ended up saving me."

"It's a little too late for me." The look in his eyes hinted that he's already thought about this. I know he had. There had to have been too much time alone not to have let the thought cross his mind at all.

"I know it is. But you could have overcome it all, you know. You could have been something other than a killer."

He focused his stare on his hands again—possibly to hide what I was reading from his face. "If you're trying to make me regret everything—"

"No. I can't make you do much of anything, and it wouldn't do me any good if I could." Another tiny burst went off in my chest that let the right words come up. "You could have done it without forgetting. I've been lying to myself for a long time, even though I never knew it myself. I guess you showed me that. If I'm being honest with myself, you helped me. Well, a figment of you. In my head. You showed me that I shouldn't forget, but I don't have to dwell on the past and stay stuck in it. I can move forward with memories."

His jaw worked like he was turning something over in his head. "Huh," he said finally. "I guess I helped someone after all, even if I didn't mean to, and it was in a fucked up way." He looked back up at me. "So did I… what, help you or whatever?"

All that I said to him was like a heavy tumor removed from my body. I've never felt better than I did right then, sitting in a prison across from the man who nearly ruined my life. "I think you did."

He cracked another smile. "So does this make up for killing your parents?"

My eyes narrowed. "Fuck no," I said harshly.

His grin became the more twisted, sick one I was accustomed to. "I figured."

"But," I added, "I guess you made something a little better out of what you destroyed. For that much, I thank you. If this worked like I planned, I can live my life in some kind of peace."

He nodded, taking that in. "Maybe I won't go to right to hell after all." When he smiled that last time, it reached his eyes like a real smile. For the first time, he seemed nearly human to me. Not completely, not even close to that. But it was all he had left for me, and I would take it.

Alice and I used the rest of the time in Texas as a sort of mini-vacation and then headed home early Christmas Eve. We had called ahead to Carlisle and Esme, so they and Rosalie picked us up at the airport (with about twice as much luggage than what we came with). Rosalie decided to spend some time at Alice's house, so I went home with Carlisle and Esme. Once there, I unpacked and wrapped the gifts I had gotten for Rose, Alice, Carlisle, and Esme.

Once everything was taken care of, I got a shower and then decided to take a nap. I hadn't gotten much sleep in Texas because of the stress and then staying up to watch movies with Alice once "business" was taken care of.

I was shaken out of sleep some time later. "Jasper!"

I jerked in surprise and opened my eyes. Rosalie was standing over me. "Esme told me to wake you up. We have the Christmas Eve party at Edward's, remember?"

"Oh," I mumbled groggily, "yeah." I ran a hand over my face. She had mentioned the party before we left for Texas and reminded me coming home. "I'll be ready in a minute."

"You have plenty of time. I have to go get ready myself." With a smile , she left the room. I pushed myself up off the comfortable bed reluctantly and went to my closet to find some dress clothes. I got decent, dreamless sleep, but I wish I could have more to completely catch up on what I missed.

As I dressed in black pants and a red sweater, I woke myself up with the thought of Alice being at the Masen's party. I had planned at the first mention of the party and its guests that I would give her the present in private tonight. Worry tied a knot in my stomach at the thought of Alice not liking the gift. I thought it was a good gift, something that she would like, but I wasn't one hundred percent positive of it. I guess I would just have to wait and see her reaction. She would never tell me that she didn't like it, but I think I could tell if she was lying. If she doesn't like it, well, I would just have to deal with that awkward moment if it came down to it.

I slipped the small wrapped box in my pocket before going to the bathroom to brush my teeth and quickly comb my hair before heading downstairs.

Carlisle was talking to Esme in the kitchen, both of them dressed and ready to go for the party. Esme was putting plastic wrap over a plate of red and green-iced sugar cookies. They both greeted me as I descended to the living room. "You look nice," Esme said.

"Thanks, so do you," I replied. She smiled in thanks as she tucked the last of the plastic wrap under the plate of cookies.

"Jasper," Carlisle said. "I never asked how the… tougher parts of the trip went for you. Are you okay?"

I leaned my hip against the counter and rested my arm on the slick surface. I hadn't been hallucinating at all after I talked to Jonathan in prison, but did that really mean that he was gone? I couldn't be sure, but I thought that I had fixed it.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I think only time will tell. I thought it went well when I talked to Jonathan, but I don't know if that guarantees anything."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully, taking the words in. "I see." The contemplative line of his mouth curved into a fatherly smile. "Well, hopefully tonight goes well for you."

I nodded, hoping the same thing. Rosalie then came down the stairs, dressed up and ready to go. With her arrival, we went out to the garage and got into Carlisle's glossy Mercedes. He drove through a light snowfall down the road about a mile, then turned onto a hidden driveway that was concealed in the woods like the Cullen mansion was. Edward's house was much like that, only painted a robin egg blue instead of white.

More cars were parked near the house. Carlisle parked the car, and we unloaded into the cold snowfall. Once at the door, Carlisle knocked, and a pretty woman who looked very similar to Edward answered. Everyone shared warm greetings with her as they entered the foyer, and to me she said, "You must be Jasper! I'm Elizabeth, Edward's mother. Nice to meet you."

"Hello," I replied.

We went into the living room, where the rest of the guests were. It looked like the party consisted of Alice, Emmett, and Edward's families, along with our own. I was introduced to the parents I hadn't already met, and Emmett pointed out his six younger siblings, stating their names for me.

After some mingling, we all had dinner. The seating arrangements were basically that the parents sat around the dining room table, then me and my friends around a folding table in the basement, and then the younger children around another folding table right next to ours.

After everyone was finished with dinner, it was basically a time to socialize. Questions about Texas were brought up, and Alice provided most of the answers enthusiastically. I liked to watch her talk when she was so excited; she would use her hands to describe things, and her eyes would be alight with animation.

When Emmett and Edward got engaged in a conversation using the names of people I didn't know, I took my chance. "Can we go somewhere private? I have something for you."

She looked up at me and smiled. "Okay." I stood and held out my hand for her to take. She did; it was soft and warm as always. We went upstairs, and Alice said as she looked out the window, "Ooh, let's go outside, it's snowing!" When I nodded, we grabbed out coats and slipped out the front door.

"I didn't bring your present!" Alice cried apologetically.

"It's okay," I replied. We had walked a few paces into the snowfall so we were standing in the driveway. I stopped, and she turned to face me. I pulled the silver package out of my pocket, took her hand, and placed it in her palm. "I hope you like it."

When I let go of her hand, she stared up into my eyes for a second before looking down at the gift. She tore the wrapping paper away eagerly to reveal the velvet box. She glanced up at me with a little gasp and slowly opened the box. Her eyes widened, and this time she let out a louder gasp, which I took as a good sign. The ring with the blue topaz stone that my father gave my mother glittered in the box.

"Oh my God," she breathed. "It's beautiful." She looked up at me in a sort of happy disbelief and then back down at the ring.

"My father gave it to my mother the first time he said that he loved her." I gently took the box back and lifted the ring out of it. After closing the box and slipping it back into my pocket with the torn wrapping paper, I took her hand. "Seeing as I already did that," I went on, "I want this to be a symbol of just how much I love you. You're my first and only love, Alice Brandon, and I'll love you until the day I die. No matter what happens." I slipped the ring onto her finger and brought it to my lips.

She let out a breathy laugh. A tear ran down her face, but she was smiling the most dazzling smile. "I love you too, Jasper," she said shakily. Then she reached up to wipe her face. "Oh God, I'm crying," she laughed.

I caressed the tear she missed with my thumb. She brought my hand down so she could throw her arms around my neck. I wrapped my own arms tight around her, holding her as close as I could, loving the warmth of her against me.

A flash of movement caught my eye. Jonathan stood a little ways away, leaning against Carlisle's Mercedes. His arms were crossed over his chest. He looked like he had the day I visited him: shaggy, unkempt hair, slight facial hair, white uniform. Before I could panic, he smiled. Like the smile he sent my way before I left, this one was genuine and touched his eyes. He nodded in my direction. I smiled slightly back and inclined my head a fraction so Alice didn't feel it. With our sort of truce, Jonathan said, "Have a nice life," void of any sarcasm, and then faded away with a sound like a peaceful wind.

I buried my face in Alice's soft hair and laughed softly. "Everything will be okay now."

Alice pulled back. "You think so?"

I glanced back to where Jonathan had been standing. "I know so. It's nice not to be alone anymore."

"And you never will be again," Alice replied. "I promise."

The promise was sealed with a kiss.

**It was really corny, I realize, but I hope you liked it :D**

**Now I'm gonna be completely lame and advertize: if anyone is a Killjoy (My Chemical Romance), my story for that should be posted. **

**Have a nice life.**


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